A/N: this is my first chapter of my first fanfic so pls only constructive criticism. Enjoy! :)

I woke up in the middle of the night with a pain in my chest. Water in my lungs again. My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster and I am a cancer patient. Long story short my lungs suck at being lungs.

Three days after that I found myself in the hospital with another tube attached to me. I already had oxygen nubbins in my nose my whole life and now they were going to hook me up to another freaking machine. I can't tell you how depressing this visit to the hospital was. The last time I was here I had an amazing boyfriend waiting for me right outside in the waiting room. This timeā€¦. Not so much.

It has been almost 4 months since the love of my life died of cancer. Augustus Waters were by best friend and sometimes my only friend and he passed away because of cancer. The thing that the doctors were treating me for. I kept telling them to take out the nubbins, stop the chemo and Phalanxifor. You know one of those experimental medicines for not having many survivors. Because you know after Gus died I had nothing NOTHING to live for anymore.

His clever assy smile was there until the end, I wish I could say that. But I can't. I remember about a week or less before he died he called me in the middle of the night and told me he was at the gas station. Right after he was diagnosed he was started on chemo. The tube got infected and he was pretty much having a panic attack. He said that he wanted to get a pack of cigarettes, to do something for the first time since he was diagnosed. Oh, the cigarette thing right. He has this metaphor that you put the thing that kills you (the cigarette) right between your teeth. But you don't give it the power to kill you. (Lighting it). That was my favorite thing about him. I miss him like hell. It hurts like hell. I haven't dated anyone since. What!? Grieving takes a while for me. He used his wish on me. They say what goes around comes around. Well, clearly that's BS because Gus did anything and everything to please everyone, and what did he get when it "came around". BS.