"Ms. Karnstein, what do you think of Justin Bieber's latest illegal stunt?" a paparazzo asked her, jogging to keep up as he pointed his camera at her. She glared into the lens.

"I don't even know what he did because knowing would mean caring and I don't care either," she responded coolly, walking quicker.

"He's known as Hollywood's Bad Boy and some have even begun comparing you to him ever since you punched a fan at one of your own concerts only months ago. Any comments?"

"I already told you, the guy deliberately grabbed my tit. You want me to kindly ask him to stop?" she answered furiously, her eyebrows shooting up. "And as for Beaver, or whatever the twerp's name is, don't ever fucking compare me to that piece of garbage. Ever. He can't sing for shit and always wears a loaded diaper as a fashion statement."

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"Didn't he take a swing at one of your people?" Carmilla retorted. "And tackle another?"

"So you do follow up on him."

The girl stopped dead in her tracks and gave the paparazzo a dirty look.

"No, I don't follow up on Beaver. But it seems everybody else does, so they put it every-fucking-where. I can't escape this disgusting infection, what is it now, Beaver fever?" she rolled her eyes and began walking again. "More like Beaver cleaver. You know what I'd like to cleave off him? His microscopic dick!"

And with that, she flipped the camera off before ducking into the hotel and out of its sight.

"Ms. Karnstein!" a woman called after her and she stopped abruptly.

"What?" she snapped.

"There is a girl up in your room waiting for you," the woman informed her cautiously. Carmilla blinked in response. "I guess she somehow found out that you were staying here and insisted on seeing you. Also... here. Drink."

The woman held out a glass bottle filled with a red substance. Carmilla eyes the bottle and rolled her eyes.

"Yippee-ki-fucking-yay," Carmilla muttered as she took the beverage and trudged over to the elevator. "It'll be a mob in less than ten minutes. Just you watch."

"Ms. Karnstein—"

"What?" she growled. "I'm going to eject her immediately."

"Just... eject her politely when you do. Please. We don't want to give the media any more dirt on you than they already have."

"We'll see about that..." the vampire grumbled, rapidly and senselessly jabbing at the elevator button with her finger. "Where the hell is this thing? I could've taken the stairs and made it up there by now."

She waited a few more impatient seconds before stomping over to the stairwell and racing up the several flights without ever even breaking a sweat or losing her breath.

Just as she got on her desired floor and stepped out of the stairwell, she heard the elevator ding and its doors open. She rolled her eyes as she went over to her room and swiped her card key. The light above the door handle blinked green she she shoved the door open and slammed it closed upon entering, readying herself to tear into the unwanted guest.

Upon her bed sat a petite girl with light brown hair, childish eyes, and an enthusiastic smile. The vampire let out an inaudible groan.

"What do you want?" she asked sharply, raking her fingers through her hair.

"I heard you were staying here and I wanted to slip in for an exclusive interview," the girl explained, her grin never wavering. She was utterly too peppy for the vampire.

"You don't have a microphone—do you even have a camera?" Carmilla grumbled.

"I do have a camera," the girl countered as she moved to reveal one on the bed behind her. "I have a tripod too."

The vampire sighed heavily and glared at her.

"How much to make you go away?" she asked, digging out her black leather wallet and rifling through her cash.

"Five or ten minutes, tops."

Another death glare from Carmilla.

"Money, creampuff..." she venomously informed her. "How much money to make you go away?"

"Five or ten minutes," the girl insisted stubbornly.

"Five or ten is quite a difference," Carmilla hissed as she put her wallet away. The girl shrugged innocently. "But it doesn't look like you're going anywhere any time soon, so..."

"Yes! I knew you'd come around," the girl responded excitedly as she sprung up from the bed and began setting up her tripod and camera. The vampire sat cross-legged on the bed and waited for the girl to join her.

Carmilla meant to look over at her with annoyance, but found herself distracted by the girl's shapely derrière. She immediately averted her eyes and cleared her throat, crossing her arms to barricade herself from what was to come.

"Okay, so I am here with Carmilla Karnstein—the one and only," the girl announced brilliantly. The vampire rolled her eyes again.

"I know who I am, cupcake."

"I wasn't talking to you," the girl answered her, her positive exterior showing a flash of frigidity upon being interrupted. The vampire found it amusing, but kept silent as she let the human finish once she turned back to the camera. "I know you're wondering how it is that I, Laura Hollis, managed to get in with such a huge star—"

"Maybe by rudely bypassing my security—"

"—I can barely believe it myself," she continued, ignoring Carmilla's snide comment. She sighed as she turned to look at the vampire and her once illuminated eyes were now daggers. "Do you mind?"

"No," Carmilla answered smugly.

"A-Anyway, now that I'm here, I can finally ask her some questions we're dying to hear the answers to," girl smiled into the lens, though Carmilla could hear the slight shift in her tone. "Carmilla?"

The vampire innocently raised her eyebrows in anticipation.

"How'd you get into the music scene?"

"Same way you got into my hotel room, cutie..." she smirked scornfully. "Just kept pushing."

Laura's jaw dropped with offended anger and she looked at the camera, unsure of how to react.

"Okay, um... Moving on," she forced an awkward smile at the camera. "W-What is currently your favorite song on the radio?"

"This one's easy," the vampire smirked again and looked straight into the human's eyes. "It's called, 'I Hate Everything About You,' isn't that ironic, creampuff?"

"I-Is there anyone in mind when you listen to that song?" Laura asked, though she was sure the message was clear, despite having never listened to that song.

"No comment," Carmilla sighed, leaning up against the wall.

"So anyway... One of my subscribers wants to know: what is your favorite color?"

"Is that a joke?" Carmilla asked, gesturing to her body that was clothed head-to-toe in black.

"O-Okay, I guess that was kind of a given."

"Kind of?"

Laura ignored her and pressed on.

"Another wants to know, 'If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be and why?'"

"What kind of interview is this, Lisa?"

"It's Laura," the girl growled. The vampire chuckled, finding joy in her frustration. "And you have to answer the question."

"Oh, I have to?" Carmilla asked challengingly as she uncrossed her arms and leaned into the girl.

"Yeah," the girl retorted matter-of-factly. The vampire smiled.

"Make me."

Laura chewed the inside of her lip furiously and stared at Carmilla's cocky grin.

A little too closely, she found as she discovered just how beautiful the contrast of the singer's lipstick and pearly white teeth really was. She licked her own lips and her eyes darted to the camera, wondering just how gay that looked.

Her viewers knew she was gay. Well, bi. But they knew just how gay she could get. And as far as she was concerned, that little moment that'd just occurred between her and Carmilla was ranked very, exceedingly, tremendously, immensely, intensely, particularly, supremely...


She began to panic.

"A black panther," Carmilla remarked with a sigh, breaking Laura's distraught state. For extra measure, she growled at her. Quite impressively too. "Then I could just eat you."

"I can actually see that..." Laura laughed nervously and looked to the camera as if pleading for help. She then looked back at Carmilla with realization of her ambiguity and clarified, "The you being a panther part, not you, uh, eating me. Part."

"You can't see me eating you?" Carmilla asked softly as she scooted closer to the girl and laughed coquettishly.

"Um..." was all Laura could get out.

"Isn't there something you want to ask me?"

"What?" Laura asked with confusion.

"We're doing an interview here, princess. I promised you five minutes and we're currently at two minutes and nineteen seconds. I suggest you get a move on," the vampire told her with a teasing tone.

"Um, you promised me five to ten minutes, so we're barely twenty percent through," she retorted. "Next question."


"Many people do not like the fact that you're so open and honest; you always say exactly what's on your mind as if you do not have a filter—"

"This sounds more like a diss than a question—"

"But why is it that you choose to be so frank?"

"It's important to not let people get clouded by other people's ideologies and perceptions. Beaver may be Hollywood's 'it' boy to some people, but he's also Hollywood's 'shit' boy. Say what you mean and truth hits people like a brick. They may not like it—and they make their disdain very clear—but you never hear them talking about how wrong I am, do you?"

Laura was speechless as she found herself agreeing with the singer.

"Wow. My insight surprise you that much, princess?" Carmilla commented flatly.

"No, no. That was good," she smiled. "Um, so listen... I may or may not have promised them a live performance..."

"Oh, you sing too?" Carmilla asked, feigning surprise and cluelessness. "Can't wait to hear it."

"Uh, no. I... From you."

"Of course," Carmilla nodded. A silence settled between them and Laura glanced at her with urgency. "What?"

"Are you going to do it?"

"No," Carmilla told her casually.

"Oh come on... Please?"

"Well, when ya put it that way..." Carmilla sighed and shifted her position as if she were about to get up. "No."


"It's Carmilla," she told Laura as she got up to go fetch her drink. Laura eyed the camera as if she were on a reality show and rolled her eyes.

"Carmilla, please..."

"Do you know how many girls say that to me? Coincidence that you're on my bed too," Carmilla smirked as she took a swig.

It took Laura a moment to understand the insinuation, but once she got it, she blushed madly.

"Okay, um..."

"You know what?" Carmilla remarked as she got up again. "You're cute. Let me go find my guitar."

Laura nodded and watched the vampire begin rummaging through some stuff. She caught herself looking at her ass, her gaze practically burning through the singer's tight black leather pants. She averted her eyes just as Carmilla turned around with a guitar.

"I don't have anything prepared, you know..."

"That's okay."

"It'll just be, um, a little tune. Can't promise much," Carmilla informed her apologetically. "I'm going to improvise so... Here it goes."

The vampire focused solely on her guitar and hummed for a few seconds before closing her eyes and beginning to sing:

Light shinin' deep in your eyes,
You make me smile a thousand smiles.
But I'm a tin man with broken parts,
Too much time alone,
So many broken hearts.
Yet all I want right now
Is to dream about a sunset with you.
You say you're still searchin' for a clear sky
And I've been known to travel,
But I'll adore you as best I can
'Cause I know I could spend my whole life
Just holdin' onto your hand.
Just holdin' onto your hand...

As she held out the last note, she opened her eyes and happened to look up at Laura, immediately losing all concentration and forgetting what she'd planned for the next line. So instead, she simply strummed and eventually diminuendoed to a stop.

The human seemed to be in a trance and only came to a few seconds after the music stopped.

"I-I've never heard that one," Laura stuttered. "Is that new?"

"Improv, cupcake. Remember?" Carmilla smirked as she set her guitar down. Laura nodded as it came back to her.

"Right..." she paused. "Does it have a name?"

"No..." Carmilla responded after a hesitation. She cocked her head at the human. "Not yet. Alright, it's been six and a half minutes, so time to scoot."

"You're a real jerk, you know that?" Laura laughed, knowing Carmilla had definitely softened in the past six and however many seconds had passed.


"And that doesn't bother you?"


"Why not?"

"Because you can't care what anybody thinks about you," Carmilla responded. "That's no way to live."

Laura stared at her.

"Oh, I know!" Carmilla dramatically implicated sarcasm. "Two philosophical statements? In the past few minutes? Damn, Carmilla, you're more than just a broody face!"

"No, I'm just—"

"Surprised? You're pretty quick to pass judgement, creampuff."

"It's Laura."

"What is?"

"Never mind," she rolled her eyes and stood up. "You know, we were having a really nice moment there and now you're just killing it."

"What can I say? I'm a tin can."

"You said tin man..." Laura countered promptly before blushing as it showed just how closely she was listening. Carmilla paused and gazed at her and Laura could swear she saw a flash of an impressed countenance cross the singer's eyes for a split second.

"You're right," Carmilla nodded with amusement. "I did say tin man."

The two girls took to just looking at each other and only stopped when there were three short raps on the door. Carmilla went over and looked through the peephole before opening it to one of her security guards.

"Ms. Karnstein, a strange man just entered the hotel and he's looking for you. Do not answer the door for anyone except for any of us on the security team. Do you understand?"


"Ms. Karnstein!"

"Yeah, yeah. I understand," she told him.

"Excellent. We are searching the hotel for him right now."

Carmilla nodded before closing the door and locking it. She looked up to a panic-stricken Laura, who'd already turned the camera off and packed everything up.

"It's fine, creampuff. This shit happens all the time," Carmilla chuckled. "But I'd put your stuff down if I were you. You're not going anywhere for a while."

"What do you mean? I have to go—"

"Uh-uh. You're lucky you even got up here in the first place. But with a madman on the loose, there's no way they're letting anyone in or out. Face it, cutie. You're stuck with me."

"No, no, no. This can't be happening..." Laura murmured as she began to pace.

"Hey, I don't exactly love it either," Carmilla told her, crossing her arms.

"No, you don't understand—I have to have this uploaded tonight," Laura told her seriously. Carmilla set her hands in her hips and stared at her dully.

"Really?" she responded flatly.

"Yes. Really."

Another few seconds of hard staring from the singer.

"Fine..." she sighed, growing annoyed at herself for seeming to always cave for the girl. She'd let her get away with being in her room, let her get away with an interview—hell, she'd even given her an exclusive, improvised live performance. Why not just let her get away with one more thing while she was at it? "You can use my laptop."

"Really?" Laura asked, practically jumping up and down. Carmilla hung her head and nodded as she gestured to the computer on the table.

"Be my guest, cupcake."

"Oh my God—thank you, thank you, thank you!" Laura exclaimed, bouncing over to it.

"I'm going to put in for some room service... Is there anything you want?"

"I'm actually a pescetarian, so—"

"Hold on, a pez-shooter what now?" Carmilla asked.


"Salad for you then... I hate seafood," Carmilla grumbled as she began to dial the room's phone. Laura's gaze lingered on her before she turned back to the laptop and began loading the video onto it.

"Nice try, Ms. Karnstein..." her bodyguard told her with a scolding tone. She hung up and sighed.

"Well, room service is a bust..." she eyed the back of the human girl sitting at her table. She smirked as she crept up behind her and set her hand on the back of her chair and leaned over her, startling Laura—and drawing out a sharp gasp—as she began to talk. "Feel like eating out?"

"Um, excuse me?" Laura asked.

"Would you like to eat out?" Carmilla repeated, with an ever so slight curve to the corners of her mouth.

"I, uh... We can't go anywhere, remember?"

"You're right, Lisa—"


"Whatever. We can't go anywhere, but our lesser known counterparts can."


"C'mon, we're sneaking out," Carmilla rolled her eyes and grabbed Laura's hand.

"Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa... There's a madman somewhere out there and you think we're going to get by him?"

"Hm... You're right. You sneak out first and I'll meet you around back."

"What? No."

"C'mon, Laura."

The amateur interviewer smiled at the correct name as she realized that Carmilla probably knew her name the entire time and only used 'Lisa' to piss her off.

But she soon regained a more serious composure and gave the singer a hard time by answering, "I don't even know you."

"You have a YouTube channel dedicated to obsessing over me. I highly doubt the verity of that statement—you probably know more about me than I know about me. It'll be less than five minutes."

"Fine..." Laura sighed. "But only because rendering takes an eternity."