Spoilers: Through season 6.
Author's Note: I am doing a parody of all of those Buffy-gets-pregnant-by- Spike *badly done* first stories - I am not saying all of them are bad ... I am just poking fun at the *bad* ones. (I AM NOT BEING SERIOUS with this story. To those that mentioned my lack of spelling abilities ... I CAN SPELL! If you don't understand the story that's because you obviously haven't been exposed to the lameness that exists in the dark corners of .net. Don't review if you don't get it. You'll save me a lot of time and aggravation. Don't call me 'two sugar-high teenagers'; haven't been a teenager in a long while - and I am doing a PARODY, for God's sake! Don't take me seriously; if you don't 'get' sarcasm, then don't read stories like this. At least don't review and show your ignorance). Hope you enjoy the parody. I don't suck. Please don't flame. Any comments or questions (like: 'What, exactly, is this word called 'sarcasm'?'), then e-mail me nekkidspike
Buffy walks into her house an thinks to herself 'I fell funny I wonder whats going on'
Dawn walks into her house also and she sees that her sister is looking really funny. She asks"Whats wrong Buffy I thought we were going to go to the movies. Can I help you in eway?"
Buffy gos to the couche and she sits down on the couch. She notices that she looks fater then normal, cause shes really skinny and stuff. So she says to dawn: "I fell fien, why don't you go to the movies with Ganice!"
Dawn says Ok and leaves.
Xander walks in and is all "Whassup Buffy how's it goin?
Buffy: "I'm good, Xander, feel kina funny though I think I might be pregnant"
Xander looks at her and faints
Buffy says "Wow, Xander, you took that better than I thout you wuld!"
All of the sudden this realy big, grose demon walks in and is al "I'm going to kill you, slayer, and your mistical baby!"
Xander gets a sword and stabes the dmon in the hed and it falls over to the ground and it lays on the grund dead.
"wow, Xand, I'm so glad that you wre around to save me your such a good freind."
They hug and Anya walks in and she gaps and she yells at Xander. "Why are you huging her! Get yer hands off of her!"
They release their hug and they are embarrassed. Xander and Anya kiss deeply and all is furgotten. Buffy smles at the sight of her friends and think about spyke.
All the sudden Giles walks in and says that he herd about her pregnancie and that he is here to reserch it an help and Buffy says okay and they hug an Dawn walks in.
I'm here to help reserch about yer baby," she says, and Buffy stares at her incredibly.
"Yer two young to reserch, your'e only 14," she says.
Dawn slasp Buffy but then breaks down hugging her sister.
"I'm 15, not 14, but that's okay I mean your going through a lot so I can't expect you to no everything."
Suddenly spike walks in and Buffy hugs him and is all "I luv you Spike I'm having your baby" and Xander faints again. Willow goes over to him and tries to get him up again.
Spike luks at buffy and he stares at her and says "buffy what's goig on?"
Buffy releases him from her grap and she says "what do you men?"
"buffy you look funny you are glowing what's up!"
Buffy shrugs and she smiles and Xander is still on the flor like a lil girl.
"I dunno but I am havin yer baby and I luv you and I want to kiss you now?'
She goes to kis him butt he baks up and stops her.
"what how why huh I don't understand why are you having my baby?"
She growns and starts to sob ludly and tara goes to confort her.
"You don't love me you don't love? me you don't."
"tara, what do you think bout this."
tara shrugs and keeps hugging buffy who's crying.
Spik looks at buffy who is big and fat and pregnant.
He says "oh you are so beautiful and pregant I think we will have twins and he smiles
Xaner goes up to spike and punches him in the fec and he falls and buffy punches xander and he falls down too and spike laughs. Giles goes up to spike and helps him up and says "I give you an buffy my blessings and you should get marred, I think."
Buffy hugs spike "what do you think"
They go and get married a wek later in las vegas in the daytime because spike is now human and angel cums to the ceremonie and he give his blessing like giles and they are happy.
Buffy has two babies like spuke sais and they have a girl name 'Horrible Story' an a boy name 'I am so deeply, deeply, sorry for this travesty of fanfiction work'. Duwn becomes ther aunt and she love s them and anya and xander get married and tara nad willow do two.
But only in the few states that alow it.
And they all lived crappily ever after.