I don't own Fairy Tail, I simply enjoy deflating egos, and making Wendy a master story teller.
Ok, so the dialogue and stuff is a little different, OOCness awaits I'm sure, and I am adding in my own hilarious head cannon so yeah… Onto the crack. (That sentence sounds REALLY bad… XD)
Embarrassing stories by Wendy
Wendy sat down on the ground crying. "Why…? Why does everyone always have to leave me…? First Grandeeney, and then Jellal… and now Master is gone too…" Wendy didn't notice the steps of two people behind her until there was a hand on each shoulder. She finally stopped crying most of the way and looked at the two people, she turned her head to the right first, and saw Erza, and then she turned her head to the left and found Natsu… After a moment of staring at him she seemed to cheer up, and her cheer continued to climb as she stared longer and old memories of when she was still with her foster mother resurfaced.
Suddenly Wendy burst out laughing.
"Huh? Is there something on my face?" Natsu asked, when Wendy kept laughing he turned to Erza. "Erza, is there?"
"Wendy, are you alright…?" Erza asked, ignoring Natsu's question and keeping the girl upright as she turned red from lack of oxygen and nearly fell over in her bout of giggles.
"Uh, are you sure that she should be breathing so little...? She does 'eat air'…" Grey said, as him and the others gathered closer.
"O-o-oh! I-I'm s-sorry!" Wendy gasped out, slowly regaining her composure as she calmed herself. Finally after another few seconds of her laughing she finally calmed down and only let out a few chuckles whenever she saw Natsu… Which considering he was very near to her sight line was pretty often. "Oh, I'm s-so sorry... I'll tell you in a while… S-sorry, I don't think I could get through the entire story right now…"
Erza sighed, but let the matter drop for the time being. "Wendy… Would you like to join Fairy Tail?"
Two days later at the guild…
Natsu, Erza, Lucy, Grey, Wendy, Happy and Carla were sitting at a table together, while Happy was attempting to steal Carla's heart. Wendy was once again beginning to giggle, except this time it was whenever she looked at either Natsu or Gajeel.
"So… Wendy, what was it that made you laugh so much a couple days ago?"
She took a moment to get herself under control before she got into the story.
"Well, it was about seven and a half years ago. Natsu you probably remember what I'm talking about, right?"
"W-wait a second… You weren't seriously old enough to remember that…? You were like the youngest there…"
"I happen to have extremely good memory." She said in a matter-of-factly tone.
"What are you two talking about?" Lucy asked.
"Well, the dragons had to meet periodically, there are a lot so I would assume they met to talk about important subjects that us kids weren't allowed to hear about… Or just to get away from parenting… I heard the Earth dragon complaining about having to raise a teenager more than a few times."
"The earth dragon slayer… That was… Her wasn't it…?"
"Yep," Wendy confirmed, "Anyways, usually us dragon slayers would be left to roam free and do whatever we wanted for a couple days. I actually think most of them ignored us for most of those times… Anyways, this means we've all met at some point even if it was never official. So, some of the older girls had managed to procure-" She was stopped as a hand was slid over her mouth, and she turned her gaze behind her to see Gajeel.
"And this is where your tale ends Raindrop."
"Mmmph-rmph, mmugh," She bit him, "I'm the sky dragon slayer, not the water dragon slayer. And they asked, I don't see why you have to be so embarrassed about it. It was years ago, and besides its funny!"
"W-Wendy… I agree with Gajeel, seriously don't say anymore; please Igneel already spent months reminding me of it."
"Now we really have to know!" Happy said, "What happened, tell us Wendy!"
"It's not that bad." Wendy said, shrugging before she continued the tale, Gajeel and Natsu stayed and listened hoping she didn't catch the most embarrassing parts of that dragon gathering. "Where was I…? Oh yeah, some of the older girls managed to sneak into some towns, and they got a bunch of stuff, dresses and makeup and stuff like that. But after the first day they got bored. I was really young so I stayed near Grandeeney, or when I wasn't allowed to hear the conversation the dragons were having, I would go and take a nap somewhere or something. However I saw a lot of what happened because the other girls took me with them."
Wendy sat near the group of other girls, nestled in the roots of a tree. She was just getting ready to take a nap after doing her assigned exercises when the nearby Dragon Slayers began to talk to one another. She usually would have ignored them and just taken her nap, but she was beginning to get bored after three days of being left to do what she wanted for all except an hour of the day - which was used for her exercises - Wendy was beginning to feel a little lonely. Usually Grandeeney would wrap her in her large tail and Wendy would sleep through most of the dragon meetings.
This time however was different; Grandeeney had spent half of the first day encouraging her to go on her own, at least out of hearing range of the meetings and was telling her to make friends. This of course wasn't something Wendy was used to, she'd never been pushed away to go on her own like this and it was a scary new experience for her. So now as she sat in the tree roots she decided to entertain herself by listening in on the others.
"You know what we should do with all this extra stuff?" One of them asked. Wendy thought she might have recognized her as the Earth Dragon Slayer, she was at least fourteen. If Wendy was recalling correctly her name was Tabitha, or something close to it.
Another one - a girl who only looked to be about ten seemed to get her idea as the two slayers stole glances at the small groups of boys. "Those boys are all getting awfully annoying..."
Tabitha nodded, "Yeah especially the oldest one, he's been hiding from me and giving me weird looks ever since my dad had a talk with him."
"I think the blonde one over there would look good in pink." Another girl said.
"Yeah, and the Water slayer, let's put him in this aquamarine one here," A small mousy looking girl said. She really acted far different from what one would originally assume from her appearance; she was holding up an aquamarine dress with light blue mesh like fabric covering the skirt, it was sleeveless and short – probably only long enough to go to the knees.
Another girl a blonde one with a devilish smirk lifted a black dress with lots of sparkles, ruffles, and a beautiful white belt with rhinestones around it. "Let's put this on salmon head over there." She said.
"No I think we should do this one, orange and light pastel pink I think would go well." Another one said, holding up a suspiciously pink and orange dress with a large amount of lovely flowers and two bracelets also made of flowers.
"Yeah, and that older kid, what was it, something Redfox…? Yeah, anyways, with the black hair, let's put him in this." Tabitha said holding up a rather shiny and beautiful silver dress with a sash.
Wendy watched and listened with interest as they discussed fashion styles that would work for each one. She thought it would be cool to see all the boys become pretty like girls…
Tabitha and the other girls finally finished discussing the dresses, shoes, makeup and accessories they planned to put on each of the boys and finally having finished making teams specifically assigned to a small group of vicit- targets, they were all set to surprise them with their plan. Except the boys were all gone. Every single one had left the clearing and they were sure they had gone and hidden around the forest in an attempt to avoid them.
Tabitha looked around and noticed that the young girl from earlier had long since fallen asleep. She decided to see if she wanted to come and gently shook the little girl.
Wendy stirred briefly, and blinked her eyes open. "Y-yes…?"
"Do you want to come with us?"
"Into the forest? We're going to make the boys pretty; you can stay with me."
Wendy took a moment to debate the option she had never really gone anywhere without Grandeeney, but she decided it would at least be safer with the others than on her own. Wendy nodded, and Tabitha let her get onto her back. The girls listened closely to see where some of the boys were. Finally she heard the rustling of a bush nearby as someone began to run away.
"Found one! To the east!"
As Natsu ran away from the scary girls at high speed he kept thinking to himself in despair. Why, why did I have to stay behind to scout them out?! Suddenly Natsu was tripped and found that a piece of earth had risen up in front of his foot. When he finally stopped tumbling and his back crashed into a tree he found himself staring up at the upside down demons known… As female dragon slayers… He couldn't help his girlish screams as he was dragged into the underbrush, stripped to his boxers and then shoved into a pink flowery dress and covered in strange sparkly metal... If only it was iron he could get Metalicana's kid to eat it off him, then he could be free of the heavy thing, but he was being held in place and was partially bound once they had him in the dress which meant he couldn't undo the sparkles; not that he was sure he could undo the sparkles even if he could use his hands, he had never encountered anything like it before.
Natsu finally remembered something he'd been taught. He remembered when the boys had been left with the female dragons and the girls with the males for a week of group lessons on things that were easier for the respective gender to explain. During this time the boys had been subjected to listening about the woman's world, including the sparkly things which if he remembered right was called jewelry.
He shouted at the top of his lungs hoping some pitying friend of his would show up and save him from the horrors in front of him. However there was another yell and it came from one of the very friends he had hoped would save him. He was a blonde haired blue eyes boy with a shy face. He was a couple years younger than Natsu and was the son of the Sand dragon.
"Ricky, what happened?"
He looked near crying but the fact that Natsu – who was basically his older brother – was there seemed to stop him. He looked up and was about to answer when he too was dragged into underbrush, and Natsu could only stare at the rustling bushes and hear the yells as Ricky too was presumably stripped down and put into a dress and jewelry. When they dragged him back out he was half comatose and had a bump on his head. However the girls unfortunately weren't done. By no means were they done, they proceeded to put make up on the two boys clad in pink and them managed to shove them in girly two inch heels.
Another boy with white hair was thrown into the tiny clearing of bushes beside them and then as the two before him was dragged into the underbrush and changed amidst much rustling, yelling, screaming (Girly screaming – even if they would never admit it), and a lot of work the boy in a light purple ball gown and weighed down by bracelets and a large purple necklace – was promptly dropped onto the ground beside them and his face was covered in make-up while – still struggling – he was forced into shoes. The girls that had split off before came back with their next three victims, and the victims continued to pile up until finally only two of the male dragon slayers hadn't been caught and those two were the eldest of them all at fifteen and seventeen, therefore making them nearly impossible to find and catch – especially since one of them was the Forest Dragon slayer – which meant he was in his territory and had a large abundance of trees to refuel whereas most of the others were totally out of their elements – or in Tabitha's case would be totally on their own fighting.
The group of female dragon slayers stood and took a good look at their work. Finally Tabitha grinned.
"Lets go and show them to our parents!" She said happily.
"Over my dead body!"
"I'll die first!"
There were many more such outbursts as the boys seemed to think this was a bad idea. Tabitha took Wendy and gave her a few directions allowing the little girl to go do her job as she wandered away from her comfy tuft of grass.
"Come on. Let's go show them!" She said happily as she took None other than Natsu's forearm and led him along while the others were behind them getting about the same treatment, but far more reluctantly. Natsu of course couldn't fight the blue haired girl, she was at least four years younger than him and he wasn't about to make her cry. Especially since he would get in serious trouble with her mother and he was sure no one would do squat to help him-
"No more… I can't take anymore…" Natsu muttered, his and Gajeel's faces had turned suspicious shades of pink, then red, then strange shades of blue as they seemed to stop breathing in the midst of their embarrassment. Natsu had a hand over her mouth as he nearly looked like he was motion sick but wasn't actually sick to his stomach.
The entire guild hall had been filled with laughter through the story as they figured out who exactly was who and everyone listened into the story. It was beyond hilarious to imagine their two tough dragon slayers being forced into girl clothing and covered in makeup… A few were shooting the two sympathetic looks but for the most part there were red faces all around.
"…I'm gonna be sick if I have to remember that again… Metalicana brought that up mercilessly…"
"I still don't get why it's so bad…" Wendy said her chuckling slowly turning into laughter.
From that day on Wendy, and occasionally Natsu, and if coaxed enough Gajeel, became Fairy Tail's favorite story tellers, because they had all sorts of stories from when they were with the dragons, it turned out they should have asked before since a fair amount of the stories left half of the guild gasping for air, and the rest of them a bit better of passed out of air deprivation.
Alright! What did you guys think? I think this is hilarious, I seriously had issues writing more than about a sentence without bursting out laughing, and just WOW…. Yeah, Natsu and Gajeel are attempting to kill me now. Luckily I am planning to leave the island in my head and find an island… With a bunker, and a submarine for a hasty escape…. Yep…
Anyways, would you guys like some more stories like these? I have a few thought up in my head that I may put in here as separate chapters, but I may not. I can't be sure yet.