First of all, hi!

This is my first attempt at fanfiction but I have been reading for a while now. I hope you like it but if you don't let me know so I can put it down. I need a beta that will edit my mistakes because I am not great at writing. My life is hectic right now so I don't know how consistent the updates will be but hopefully I can find a beta that will push me not only to update in a timely fashion but helps me improve in a way that I can create a really good story out of this idea that won't stop bothering me. Thanks in advance!

I don't feel well.


I think I'm going to be sick.

I can see the concern in his eyes. I can see that he is saying something but I can't hear him.

I can't breathe.

I can feel him embracing me, I remember feeling safe in his arms so I try to focus on my breathing.

Breathe, focus!

Sound is coming back to me, his words are jumbled up but with the look in his eyes I understand what he is saying.

My legs move without me telling them to.

I am going to puke!

I feel his hands massaging my scalp as I throw up, I sense he is trying to comfort me by humming but it isn't working, not like it used to anyway. I remember his voice has always soothed me, always made me feel lighter, why isn't it working now?

I can feel my skin tingling and the hairs in the back of my neck standing up. I know this feeling too well so I prepare myself for the pain that will come next.

My bones start cracking, expanding and retracting.

I look at my hands and see their shape changing and I hear myself scream rather than feel it, that's the part where my spine forces me down into all fours.

I can feel my fur coming out of my skin, giving me a particular itch that I can't fucking scratch.

I sense him tense up, even though he knows I would never hurt him, that I am still me in this form, he is still intimidated and I love him for still sticking around, for loving me so much that even if he is scared he will continue to hum to and stroke my head to try and calm me down.

I wish I could talk to him, tell him that I feel better in this form and that I need to talk to my father about what just happened, but I can't so I just nudge him a little with my nose and run out of the house.

I call for my father, which sounds a lot like a howl, and I continue running to our pack's meeting ground.

After a few moments, I hear him call back and I know he'll be there in a few minutes.

Good thing about being of the same kind is that we can communicate in either form, be it human or wolf, it works exactly like our minds do.

"Dad!" as soon as I see him I run to him.

"What's wrong baby girl?" I can feel his concern radiating from him.

I show him what happened and I can feel some sort of hesitance from him that I've never felt before, he was trying to hide something from me which is weird since we are completely honest with each other.

"Dad, what is it?"

He huffs and I can feel his hesitance increasing.

"Baby girl, you are not going to like this" he shakes his head.

"Let's go home at talk about it with Daddy" he says as he starts sprinting in the direction of our home.

As soon as I get home, I go to my room to change into some clothes and Dad goes to do the same and when I come back downstairs they are both there waiting with a glass of water.

So this is going to be really bad news.

"Honey, your dad told me what happened, are you feeling better?" Daddy my purely human father asks me, you can probably tell which one is my biological one.

"Yes Daddy after I turned I felt better" he holds my hand as I reach for my glass of water and gives me a (what he probably thinks is) reassuring squeeze.

"Ok sweetie, there is no point in delaying this, you are going to hurt no matter how I say it so he it goes" he takes a deep breath, holds it for a bit and then exhales loudly. "You just saw your mate" he says it and cringes waiting for the fallout of his words.

All feeling in my body left, my world stopped and I feel like I am going to be sick all over again.

"It can't be!" I shake my head fervently.

"You're wrong Dad" I am starting to hyperventilate.

"I'm sorry baby girl, but you just found your mate sweetie, you remember what this means right?" he squeezes my shoulder and shakes me a little so I can look in his eyes.

"But what about Lucas?!" I am already pacing the whole kitchen.

"I am sorry honey, you guys can never be with your mate out there" Daddy says embracing me and trying to stop my pacing. "I know how you feel baby"

"Baby girl, you know what happens now right?"

"I have to go find my mate now" I sigh.

"Rachel, honey, if you don't do this you are going to continue to feel sick, and you will get sick really fast, baby you will die if you don't go" Daddy says with his eyes full of tears.

"But dads I love Lucas, I can't just finish it with him" I restart my pacing.

"Your love for him will not compare to what you will feel for your mate, and soon and I suspect already, you will start feeling a change on your feelings for him. You will just have the memory of your love for him and not the actual feeling".

I look at him terrified, I can't imagine myself not loving him.

"We need to start searching for your mate first thing tomorrow before you start feeling the effects". Dad has his serious, nothing but business face on.

"No! I refuse to just drop everything I love because of my fucking heritage" I all but shout.

"Rachel Barbara Berry you will not speak to us that way!" Dad growls.

"Did you notice where the commercial was from?" Daddy asks trying to ease the sudden tension.

"Lima. Ohio" I say every word with every bit of resentment that I feel.