Hello! Okay so this includes many things that I should warn you about.
Fem!Tsuna
Blood/gory thoughts that may sometimes get disturbing. Not much in this chapter though..
Addiction
Self harm
Cussing
Alcoholism
Adult arcobaleno
Kinda sorta an AU
Totally not going to be exact cannon but u might see some in here
This will most likely be an all27 fic,
But i do know their will be a lot of family bonding also.
btw this is pretty much an AU story!
Tsuna knew she was sick
She knew that no normal girl had these thoughts. What type of person thinks of these type of things? Tsuna, who was so used to these thoughts, even scared herself sometimes from how extreme they could be.
Who thinks of Killing themselves as a normal thing everyday? Who thinks of bathing themselves in their own blood? Who does these things? What type of person imagines mutilating her own body? Why can't she stop.
Tsuna sighed and rolled to her side. She stared at the plain white wall in front of her before sitting up.
It was another sleepless night. Sleep seemed to only come from pills these days. Unfortunately though, she ran out a few days ago. When she doesn't take them she usually either reads the whole night stays in her bed tossing and turning, maybe getting an hour of sleep before waking up. The guy she usually got them from was out too, so she was screwed till he got his prescription. Tsuna hated going to the docter so she was never diagnosed with insomnia. Her mother didn't even know she thinks. The slight bags under her eyes where barely visible but they where still there...maybe her mother just thought she was staying up late.
Tsuna sat up and tried to ran her hand through her brown long hair. It was had a few knots in it walering around all night. She wrinkled her nose. It was such a pain to brush.
Sitting up she pushed herself from the bed and glanced at her dresser. Eying the pack of cigarettes and lighter that where laying next to her lamp, she moved to grab one. Lighting one up she gave it a few puffs before flicking the ashes off in an orange little ashtray.
Ah~
Nothing like a good cigarette in the morning.
She went ahead and headed towards her bathroom to go ahead and get ready for school. School. She hated school. It was annoying, and no cigarettes where allowed on the property. She never smoked in front of people she didn't know. So she never smoked in public places.
After undressing, Tsuna looked at her reflection and scoffed at her slightly haggard look. Big brown doe-like eye's stared back at her. Though her hair looked a mess, her soft delicate features made her still look cute.
Though as her eyes traveled down she stared at her skinny body. She looked quite a bit underweight, but still had muscle mass. She could pack a punch if she wanted.
But the thing that made her look away from the mirror where the numerous scars that appeared beneath her cloths. Some where short, some where long, some where wide, and some where thin. Some where self-inflicted, others where not.
She turned sideways with a frown on her face as she tried to get a glimpse of the scars on her back. They where just as bad as the front. But in the upper right side of her back was a big scar that looked like someone had stabbed her. Well the idiot caught her off guard. She sighed and pushed back the memory.
Dressing herself in new cloths, she looked at her cigarette that had almost burned itself up and decided to just stub it out. She was annoyed at the loss of a perfectly good cigarette and pouted as she headed down stairs. As she entered the kitchen her mother turned from the stove and smiled at her daughter.
"Ah! Tsuna, would you like some breakfast?" Nana wiped her hands on her pink apron and went to grab another plate to put the food on.
"Nah, I don't want any, I was planning on grabbing an apple on the way out." Nana frowned at her daughters lack of appetite. Her daughter rarely seemed to eat anymore. Maybe she was on a new diet?
"Well alright then, but make sure to grab your bento on the way out alright?" Tsuna smiled slightly at her and nodded. She was going to leave the kitchen when her mother spoke again.
"Oh, don't forget to brush your hair! And try to spray on some perfume to get rid of the smell of smoke~" Tsuna was thankful her mother reminded her. When she was looking in the mirror at her body, she guessed it distracted her from the messy hair..
She nodded and thanked her mother before she ran up the stairs almost tripping. Quickly finishing, she checked the time hoping she had time to at least smoke half a one before she left. She did. So she lit one up and headed down stairs.
Her mother entered the living room where she was sitting on the couch. "Tsuna dear, here's an apple~ I know you wont eat anything else really so you better at least eat this before you leave." Nana stood in front of Tsuna with one hand on her hip and the other holding out the shiny red apple. With a stern look she watched as her daughter looked at cigarette before looking at the fruit with a blank look.
"But..." Tsuna started, but her mothers face made her stay silent. So she quickly put out the cigarette and grabbed the fruit. Finishing it rather quickly, she started to leave since she didn't have time to light up another stick.
"OH! Tsuna, I put a bottle of my perfume by the door so you can get rid of the smokey smell!" Nana's voice called out from the kitchen. Tsuna called out a thanks to her mother before spraying herself with the strawberry scented perfume. Ah~ it smelt good!
Walking away from the house Tsuna's smile had slipped from her face. She always seemed to lose her happy mode when she left the presence of her mother. She always got dark thoughts when she didn't have anyone to keep her mind busy. That's another reason she needs those damn sleeping pills. Why would she want to be up all night alone with her thoughts? That's why she brought her trusty old earphones. They would keep her mind focused on music.
Pulling them out of her bag she plugged them in to her iPod and turned the volume up. She sang in her head for awhile but she got bored and let her finger trail on the rocky wall next to her. The wall was quite long.
When she let her finger trail along it she noticed her finger start to hurt from the rough texture of the rock and when she looked at her finger, it was red and slightly scratched.
Slowing down her pace, she lifted her hand and pressed it hard against the rough rocky wall next to her. She let a strange small smile take over her face as she dragged her hand along the rough wall. She felt the stinging in her hand and it hurt. Badly. Her hand had turned red and had scratches all over her palm. A couple of the scratches had even started to bleed.
Tsuna let her hand fall limply to her side when the wall ended. Feeling a frown on her face, she continued walking with a slightly disappointed face. She winced. Her hand stung. People would most likely think she just had a bad fall and that's the hand she caught herself with.
Oh how she wished the wall was longer...
Okay, so I know I'm a sucky writer and stuff...but please give me constructive criticism! If you see any mistakes, please point them out!
BTW not much happened this chapter, I know, but please bear with me...
IMPORTANT
PLEASE READ BELOW IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THE OTHER CHAPS B4 I DELETED THEM.
OKAY So I totally deleted the second and third chapter and completely rewrote the first one. I am very displeased with the last three and I'm just writing as I go. So anyone who actually liked the other one better, feel free to gripe.