Hey guys! So I was asked by a close friend to make a sort of drabble fic for all kinds of Hobbit pairings. I will take any request for any one-shots you guys might want, but I'll only take requests by PMs.

Prompt: Bard brings dwarves to his home and there they meet his hobbit wife Belle. She heals Kili with Hobbit magic or whatever, but they still release Smaug onto Esgaroth and Bard wants both what was owed and revenge for his wife/ or a nice ending where Belle can live. (I'll just do both endings for any that may have a choice between good or bad.)

Celtic is used for the Hobbit language.

Paring: Bard of Esgaroth/Female!Bilbo Baggins

Rating: K+

The Hobbit belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.


Bard shuffled each barrel onto his barge as quickly as he could, wanting nothing more than to leave these rugged dwarves by them selves and return to his home after a long days work. The elves of Mirkwood would not be pleased if they found that he smuggled the people who used their barrels, and judging by the nicks and holes on the outside they were at some point apprehended. The white dwarf was trying to make nice with him, despite the bargeman discreetly but firmly try to get his point across.

"How many bairns?"

If he was caught with them on the barge then where would his family get the money to eat?

"A boy and two girls with one on the way."

There was no way he could risk taking them.

"And you wife I imagine is a beauty?"

Bard looked down on the white haired dwarf and smiled as he thought of the beautiful lass he had waiting for him at home. "Aye, makes the best soup any could taste," he responded as he readied his barge to leave. She was probably had the children doing their daily chores while she took the majority of it herself, though she could hardly reach anything that was as tall as his youngest daughter. As well as her stomach getting in the way when she was trying to get something, he smiled to himself as he thought of her childish pouts when he would go over her to retrieve it for the lass.

"Enough o' the niceties already," one of the dwarves growled out, his tattooed scalp glistening with water, much like the rest of their company. His eyebrows raised as he slid the last on into place.

"Whats your hurry?" It was quickly met with a 'Whats it to ye?"

"I would like to know who you are," a simple demand in his opinion. He leaned on a post that fenced of the small dock as he listened to the elderly dwarf explain. Dwarves from the Blue Mountains was likely, the fact they were headed to the Ironhills as merchants was not. "Simple merchants you say?" he doubted that seriously.

"We need food and weapons. Can you help us?" he turned his back on dwarf, who he deducted, lead the company. He really wanted to but family came first, after all he did have hungry mouths to feed.

"I now where these barrels came from. I don't know what business you had with the elves, but I don't think it ended well. No one enters Laketown but by leave of the Master, all his wealth comes from trade with the Woodland Realm. He would see you in irons before risking the wrath of King Thranduil," he explained. Bard gathered the rope that once held his boat to the wood of the dock and when he picked up his bows and arrows he heard them grumble to one another.

"I'll wager there are ways to enter that town unseen."

Bard was quite aware of that and informed them they would need a smuggler, he was about to refuse until he heard, "For which we'll pay double." He looked hard at the dwarf and thought it over in his head, was it worth it? Risking his own freedom by smuggling them in? What of his wife and children? "What if it goes wrong? Hmm? What about the consequences that don't affect your group? Who will provide for my family?" Bard asked as he laid the weapons he carried onto the deck.

His wife was a selfless creature, she would have his head if he told her of this and didn't help them. He made up his mind and turned to the little people, "Payment required when we arrive. My wife would maim me if she found out I refused to help those in need." And she would, in fact she already had when he was unable to give a coin of gold to a starving woman who begged for his hard earned money. It was a mistake he never again made, and after he became the people of Esgaroth's champion and helped all he could.

The relief the dwarves had was palpable as they boarded his vessel, and he saw as one of the youngest limped on with help of a blonde haired dwarf. No doubt his wife would fuss over him relentlessly, and with a sigh he readied the barge before pushing off.

~.~.~.

"Da? Why are there dwarves climbing out of our toilet?" Poor Sigrid was gripping the railing as she watched one of them slap her brother's hand away after he offered them help. Bain was pressed against the wall as dwarf after dwarf climbed out and then they heard the footsteps of their mother, and paled considerably. The siblings looked at each other and prepared themselves for her fussings and anger, she hated not being the absolute perfect host. And in her given state it only made her 'nesting' as she called it worse.

"BARD! Where have you been?! And why haven't I been informed of the guests before hand?" the dwarves looked to the tiny woman who held her arms crossed on her protruding stomach. They watched as the bargeman tried to explain but was silenced when she took him by the ear and dragged him inside. Tilda looked down to Bain and said, "I bet my desert that Da will sleep in the barge tonight." The boy grinned and nodded, there was no doubt in his mind that their father could come up with an excuse.

They could hear little tidbits of the one-sided conversation and felt bad for Bard, he risked his family for them and gets ripped to shreds by his wife. The woman was ranting about how worried she was, and that their house was being watched and all were surprised when they heard her bust into tears. Only to hear the soothing of her husband, Tilda now looked to the dwarves and smiled brightly. "Will they bring us luck?" she asked and caused one or two of them to smile in return.

They heard the door open again and looked to the strange woman, she was as short as them with curly long hair and pointed ears with feet bigger than their own that was covered with fuzz. Her face blotchy as she ushered them in and Bard was sitting at the head of a small table with a warm cup of tea in his hands. They were bombarded with the smell of fresh bread and a small cake, as well as herbs that hung here and there to give some scent to the house. "Its a pleasure to meet you all, my name is Belle. I am so terribly sorry that you didn't get a proper welcome. Do come in there is a nice fire going," she rushed off to get some towels and blankets for the soaking dwarves.

Bain and Tilda went about their business, which was pester the dwarves, as Sigrid sat at the table with Bard. "May we introduce ourselves as well, I am Balin, son of Fundin. This is the leader of our company Thorin Oakenshield and his heirs Fili and Kili, sons of Dis," Balin nudged a silver haired dwarf to do the same. Bard listened as the names where told: Dori, Nori, Ori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Gloin, and Oin. They seemed like a rambunctious bunch when they dried, and he stiffened when Fili asked if he could feel Belle's stomach.

She was visibly touched as he complimented on how strong the kicks were, then something caught her eyes. One of the younger dwarves were gripping their legs in pain, she made a b line for him. Her fingers gentle where he clutched at his pants she examined the wound and grew grim, "Bard, please get the kingsfoil as well as some alcohol." Belle smiled as Kili looked at her in surprise, "Don't think I don't know."

"Sigrid? Some scissors and my sewing needle if you would and please get Bain and Tilda to their rooms?"

She gave him a pleading look and mouthed a sorry before gripping the broken shaft of the arrow and yanking it out in one swift movement, Kili let out a yell and was held down by Bifur and Nori before he could do anything. Blood was gushing out his wound and alcohol was pressed into her hands and kingsfoil was set in front of her, Belle wasted no time and poured the stinging liquid into the wound that made him struggle more. Thorin held Kili's head in his lap and murmured for him to be strong.

Belle rubbed the herb in her hands until is was paste like and smeared it into the wound, "Só leigheas an pyre, fág an pian.

O Yavanna chaomhnóir an Shire, tá sé gach rud a fháil.

A leigheas air anois, glaonna do leanbh.

Tabhair ar iasacht dúinn cumhacht ag do bogha, nó a dtagann a anam." Bard smiled as he heard his wife's singing, it brought him warmth to hear it. He had been the recipient of this power more than once, not mentioning the time he got two fish hooks stuck in his thumb. The bleeding may have stopped but she not had to stitch the wound together. Sigrid stood by in case her mother needed anything, the human smiled as the hobbit wrapped the area with a towel and tied it securely.

After Kili had been rested Belle had cooked a good rabbit stew and distributed it as evenly as she could, Bard laughed as she blushed under the dwarves' hearty compliments. His little hobbit wife grinned as they laughed and talked among the others, he could only smile at her happiness for nothing brings her more pleasure than having company. Belle had once said that hobbits were a simple people who enjoyed good food, good company, and good pipe weed. Though he forbade her pipe weed when they found she was pregnant.

At desert Tilda grudgingly gives Bain her slice of cake and smiled happily when he gave it back, they shared a smile which turned sour when Bain told her he was always right. "Nuh uh! The dwarves brought us luck! Da brought home the rabbits so Ma could make her stew!" Bard was happy he had gotten some hunting done while near the Woodland Realm, the children just loved her soup.

"I don't mean to make things uneasy, but where are the weapons we paid for?" Thorin asked when the children were put to bed by Belle. When they weren't what the company expected Bard had left to check some tapestry and Belle was left with thirteen dwarves. The bowman kissed her briefly with a chaste murmur of love and rushed out the door. Fili and Bofur was watching over Kili when Belle fell asleep at the table, waiting for Bard to return. Dwalin picked up the Hobbit and brought her to her room and set her on the bed before leaving with the others to retrieve real weapons.

The next day they left Fili, Oin, Bofur, and Kili to storm the Lonely Mountain, and they did. Then the dragon came.

~.~.~. Bad Ending .~.~.~

"Da!" Tilda reached her father and sobbed into his singed coat, the poor girl shaking as she cried. Sigrid wailed and Bain held in his hand the ring Bard had given Belle on their wedding day. Instead of the beautiful gold there was a red tint to the metal, this couldn't be. His eyes scanned the crowds of survivors, looking everywhere for his short wife. There was no sign of the hobbit. It was all their fault, but Kili had redeemed himself when he stole the Arkenstone in effort to save everyone. Like Belle would have wanted.

He tried to talk Thorin into relinquishing the gold that was promised but grew outraged when the King Under the Mountain refused to listen. He couldn't even register the blood on the golden ring Bard wore around his neck. "Where did you get that?" Thorin asked, for he saw it on the finger of another. Bard hissed out Belle's name before turning his back on the Lonely Mountain.

Before he knew it he was at the Eleven King's side while facing the dwarves of Erebor. His rage at them was seen by all and Thranduil understood the pain he was going through. The Arkenstone held tightly in his hand and soon after the traitor was found and Kili banished, the dwarf was welcomed by Bard into the archer division he scraped up. Then he addressed the king.

"You came to us in need! We provided! Where did that get us? MY WIFE AND UNBORN CHILD ARE DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! SHE HEALED YOUR WOUNDED! YOU KILLED HER BY UNLEASHING SMAUG ON US! WHAT SAY YOU?! WILL YOU HAVE PEACE OR WAR!?" Bard screamed in agony at them, but Thorin was too far gone. The others paled when they heard of the hobbit's fate, Gloin and Bombur where horrified. They both had wives and couldn't even think of the pain that they could feel if they were gone, but an innocent child was gone as well.

Their fates were sealed when Thorin snarled out, "War."

Bard was happy to be present at Thorin's funeral, while Fili was more open minded and gave what was owed he still had trouble handing the gold over. Kili refused to go back to the mountain, where he would be remembered as a traitor even if Fili released him of his banishment.

At night when he was supposed to be sleeping, Bard mourned his wife. Belle smiled on from her ever silent vigil with a lovely daughter in her arms though she could never be seen by him. "That's your Da Belladonna, he would have loved you so much," Belle would have to wait in Yavanna's Fields until she could see Bard again, but that wouldn't be for a long time.

She was patient, she could wait.

~.~.~. Good Ending .~.~.~

"Bain! BAIN NO!" Belle tried to stop him from leaving the boat, she honestly tried but there was nothing the hobbit could do and they couldn't turn. Tilda and Sigrid cried out their brother's name as he ran deeper into the fires. Sigrid held her mother as she cried into her shoulder, she let her boy go. Why wasn't she fast enough?

"Don't worry Ma, he find Da. I'm sure of it," even as Sigrid told her this she could hardly believe herself.

They reached shore in the wee hours of the morning and Belle was hefted out of the boat by the elf, Tauriel, and settled on her feet. Everyone was running around a making it harder to find Bain or Bard. Tilda grabbed Belle's apron and Sigrid's hand, she didn't want to get lost here. "DA!" they yelled as they pushed through the crowds, Alfrid bumped into the pregnant hobbit with a snarl and knocked her clean to the floor, she landed on her back in pain. It shot up her spine and her abdomen, for when Sigrid helped her up a gush of water fell down her legs.

"BARD!" she looked up to see people crowding her husband, praising the dragon slayer. Tilda ran into the throng to get her father while Sigrid directed them to a nice dry area. She was livid at the fact Alfrid pushed her Ma to try and steal her Da's praise, but it seemed that both Bard and Bain where taking care of him.

"Is she alright?" Sigrid turned to see Tauriel and a new elf standing there, both had their brows furrowed with worry. Belle was trying to breathe while she rubbed circle on her stomach.

"My lord, please find some towels and fresh water," Tauriel instructed, but when he stood there looking dazed she snapped at him. The two women threw up a little dilapidated tent as best as they could. Belle was having contractions every half hour and that number increased as time went on, Bard come back as the sun began to set. Tilda and Bain were curled up by a fire outside where water was warming, he reassured her that everything will be fine but he had to direct the people to Dale.

Even in labour she demanded he got as many as possible to the ruined city, Bain and Tilda included. Tauriel mopped at her forehead as the hobbit sweated, the man gave his wife one last kiss before heading off. Many hours later the hobbit introduced a baby boy into the world and christened him Girion, it would be then Tauriel and the Elven Prince Legolas escorted the mother and children to Dale. The moon was still high in the sky as they entered the city, Sigrid with Girion and Legolas holding a sleeping Belle.

The child was a beauty, pointed ears like his mother and dark wavy hair like his Da his feet were small by hobbit standards while large in the ways of Man. They passed a sleeping Alfrid and were first seen by Bain before Bard and Tilda, the siblings cooed over their brother while Bard took his wife from the prince. She was pale and lighter but no less beautiful, "Thank you friends." Though when he looked up to find the elves, they were gone.

The next morning he was caring for Girion when he was greeted with an army of elves staring at him and his strange babe. He passed through them until he reached the gate, his little son cooing at everything he saw. A giant deer being one of them. Supplies were brought in from the Woodland Realm when none were requested although greatly needed. The elf king softened at the sight of the father and child but still had to bring him to battle.

Life was brought into the world a day before death struck.

Bard and is family prevailed with an extreme amount of luck, since Thranduil had saved both Belle and Girion from being eaten by orcs. After it was all said and done the bargeman settled in for the night next to his youngest son and wife. "Thank you for being in my life Belle," he whispered against her forehead.

"Thank you for visiting the Shire, if it weren't for you I'd be worrying about doilies and my mother's plates." They drifted off into sleep only to be awoken an hour later by Girion's cries. So begins their lives as parents, and later grandparents. Bard would later maim the elf prince who stole his Sigrid's heart, but for now he would rest.

~.~.~.Translations.~.~.~

Heal this pyre, leave the pain.

O Yavanna guardian of the Shire, he has everything to gain.

To heal him now, your child calls.

Please lend us power at your bow, or his soul falls.


First one of many I hope. I rushed it at the end due to the date, but I think its good. Remember if you want a specific prompt or pairing then PM me the details and I'll get on it.

Ragehappy Mavin Fan