Today had been long. Really long. Sam and I had gone to a town in hope of an easy case only to find out with Cas' help that it was struck by Famine. The Famine. We had finally ganked the bastard but at a cost. Sam had given in the temptation of demon blood and I had a nice chat with Famine about my gaping hole where my soul was supposed to go. Now that that had been taken care of and a new ring was jingling in our pockets. Sam was getting the demon blood leftover out of his system and I was outside, not even able to swallow a sip of beer as I tried not to cry. I looked up at the sky, a million things racing through my head. Finally, my mouth settled on something. "Please." I whispered. "I can't . . ."
"Dean?" Cas' voice suddenly sounded, causing me to jerk in surprise.
"Jesus, Cas." I snapped, my throat still thick. "I'm getting you a bell tomorrow."
He ignored me, like he usually does. "Are you okay?" He tilted his head slightly.
"I'm fine." I growled, hoping he didn't notice how obviously not fine I actually was. I didn't want to spill my guts like a girl at a slumber party. I just wanted to go back to shoving my problems down and not talking about them like normal.
But apparently Cas had other ideas about how we should spend the evening. "Dean." His sad blue eyes seemed to grow sadder. "We need to talk."
All of sudden, I was very tired and walking was the very last thing I wanted to do. "About what, Cas?!" I snapped, throwing my hands up in frustration. "Are we finally going to talk about how I'm the biggest screwup in history?! How I let my brother down again?! And you?! And the world?!"
Cas frowned in confusion. "I don't know what you're talking about, Dean."
"Newsflash for you, Feathers." My insult's venom was lessened by a sob that worked its way out. "Michael's body suit that he's supposed to wear to the prom doesn't have a soul!" My sarcastic laughter was less sarcasm and more hysterical.
Cas gasped. "Dean, I'm so sorry -"
"Stuff it, Harpy." I snarled. "I don't need your apologies."
Cas' blue eyes grew more sad. "Dean, stop." He whispered, causing me to swallow in surprise. He paused before continuing as he stepped closer to me. "I promise you. I will do whatever it takes to help you." He murmured, now quite close to me.
I swallowed back a snarky comment about how we needed to work on his definition of personal space. "How?" I whispered.
He looked into my eyes with his. A long pause followed my question, making me more nervous in terms of me not having any idea of what he was going to do next. And I definitely had no idea he was going to do what he did next. He placed his incredibly soft lips, that I had totally never fantasized about while I was pleasuring myself because I knew he couldn't possibly be interested in me, on mine and put the lightest of touches behind it. When he pulled away, I simply stared at him in shock. "I don't know but I promise you that I will never leave you." He murmured.
"You leave all the time." I mumbled stupidly, my brain still stuck on how soft his lips were. They were angel soft. Wow. My brain couldn't get any more stupid.
He gave a soft chuckle. Did angels chuckle? Or even have a sense of humor? "I meant I will never abandon you."
"Oh." I licked my bottom lip and glanced at his own, part of me wanting more.
"Dean." Cas murmured and my attention snapped to his eyes. The bluest blue to ever blue. That's what they were.
"If you want another, then just tell me."
"I . . . What?"
Cas just rolled his eyes, another sign he'd been around us too much, and connected our lips again. My eyes fluttered shut as I wrapped my arms around his waist and he placed his arms around my neck. We stayed connected for a minute before he pulled away just enough so he could speak, but not enough that he was detached in any way. "That." He gave a small smirk.
"Oh." I blinked before returning the smirk. "Can I have another?"
Cas laughed softly. "Yes." He whispered before connecting our lips a third time. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.