Lesson One Never Piss Off a Puppet Master

It was close to midnight when Roko walked into Urahara's shop. He had come here after he got a message from said man concerning Ichigo and the Shinigami who had attacked him earlier and had come straight to the candy shop to help his godson.

Stepping through the door Roko was greeted to the sight of Kisuke and Yoruichi making out in front of him causing his face to go blank before sighing. Clearing his voice loudly so as to catch the other twos attention Roko felt is eye twitch as both looked at him but beyond a small wave they didn't bother to greet him and continued kissing.

"Kisuke mind doing this on your own time rather than wasting mine you told me Ichigo was injured so where is he?" Roko asked his voice carrying over his irritation at the two if his glare didn't do that already. Finally taking the hint the two separated with cheeky grins on their faces making Roko's hand drop to one of his scrolls out of instinct, he along with many others had seen those grins and knew something bad was about to happen to the one on the receiving end of said grin.

"Yes yes, Ichigo's inside and Tessei taking care of him right now along with Saso, although, we had to move him into a stuffed animal." Kisuke said his smile never leaving his face making Roko even more wary.

"So how was your fight with Soifon?" Kisuke asked making Roko freeze where he stood as he tried to figure out how they could have known who he was fighting earlier.

"No need to get stiff 'Ro-kun' I felt you getting into a fight so I came by to help out but you had it all under control right down to the end." The way Yoruichi's smirk grew to more resemble a cat that swallowed the canary only made Roko feel even more nervous. He may hate her but if there was one thing Roko never did it was underestimate people particularly when said people were known pranksters like Naruto.

"I see, and what has you all smiling so happily about that?" Roko asked as he carefully moved back towards the door out of the shop while their smiles grew again something he was sure wasn't possible yet they managed it somehow.

"Well I always make sure to keep memories of certain events and this one was just too good to pass up." Yoruichi said as she held a picture up of me kissing Soifon earlier causing my eyebrow to twitch in annoyance.

"I see is that it well I don't see why that would have you smiling like that." It was a statement not a question and they all knew it as Yoruichi has seen Soifon and him kiss on several occasion with her more often than not the one who set of the whole thing in the first place and just smirk at them.

"Really I just remembered Kisuke how far are you on that project you were working on?" The Mock question made Roko's blood turn to ice as Kisuke had a mocking puzzled expression as he looked at Yoruichi while keeping me in sight.

"Hmm which project are we talking about Yoruichi? I have several." The buildup was starting to seriously worry Roko because knowing Kisuke that statement was absolutely true meaning it could be anything from a way into hell to bug repellant.

"The one for sending small object directly into Soul Society so you could try to plant your bugs around the place." Yoruichi asked making Kisuke's eyes light up but before he could say anything he along with Yoruichi were pinned to the ground by a puppet with massive arms that took up almost the entire room.

"Firstly, I'm not in the mood for games at the moment as you both well know. Secondly, if I see that picture beyond your personal scrapbook I will turn both of you into puppets, am I clear?" Roko asked while making Torappu squeeze them harder. The puppet was one of his better ones but no masterpiece as it had seals on the hands to drain any and all power the user tries to call up and stores it in the main body of the puppet for later use.

"Ma ma Roko no need to get so serious just a harmless prank." Kisuke said as he shifted in the puppets grip to try and get more comfortable. Roko glared at him before releasing them and moving deeper into the shop to find Ichigo.

In Soul Society Gaara and Soifon were standing in front of the captain commanders desk as he read the report from both of them.

"So you failed to apprehend him and he sent you back after incapacitating Captain Soifon with another as of yet unknown poison." Soifon twitched at the incapacitating part but other than that neither reacted to the piercing gaze sent their way.

"Yes Captain Commander." They both said as he continued to stare at them some more before returning to the paperwork on his desk. He was positive there was more to it but he didn't want to pry as Gaara would tell him what Roko said while whatever happened between Soifon and Roko was none of his business as far as he was concerned. He had the unfortunate experience to say that prying into Roko's personal life more often than not ended with someone in critical condition himself included.

"Dismissed Soifon." Soifon nodded and left the room leaving only the two highest ranking officers of the first division alone.

"What did Roko have for us Gaara that he needed to get are attention rather than wait for the normal meeting time?" Yamamoto asked his eyes hard but with an undercurrent of unease hidden under them that Gaara could barely see.

"Urahara-san has placed the package in Kuchiki-san trying to draw the traitor out while he prepares a team to go in and make sure it stays safe Captain." Gaara's statement made Yamamoto frown in concentration as he tried to see what the Ex Captain had in mind when Gaara handed him a scroll with the Kanji for Scorpion on it showing it was from Roko.

"This has everything Roko could figure out about what Urahara-san is planning along with what information Roko has on the traitors at the moment." Yamamoto nodded and opened the scroll to read what Roko had gathered so far.

"Captain Soifon also knows that there are traitors as well but Roko has requested that we keep her as safe for as long as we can despite his warning her to not get involved." Gaara's face was an emotionless mask before the gaze of his captain before he nodded to Gaara who bowed and left the room.

Soifon was making her way to the Tenth Division after checking in on her own and setting the schedule for the day and beating the crap out of her lieutenant when she found him half way through filling the place with expensive and useless stuff to 'show off his wealth' before she went looking for Naruto.

In truth she only had four places to check which were the Fourth Division, the Tenth Division, the Thirteenth Division, and the Raman bar in the West Rukongai Five. She had already checked the Fourth Division and was on her way to the Tenth to see if he was their when she saw a yellow and black blur to her right.

Turning quickly Soifon was met with the sight of Naruto rubbing his head while Nanao was giving him a lecture on something while her Zampakto was in her hand though still sheathed.

"I have told you a thousand times now you are not allowed to take Mai out of class just so the two of you can go to that Raman bar you love so much!" Soifon watched as Naruto tried to calm down his best friends wife while said woman looked ready to unleash her Zampakto on him

Deciding she had seen enough Soifon went to stop Nanao before she actually did unleash her Zampakto by coughing loudly to get their attention. Hearing someone they turned to see Soifon with a scroll in hand as she watched the two of them with her mask in place although both could see the suppressed mirth in her eyes as she looked at them.

"Captain Soifon/Soifon-chan." Nanao and Naruto called out respectively causing Soifon's eyebrow to twitch in annoyance at Naruto's lack of respect but she had gotten used to it as he didn't show respect to anyone beyond his own captain and he was still called Jiji.

"Lieutenant Uzumaki I was just looking for you." Soifon said and she smirked inwardly as said man scowled at her for a few seconds before his normal grin returned to his face.

"What you need Soifon the Dumbass slaking off again?" this time Soifon did grin, she remembered when she had gone to the monthly gathering Naruto had with all his friends and she had ranted at how useless her new Lieutenant was. The others had listened but Naruto had gone and pranked not only her Lieutenant but his entire family much to her and many others delight. Since then Naruto has taken acted as her unofficial enforcer with dealing with the fat idiot whenever he grows too insufferable for her to take.

"Not yet but if he pulls another stunt like the one he did today he's all yours." She said making Naruto's face split with a devious grin. She could see his mind working out his next great prank when she continued.

"No I have something for you here I got it on my last mission." She said as she handed the scroll over to him and watching to see what Roko has in store for the blonde.

Naruto looked at the scroll curiously wondering what Soifon would get him which was unusual in and of itself if you asked everyone who knew her she rarely gave out gifts unless it was for certain occasions like a birthday/deathday (AN: the day someone arrives in Soul Society if you have a better name I'm all for it.) so for her to get someone something was odd.

Naruto opened the scroll and found a seal on it but before he could tell what it was he was covered in smoke from the scroll unsealing its contents. When the smoke cleared it showed Naruto with a bowl of Raman in his hand as his face turned to one of pure bliss at the smell of his favorite food.

"Soifon I don't know how but this smells just like Ichirakus so thank you!" and before Soifon could get a word in not that she planned to Naruto dug into the bowl with a pair of chopsticks that appeared out of nowhere. In record time he was finished with the bowl and patting his stomach happily when he noticed words carved around the inner edge of the bowl.

Dear Naruto if you are reading this than you have most likely already eaten the Raman I made for you I truly hope you enjoyed it cause you wont be able to do anything else for the next week or so while you are confined to the nearest bathroom hope you enjoyed it and don't talk about my personal life like its some kind of fairy tale your old and now dead friend, Akasuna no Roko.

Naruto's eyes widened at the message before he nearly keeled over with his arms wrapped around his stomach and with a quick good bye vanished to find the nearest bathroom. Soifon and Nanao who had watched the whole thing went over to the bowl and read the message Roko left and almost busted out laughing at how Roko even gone can still make someone regret annoying him.

"I want to ask how you got that but something tells me I'm better off not knowing I'll see you later Captain Soifon." With that Nanao and Soifon left to return to their Divisions.

Torappu- advanced puppet- Torappu has a bigger than average body compared to an adult human while his arms are massive in size capable of holding an average person in one hand with seals on the palm to drain any energy keyed into it when it gathers similar to Samahade does with chakra and stores it inside its arms and body. This energy can also be transferred if Torappu is touching someone/thing. Torappu's main purpose is meant for catching people alive or to gather unique energy for Roko to experiment with including Hollow, Shinigami, Visored, Quincy, and Fullbinger last one won't be till later.