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Bellamy walked into Camp Jaha with a heavy heart. The recently freed kids swarmed around, hugging each other and laughing. Bellamy turned and watched Clarke walk to the treeline. He couldn't bear the thought of her suffering with so much guilt all alone, but he knew he couldn't stop her from leaving; once Clarke made a decision, there was no changing her mind.
"Bellamy!" Octavia smiled as she hugged him again.
He couldn't help smiling back at her, but his smile quickly faded as his eyes wandered back to where Clarke had been just moments ago.
Bellamy's voice was steel. "She left."
Octavia looked at him, wide eyed; she knew what her brother was trying to hide, she knew him just as well as she knew herself.
"Bellamy," she started.
"Don't, O, I can't stop her."
"Bell, go with her!" She snapped, slapping his arm.
"What?" Bellamy looked at his sister incredulously.
"Listen, Clarke's done some really bad stuff, but Indra was right, she was just being a good leader for our people. I can't forgive her yet, but she needs it. She needs you. You need each other, you're both just too stubborn to see it."
"What about you?"
"I can take care of myself, big brother." She chuckled and pushed his shoulder playfully.
"I will come back."
"See you later then." She turned him by his shoulders and pushed him towards the woods. "You better hurry!"
Bellamy sprinted towards the woods. 'She can't have gone that far.' He stopped just inside the trees, looking for any indication of where she'd gone, but found none. He walked a little ways in one direction but quickly turned back and tried the other. It was no use, Lexa had apparently taught her how to hide her trail. He scoured the area for hours until the sun began to set. He'd known it was hopeless after the first half hour, but he couldn't bring himself to just walk away. Looking up, he saw a torch approaching.
"Day's over, loverboy," called Raven, "you can try again tomorrow."
"No use," he called back, "she's gone."
Raven frowned. "She'll come back, Bellamy. Clarke wouldn't just abandon the people she worked so hard to keep safe."
Bellamy nodded firmly and started walking back towards the camp.
Raven looked around the trees for a moment, "She'll come back." She whispered to herself.
She jogged to catch up with Bellamy. They reentered camp together and went to get a drink.
Clarke walked until her legs refused to carry her anymore. She hadn't set a destination in mind, but when she found herself approaching the Grounder camp, she veered sharply to the right. Giving the camp a wide berth so as not to be noticed, she continued walking aimlessly through the forest. Later, she found herself back at the drop ship; the charred remnants of the 100's last stand against the Grounders lay untouched. She thought about her fight with Anya atop the bodies of those people. She made her way into the lowest level of the ship and picked up a few items she thought may be useful, then continued meandering through the forest.
She thought about the alliance with the Grounders, what could have been different if Anya hadn't been shot. She thought about Lexa, their kiss, her betrayal; Clarke's heart was torn between hating the Commander for what she'd done and respecting her even more for protecting her people.
"I never would have betrayed her like that." She scoffed aloud. "Never."
She stopped for a moment, pondering her own words. "Would I?"
She angrily swiped at the tears she hadn't realized were beginning to stream down her face. The scene at Mount Weather flashed in her mind; shooting Dante, all the innocent people on Level 5 that she killed, Maya's face was the most prominent. She cringed as she recalled Jasper's broken expression as he cradled Maya's radiation burned body in his arms, "What did you do?"
She could have waited, Jasper was going to kill Cage, she didn't have to kill all those people. Hot tears slid down her cheeks, she didn't try to brush them away. Instead, she ran; she didn't know where she was going, but it didn't matter. She had nowhere to go; she would not go to Lexa, she couldn't face her yet, she couldn't go back to Camp Jaha, couldn't face the friends she once had. She ran until her lungs burned, her tear stained cheeks flushed. She continued walking until her legs felt like jelly and she collapsed beneath an enormous tree. She looked up at the night sky.
"They're all safe," she whispered to the stars. "But at what cost?"