629Somehow, time seems to simultaneously move at a glacial pace and fly by. One minute she's studying for finals, the first year of law school nearly officially under her belt, blood, sweat and tears included, and the next she's flattening the gown over her hips, fiddling with the zipper she's almost certain will break if she tries to undo and redo it one more time.
"Kate, it looks great," Rick chuckles, watching her obsess over the non-existent wrinkles from where he stands behind her in the mirror.
With her hair curled, her cap expertly bobby pinned to keep it from slipping off or getting carried off by an unpredictable wind, and her white dress (the one she wasn't sure was right for a graduation, fearing it was too simple until she realized it'll only be seen in photos anyway, not on stage) concealed by her gown, she looks stunning.
Sighing, she twists to peer over her shoulder. "You're sure it's not laying funny?"
"You look perfect."
The sincerity in his words, the softness in his features mixing with such pure pride nearly knocks her over. "Okay," she nods, voice not fully there. "I can't believe it's here already."
"Seems like just yesterday you were sitting in the kitchen, pouring over book after book, and I had to practically beg you to come to bed."
Silently crossing the living room, Rick comes up from behind and places a gentle hand on Kate's shoulder. The touch startles her, breaking her laser concentration as she whips her head around to look up at him.
"Hey," he murmurs, soaking in the sight of her. She's been sitting at the island for hours now, textbooks laid out before her, and he's certain she hasn't even noticed him any of the times he's moved in and around the kitchen.
Her hair's in a messily pulled-back bun at the base of her neck, rogue tendrils falling loose around her face, and the glasses she only ever uses for reading are sliding down her nose. She looks adorable. "Why don't you call it a night, come to bed?"
Over the past few months Kate's been staying for more prolonged periods of time at the loft. There hasn't been an official conversation, no vocalized agreement that she'd move in, but somewhere along the way it's just sort of... happened. More and more of her stuff has made its way into his bedroom; her clothes are in his drawers, her work shirts and pants hanging neatly in his closet beside his button-downs.
So maybe it's not official, not in the traditional sense, but he feels a certain emptiness in the place on the odd nights when she stays at her own apartment.
Kate offers a tired smile. "I will," she says, then casts a glance to the pages of notes splayed in front of her. Sighing, she props her elbow on the counter-top. "I just want to finish this chapter."
Peering over her shoulder, he scans the pages. "How much more do you have?"
"Maybe ten pages? It won't take me long."
"Okay," he says. Squeezing her shoulder, he bends down to press a kiss to her head. "Don't overwork it though, Kate. You'll do better with fresh eyes in the morning."
She nods, promises that she'll stop if she gets too tired (she knows she won't, knows she'll plow through until this chapter is complete because she can't even think about leaving it half-finished) and that she'll be in soon, but not to wait up.
Once he's out of sight and she's sure he's actually getting into bed, not waiting for her in the office like he's been known to do so many times before, Kate lets herself slouch a little in the chair. Rubbing at her eyes, she contemplates for a moment before standing up and rounding the island.
It's going on midnight now and she's determined to both get all of the details of this case she's reading down and stay awake enough to do it, so she decides a cup of coffee won't kill her. She should go with tea, maybe add some honey to it, but she opts for decaf and tells herself that's as good as splitting the difference.
As she waits for the water to boil, she leans against the counter. Pushing the hair out of her face, she exhales.
She knows Rick thinks she's overdoing it, and maybe she is, maybe this is all over-kill and she doesn't have to spend every night sitting out here for hours pouring over her notes from the semester, but she's one final away from the end of her first year of law school and she's going to ace it. There's no other option; she's Kate Beckett and she's going to prove to herself that everything she's done in her life has all been one big lead-up to this, her true calling.
Law school's been just as hard as she expected it to be, even harder most days, really, but it's also come surprisingly naturally to her. She picks up concepts quickly and is able to memorize those she's not already overly familiar with from years spent with two lawyer parents.
Professors know of her parents, a few who no longer practice because they've transitioned into teaching have even worked with her mother back in the day, and she takes how highly they regard them as a compliment. But it also puts more pressure on her; through no fault of her professors, of course, all of it entirely self-made. She's the daughter of two lawyers, two highly respected lawyers in their heyday, and it'd be a pity if she somehow didn't carry on the legacy.
That's one hell of a burden to put on your shoulders, Katie, she can practically hear her father's voice in her ear.
Shaking her head, Kate finishes making her coffee and returns to her books, settling into the chair. It won't be a problem if she does well on this final, an outcome which is totally attainable and the entire reason why she's putting in so much effort.
Just about thirty minutes later, coffee emptied and books closed, Kate takes a deep breath as she turns out the lights and finally slips into the bed. She curls into Rick's side, his arm instinctively wrapping around her torso, pulling her closer. With her head resting comfortably on his chest, her palm splayed open above his heart, she falls into an easy sleep.
Kate huffs good-naturedly. She's well aware of those nights, the ones leaving her with little sleep; they allowed her to achieve the grades she strived for, but she's more than thrilled to have them settled firmly in the past.
"So I might have gone a little overboard sometimes," she concedes.
Rick grins. "Just a little," he teases, stepping forward. Gripping at her hip bones softly, he dips down to place a kiss to the crown of her head. "My studious academic. A lawyer."
"Not technically," she starts, pausing to look at her watch. Two hours until the ceremony. "I still have to take, and pass, the bar exam."
Rick huffs, waves a hand as if to say please. "Piece of cake." This time she actually laughs, rolls her eyes. "You just finished multiple years of law school, passed —with flying colors might I add. The bar is just a formality."
"Yeah," Kate chuckles, turning around to face him, smoothing her palm against the front of his suit. "A pretty important formality that determines whether or not I can actually call myself a lawyer."
"I have complete faith in you, you know." He glances down, eyes finding hers. "Always have, always will."
Cheeks flaring a slight pink, she rests her forehead against his chest, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "I know."
They stand like that for a few more minutes, and though she knows they need to leave soon, the graduates required to arrive a bit before the actual procession to make sure everyone's squared away, caps in place, cords and stoles where they should be, she doesn't want to leave this bubble of a moment.
"We should make sure we've got everything," she murmurs eventually, pulling herself away from his body. Her father, Rick's mother, and Alexis will be going together a little closer to showtime while Rick drives Kate, intent on staying with her for as long as he can until he's kicked out by someone looking official.
"As if you haven't had everything ready for the past few hours," Rick grins.
And he's not wrong, she admits. She's piled everything they need —phones, wallets, keys, water bottles, etc. —on the island earlier, determined not to forget a single thing. In the rush of everything, the last minute stress, she knew the likelihood of leaving something important behind would be heightened.
"Well, one of us had to be organized."
"Ouch."
She smirks. "Come on. I'll let you double check everything."
"A pity check?" he mumbles, faux hurt playing in his eyes.
One shoulders raises. "Maybe."
"I'll take it," he agrees easily, leading her with a palm against her lower back as he leads her from the bedroom. "Even though you definitely haven't forgotten anything."
"I did," she says in response, halting their movement. Rick stops, looks down at her with a furrowed brow. "This."
Leaning up, she covers his lips with her own, smiling into the kiss when he grips at her shoulders.
When they call her name on the stage, Katherine Houghton Beckett, because she felt that her full name was appropriate for the occasion, she swears she can hear everyone screaming for her in the audience. It's unlikely, really, the sheer size of the patrons in attendance making it less than possible to hear her family alone, but if she listens really closely, it really does sound like her father's voice cheering her on.
That alone makes her grin widen, threatening to split her cheeks in two.
And when she stands at the end, shaking hands with the President of the college to get her photo taken, she's certain she knows she hears one very distinct voice going, "that's my girl!"
She doesn't find them afterwards out on the campus grounds as much as they find her, a little ball of red slamming into her legs and wrapping itself around her torso like an octopus.
The shock wears off in a few seconds and she manages a laugh, hugging the girl back.
"Congratulations, Kate!" Alexis exclaims, grinning up at her from where she's still holding tight. "You got the loudest screams, and we were screaming really loud too."
Kate smiles, runs her palm across the girl's back. "Thank you, Alexis. And I thought I heard you guys. The best cheering of the whole audience, for sure."
Alexis is so excited that she managed to hear them over the crowd that she doesn't allow herself the wink towards the adults while she's watching.
"Congratulations, Katie," her father says, his voice breaking around her name. There's nothing but pure pride in his shining eyes as he regards her, and it takes everything she has to avoid the tears prickling at the backs of her own eyes. "I'm so proud. Your mother, she would be —she'd be so proud."
She wraps her arms around his back, hiding her face in his neck to keep the tears that make their way uninvited to the surface at bay. Happy tears, sad tears all in one. "I know. Thank you, dad."
Martha offers her congratulations as well, murmurs well wishes into her ears as she hugs her tightly. You've come so far, the woman tells her, and god, she thinks, these people won't be happy until she's a blubbering mess. But she loves them, she realizes, every last one of them. This little makeshift family she's not sure what she's done to deserve.
"You know how proud I am," Rick says by way of greeting. "I don't have to say it again, but I will: I am so incredibly proud of you. You've gone through more than any one person should ever have to endure in their lifetime, but you've pulled yourself out of that dark place and chose to make a difference."
"Rick," she starts, shaking her head. "I'm not even a lawyer yet…"
"I didn't mean on all the people's lives you will make change for the better, because you will, no doubt. I'm talking about all the lives you've already made an impact on. Mine, my daughter's, my family's. You came into our lives and I can honestly say you've made me a better person, and I can't wait to be witness to you changing the lives of everyone else you take on."
Looking up, she does her best to blink away the ever-persistent tears, but it's no use. They come anyway, entirely happy, emotional tears this time, sliding down her cheeks. What did she say about these people not being content until she's a sobbing mess?
These people, her family, for better or worse, more than a little unconventional, but good. So good.
It's all she can to wrap herself in his arms, clasping her palms together between his shoulder blades. Her graduation cap nearly smacks the back of his head and he chuckles, the sound vibrating against her chest.
She wasn't always positive she'd make it here, but there's nowhere else she'd rather be.
On the day she's set to take the bar exam she's so nervous she makes herself sick. Rick doesn't say anything, just quietly kneels beside her on the bathroom floor; he holds her hair back with one hand, the other rubbing calming circles along her spine with the other.
Sighing, she settles back onto her haunches, wiping at her forehead with the back of her hand.
"I'm just..."
"Nervous," he fishes for her, and she nods. "I know. That's normal. I wouldn't say this is ideal, but... you'll be fine, Kate. You've been studying non-stop, you know all of this. You just have to trust in yourself."
"I do."
She nods, because she does. She knows that she's done everything she can and she's confident in her ability to pass the state bar; the information isn't what's freaking her out, or forgetting it. She thinks it's the idea of passing and then being legally allowed to start practicing law that's throwing her off. It's felt so far off for so long, some distant idea, even after graduating law school.
But now? Now, on the helm of that dream materializing, becoming real, she doesn't know what to do.
What if she's not ready? What if she knows all of the information in theory, but in practice she messes it all up, messes a case up and fails her clients?
She couldn't deal with that.
"Stop thinking so hard," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple.
A small smile tugs at her lips. "I know. I'm trying."
"That's all I ask." Rubbing her back once more, he struggles to stand. "Jeez, these knees aren't what they used to be."
Kate laughs, easily following his lead.
"Sure, show off your young joints."
"I can't help it if your knees are too old."
"My knees are not old, they're... well used."
Shaking her head, she pats at his shoulder, somehow feeling a little better. "Whatever you have to tell yourself, babe."
"Babe?"
She doesn't even have to turn towards him to know that he's grinning at the rare use of that particular pet name, obnoxiously if she had to guess, so she just continues on her way out of the bathroom.
"I have to get dressed, if you don't mind."
"I mind a little," he jests. She's wearing his favorite short-pajama set, ice cream cones covering the entirety of the fabric. He bought it, obviously; as a joke at first, but turns out they both actually like it. "But I guess if the bar people prefer a more professional attire, I understand."
"Ever so thankful for your approval," she deadpans.
She'll be fine, she tells herself. Regardless of what happens, she knows she has people behind her that'll support her through this next chapter. She's sure of it.
She does blank on a few parts of the exam that she knows she went over while studying, but she passes.
They celebrate with a family dinner, her father and Martha joining them at the loft.
(She has to, very persuasively, convince Rick not to throw a huge party, to return the giant streamers she found hiding in the closet because she absolutely does not need that kind of celebration. He pouts for a few minutes, tells her he just wants to shower her with all of the love and support she deserves, and she promises that she doesn't need any kind of grand gesture to assure her that she's loved and supported.
She doesn't, however, manage to get him to return the most grossly extravagant cake she's ever seen in her life.
"It's four layers, Rick."
"Yeah."
"There are..." She doesn't know where to begin. The strawberries decorating the exterior? The way the bottom layer is in the shape of a law textbook, Latin scriptures and all? The protruding, fake (she hopes, god she truly hopes) sparklers?
"You said we could keep it," he reminds, a child-like smirk on his face.
When she bites into the chocolate and strawberry cake, though, she decides she's okay with letting him have this one.)
"Your first client, how does it feel?" he asks.
She's looking in the mirror, fixing her suit jacket for the fifth time in the past twenty minutes. "Good," she says. It's automatic, a habit, but she finds that she actually does feel good about it. Nervous, of course; that's only natural. But she feels okay. "I'm still a little worried I'll let someone down, but I'm ready to jump in. Sink or swim, right?"
Rick smiles. "You'll make mistakes, Kate," he says easily. "There's no way to get through this without some bumps in the road, but look at how you've handled all the other obstacles you've been up against. You'll drive right over them, show them who's boss, and kill it. You'll swim."
Thinking back on how she's gotten here, all the shit she's had to go through and put up with, all the long nights and blackouts, all the setbacks and doubts... it's almost a miracle she's even standing here right now.
But Rick's right; she's let her past knock her down for a bit, but eventually, with his help along the way, she's found her way here. She owes this to him as much as she does to her own tenacity, because if she's being honest, if he hadn't found her in that club there's absolutely no way she'd have gotten out on her own. She had no reason to.
Now, she does.
She has herself, she has Rick, she has a little girl who, against her own better judgement most days, looks up to her. She has her father, who's doing so well these days that she's finally stopped wondering when the other shoe's going to drop.
"This is a power suit, after all," she grins. "It's pretty hard to feel like anything other than a badass wearing this."
Rick murmurs his assent, eyes traveling her body appraisingly. "For the record, you're a badass with and without the suit."
Kate hums. "Is that so?"
"Absolutely, counselor."
Laughing, she shakes her head. With one last glance in the mirror she decides she's not going to make her appearance any better than it currently is. She approves of the state of her suit, finally, and spins on her heels.
"If you can behave while I'm at work, maybe I can show you just how badass I can be without the suit."
He gapes but recovers with impressive speed, nodding quickly. "That is a wonderful deal. I accept."
"I will be asking Alexis for confirmation, though," she says, pointing a finger in his direction, eyebrow raised. She knows the girl will tell her what shenanigans they manage to get up to in the meantime. "Gotta have all the facts before I officially formalize the deal, you know."
"Hey, I object to that!"
Kate makes her way through the living room and stops at the island, swiping her bag off the counter-top. With a glance over her shoulder, she smirks.
"Overruled."
A/N: We've reached the end, finally. If I'm being completely honest I have no idea how I even feel about this, but I do know you all deserved some kind of (terribly long overdue) conclusion to this story. It was written in small chunks over the past year or so, but we got here eventually.
I am aware of how long this has taken, and I truly apologize. I've been going through some issues, personally, and on top of them have started a doctoral program that has taken all of my time and every last bit of my mental well-being and sanity. For anyone still here, for everyone who's stuck around waiting patiently (or not, which I'd totally understand, too) for this chapter, I cannot thank you enough. All of the inquiries and comments into this story across the time it's been collecting dust have meant the world.
I hope you all enjoy, regardless, and maybe I'll see you on the other side again soon.