8Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All rights belong to the great J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson.
The following reports are extracted from the TA 2941 files.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Halfway Down the Carrock
Date: August 19th, TA 2941
The useful thing about Hobbits, of course, is their size. A Hobbit, Saruman, is on average three and a half feet. Many of the Big People (for so they call Men and Elves) mistake them for children. Most of the races (including Dwarves, who really ought to know better!) tend to overlook them. They believe that Hobbits are inconsequential.
Which is entirely wrong. Hobbits may not be grand heroes of myth and legend, but they've used their small size and unassuming appearance for centuries to avoid all sorts of dangers. They are the cleverest little survivors you could ever meet. Why should they be warriors or conquerors, when the world is happy enough to leave them in their peaceful little homes? Their small stature is a marvelous thing, and something they should thank the Valar for.
- is what I told Bilbo.
All that got me was a huff and a raised eyebrow.
"That does not, Gandalf- no, listen to me! That does not mean it's acceptable to just hoist me up and, and deposit me on the nearest Dwarf!"
"Oh, Dori's just fine with it, aren't you, brother?" drawled Nori.
Dori didn't protest except for a restrained moue. Which Bilbo, clinging to Dori's back like a limpet, thankfully could not see.
"I assure you, I can climb down the Carrock quite well! By myself!"
"It's not to insult you," tried Balin. "But we should make our way to the valley floor before nightfall, and Dwarves are able to move more quickly, especially where rock is concerned."
"Aye!" chirped Bofur. "Dwarves are experts at the climbing! Best you stay tucked away atop Dori, there, and then we can climb without any worry of you tripping up on your big Hobbity feet!"
"My feet are a perfectly respectable size, thank you!"
"But we really do need to do this quickly," I said.
"Oh? And I'll slow the mighty Wizard and the Dwarves down, will I? What about Thorin? He's the one with the injury, and I don't see you lot making Dwalin carry him like a sack of potatoes!"
Luckily, Bilbo was still in the king's oddly good graces, and so Thorin only glared at the Hobbit for a second before turning a suspicious eye on Dwalin, who raised his hands, palms out.
"Enough. Balin is right. We need to reach the ground before the sun sets. Move, everyone. Wizard, keep up. Mr. Baggins… please let Dori carry you," said Thorin.
Bilbo sighed and only mumbled "Certainly, why not, I suppose I've been promoted from Burglar to Baggage, then."
The noise picked up again as we all retrieved our belongings and distributed packs, and I could just hear him continue:
"If it's all right with you, of course, Dori."
"Why certainly, Bilbo," Dori said, masterfully ignoring Nori's snickers in the background.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: August 19th, TA 2941
Must I remind you that official I.S.T.A.R.I. reports are to be used for vital field agent communication, Gandalf?
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: The ground!
Date: August 19th, TA 2941
But it was wonderfully amusing!
Within a trice the Dwarves had set up a system of ropes from person to person so we were all attached during the climb down. We made fairly good time, though a few of the Dwarves (Thorin, Balin and Oin in particular) were slow to join us. They kept craning back to look at the Mountain far away on the horizon.
We finally did make it off the Carrock, though, and with plenty of daylight, too. I was rather focused on simply keeping up with the Dwarves (for it wouldn't do to let them think that a Wizard was less capable), but even I noticed how very white Thorin grew and the way his hands shook all the way down. He wouldn't complain if his life depended on it, of course, but I did see Dwalin subtly make his way over, and there were a few moments where, if one didn't know better, it would look like Thorin was resting his weight against the bald Dwarf's shoulder.
We all very carefully didn't look at those times.
Bilbo's discontented mutterings made an almost pleasant background hum the entire climb.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: A plain
Date: August 19th, TA 2941
Hmm. I really had hoped, after all the recent excitement, that we would have a chance to rest. But we had barely settled down at the base of the Carrock before we were forced to jump up again- there had been the distant howl of a Warg.
"But lunch…" whimpered Gloin. His brother thrust a hunk of travelling bread in the banker's hand.
"The beasties aren't done with us yet."
So we started running again. Poor Bilbo didn't even echo Gloin about yet another missed meal. He simply heaved a great sigh and grabbed his own piece of bread.
I don't even know how they found our trail again so quickly! That Azog fellow must have forced his troops to run throughout the night while we flew on Eagles. I'm lagging a bit behind- I will update you later!
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: August 19th, TA 2941
I am sure I do not need to remind you, Gandalf, that as one of the I.S.T.A.R.I., you are not allowed to die at the hands of something so inconsequential as an Orc.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Farther along the Plain
Date: A bit later in the afternoon
Saruman! You wound me! I would never!
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Behind some rocks
Date: Early nightfall
We've all lumped behind a pile of rocks, as it is the best piece of cover we have come across recently. Bilbo is huddled almost on the top, peeking out to see our pursuers.
Ah! He's coming down.
"How close is the pack?" barked Dwalin.
"Too close. A couple of leagues, no more, but that is not the worst of it-"
Dwalin ignored his babbles. "Have the Wargs picked up our scent?"
"Not yet, but they will. We have another problem-"
I must admit I was a bit more worried about the immediacy of Wargs; I cut off Bilbo as well.
"Did they see you?" Bilbo hesitated for half a breath. Nienna wept, I knew it! "They saw you!"
Bilbo shook his head frantically, dirty blond curls bobbing. "No, that's not it-"
Oh, but of course not! The Burglar I chose would never do something so silly as be seen. I turned back to the Company with a broad smile.
"What did I tell you? Quiet as a mouse. Excellent Burglar material!"
The Dwarves, as one, slumped into relieved sighs and chuckles. I could hear the princes whispering frantically ("Because he can turn totally invisible, you see?")
I turned around to see Bilbo puffed up and red in the face.
"Will you listen- Will you just listen? I'm trying to tell you there is-" and he hissed the last part, "something else out there!"
The Dwarves stopped chuckling at once.
What in Middle-earth could it… Oh! Perhaps we were closer than I thought.
"What form did it take?" I asked. "Like a bear?"
Bilbo nodded. "Ye-"
He stopped and looked at me.
"…yes. But bigger, much bigger."
"You knew about this beast?" asked Bofur.
If we were truly in the old bear's lands, I could afford a bit of Wizard mystery again. I ignored him and walked a few steps, as if in deep contemplation.
"I say we double back!" said Bofur.
"And be run down by a pack of Orcs?" That was Thorin.
I had finished my few paces, and looked upon the Company.
"There is a house," I said, "not far from here, where we might take refuge."
"Whose house? Are they friend or foe?" Thorin, again. Always so suspicious!
"Neither. He will help us, or he will kill us."
That statement got a nice reaction: all of the Dwarves looked at each, dismayed.
Thorin sighed.
"What choice do we have?"
There was a sudden roar from behind us.
"None," I said.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Jumping across a stream
Date: After midnight, I think
More running.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: A forest
Date: Definitely after midnight
Running… Oh, look! I can see flashes of Azog and his Orcs through the trees! Perhaps I should wave.
…
That was another roar, quite close.
Perhaps not.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Beorn's
Date: I would like to sleep, now
We found another burst of speed and raced through the rest of the forest, breaking out into another plain. Unfortunately, the Orcs were inspired to run even faster, as well.
There! I could see the surrounding hedge-wall of Beorn's dwelling.
"To the house!" I gasped. "Run!"
I have never seen anyone run as fast as I saw Bombur go then.
We made it through the hedge-gate and made for the door.
"Come on! Get inside!"
Bombur threw himself at the door, quickly followed by the rest of the Dwarves, all flinging themselves against the heavy wood like birds against a window. The door didn't so much as budge.
I looked over my shoulder.
Oh. Beorn was coming.
Straight at us.
Very quickly.
"Open the door!" I yelled.
Thorin shoved his way through the flailing Dwarves and lifted one hand, raising the latch.
The Company fell through in a pile, and just as frantically turned back to slam the door shut.
Oh, look! Beorn had gotten his head in the gap. I stood well behind the swearing mass of Dwarves and the snarling bear as the Company tried to push Beorn out. They looked like they were doing fine. Bilbo had his little sword pointed unsteadily in front of him.
Such a dear.
"Come on, lads!" said Dwalin, and with one last heave they slammed the door shut and threw the bolt.
Sudden, blessed silence.
"What is that?" shrieked Ori.
I smiled down at them.
"That… is our host."
Ah, all eyes on me. Excellent.
"His name is Beorn, and he is a skin-changer. Sometimes he is a huge black bear; sometimes he's a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with. However," I looked out over the assembled Company, "he is not overfond of Dwarves."
The Dwarves looked at each other. Ori peered through a crack in the huge door.
"He's leaving!"
Dori yanked his youngest brother away.
"Come away from there! It's not natural, none of it. It's obvious he's under some dark spell."
Please.
"Don't be a fool," I said. "He's under no enchantment but his own." Dori glowered. "All right now, get some sleep, all of you. You'll be safe here tonight."
The Dwarves murmured and settled down in their usual piles.
I stayed upright a bit longer, mentally counting them all. And then, too quietly for them to hear, I whispered, "I hope so."
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: August 20th, TA 2941
I am ever so happy to hear that you are seeking refuge with bears now, Gandalf.
Agent: Gandalf the Grey
Location: Beorn's
Date: August 20th, TA 2941
Oh! Now that I'm finally sitting and able to think clearly again, do you think I could have overtime? I've been running or fighting ever since the 17th and that episode with the Goblin King.
Agent: Saruman the White
Location: Isengard
Date: August 20th, TA 2941
No.
Author's Note: Nienna wept is my new favorite Middle-earth saying.