To catch a heart

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners. I'm just someone with a secret obsession with Spuffy and the creativity to play around with it ;)

Summary: When Spike is brought back from the dead, Buffy gets a second chance to express her feelings. She just needs to figure out how. Post Buffy tv series, AU.

Buffy had just gotten back from her patrol. She was slightly sore, nothing major though. There's nothing like in-between-Apocalypses to make a girl glad. Then again, after the fall of Sunnydale and Spike's death, there wasn't much more that could cause her pure, despairingly grief.

She chastised herself for the thought: she jinxed it, now definitely something worse would come and kill all the remaining important people in her life.

A loud ringing made her jump. Oh God, maybe she really jinxed it! She went to the kitchen and answered the phone. Stupid, stupid Buffy!

"Buffy?" – Gee, why couldn't it have been a prank call? No, the harbinger of bad news himself had to be on the other side of the line.

"Hey Angel."


"You alright?"

"Yeah… uhn, listen…"

Buffy closed her eyes. So much for small talk, let's get right into more apocalyptic subjects… She forced herself to be pragmatic and push back the fear: it was expected of her.

"How bad? Go ahead, I can take it. What's the next Doomsday threat?"

"Actually, it's about Spike."

"Wha…" - her heart tightened – "what about Spike?"

"He's back."

WHAT?! was her first thought. Gladly, her mind hadn't translated it into words. Shock and a great amount of hope she was afraid to feel kept her from saying anything.

Breathing in and out, she slowly regained her ability to speak. Tears of happiness, hope and fear started to prick her eyes. She couldn't shed them, couldn't allow herself until she was sure she heard it right. Carefully, she chose her next words.

"What do you mean 'he's back'?" she questioned him warily, dreading the answer while asking. It was just her luck that a new evil would use Spike just to toy with and torture her.

"I dropped the amulet and he resurrected."


She gave a low yet hysteric laugh and her tears started falling.

It was… silly, so very silly. No Big Bad? No Armageddon? Just her loved one back? She couldn't believe it.

"Yeah." Angel had expected her disbelief: it was a simplistic and stupid resurrection if he knew one.

"Where is he?"

"Staying at the Hyperion with me" he said, reluctantly. He wasn't happy about telling her, but he remembered how desolated she was when he died. She never said a word, but he knew. He pushed her away and she had finally fallen for someone else. Someone he hated.

"I'm coming."

"Buffy, there's this thing…"

Incorporeal. Of course he had to be incorporeal, she thought. But then again, she was expecting something worse. She got mad when Angel told her Spike didn't want her to know he was back. So, an incorporeal idiot…

Well, she could work with that.

A couple of minutes later, Buffy hung up the phone. She had barely managed to control the string of tears running across her face, although she believed to have succeeded in keeping her voice as unaffected as she could while talking to Angel.

When Dawn showed up, however, that was another thing entirely.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

One look into her little sister's eyes and she started crying like a child, sobbing, unable to form a single word. Dawn hugged her.

"Shh, Buffy, calm down. What happened?"


Her voice broken, Buffy took the time to breathe. Before continuing, she noticed the sad look on Dawn's face – they both missed him so much.

"Dawn, Spike's back."


"The bleached and obnoxious vampire called Spike" she said, sniveling. "Well, he's back."

"Oh my God… Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!" Dawn's eyes gleamed with surprise as she processed the news.

"Yeah… Apparently, my boyfriends just can't stay dead. Must be one of the perks of being a slayer, you know, along with super strength and fast healing," she joked. "Too bad the dental care plan sucks" – she furrowed her brows then smiled, the tears still glistening in her face. Dawn smiled back.

"Where is he?"

"In L.A. with Angel."

"I'll pack my bags. Five minutes!"

"Dawn, listen. I think I should go alone this time."

"No way!"

"Well, you see, he's incorporeal."

"Oh," Dawn took a few seconds to process the information. "Okay, so I can't hug him. No biggie."

"And he didn't want us to know he's back."

Dawn looked hurt… and angry. "How can he do this to me?"

"To us. And good question. But I promise you this: I'm gonna find a way to get his body back, then I'll kick his ass all the way over here…"

Spike was really annoyed, his lack of body getting to him. Sure, it has its advantages: he could annoy Angel endlessly without the ponce being able to do a thing about it. But the inability to use electronics and appliances? Not so fun. Especially since he'd kill for a hot chocolate and a little entertainment.

He noticed Angel's presence before the other vampire opened the door to the room. Except for touch, all his other senses remained keen – well, he couldn't really know about taste, since it was bloody impossible to get any blood or food not to go through him. Being a ghost sucked big time.

"Well, finally!"

"Hey Spike."

"Could've at least left the tellie on! Wouldn't have threatened your post as World's Biggest Wanker to do something nice, you know? You've got plenty to compensate."

"Shut up, Spike. It's been a long day…"

"Yeah, tell me about it! I'm the one who's stuck in here…" Spike's whine was cut in half by a sweet fragrance: vanilla and mint. His eyes darted to the door and he stared at it transfixed, waiting for it to open. It didn't though. Confused, he looked at his sire. Angel's nervous yet not surprised look was also fixated at the door. It dawned on him then: she's was here to see him.

"Oh bloody hell!" Angel's eyes met his.

"Spike, listen to me…"

"Oh, you don't get to get all cozy with the Slayer while I'm around!"

"Excuse me?" confusion hit him. Angel had expected a bad reaction from Spike, but what the hell was he saying?

"Oh, that's bloody marvelous! Leave it to Angelus to find the perfect torture to kick me when I'm down! But just you start with your longing and suffering looks over her and you'll be dust as soon as I regain my body. Do. You. Understand?"


Buffy had been facing the door for a whole minute now. On her way over, she played the scene a million times in her head. She had been angry, sarcastic, funny, even caring. There was a different reaction in each scenery in her head, some seemed stupid, some awkward, many were filled with emotion. The one she didn't predict was the one where she couldn't bring herself to open the door. Or knock, for that matter. Hell, even kicking it down would've been better. This scenery would probably need a category of its own: ridiculous! Too bad this was actually the real one.

Ok, maybe kicking it down was better. She took a deep breath and chickened out, going for opening instead – she really didn't want to become the center of attention this time. Not when she was an emotional mess.

The two vampires turned towards her and stopped arguing. Yeah, so much for a discreet entrance, she thought. She kept her eyes on Angel, not daring to look at Spike.


"Hi Angel."

Spike cast a hurt look at her. He died for her, and yet she still fell all over Peaches!

As if reading his mind, she turned her head towards him, taking him in.


"Slayer" he said nonchalantly. His very blue eyes betrayed his tone: he was so glad to see her. He looked down, concealing his emotions.

It took all of her strength to hold back her tears. She was so very angry and so very happy that her heart seemed like it would break into several pieces. Both feelings commanded her to touch him, either violently or tenderly. Knowing it was not an option didn't prevent her from taking a step in his direction.

Her unexpected movement made Spike look up. He couldn't read her, an emotional turmoil reflecting in those strong and adorable green eyes.

"Are you staying the night, Buffy?" Angel intervened.

She blinked and broke her eye contact with Spike, realizing that her body was still moving in his direction. She stopped midway.

For that alone Spike could kill the older vampire. She was looking at me, you selfish egocentric bastard!

"Yeah, I am."

"Okay, I'll go make the arrangements for you."

"Thanks," her eyes had already gone back to Spike's, and Angel left the room. "So, you're really back."

"Yeah. Wait. How did you…?"

"Angel called me today."

"Oh. Guess I've annoyed the ponce too much."

"Yeah, Spike, maybe you have. What I don't understand is why you didn't talk to me."

"And say what exactly?"

"Oh, I don't know Spike. How about 'I came back, stop mourning me'?" he saw pain flash in her eyes for a millisecond, just before she turned around and left the room, two tears running down her cheeks.

He was taken aback for a moment. Was she crying? Did she really miss him?

He started to follow her down the corridor. "Buffy…"

"Leave me alone, Spike."

He wouldn't let her, of course. He would hold her tight and wipe away her tears. Until he realized that he couldn't. Feeling powerless, he stopped following her. For now.

She passed Angel on the corridor. With her head down, she took her bedroom keys and thanked him.

"You stupid childe! What did you say to her?"

"Ironically, this time it's what I didn't say." he answered, more to himself than to Angel.

A/N: Hello guys! This is my first Spuffy fic and I hope you all enjoy! If I made any mistakes, I'm really sorry – English is not my native language, so bear with me… Reviews are appreciated (and eagerly awaited lol), so let me know what you guys think! See you in chapter 2 ;)