Once everything settled down, everything went back to normal. Renesmee and Jacob go back and forth between the two houses. She doesn't want to stay with us to long, I think it is because she wants to spend time with her mom. I understand that. I went and started back on my schooling. I am now doing online schooling, so I can do my planning for the wedding with Alice, and maybe Edward and I can start our own family.
Edward doesn't like the idea. We sometimes argue about it, he is worried that I won't make it. Sometimes after the arguments he goes back to the other house. It makes me sad and lonely. I also get mad, when he comes back I ignore him. I do whatever I have to and won't talk to him. I told him that I don't care what he says, I am going to have a child.
Bella and I are now back to normal, we aren't close, we don't even talk. Everytime I try to talk to her she ignores me. She will either walk away or act like she doesn't here, even though she has supper hearing. When I walk in the house now she goes to her bedroom. The whole family seem sad when she leaves. Sometimes I feel unwelcomed by how she acts, and they never say anything about it.
I hear the doorbell and then a second later Alice walks in with a handful of stuff. I look at her and ask, "what is all of this for today?" She smiled and said, "it is pictures for flowers and decorations." I nodded and moved my flowers off of the table so we can have room. She looked at me and said," well you have decided that the color theme is red, there are many different types of red flowers, the most common ones are, roses, zinnia." Alice was going to continue when I interrupted her and said, "I just want roses, red and white ones, I want my undecided maid of honor to have white ones and my bridesmaids to have red ones, then I want mine to have a mixture." Alice nodded and wrote it down, even though she doesn't have to.
She then moved a little stack of papers out of the way and said, "well now are the decorations, you said that for the tables you want them to be sattin and a scatter of red and white table cloths." I nodded and said, "yes and the tables with white ones have red roses on them and the red table cloths have white roses." She nodded and then asked, "have you and Edward picked a date yet." I sighed at her and said, "he doesn't care he just wants it to be over with, I feel like I am his second choice, he doesn't care to help me with this planning. Why?" Alice sighed at me and said, "I don't know why sweety, maybe you should talk to him." I sighed and moved all of the papers.
I think I have made up my mind. Alice then yelled her head off and started crying. I know she just had a vision of my decision. I got out of my seat and walked to my car. I then drove to the other house. When I got there I walked in and to Edward. On my way to him Renesmee walked up to me and was going to give me a hug, but I stopped her needing to get what I felt out.
I walked up to Edward and he was frowning at me. I looked at my finger and asked, "do you love me, do you want to be with me." He looked at me, then pulled me into a hug and said, "of course I do, I love you more than anything." I looked at Edward and then said, "prove it to me, I am done planning, I am done trying to make sure everything is ok. I am going and staying with my brother, and for now this wedding is off."
I walked off from everyone. This made me upset. I can't sit here and hope that everything is going to work out. I walk out of the house and to the car, when I opened the door Edward showed up right in front of me. He pulled me into a hug and whispered to me, "please, don't leave me. I love you, I love you more than anything and I'm sorry I haven't helped you. I will, we can even call off the wedding off for now, I don't care. You can have what ever you want, just don't leave me.
I was crying by the time he finished saying what he did. I can't take this, him running off from me, leaving for the nights. He looked at me and said, "I won't do it again, when we argue I will stay with you and try to work through it. Just will you please stay with me and come home, with me." I turned around and was about to get in the car when I felt someones arms around me. It was Renesmee, she was crying, and holding me a little tight. I rubbed her back and said, "sweety I have to leave. I can't just sit here." She shook her head no and said, "I won't let you, you are my second mama and I refuse to let you go. You two belong together you are mates."
Her words surprised me, I didn't believe that she was so worked up about it. I rubber her back and sighed. Edward smiled, knowing what decision I already made. I looked at Renesmee and said, "I won't leave, I will stay." I then looked at Edwrd then back to Renesmee and said, "I'm going to go home now." She nodded and said, "I'll be down later." I went to get in the drivers seat but Edward led me to the passenger side and opened the door for me to get in. After closing the door he got in and started to drive off.
When we got to the house I walked in and went to the kitchen. I made myself a ham sandwhich and sat down. Edward sat next to me and grabbed my hand that I wasn't useing and kissed it. After I finished my sandwhich he looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, I have been neglecting you. I won't leave anymore because of an argument."
I nodded and then walked up to our bedroom and just laid there thinking. I don't like how everything is. It makes me sad to think how we are so distant from each other. Edward laid down on the bed with me and just rubbed my head, telling me he is sorry and that he loves me. I fell asleep in his arms hopeing things will change for us, and be the way they used to be.