13DISCLAIMER : I DON'T OWN THEM TEEN TITANS. OR DASHIE!
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE EVER, I AM EXPERIENCING WRITERS BLOCK. SO I'M JUST GONNA WRITE A LITTLE ONE SHOT. SO HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS HEARD OF A FUNNY ASS MAN ON YOUTUBE NAMED DASHIE? IN MY OPINION, I THINK HE IS THE FUNNIEST PERSON EVER. I SWEAR TO GOD HIS VIDEOS BE HAVING ME WEAK! SO I SHALL WRITE A TEEN TITANS FIC IN WHICH DASHIE WILL MEET THEM. SO LET'S DO THIS! *Dashie Voice*
*Also if you haven't seen Dashie, I suggest you look him up on YouTube. His channel name is Dashiexp. Watch his videos first before reading cuz it looks like I'm just writing bullshit.*
Jump City was quiet today. Ever since the Teen Titans got back from Tokyo the crime rate has decreased tremendously. Robin and Starfire started their new relationship off well by playing near the kitchen and whispering sweet nothings in each others ear. The more recent couple, Beast Boy and Raven were on the couch. Raven was sitting on his lap reading a book and Beast Boy was watching TV. Cyborg was on the lower level working on the T-Car. Everything was right with the world when suddenly the alarm sounded.
Robin looked up and rushed to the monitor with the rest of the group following.
"Titans, there's a disturbance in the Game Stop on Houston."
"Aw man, we just got back and the villains wanna act up again." Said Cyborg.
"Robin, does the computer say who is committing such crimes?" Asked Starfire.
"No. It just says someone is terrorizing the employees at the store."
"Well let's get down there and kick some bad guy butt!" Said Beast Boy.
"Titans Go!"
Meanwhile at Game Stop...
"Sir you are going to have to lower your voice. I don't even know when we will get another shipment."
"MAN THIS IS THAT BULLSHIT! HOW THE HELL YOU RUN OUT OF RESIDENT EVIL GAMES?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE GAME STOP, NOT GAMES STOP COMING IN BECAUSE OF Y'ALL NEGLIGENCE! YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING TIRED OF THIS SHIT MAN, AND I JUST WOKE UP FROM MY NAP!" Dashie miraculously changes into some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles footie pajamas. "SEE BITCH, DAMN. I GET THIS IS GAME STOP BUT Y'ALL THE ONES THAT NEED TO STOP PLAYING GAMES!"
*Glass Breaks*
The titans burst through the window. "Halt, villain!"
Dashie went off. "What the fuck is going... yo. Who the hell just broke in here man? This is a motherfucking public establishment. Y'all can't just come up in this bitch with y'all little colorful ass costumes destroying shit. Comic Con passed already. Take off them sweet ass outfits please!"
"Is this the idiot that was causing the disturbance here?" Said Raven.
"Yo baby girl, I wasn't causing shit about nothing! I came in here trying to buy some shit and they told me they ran out of the shit I want! Can you believe that?"
"Dude, who are you?" Said Cyborg.
"What Up! It's Dashie!"
"What kind of name is 'Dashie'?" Said Robin.
"Man, if you don't shut your ass up. With that little traffic light shit on. Matter fact, you looking some kinda McDonald's condiments. Did you ask for extra ketchup and they brought out that gay ass outfit for you? Bruh, it's 2015. Step ya game up!"
Beast Boy and Cyborg started laughing hard while Robin gotta angry. "Dude, you are freaking hilarious!"
"Thanks you little green ass mother fucker." He said showing the titans some love. Starfire flew over and gave him a big hug.
"Oh, the Dashie is most humorous!"
"Watch out girl. Choking me and shit. It is not my time to die. But on some real shit... ummm... who the fuck are y'all?"
"We're the Teen Titans!" Said Robin. Right when he heard that name, Dashie started to get exited.
"O TO THE M TO THE G G G! THE TITANS! I FUCKING LOVE Y'ALL MAN! MY LORD, I SHIP ROBSTAR, BBRAE, ALL THEM SHITS! YO YO, SLADE'S A LITTLE BITCH SON! WHAT!"
"Umm, thanks." Said Raven.
"Yo, can we go to the Tower? So you can show me some of y'all powers? Heh heh, that rhymed. But still, we out though right?"
"Sure dude. Lets go!" Said Beast Boy.
"Aight, son. Lead the way." Robin started shaking his head as the team led the outsider out the store.
At Titans Tower...
"Ddddd-ddddd- Damnnnnn! YO this place is off the chain! Yo, look at that TV! What is that that 52 inches or something? Oh shit, what games y'all got?"
"Mega Monkeys 4!" Cyborg said proudly.
"What the fuck is a Mega Monkeys 4? I know damn well Game Stop don't have that shit. Little Nickelodeon shit man. What else y'all got?"
"Umm we have some Nascar games, Super Mario Bros, Grand Theft Auto..." Said Beast Boy.
"Ooh shit. GTA5! Bruh lemme play that real quick." Dashie screamed.
"But I was gonna play." Beast Boy said waving his controller in his face.
"Oh word, you was gonna play? That's cool, I'll just take this off your hands. POW!" Dashie said swiping the controller from Beast Boy's hands.
"I'm just gonna cop a squat on your couch real quick." He said plopping down in the middle of Starfire and Raven. Then he started to flirt with them. Raven rolled her eyes and Starfire looked very uncomfortable.
"Wassup, little ladies. How y'all girlies doing?"
"We are doing quite well, thank you for asking." Starfire said.
"Aight, that's cool. So what, y'all got boyfriends or y'know? Are y'all down for a little ménage à trois?"
"Yes, they do have boyfriends." Robin said as him and Beast Boy went to the couch and put their arms around their girlfriends.
"Oh you serious?! Well bruh, I don't see Trey Songz around here, but I'm about to steal your girl!" He screamed as he tried to talk to Starfire.
"So Starfire, umm I got a question. Why the fuck are you orange? Now don't get me wrong, you pretty as fuck but what the hell girl? You bought some fucked up spray tan or something? And let's not forget about you, Rae Rae!"
"My name is Raven." She said getting annoyed.
"Alright, so um, you like some type of sorceress right?"
She sighed. "Yes."
"Aight that's cool. So do you and Harry Potter kick it sometimes? Y'all chill sometimes, think up little spells or some shit?"
"Dude, Harry Potter isn't real." Said Beast Boy.
Dashie scoffed. "Man if you don't get your Picolo looking ass out of here. Looking like a green ass vegetable and shit! I STILL DON'T FUCK WITH HEALTHY SHIT! You know what, where the homie Cyborg at?" He said going to the garage.
Garage...
Cyborg was trying to work a tune up on the T-Car when suddenly...
"BAYUMMMM!"
"Yo dude, why the hell are you so loud?!" Cyborg said angrily.
"Oh shit. I'm sorry, yo. I didn't want to disturb nobody." He said apologetically. "I didn't realize I was that loud man. Gosh, my bad son, my bad."
"This guy is worse than Beast Boy." Cyborg thought.
Dashie was watching Cyborg work on the T-Car. Then he went inside the car and took out his iPhone.
"What are you doing?!" Cyborg yelled.
"Yo this thing got an auxiliary cord? Bruh, I got all the hot tunes. I got that Rihanna joint, that Nicki Minaj, that Iggy Azalea."
"Who... you know what, never mind. Maybe you need to leave!" Cyborg said deathly calm.
"Aight man, I'm out." He said walking out of the garage.
Common Room...
"Look Dashie, not that is hasn't been a pleasure...you should probably be leaving now." Said Robin.
"Man this is that bull bull. What the hell did I do?"
"Alot." Said Raven. Beast Boy elbowed her and ushered Robin to continue.
"It's just that you being here could jeopardize your life by having enemies come after you, that's all." Robin lied.
"Aight man, that's cool. Imma leave, y'know get out y'all hair." Dashie said walking towards the exit. "Wait, can I tell y'all something important?"
"What?"
"Y'ALL ARE SOME BITCHES MAN, THAT'S WHY THE JUSTICE LEAGUE DON'T WANT Y'ALL!" He screamed running out the door. The titans just stared blankly.
"Well that was easier than expected." Raven said walking away.
OKAY EVERYONE, PRAY TO GOD I NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH WRITERS BLOCK AGAIN! THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION OF WHAT DASHIE WOULD SAY. REVIEW, FAVORITE, FLAME. SHOW ME YOUR OPINIONS, SON!