92Disclaimer: "If it's all the same to you, I think I'll have that drink now." –Loki, Avengers
A/N: Finally finished! Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, made it a favorite, or decided to follow along quietly. Much appreciated, very wonderful.
Chapter 18: Du vet at "Slutten" betyr slutten
Alternatively titled: In which Loki –more or less –has the last word.
The next few days were… weird.
I don't mean like, stalker, someone's-trying-to-kill-me weird, I mean like my-dad-is-being-nice-and-we're-getting-along weird.
Very weird, in our family.
I was still being followed everywhere I went, not only by Phil and S.H.I.E.L.D. as promised, but also but Hugin and Munin, who had apparently decided to make up for losing me by driving me insane.
That's mobster logic for you, Tony.
I spent a lot of time at Yggdrasil, recovering from being kidnapped and taking down a mob boss and finals week. I got to sit down and talk –really talk –to my mother for the first time in a long while, so that was nice. My dad never actually had a conversation with me, but he would come into whichever room I was in at the time and hover awkwardly in the doorway, staring at me as if afraid I would disappear if he took his eyes off of me. So that was nice.
I started going a little stir-crazy three days in.
"Gotcha!"
Okay, so sneaking out of the mansion was maybe not the best idea. Especially because the entire Family was on high-alert and extremely trigger-happy. I was lucky that it was Thor who caught me.
Literally, by the scruff of my neck. How embarrassing.
"Put me down, Thor!" I hissed.
"Loki?" he put me down and I shook my head back and forth. "What are you doing? It's three in the morning!"
I gave him a dirty look. "I'm aware. What are you doing out here?"
"I asked you first."
I growled. "I'm sick of sitting here with everyone holding their breath and tip-toeing around me. I'm going to see Darcy."
Darcy had left Yggdrasil on Saturday, and had later texted me from her new phone. We kept up a steady stream of text messages, but she hadn't been by the mansion again and I hadn't seen her since. Understandably, because she had to recover from finals week as much as I did, but I was still sore about the fact that the Family wouldn't leave me alone to go see her.
I had texted her at dinner, and she told me to come to the apartment she shared with Jane whenever I could get away. I took her at her word and here I was, at 3 AM, trying to escape.
And getting caught.
"You could come with me," I offered suddenly. "Jane and Darcy live together, you could see her!"
Thor's face brightened and then he looked sheepish. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"What –oh are you serious?"
Thor grinned at me, unabashed. My irrepressible big brother. "I was already on my way over there," he admitted. I rolled my eyes.
"Good," I said. "You can drive."
Darcy and Jane live in a very nice, classy apartment building that isn't falling apart and doesn't make weird sounds at night and also isn't inhabited by creepy people.
Maybe I should move.
Anyway, Thor and I stomped through the lobby of their building and into the elevator. I smiled nicely at the little old lady sharing the box with us and she clutched her purse closer to her chest and glared at me. That seemed rude to me, because I was smiling nicely, but then I remembered the scars and how they distorted my mouth. I probably looked like I was leering. Gross.
Thor was giving me sympathetic looks. I ignored him.
Darcy opened the door on the first knock. She'd been waiting up.
"Hi!" she beamed, jumping forward and putting her lips on mine. I kissed her back for a moment, enjoying the way she felt and smelled and tasted, and then Thor coughed pointedly and I remembered we were blocking the door and he was still in the hallway.
Darcy giggled. "Come in," she said. "Jane! Your boyfriend is here!"
"Darcy!" Jane Foster came out of her room, blushing. "He's not –I mean." She looked flustered. Thor looked besotted.
"Right," I said, and then Darcy was dragging me into another kiss.
"I missed you," she said when she let me up for air. "Where you been?"
I rolled my eyes. "The Family won't let me out of the house. I had to sneak out. Luckily, Thor was also sneaking out to see Jane." I smirked and she laughed.
"Oooh, yes," she peeked over her shoulder at the two awkward lovebirds. They had their heads bent close together, Thor nearly bending in half to reach Jane's. Darcy cooed.
"Just kiss already!" she stage-whispered to me.
I snorted.
And then Thor reached out and gently, tenderly cupped Jane Foster's face in his hands. She put her arms around his neck. Slowly, Thor started to lean down.
Jane made a small impatient noise and yanked him down to meet her.
They kissed like they did everything, with a stupid amount of gracefulness and perfection. It was terrible to watch.
Don't ask me why I didn't look away.
"Finally!" Darcy shrieked, ruining the moment. Thor and Jane jerked away from each other, blushing furiously. I clapped, because I couldn't resist.
"I give it an 8 point 5," I said. "Too bad you couldn't stick the landing."
Thor growled but Jane Foster actually giggled and his face softened into mush immediately. It was incredible.
"I think I'm okay with this, actually," I said to Darcy. She smirked.
"How about this?" she asked, and then she licked me.
000
Phil Coulson still wouldn't leave me alone, even a week later, but it was bearable now because Darcy had taken to accidentally kicking him every time she walked by and saying, "Oh, sorry, Phil, I didn't see you there."
It was hilarious.
You know about the next Thursday, because I skipped therapy, for obvious reasons, and had to make it up by sending you a progress report email. Confession, I made the whole thing up. Nothing I wrote in that report was real.
No wait, the bit with coming to terms with my brother's obsessive protective streak was real. Sort of.
A bit.
Anyway, backtracking to Tuesday, I took myself down to the Play Center. Ororo Munroe was strangely excited to see me. She even teared up a little.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she said, hugging me tightly and sniffling a little.
"Um," I said. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Keep in mind, Tony, that I was currently in company with at least three S.H.I.E.L.D. members, who had been told to, I don't know, make sure none of the kids at the Center decided to bite me or something I guess.
(That was sarcasm by the way.)
Ororo looked puzzled. "Your father told me what happened."
I stopped.
"What?"
"Odin," she repeated, slowly, as if afraid I had lost my memory. "Your father called us on Saturday to tell us what had happened. I was so worried –"
"My father? You know my father?"
"Of course," Ororo said, looking even more confused by my bewilderment. "He owns the Center."
He. Owns. The Center.
Odin d'Asgard. Owns. The Center.
I bit my tongue instead of screaming at Ororo. It wasn't her fault my dad was a controlling, mind-bending, overprotective, unmitigated bas–
Taking a deep breath, I said, unsteadily, "Oh."
She looked apologetic now. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spring that on you…
"No," I said, "it's not you. I'm… thanks. For worrying about me." I mustered a smile for her and she smiled back tentatively. Apparently, she knew about my reputation for emotional explosions too.
Wonderful.
"Can I see the kids?" I asked her. She brightened immediately.
"Oh, of course!" She led me through the Center to the big play room. "They've been taking such good care of the kitten," she assured me. "The little guy never wants for attention, that's for sure."
I nodded and made encouraging sounds and plotted my father's demise.
"Loki!" Leah screamed when she saw me, jumping up from where she had been brushing Natasha's hair into two little braids. She ran to throw her arms around my waist, squeezing tightly. Natasha followed more sedately, holding the ends of her hair patiently.
"Miss Ororo said you were sick," she said suspiciously, eyeing me for signs of illness. Or possibly trying to figure out the best way to catch me without letting go of her braids if I should suddenly collapse. You never knew with Natasha.
"I was," I said, nodding. "But I'm better now."
"Loki!" Johnny and Susan Storm came tumbling up with happy grins. Johnny had a black eye. I turned a furious look on Ororo and she stared back sorrowfully. The thing about the Center is, the kids who spend a lot of time there often have a good reason for not being at home.
"His dad is in prison," she said to me later. "And you know their mom is gone. The foster family they've been living with…"
She didn't need to finish the sentence. I scowled.
"I'll take care of it," I promised. She sighed.
"I was hoping you would say that," she said, relieved.
"Hey," I said to one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. guys as we were leaving. He raised his eyebrows and waited for me to finish.
"Get Phil over to the Storm's foster family," I said finally. "Please."
He nodded grimly and I relaxed. Phil would know what to do. And then we would do it.
With violence hopefully.
000
Our next Sunday dinner was… interesting.
And quiet.
I wasn't speaking to Odin, because he had lied to me and manipulated me and complained constantly about my job doing magic shows for an organization he owned.
Thor was trying to avoid embarrassing questions about his new relationship with Jane Foster, so he was keeping his head down and shoveling food into his mouth with a single-minded determination to not be noticed.
Mom was plotting ways to ask Thor embarrassing questions.
And Dad?
Dad cleared his throat. "You took care of the situation with the Storm's foster parents," he said. It wasn't a question. "Good job."
I raised my head and looked at him for the first time. He looked back at me with an earnest expression on his face.
I'm not stupid. I can recognize an olive branch without being beaten around the head with it.
"Thanks," I said. Dad nodded stiffly.
"Good," he said. "Just… good."
I waited a few more moments before I couldn't take it anymore. "Really, Dad? Really? The Center? You own the Center? You hired Ororo? Come on."
"I just wanted to keep an eye on you," he protested, as if this was a justification.
"What's next?" I ranted. "Do you know Selvig too? How about Professor Banner? Is everyone at Roger's University on your payroll?"
"Actually," my dad started.
"Stop!" I said, "I don't want to know. Dad, why can't you just… trust me?"
Odin sighed heavily. "I do trust you, Loki," he said. "I trust you to be smart and clever. I trust you to come up with a plan to bail your brother out of trouble. I trust you to get a job done when I ask and I trust you to live by yourself and support yourself."
"Really?" I interrupted, "Because, I gotta tell you, I haven't seen a lot of evidence that you trust me to do that last one –"
"Loki. Shut up."
I shut up.
"I can't trust you to look after yourself," my father said, the final nail in this coffin. "I can't. You are so smart, and so quick and so reckless. You have no idea what you're getting into half the time, and it doesn't slow you down a bit. For goodness' sake, Loki, you waltzed into an enemy's wedding ceremony in the flimsiest disguise I have ever seen in my entire life, and you didn't bat an eyelid. It never occurred to you that you might end up hurt or even killed. All that stood between me and losing both of my sons that day was the chance that Thrym wasn't as stupid as he looks, and that he would realize that if anything happened to you, there would be no place on earth he could hide from me."
"But he did realize," I pointed out. Thor coughed and kicked me under the table. Even Mom looked disappointed with the way I was deliberately missing the point.
My father gave me a grave smile. "I promise I will try to be less overbearing in the future," he offered.
Frankly, that was more than I had ever hoped to get, so I took it gladly. "I promise to try not to get myself into trouble," I offered in return.
"Deal," my dad said, twinkling his eyes at me.
Mom was beaming at us, seemingly forgetting about Thor for the moment, more interested in the reconciliation happening between Dad and I. I didn't blame her. It was a completely unprecedented occurrence.
Our kitchen didn't have doors, but somehow Heimdall managed to convey the impression of knocking when he stopped just inside the invisible line between kitchen and foyer.
"Yes, Heimdall, what is it?" my father asked without turning his head. Heimdall stepped forward and gave me a small smile.
"The dock workers are getting restless," he reported in his deep smooth voice. "What do you want us to do about the ones stirring up trouble? Some of them are threatening to get… rough."
My father leaned back in his seat and sighed. "Get rough first," he said to Heimdall. "Break some noses. Smash some crates. Make it flashy, make them notice."
Heimdall nodded. "As you say, Allfather." He turned and left the kitchen, ignoring the heated glare I sent his way. When he was out of range, I turned the look on my father.
"What?" he asked.
"Seriously?" I growled. "At the kitchen table, again. It never ends, does it? Every time I'm here, it's like someone somewhere in the family has a crisis that needs your attention and then we end up with mob business at the kitchen table."
"I really don't understand your hang up with the kitchen table," my father said calmly. "All of the most important things in my life have been conceived on this table."
"It's ridiculous," I grumbled. "People eat here."
"Yes," my father agreed, "but –"
"Wait," Thor interrupted, slowly. "Dad, don't you always say that Loki and I are the most important things in your life?"
A beat. My mother hid a grin.
"I do say that," Odin agreed, sitting back comfortably in his chair and beaming at his horrified children.
"Oh my god!" I jerked my hands off of the table and shoved my chair back, hands waving. "Ugh, that is… ugh!"
I was so disgusted I was at a loss for words. Congratulations, Dad, you've achieved the impossible.
Mom was laughing.
"This is not funny!" Thor exclaimed, examining the table around his plate as if looking for evidence and then turning somewhat green.
Odin roared with laughter. "Oh, come here, come here!" he stood up and grabbed my flailing arms, tugging me closer to him and away from the table. I stopped screeching and stared up at him. Dad didn't often hold me, so this standing-close thing was new.
He eyed me for a moment and then ran his hand over my hair, pleased when I didn't flinch. "You are," he said, completely serious now, "the most important thing in my life. You, your mother, and your brother, mean everything to me."
I held my breath.
"Be careful," Odin said. "You aren't just running around doing as you please with just anybody. That's my son you're throwing into danger. Be careful."
I nodded unsteadily, suddenly feeling very small. "I… okay, Dad." I said softly. "I will."
"Good," he nodded once, firmly, and patted my hair one more time before letting his hand fall away. He pushed me towards my chair and I gave him an incredulous look.
"Are you kidding me? I'm not sitting there now! You and Mom…"
"Don't say it!" Thor exclaimed. I shuddered.
"Can we please focus here?" my dad said. I threw my hands wide.
"On what?"
Dad smirked.
"On your mother's delicious dinner of course." Mom smiled pleasantly at us, amusement and mischief twinkling in her eyes and lifting the corners of her mouth.
Well. When he put it that way.
We sat.
000
Alright, Tony, that's it. Now you know everything.
I… actually, I feel better? That's… huh.
I'd love to tell you that you can stick your therapy writing crap up your nose, but, well.
I guess it… worked?
Huh.
Who knew.
I got home from my first day of the new semester of classes and found someone in my apartment.
I didn't stab them or shoot them or call the police and lose my mind.
That's good, because it was Darcy, and it's Not Good to stab someone when they're kissing you within an inch of your life.
That's one surprise I can get used to, I think.
A/N: The end guys! It's been a long journey for me, thanks for sticking with it through the (slightly shorter) part for you.
See you in the archives, cabbage patches.