Ok. This is my first author's note ever. I should explain this a little more in depth than the summary before you read.

Tatiana is my own creation. Read more about her here. If this goes right and I write more, most of the other characters will not be made up. They will be from various TV-shows, movies, and books.

On that note, this concept is like an ultra-cross over. Any of those obsessions listed on my profile page? Expect to see them here. I'll do my best to explain how I'm altering each fandom component, so they'll fit, in the story itself and in the author notes after each chapter. Hopefully it doesn't flop big-time.

Please please please tell me what you think.


The hidden worlds of earth are colliding. All the dimensions, all the different magics and lore of secret groups are hurling towards each other for an epic reenactment of the Big Bang. Don't get me wrong; it's great. All those who were told for so long that 'they alone held the weight of the world on their shoulders' are finding out they're… not that special. I mean, imagine the relief! But then, image the monsters, all the things that go bump in the night, realizing they could work together to finally rid themselves of the human race. It's downright terrifying! Never mind that as soon as they'd done that, they'd wipe each other off the map. It'd be similar to what would have happened if Hitler had won World War Two. (So long Japan!) However, if that ever did happen, humanity would not be around to appreciate the fact that the evils of the world were finally being helpful and killing each other. Humans would be history. Say… imagine some marathon runner, in their prime, finding themselves hurtling off a cliff. That's where the human race is headed.

Now why should I care? I'm not even remotely human. My name's Tatiana. Most people call me Ati. I'm around 600 years old and still going strong. I've got super strength, speed, smell and pretty much everything else, except for taste. And to be honest, that's a big plus. My diet isn't exactly five stars: no citrus salads or juicy steaks, just…. well, blood. 550 years of nothing but blood and it still creeps me out. I mean, sure, blood comes in "flavors," but let's be honest. How different can cow blood and sheep blood really be? If you didn't catch that, I'll spell it out: I'm a vampire. Now, don't worry—I'm strictly no-human. Well, unless it comes out of a plastic bag. Although, I guess all my blood comes out of bags. I've got a little something called a "soul" that makes traditional blood-sucking troublesome.

At this point, if you know anything about vampires, you have two problems. Since vampires are humans turned by a bite (and, you know, drinking some vampire blood), am I not at least part human? And more importantly—how can I have a soul? Humans lose their souls when they become vamps; a consciousness tends to get in the way of destruction, sucking, murder, and general mayhem—best that the demon takes the upper hand. That's vampire evolution for you.

The truth is… I've never been human. I'm actually from a little planet called Tath that's about the size of Mercury, but very earth-like. It's a few solar systems away from the star humans call Polaris. My people evolved remarkably similarly to humans: same basic anatomy, similar social structures, same chemical make-up and nutritional needs… our primary language is even similar to earth romantic languages. But we are by no means a perfect match; I can claim the title "alien", after all. Not to mention, it's probably why I'm still ensouled.

Anyway… several of my organs— or at least their equivalents—are jumbled around considerably in comparison to humans. For example, my heart is not on the left side of my chest. And no, I'm not telling you where it is. That's a secret I'd rather keep stakes away from. I am not ready to be dust. We also have much more resilient bones; I fell three stories when I was sixteen, and didn't fracture a single bone. Sorry, I can't tell you what we have besides calcium in there—it was 600 years ago! It wasn't exactly on top of my "facts to help stay undead" list after I became eternally 55. Well, 27ish for a human.

But this is beside the point. I was telling you how we're all going to die.

For me, it all started around 1473, almost ten years after my death. It wasn't an awesome time to be on earth, the 15th century. I mean, the Hundred Years War ended about twenty years before I... well, you know. Before we knew, the new big thing was the War of the Roses; thank goodness we avoided most of the conflict. And, despite the lack of technological advancements and more stable societies, people were quite nice. My life and early living death were quite pleasant. My parents were remarkably supportive: supplying blood and shelter from the sun—even wooden stakes for my nighttime hobby: hunting. This may have been a couple life-times ago, but I remember the night that set me on my first adventure as clear as yesterday.


I walked through the maze of streets. It had rained a few hours prior, hiding the sunset, but now the wet cobblestones shone dully in the moonlight. My senses tingled with false alarms, and my belly flip-flopped. I was left wondering if my supper had been a little off—maybe the blood was left out too long—while I roamed the city I currently called home: Florence.

I was so preoccupied that I did not notice the vampires until a voice called, "What's an elegant maiden such as yourself doing out so late? You could run across thieves or rapists!" Or something to that effect. Honestly, this particular vampire had great skill at saying incredibly unmemorable things. I remember he made a long speech after he turned me, but I couldn't repeat a single word—let alone what his point was.

Smiling, I turned and faced my sire, and was immediately rewarded with a shocked look. "Sorry, can you repeat that? I could swear you left out vampires. I really think you ought to warn pretty ladies about them too, seeing as you are one."

"You," he hissed. I heard similar sentiments amongst his friends.

"Me," I imitated. I took a breath to proclaim the dusting I was about to dole out when two of the vamps screamed and dissolved before my eyes. Standing behind them, with two stakes in hand, was a scandalously clad, kick-ass looking girl. As if to prove her capabilities, she promptly kicked a third vamp ten feet, across the street and into a brick wall.

I have to admit I was a bit dumbstruck for a few moments, but it passed quickly and I jumped into the fray. Have you ever dusted a vampire? If you haven't, you haven't lived. It's a little inappropriate of me, but I love the feeling of driving a stake into an evil creature and watching it dissolve around my weapon. I love the smell of vampire dust. And I love the knowledge that that dust is never going to kill another human. Ever. Maybe I love destroying vampires so much because it's the only kind of destruction my demon side can get without making my soul all ewy.

Once the nasties were dealt with, the mysterious girl and I were left staring at each other. Could this girl be another good vampire? Maybe I could finally find out why I was different!

"You're not possible."

I blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Slayers have strength, but there's only one. Vampires have strength, but they're evil. What are you?"

I hesitated. I mean—how are you supposed to respond to something like that? Needless to say, my hopes about getting my questions answered were effectively squashed. I don't remember what I said. Probably just looked like a deer in the headlights.

Next thing I know, I was against the wall with a stake to my throat. "What are you?"

I chose to go with the truth. "Um… A very confused good vampire who definitely has no intention of harming anyone whatsoever provided they don't satisfyingly burst into dust?" I received shock and confusion. "You helped me kill my sire or whatever you call him. Thanks for that." That got me a slight smile.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"How do I know I can trust you? You're the one with the pointy stick to my throat."

"Fair enough. But I'm not letting my guard down," The girl—slayer—stepped back.

"Right back at you." I couldn't help rubbing my throat.

"You do this often?"

"Every night. How about you, Slayer?"

"I'm only in town for a while. Maybe I'll see you again…"

It took me a few awkward moments to realize she expected me to fill in the gap: "Tatiana. Ati."

"Sara. Nice moves," she gave me a nod and started to move away. As an afterthought, she turned back to me, "Now, no blood sucking. I'd hate to dust you."

"Got it." I watched her continue down the moonlit street, fading into the darkness. I stood there longer than I should have, lost in thought. The dawn almost got me that night.


That was the moment when my whole life changed. After that chance encounter, it was only a matter of time; I was soon the friend of a Slayer—after nearly getting torn apart helping her destroy the city's biggest vampire nest. Needless to say, she was amazing. The Slayer. The one girl in the entire world, chosen to fight the darkness. The package comes with super strength, super speed, increased fighting skill and instincts… and a very short life. Most Slayers are not the Slayer for more than, oh, five years. And their deaths? Bloody. Ugly. Tragic. I've known three Slayers personally (before the worlds on earth began colliding), and two of them died in my arms. Sara was only 24—a particularly nasty vampire got her. I stayed with her Watcher, Charles, until he passed from old age. I knew Katherine and Thomas in the 1650s. She was picked off by a Ghora Demon. I just couldn't save her—present but useless. Thomas was never the same. And Nikki? I knew her in the 1970s. She was dead when I found her. A regular vamp got lucky with her. I wish I could have been there. If I had just dropped Robin off Bernard's a little sooner…. Well, the past is the past.

And my past is something else. After getting pulled into the world of demons at full throttle, I started to find out just how big earth really is. There are all sorts of magics. I got skewered by a demon hunter back in 1560 something—sword through the chest; he turned out to be a great friend. I found out that he was a "Water Master" and brimming with magic his elementals supplied him with. Have you ever seen a river nymph? Mischievous little things. In 1732 I ran into a guy who called himself "The Librarian." Apparently he tracked down ancient magic objects before nastier individuals did. You know, I actually saved his ass. He ended up chasing a pack of vamps without a clue of what they were. And there was that time that I got kidnapped by Torchwood and met and immortal guy named Captain Jack Harkness. I have to say, out of all the people I've met, he smells the most interesting: of space and far off worlds, of life and death, and has a slight bitter tang from all his time traveling.

Why am I telling you this? It's my life. My long, messy life, full of colliding worlds. I've met all sorts of cool people: heroes and hunters, witches and well-meaning werewolves…. But I've also met the bad. I've met blood sorcerers who use belts of wolf skin and human sacrifices to turn into murdering creatures. I've seen vengeful gods, angry at the loss of worship, and corrupt elementals, lurking just beneath busy streets craving blood. I've seen black magic turn good people into monsters, and crossroad demons lure similar victims into selling their souls. I once failed to save a girl from a deal, and met her again a few centuries later. She was a demon by then, tortured beyond repair in the depths of hell. At the time, I thought that was as bad as it could get.

None of the terrible things I've seen have posed incredible danger, because they were separate. Now, that's all changing. The tortured souls that can possess people, which are commonly called demons, are teaming up with the demons that live and breathe among us. Those demons are teaming up with vampires and other monsters—like werewolves, arachne, crocotta, and shape-shifters. And I haven't even started talking about Gaea or Apophis or any of those big-bads.

I won't bore you with anymore of my long history. After all, the world is ending. In fact—I doubt anyone but my little group is ever going to be able to read this. But, just in case we do succeed, but all die, it'd be nice to leave a record for future generations. Obviously, we can't just jump into the awful events we are currently dealing with—you'd be completely lost. We'll start at the beginning for each group that has collided to become the current unified fighting force.

So, for the lack of a better way to put it, "enjoy".


Can anyone name all the fandoms referenced in this first segment?