Breathing was already hard enough for Hazel Grace. But fear teaming up with the cancer made it even harder.
You see, she had been feeling worse than usual but most of the pain was coming from her stomach. She had mentioned this when she had last visited her doctor. After saying exactly what was going on, the doctors questioned Hazel to if she was pregnant. Hazel was just astounded, the thought had never occurred to her that she would get pregnant. Of course there was a chance because of that night with Augustus. Oh, what a prefect night that was. Hazel would give anything to relive those moments. The moments when Augustus had kissed her, and loved her. But he was gone now. It was out of the question.
"I have no idea." Hazel replied honestly.
Dr. Maria nodded and scribbled something down on the piece of paper. After, she encouraged Hazel to take a pregnancy test when she got home.
And now here she was. Waiting for the results.
It had never even crossed her mind she was able to get pregnant. She figured the cancer would have beaten out any chance of it. Even so, had she gotten pregnant, there would be no way the baby would make it out happy and healthy. Hazel knew if she was with child, one of them wouldn't make out of these next nine months. But she tried to push those thoughts away.
Having a baby wouldn't be the same without Augustus around. It would be his child, of course and Hazel would never forgive herself if she let their child grow up without the promise of having both parents. Being a kid with cancer sucks. But being the kid of a kid who has cancer probably wasn't much better.
But if she was pregnant it could be good. Her parents would be accepting of it. They wouldn't kick her out of the house or anything drastic. And she'd get to have a little part of Augustus back with her. It wouldn't be the same, obviously. But that would be better than just memories.
Hazel didn't want to look at the results of the test. She would be devastated either way. But she knew she had to. Hazel bit her lip. She had been through worse. She had fought cancer, for Christ's sake. She could do this.
Hazel took a deep breathe and slowly forced herself to look at the results. There were two pink lines. Hazel couldn't remember what that meant. She reached for the box. When she read it, she felt like she would faint.
The next few minutes were a blur. She remembered stumbling out of the bathroom and finding her mother. At some point tears had begun to flood, horribly. Her mother ran to her and held her, comfortingly. They stood there for a while, not speaking, even after Hazel had gained control of herself. They didn't need to say anything.
"Are your gonna be okay? You don't need me to come with you?" Hazel's mother asked, concerned.
hazel tried her best to smile. "No, Mom, I'll be fine."
Her mother nodded.
Hazel slowly opened the car door. It seemed like forever until she stepped onto the pavement. She took a deep breath as she gently shut the door, Philip close behind her. She stared up at the gates of the cemetery. She had come here plenty of time. But this time seemed harder. It was harder to walk pass the gates of the cemetery. It was harder to make her way through the headstones to find Augustus'. She felt as if there was a weight it ting on her chest.
"Hey, Gus." She smiled as she knelt down, next to the grave.
"Sorry I didn't bring you anything this time. I had to come here in a hurry. I had to tell you something."
She ran her fingers over the stone. It was still new and smooth. It was cold to the touch.
"So apparently, I was feeling worse than usual, I know...shocking. But I went to Dr. Maria and she told me I should take a pregnancy test and..."
Hazel stopped for a minute. Her voice was getting shaky and it was just too hard to talk. She took a few moments just to breath and regain herself.
"The test came back positive."
She couldn't stop the tears that fell onto the gravestone and grass. She just let them fall for a few minutes.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to get all emotional. It's just...I still miss you. So much. And raising this kid is going to be so strange without you. I just wish you were still here."
Hazel wasn't sure if Augustus could actually hear her. She liked to think he could, despite everything she ever believed in previously. It just have her hope. And that was hard to find in her case.
"But, uh, I should probably go. My moms waiting and she said I could only come for a little bit. I'll come visit you tomorrow don't worry. I love you, Augustus Waters." She kissed her fingers and touched them to the cold stone.
Talking to Augustus somehow brought in a new peace in her. It was almost as if he was there in spirit comforting her. He was telling her she could do this. No, Hazel decided, she had to this. She couldn't look at this new child inside of her as a curse. This was her future. And it wasn't the end of Augustus and Hazel. This had to be a new beginning. The next infinity.
Okay everyone, please don't hate me for this. My sister just told me she thought this was going to happen while she was watching the movie. So i figured I may as well write a story about it. Anyway I hope you like it. Thank you so much for reading it! Please review! It means the world to me!