16Copyright, Aviatrix8, 2015. Kill la Kill and all related characters are property of Trigger, and are used without permission.
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Kill la Kill fanfic:
"What I Did on my Week Off"
by Avi
It was 8 am, nearly a week after Lady Satsuki had announced the first Naturals Election. As students filed into Honnouji Academy, the Elite Four showed up one by one, greeting each other in turn.
"Sanageyama."
The blind swordsman nodded. "Gamagori."
"Dog," Jakuzure grinned at Inumuta.
"Snake."
Unconsciously, the Elite Four formed a line of their own, as they trooped into the school together.
"So, boys," began Jakuzure casually, "how did your week go?"
"Lousy," Gamagori grumbled. "The Automotive Airsoft Club made me wreck my brand-new car."
"Ooo, Lady Satsuki's isn't going to like that," teased Jakuzure. "How about the rest of you guys?"
"The Fencing Club crashed a pirate ship into my place and tried to take my uniform," said Sanagayama. "They didn't stand a chance though."
"Yeah, the Cheerleading Club tried to gang up on me, too." Jakuzure twirled her baton. "But I showed them who waves the baton around here." She then poked said baton at Inumuta.
"What about you, doggie? Anything fun happen to you?"
"The IT Club tried to steal my uniform while I was taking a bath."
Inumuta continued walking, until he suddenly realized he was by himself. He turned, to see the rest of the Elite Four staring blankly at him.
"They tried to steal your uniform..." began Gamagori.
"...while you were taking a bath?" finished Sanageyama, bewildered.
"Geez, how did you not get your ass kicked?" said Jakuzure. "You must've been totally outnumbered."
"And naked," added Sanageyama.
"Your faith in my abilities are so reassuring," retorted Inumuta. "Very well, I'll tell you." He pushed his glasses up. "It all began..."
xXx
Houka Inumuta's Apartment, 3 days ago
Like the rest of the Elite Four, Inumuta did have an apartment in the high-class section of Honno City… He just didn't use it very often, as he preferred his quarters at the academy. So, this place looked as tidy as an unoccupied hotel room (which it pretty much was).
One of the doors from the living room just happened to be open. As the view moved in, it was clear that this doorway led to a washroom. As the view moved closer, a three-star uniform with a high, furred collar could be seen hanging neatly on a hanger, upon a hook on the wall.
The scene changed. This was a clearly a bathroom, tiled in white. The view moved around until it paused on a naked figure, sitting on a low plastic stool, with their back partially turned. As the view moved in, it revealed the figure to be a teenage boy, spraying himself with a detachable shower head. As the view moved up, it revealed that the boy had blue hair.
The scene turned into a grainy LCD feed, one of many on the monitor of a laptop. This laptop sat in the lap of a teenaged boy of the skinny, dark-haired, glasses-wearing persuasion; he was surrounded by about a dozen other boys, with a similar appearance.
On the back of the laptop, printed in bold, red letters, were the words: IT Club President, Arufuru Mao.
The IT Club President pushed up his glasses, making them gleam.
"Okay, Inumuta's in the bath, there's no one else in the apartment, and his uniform is just hanging there! We should charge in and get it now!"
There was a pause.
"You put cameras in his bathroom?" asked one of the other members. "That's kind of creepy, dude."
The president buried his face in his hand.
"Only so we could steal Inumuta's uniform! I told you guys, the only time we could safely grab it, is if he took it off, and of course he'd have to take it off when he took a bath! Geez, I explained this at the last meeting..."
"So... He's really taking a bath now?" asked another member.
"Yes!"
"...Can I see?"
"No!" The president slammed his laptop shut. "We're charging in... NOW!"
The IT Club filed out of the room they were hiding in, and headed towards the apartment across the hallway.
As they stopped in front of the locked door, the president's two-star necktie snaked out, and fit itself into the key card lock.
There was a click. Looking smug, the president opened the door and entered the apartment, with the rest of the IT Club right behind him.
Once inside, the president headed straight for the open doorway he recognized from the live camera feed; Inumuta's uniform was still visible from out here. Placing his back against the wall beside the doorway, he peeked carefully around the corner.
The sliding door to the bath was still firmly shut, and the president could hear the sound of running water. He gestured to the rest of the IT Club, who scurried on over.
The president entered the washroom, with the IT Club close behind. He eagerly snatched the uniform off its hook, and ran a hand over the three-stars adorning its chest.
"Finally…" he breathed. "I've got my hands on a genuine three-star uniform!"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, gentlemen."
The entire IT Club turned, startled. The door to the bath had slid open, revealing a soaking wet Inumuta, still seated on the plastic stool.
"That uniform is just a cheap knockoff, I'm afraid," he added, wearing only a smirk.
The IT Club gazed at the uniform uncertainly, but the president just laughed.
"Hah! You think you can fool me, Inumuta? You're only saying that because I have your uniform, and without it, you're absolutely powerless! Get him guys!"
The rest of the IT Club looked hesitant.
"How come we have to fight him while you take the uniform?" asked a member.
"Yeah!" chimed in the rest.
"He's naked! How hard can it be?"
"Yeah, but we don't really fight much."
The president rolled his eyes. "Fine then... We'll all charge him!"
As one man, the IT Club dove at the smirking Inumuta... And fell right through him. Landing heavily in a pile, the IT Club slid across the wet floor.
The president was the first to recover. Surrounded by the groans of his fellow club members, he looked up just in time to see the naked figure of Inumuta flicker and disappear.
"Dammit! He's just a hologram!" he cried.
"That's right..." said a singsong voice by his ear.
Suddenly, the president flew backwards and slammed into a tiled wall.
"President!" cried the other club members.
"Oh dear," said the disembodied voice. "You'd better watch your step, it's awfully slippery in here."
The president's eyes widened in fear. "Inumuta? You... You're using Probe Regalia's optical camouflage? But I have your uniform!"
"I did warn you that that uniform was a cheap knockoff, didn't I? It's your own fault for not believing me."
The other IT club members began flying across the bathroom, clearly victims of Probe Regalia's invisible attacks. The president cringed.
"I'm very disappointed in all of you..." continued Inumuta. "But especially you, Mr. IT Club president. Did you honestly think you could outsmart the Information and Strategy Chair at his own game? Tsk, tsk."
The president yelped as unseen kicks began to rain all over his body.
"I've been wearing Probe Regalia this whole time, while waiting for you to show up. I let you copy my key card; I let you plant those cameras in my apartment... All to lead you in to a place of my choosing."
"And now... YOU'RE MINE!"
The bathroom wall smashed into pieces. There was a bunch of collective screams as the IT Club, president and all, sailed out of the bathroom and off the edge of the apartment building.
"Well, that takes care of that petty annoyance." Satisfied, Inumuta transformed out of Probe Regalia, and strolled back into the apartment.
xXx
"So it was all just a trap," mused Sanageyama.
Inumuta nodded. "I had overheard rumours that the IT Club was planning to steal my uniform while I was in the bath; I just had to make sure that I chose the time and place, not them."
"I hate to say it, but that was a pretty clever trick, dog," admitted Jakuzure.
"Why Jakuzure, you're making me blush," smirked Inumuta. She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Still, I can't believe anyone would fall for such an obvious ruse." Inumuta shook his head. "Honestly now, who would leave something so important as a three-star uniform just lying around, while they took a bath?"
There was an uncomfortable pause.
"Uh yeah, who would do that?" Sanageyama finally said.
"Honestly!" Jakuzure's voice didn't sound convincing though.
Gamagori remained silent, but looked away.
Inumuta buried his face in his hand. "Oh, for the love of... And you guys give me a hard time for not being as strong; at least I have some common sense!"
"I suppose we should be grateful that most of our fellow students aren't that bright either," muttered Jakuzure.
"Hey guys," said Gamagori, glancing at his watch. "It's almost time. We'd better get inside."
The rest of the Elite Four looked up, all business-like again. Then as a group, they trooped into Honnouji Academy.
xXxXx
I know it's a bit of a copout that you don't get to see the other two battles, but they were more throwaway references than anything else...
And I apologize for the IT club prez's name; I don't know any Japanese, but I came up with the pun and couldn't resist. (Sound it out carefully, and you get ROFLMAO. XP)