Since the moment Ratchet had re-onlined Jazz's spark, Prowl had sat by his brothers side constantly. He rarely left the room, working by his brother's side, refuelling by his brother's side, recharging by his brother's side. Every day, he would whisper to Jazz to online, to respond, to do anything except offline.
Prowl had been galaxies away when Jazz was offlined. He had felt his brother disappear, and when he had arrived on earth, he was told by Prime that Jazz had been ripped in half by Megatron.
"Where's Jazz Prime? Where's my brother?"
"I am sorry to inform you Prowl, but Jazz has been offlined by Megatron,"
"That's not possible. Jazz is smarter than to just go and offline in battle! You're lying!"
"I am sorry Prowl."
After that, Prowl had simply shut down really. He never left his office unless it was for recharge or Prime ordered him. Punishments were harsher and given without mercy for the smallest of offences. Even the twins had stopped pranking him for fear they might get on the wrong side of his now fearsome temper.
The void in his spark had been impossible to fill. Every tim he reached for Jazz along the brother bond, he was met with a rebound and an empty aching space where his brother should have been. Those months had been the worst.
He had been there as Ratchet attempted to use the allspark to bring back Jazz from the well of sparks, hoping against hope that Primus would see fit to give Jazz back to the world of the living. He had felt Jazz's conscience flicker to life, filling the empty void in his chest once again. Prowl was elated until Jazz did not online. One day past, then a week, then a month. Ratchet had eventually come to a conclusion about this mystery.
"There just isn't enough energy Prowl. Yes, Jazz is alive, but whether he onlines or not depends on how strong he is. He may never online. I am sorry."
"But there is still a chance, correct?"
"Yes, it is just very slim."
"I'll wait for Jazz that spark monitor stops, until then, I'm not giving up on him Ratchet."
So Prowl had waited, day and nights, orn after orn, he had waited. He had ignored his damn logic processor and asked to be able to work in the medbay. Ratchet had granted his request, though Prowl knew it was because he thought Jazz wouldn't make it and would simply fade away. But he was wrong. His brother was too fragging stubborn to lie down and offline. Jazz would never leave him. Jazz had promised him.
"After we bring the cons who destroyed Praxus to justice, will you leave? Sentinel Prime is looking for a Head of Special Ops too you know. Maybe you could go there."
"Ah'm not goin' anywhere. Ya need meh too much." Prowl stopped short at this, he could deny that, but it would be a lie.
"I do need you, yes and…."
"Ha! Ya admitted it! Finally!"
"Don't tease me please."
"Alrigh', Alrigh', but just so ya know, ya are nevah going to get rid of meh. Ah promise."
Prowl turned to Jazz and looked at his faceplate, gently bringing a hand up to it. Today would be six earth weeks since Jazz had onlined. Everyone had lost hope now, even Ratchet. It was only Prowl who remained hoping.
"Do you think we can rescue Ratchet from Kaon Jazz?"
"I dunno Prowler, but we gotta have hope see. Hope is the one thing tha' will keep us goin'. The only way to win this pit-slaggin' war is to have hope. If ya give up, ya got nothin'."
He lifted his head and retracted his hand as Ratchet entered the med-bay.
"Prowl, maybe it would be best to…"
"No Ratchet, that's not an option." Prowl ended the conversations abruptly. The medic nodded and turned away to his reports. Prowl looked back at Jazz. He owed Jazz his life, it would be poor repayment to offline him now.
"I believe this is the 6thtime you have saved me from offlining. I am once again in your debt Jazz."
"Ah've said it before, and ah'll say it again, ya owe me nothin'. Ah'm ya friend. Friends save eachother and expect nothin' in return Prowler."
Friends. That was the first time Jazz had called him a friend, and at that moment Prowl had realised that he did view Jazz as a friend. In fact, Jazz was his closest friend and his confidante. He turned to Jazz in his orns of need, Jazz had seen the small, broken parts of Prowl that were buried under the logic and not rejected him. In turn, Prowl accepted Jazz with all of his broken parts too. Jazz was Jazz, and without the flaws, he would not be Jazz.
Although, Prowl regretted that he screwed up a lot. Sometimes he was too harsh and there were fights between them. Prowl hated it when he fought with Jazz.
"If you had paid attention to the protocol Jazz, then maybe those mechs would be alive!"
"If ah had followed that slagging thing, more mechs would be dead! Listen to meh Prowl!"
"I have! And it is clear that because of your irresponsiblility, you have caused the death of some good mechs Jazz!"
"Well, ah'm sorry for not bein' perfect, Commander."
Jazz had stalked out of the room after that. Later on Prowl had felt terrible. Worse than slag that had been through a compactor. After he had gotten over being angry, he had been terrified that he would lose Jazz's friendship. Scared about losing the one closest to him, he had made Jazz a sorry present and a note, although words were not good enough for how sorry he was. He had then hidden in his office and buried himself in datapads.
"I'm still sorry." He whispered to Jazz. However, one of Jazz's best qualities was that he was extremely forgiving and rarely held a grudge.
Prowl lifted his head up as somebot banged on his office door.
"Come in." Jazz appeared in the doorway and instantly, Prowl prayed for Primus to smite him now. He considered hiding under the desk, ashamed to even look at Jazz. He looked down at the desk.
"Don' give meh none of tha' Prowl." Prowl winced, Jazz was definitely still angry with him and had probably come here to shout at him. He deserved a lot worse, considering that he had accused Jazz of being the cause of offlining for some mechs. "Why do ya think ah'm here?" The question startled Prowl.
"Probably to end our friendship. I said some hurtful, insulting and untrue things earlier and you probably hate me." Jazz said nothing. Prowl continued to stare at the desk.
"Prowler." Prowl studied the desk pattern. "Prowler, look at meh." Prowl refused to look. "Prowler.." Jazz put a hand on his faceplate and turned Prowl's faceplate up. Prowl stared into the mech's visor. "Ya are a pit-slaggin' fool. Ah'm not going to end our friendship? Are ya out of ya pit-fraggin' processor?! "
"But, I fragged up."
"We all frag up! Ya ain't perfect Prowl, we all make mistakes, doesn't mean ah'll the ya for 'em." Jazz's digit brushed away the energon tear that had appeared at the edge of Prowl's faceplate. "Ya really thought ah was going to hate ya…." Jazz said quietly. Prowl nodded. "C'mere." Jazz embraced him and Prowl whispered apologies over and over again.
"An' what's with the letter? Ya are an idiot Prowler. 'I hope we can still be friends', what the slag are ya on? Of course we can be friends ya stupid slagger!"
Prowl wiped the stray energon tear from the edge of his optic. Jazz was his friend, then he had found himself viewing Jazz as family. Jazz had taught him about how it was okay to feel, to be imperfect and still feel good about himself. Everything Prowl knew about feelings and how to manage them came from Jazz. If he lost Jazz, he would lose his emotions. He regretted not making the brother bond sooner, he regretted not having approached Jazz sooner. He regretted so many things and if ….no, when Jazz onlined, he would be there for him more than he ever had before.