"Oh come on, Quinn!"

"Babe, stop. I said no."

"You're not being fair," she pouts.

Quinn shakes her head as she slips on her heels. "Rachel, I'm just grabbing dinner with him. It's not even going to be that interesting. I don't see why you'd want to come."

"Because Q, you have never had a friend visit in New York. That I know of," she adds cautiously, but Quinn shakes her head. "Okay, see? You've never had a friend visit so therefore I've never met any of your friends. Not only is that weird, but this is a great chance for us to change that. I want to hear embarrassing stories about you during college and find out things you didn't intend to tell me until after we were already married."

Quinn laughs at that as she digs through her closet for shoes.

"Sooo, you mean like if I've ever done porn before?"

Rachel rolls her eyes. She had forgotten for a moment that all of Quinn's dirty laundry was already airing out to dry.

"I just don't see why I'm not allowed to come," until a thought crosses her mind. "Unless this is like a business meeting or something?" Rachel's mood shifts immediately. Quinn watches her facial expressions change from irritation, to frustration, to something unrecognizable.

It's been about a month since they agreed to work things out and things between them have been going well enough. Mainly because Rachel refuses to talk about work stuff. Quinn has mentioned things casually on a few occasions but more often than not, Rachel changes the subject. She's willing to accept on some level that Quinn enjoys her job and would like to continue doing it, but she is nowhere near the point of allowing her to actually do so or even wanting to talk about it in any detail.

"It's not a business meeting. Business may come up as Puck is the person who filters a lot of my offers, but I don't anticipate the whole meeting being about work. I haven't seen him in months."

Rachel nods, "Okay, then I'd like to come too."

Quinn just sighs. She has nothing to hide. Not anymore. But still, she was hoping to use this evening with Puck as a chance to explain the situation with Rachel and get the work stuff out of the way. She had every intention of introducing the two, in fact, she was excited for Puck to meet her, thinking for sure they would hit it off. But tonight was not the night she anticipated them meeting.

"Baby, tell you what," She approaches Rachel who already looks like she's about to argue with whatever Quinn is going to say, "We can all grab lunch or dinner tomorrow. Tonight I just want to catch up with him and talk shitty nonsense or whatever. I don't want you to feel excluded which you will because we have like a thousand inside jokes. So please, just stay here?"

Rachel opens her mouth to combat her, but Quinn quickly leans in to silence her with a deep kiss. It buys her a few more seconds to try a different approach.

"I'll miss you, though. The whole time."

"You could just take me with you," Rachel says with a small smile, but fortunately it's obvious to Quinn that she is no longer in the mood to argue.

Quinn has won this round.

"Or we could spend a few hours apart and make out like we haven't seen each other in years when I get home." Quinn smirks at her, giving her one last kiss on the cheek before pulling away to slip on her shoes.

"I cannot wait," Rachel says falling back onto the bed and the awkward tension that fills the room is palpable.

The sarcasm dripping from Rachel's voice tells Quinn that she's not impressed with her proposal.

That's been happening more and more lately. Quinn will suggest cuddling after dinner or a night out and Rachel will sarcastically respond with a "sounds magical" or something equally obvious. It breaks Quinn's heart every time because she knows it's not enough. She knows that every effort she makes to make Rachel happy will fall short because Rachel wants the whole thing, but she ignores the comments. One the one hand she has no clue what to say and on the other hand, she also reminds herself that it will take time. Rachel's willing to give this a chance but it will still take some getting used to.

She sighs gently and grabs her keys, coming over one final time to lean down and place her forehead against Rachel's.

"I love you."

Rachel smiles broadly and leans forward to kiss her. "Love you too."

Quinn pauses for a moment soaking the sight of her in before pulling away and out of the bedroom.

Just as she reaches for the front door handle, she hears a shuffling behind her and has but a moment to realize what's happening before Rachel throws herself into Quinn's body and hugs her close.

"Just one more for the road."

Quinn wraps her arms around her waist and softly caresses her back.

Rachel buries her face in Quinn's neck and takes a deep breath.

Yes, the last few weeks have been tough because all she wants to do is make love to Quinn.

Yes, the last few weeks have challenged Rachel in a way she never thought possible.

But she loves this woman. There is no doubt about it. And though it is certainly difficult respecting Quinn's many boundaries, she's trying her hardest to learn to be okay with this.

So she kisses her one final time before pulling away, "Have fun, baby."

"Okay."

"But not too much fun."

"Okay," Quinn laughs as she pulls away. She really needs to get going. She's already so late.

"And text me when you get there so I know you made it safely."

"Okay Rach, I have to go."

"Yeah, okay." Quinn opens the door and turns around one more time to look at her. The expression on Rachel's face reminds her of a depressed puppy, looking as if she's being forsaken forever.

"Goodbye."

"Bye," Rachel whispers as she watches Quinn walk down the hall towards the elevator.

She doesn't shut the door until she sees Quinn wave through the nearly closed doors.

She sighs against the door and after a few moments to collect herself, she pushes away from the door already anticipating a few hours of alone time which she will fill easily with Broadway musicals and masturbation.


She spots him instantly, leaned up against the bar flirting with some unsuspecting blonde bimbo eating up his every word. She shakes her head at him and approaches him from behind, thinking of how she wants to play this situation.

"Oh Mr. Puckerman, funny running into you here," they both turn towards her, Puck is wearing a huge smile whereas the girl looks furious that someone is intruding on her time with him.

"I know your appointment isn't for a few more days, and surely this defies standard protocol, but since we're both here, I should let you know sooner rather than later that all 8 of your tests came back positive for Hepatitis, Crabs, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, genital herpes, and few other things I wouldn't feel comfortable naming in the presence of anyone else." She gives a quick, sad smile over to the blonde before turning her attention back to him.

He's smirking in a way she knows to mean that she will pay for this later, but she just presses forward with an internal smirk of her own.

"Anyway, I would recommend bringing your list of past sexual partners so we can make those phone calls. And," she turns to the mystery woman, smiling sadly, "you may want to come with him and get tested yourself, just to be safe."

Before her sentence is fully out, the blonde is shaking her head and slipping off of the stool. "No no! He and I aren't together," she nearly screams, sounding utterly repulsed at the thought. "I just met him. And I was actually just leaving." She says hurriedly leaving the bar area without so much as a glance or a goodbye to Puck and once she's out of earshot, he turns back towards her with a playful scowl on his face.

"You know you keep telling me you're a lesbian but then you do shit like that and it really makes me wonder if you actually want a piece of the Puckasaurus after all."

She laughs and steps into him for a hug. He's so much taller than her and she's always loved that about him. She settles her head on his broad chest and he holds her tightly.

"It just hit me how much I missed you," Quinn whispers into him.

"Really? Because it hit me the second you left." Quinn's eyes close, just enjoying the sound of his voice.

Is it possible that it's only been 4 months since they last saw each other?

"I got us a table if you're ready to eat," he says pulling away just so.

She nods and he keeps one arm wrapped around her shoulder as they walk over to a small table for two by the window. He pulls out a chair for her and waits until she's nearly seated to push it back in, then sits across from her.

"When did you become such a gentleman?" She tries to say it casually, but his kindness, coupled with their separation, is making her a little emotional.

He just shrugs and looks down at the menus and she knows that's as much as she's going to get from him. After such an intense start to their reunion, it takes a few minutes for them to get back to their casual, fun demeanor but once they order and Puck slouches a little in his seat, it's easier to get back to.

"So how've you been?" She asks, sipping on her water.

"Can't complain, I guess. Shits been busy at work but it's a job so I'll take it."

Quinn nods, knowing how much Puck hates work. He was a business major at Yale because they told him he had to graduate eventually and that meant picking a major. Any major. So he had chosen business because it seemed practical. Now he wore a suit every day and worked in an office from 9-5 doing God knows what in a decent sized cubicle that he shared with one other guy.

His passion had been football. His only desire in life had been to play in the pros. And Quinn is certain that it would've happened had he not been injured in his last college game. He had messed up his knee in such a way that it didn't seem possible to ever play rigorous sports again and it was then that he became grateful for his business degree. He now worked at an insurance company and made decent money and seemed relatively happy.

"That's good. And how about my stuff? Are we doing okay?"

Puck smiles wider this time. She's always found it a bit strange that he enjoys managing her pornographic business affairs more than his actual job. But if she's being completely honest, he's great at it and so she pays him 7% of her monthly earnings to manage her business affairs.

"Shit, I can't believe I didn't shout it at you the second we sat down. Quinn, you won't believe who called me last week."

Quinn quirks an eyebrow, "Who?"

"Dave Wallace from AVN!"

Quinn's smile waivers. "Who the hell is he? Was he pitching something?"

Puck looks at her like she's lost her mind. "Are you fucking kidding me?! I swear I know more about this industry than you do! No, he's from the Adult Video News!"

Quinn still isn't sure what to make of any of this. "Okay, just tell me what he wants because obviously I have no fucking clue."

Puck laughs and shakes his head. "Unbelievable. Anyway, Wallace called to let me know that a certain someone has been invited to the AVN Awards this year."

Now that gets her attention.

Though she has never watched the awards, she certainly knows what they are. Once a year, the AVN Awards are held as a sort of Oscars for the porn industry. And though she never expected an invite being a relatively new star, she certainly is excited to hear that she has received one.

"No fucking way!"

Puck just smirks at her. "Yes ma'am. But that's not even the best part."

Quinn can't imagine what more there could be.

"You've been nominated," Puck nearly whispers as if this is sacred information.

The smile immediately falls from her face and is replaced with utter surprise.

"Are you serious?"

"Yup. Best Oral, Best Amateur Release, Best Solo, Best Actress and Best New Starlet. 5 categories Quinn! You're like the Taylor Swift of porn!"

She laughs aloud with him and finds herself getting slightly choked up.

In total, she's probably made about 20 films in the last year, a few of which were especially popular but never because of her. Mainly because she's worked with some pretty well-known guys from the amateur world. But even still, she's never considered the possibility of being nominated for anything she's done so far. She's so new, so unknown compared to other big names with more views and more followers than her. Though she has to admit that for a newcomer, she has made a surprisingly strong name for herself.

She runs her fingers through her hair and reminds herself to breath.

"This is insane. I cannot believe it."

"It gets better. We got a call from Reality Kings again."

She shakes her head immediately, not at all interested in signing something with them. Especially now.

"No no, hear me out, they don't want a contract. They didn't even mention it. They knew you'd say no. Instead they're asking for you to do a few exclusives with them. You with three of their top pros in 4 scenes and they're offering some serious money Quinn. They're paying-"

Quinn puts up her hand to stop him from saying more, knowing that if she hears the amount, she'll make a rash decision which she is no longer in any position to do.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to know how much it pays. You have to tell them no."

Puck instantly looks taken aback. "What? Quinn…I can't do that. What they're offering you is insane. Like…buy a new house and car in cash and take the next couple of years off from work insane."

Quinn lowers her head onto the table and sighs loudly. "Believe me Puck, I can only imagine what they're offering. And you know that if I had no one to answer to, I would say yes…"

She hears Puck sigh and lean back in his seat. "But Rachel won't let you," she can't help but think there is some contempt in the way he says her name and it unsettles her.

She lifts her head from the table and looks him directly in the eyes.

"No, it's not like she controls me. She just isn't comfortable with this kind of stuff yet. And I told her we were going to take this at her pace."

"So what? You're just going to not work until she gives you the 'okay'?"

Quinn shrugs, feeling like a child when she thinks about it that way.

Puck rolls his eyes. "Okay, fine whatever. I'll tell them you'll take some time to consider it. In the meantime, you should really talk to her. Have you guys even discussed it since you got back together?"

"No, not really. She…she always changes the subject. I want to have a discussion about it. I think it will help, but I just don't think she can stomach that right now. It would already be hard to talk about if we were having sex, but the fact that we're not is only making the porn thing worse. I think…I think she's already starting to hate me for holding out."

Puck leans back and his seat and huffs out a breath. He already doesn't like Rachel.

He's been on the receiving end of several emails where Quinn has detailed her attempts to get Rachel to at least talk about her career and every time the subject has been changed or altogether rejected. As much as Quinn tries to pretend it's not a huge deal, he knows her and he can tell that it really upsets her and he hates more than anything that there's nothing he can do about it.

He stares at her for a full minute, doing his best to squash any comments about how much Rachel sucks or how he doesn't think she's right for Quinn before he finally finds something to say that he thinks may be helpful.

"I know it sounds crazy, but maybe you two should sit down and watch some of your videos together. Maybe you could desensitize her to it and then she wouldn't think it was so taboo anymore?"

Quinn can't help but laugh at that. She can only imagine Rachel passing out if she ever suggested something like that.

"You don't know Rachel, she would never go for that," Quinn says it with mirth in her voice but sadness in her eyes.

"And at this point, I don't want to," Puck says rather loudly. A few heads turn their way and both of their cheeks tinge with red in embarrassment.

They both look off in random directions, unsure of what to say, until he speaks again, much calmer this time.

"Look, baby mama, all I'm saying is that if you want this to work, you have to find a way to get past the porn thing. You may not have been completely honest with her, but I know you do enjoy this job. It may not be what you envisioned, but still, we can all agree this is the easiest money we've ever made. Is this the job you're going to have for the rest of your life? Maybe. Maybe not. But it's where you are in your life right now and she needs to come to terms with that. Just like you've had to deal with her having school during the day."

Quinn snorts. As Rachel had said, those two things were not at all similar. Quinn having to find some way to occupy herself from 8-2 Monday through Thursday wasn't nearly as serious as Rachel needing to be okay with her being a porn star, but she nods anyway, understanding what he means.

"Yeah, I guess," she says effectively ending the conversation just as their Caesar salads arrive. "And don't call me baby mama, you know how I hate that," she adds quietly.

He nods, poking at his salad and they focus on eating for a solemn few minutes.

Though at first it seemed like they weren't going to survive it, that had been the very thing to really solidify their bond together. Senior year of college, just after finals, she had agreed to a drunken gangbang with Puck and a bunch of other guys from school. And somehow she had ended up pregnant and for the longest time, she didn't care to know how it happened or who the father was. There had been a video that made its way throughout the university but she had always been too embarrassed to watch.

Until one day, shortly after her breakup with Layla, Puck had offered to take her to lunch. It was then that he confessed that watching the video again confirmed what he had suspected. He was the one that had impregnated her. He had tried to apologize profusely. He had been beyond wasted and no one had a condom his size and he wasn't thinking properly.

But none of that mattered because despite his apologies, she had lost everything. Because of his stupidity, she reasoned, she had lost who she had assumed was the love of her life.

They hadn't spoken for nearly a month after that, until one day he approached her at a coffee shop table, so similar to the way they first met, and he sat across from her and immediately broke down in tears.

She had been so surprised, so in shock to see the usually so stoic Noah Puckerman crying with his head in his hands.

After a few minutes, he ran his large hand over his face and worked up the clarity to speak. He told her how sorry he was. And more than that, he told her how sad he was. That she had gotten rid of their baby and even told her that he was upset with her for making that decision on her own.

She recalls thinking in the moment that it was her body and it didn't matter who the father was because it was her choice to make and that getting rid of the baby was a better alternative than losing her entire livelihood. She hadn't considered even for a moment what the father might think because at the time she didn't know who the father even was. But then he was sitting right in front of her, crying for their lost child, just as she had done so often over the past few weeks, and she couldn't help but feel a surge of guilt course through her.

Sure, the decision to get an abortion was ultimately hers to make, but that didn't feel like a legitimate excuse for her selfishness when she had to watch the father of her unborn child deal with the consequences of her actions.

It was in that moment that she and Puck had mended their friendship. They took some time to make apologies on both ends and they even allowed themselves to fantasize about what an awesome, good looking kid they would've made together. And then they had shared a long hug and agreed to let the past be the past.

But every once in a while, he refers to her as 'baby mama' and she is reminded of their baby and everything she could've had and it saddens her heart.

"Sorry for bringing that shit up."

Quinn just nods, accepting his apology.

They're food arrives and it manages to lighten the mood once more.

Quinn takes a bite of her risotto and leans back, "So, since Rachel probably won't want to go to the awards with me…wanna be my plus one?"

He lifts his head, his mouth full of food but still wide open in surprise. "Seriously?"

She smirks at him. "Only if you close your fucking mouth. Disgusting."

He quickly chews his food and wipes his mouth with a napkin before speaking again.

"Don't get my hopes up Quinn, are you being 100% serious?"

"Yes, I am. The odds of her wanting to go to something that celebrates my work is very unlikely and I know how hot you think all the women are."

He nods, already allowing his head to fantasize about the gorgeous women he'll have the opportunity to interact with. His biggest complaint is always that he handles the business aspects of her work, but never gets to meet anyone cool or watch any of the action unfold.

"Quinn, I will owe you huge if I actually get to go, but I really do think you should ask Rachel if she would want to go. The awards aren't until the New Year so you definitely have 4 or 5 months to work everything out. You should take advantage of that time."

It's hard for her to believe just how much he's grown since she met him four years ago and he never ceases to amaze her with his sporadic wisdom.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe I'll talk to her about it when I get home."

Puck nods, apparently satisfied with that answer. They sit in silence for a few minutes before he looks up at her excitedly.

"Speaking of home…I'm not quite ready to let you go yet. Let's hit up a bar after this. I am dying to see what the night life is like here. Anything has to be better than Connecticut."

She laughs at that, "Yeah, it's way better but…I promised Rachel I'd be home at a reasonable hour."

"Psh, you're home at a reasonable hour every fucking night. You spend like every day with her. Come out and actually have some fun with someone of legal age."

"We do not hang out every day," she shoots back at him and by the look on his face he too knows it's a bold faced lie.

Ever since Rachel started back to school, they've had less time during the day to be together so they always make the most of their evenings. Rachel still has work for a few hours every other night so really, they've had significantly less alone time.

But Puck's offer is so tempting. She hasn't had more than a glass of wine in one sitting since she's met Rachel. She can't take her out to bars nor does Rachel feel comfortable with underage drinking. And while she is no party animal, she still likes to have a good time and so she finds herself agreeing far too easily.

"Sure let's do it. Let me just text Rach to let her know."

Puck scoffs and makes a whipping motion with his hand. "Oh come the fuck on, babe. It's not even 8 yet. We won't be out long. But if you text her, she seems like the type to make you feel so guilty about shit you haven't even done that you'll change your mind."

He sees that Quinn is still skeptical. She has never been in a situation like this with Rachel because her entire time here in New York has been spent with Rachel. But Puck makes a fair point. Rachel isn't her mother, she doesn't have to check in at 8pm about how their plans are changing.

"I promise I'll have you home before midnight, princess."

His smug expression bugs her and she throws a piece of broccoli at him.

"Shut up. It's fine. We'll go out and if it starts getting late, I'll text her then."

Quinn is determined to not look like one of those girlfriends who can't go an hour without their significant other, so when he holds out his hand clearly asking for her phone, she pulls it from her pocket with little hesitance and slides it to him.

"Great. Now, I'll take care of this until 12. Then we'll text her. Now, let's go get fucked up."

Before she can even protest and tell him about how she and Rachel wake up at 5 to go running on weekdays so she can't be too drunk, his hand is in the air.

"Excuse me, can we get the check?" He asks so obnoxiously that she's sure the whole establishment has heard. "My friend and I need to go have fun before her girlfriend calls to ruin the night!"

She covers her face and sinks down into her seat.

Great, yet another restaurant I can never come back to.


She has no concept of time since she has forgone a watch and handed over her phone. But honestly, after the first 3 shots, she stops caring about the time or what Rachel is thinking about her absence.

She has a drink in one hand and a girl's hand in the other, leading her to their table off the dance floor. She's been dancing all night long with this brunette, buying drinks for the both of them and having more fun than she's had in the last month combined.

The thought saddens her for a moment, even in her happy drunken state. She loves Rachel, of course, but things have been rather tense the last few weeks. It feels like Rachel is walking on eggshells around her, afraid to touch too much or kiss her too long or too passionately. And in return, she's been feeling guilty. For turning down Rachel's advances when they get too heated and for actually wanting to get back to her job.

Quinn shakes her head free of any guilt and focuses on the people at the table, yelling animatedly to one another over the music.

Puck was right. She needed to get out and have fun and this night has certainly provided her with plenty of that, mostly thanks to the two women hanging on their every word.

The two girls had approached them early on in the night and while Puck and Maddy danced, she sat awkwardly talking to Carly. Carly had assumed by her outfit choice that she was a lesbian, which wasn't unfair.

Shortly after Quinn and Puck had become friends in college, she realized that sundresses while hanging out with him just weren't practical. He liked to skateboard and go to the beach to surf when the waves in New Haven were high enough. So she had adopted a new look just for him. She had bought a few pairs of fitting skater shorts, a few longer tank tops, and some button ups for nicer occasions.

For tonight's outing, she had chosen a navy button up with anchors on it and a pair of skin tight blue jeans with Oxfords to match and her lesbian hipster look must have immediately alerted the friendly brunette to her sexual preference.

Carly had talked her ear off about her interests and her work and finally Quinn had had enough of her mindless chatter. She ordered two shots and encouraged the newly 21 year old to drink with her. And that had been the beginning of the end. From there, they had several more shots spread throughout the night with strong drinks in between.

Now Quinn is drunk and Carly is handsy, but it feels almost nice to have someone touching her without them constantly fearing that it's too much.

But despite the fact that she is definitely drunker than she had originally anticipated being and she has no desire to go home yet, she still has no intention of cheating on Rachel or going home with Carly.

So when Carly suggests body shots, she has to think about that one. Are body shots cheating?

Sober Quinn would say yes. And Rachel would agree with sober Quinn. But drunk Quinn somehow reasons that though it may be mildly inappropriate, it is certainly not a crime and she agrees. She asks Puck to get her two shots of tequila and some salt and when he returns, he steals one for himself to do with Madison.

While Madison lays on the table, lifting her shirt, Carly remains upright and licks her lips and her index finger as Quinn watches. She's sure the action is supposed to tease her or turn her on, but she just stands there, curious as to where this is going.

She sprinkles a little salt onto her finger then rubs the salt onto her lips and at once, even drunk Quinn knows that's not allowed. The idea was for her to lick it off of her body, which was bad enough. Licking it off of her lips is the most disgusting thing ever, leaving her with no choice but to kiss her to suck the salt off. And that definitely sounds like cheating.

She shakes her head and takes an unconscious step back, but Puck puts his hands on her shoulder and leans close to her.

"You're not into this kinda stuff, so it's totally fair game."

It's such flawed logic, and if only she were sober, she would see that. But she's drunk out of her mind and so she quickly leans forward to suck eagerly on Carly's lips. The taste is bitter, but she deals with it, not at all stopping to enjoy the feeling of her lips on someone else's.

The shot she's supposed to drink is nestled in between her breast and she lazily rolls her eyes as she leans down to pick up with her mouth and tip it back. Then she leans forward once more to retrieve the newly placed lime from between Carly's lips.

She sucks on it to relieve the burning in her throat and winces at the taste.

"Another round? Perhaps somewhere a little more scandalous?" Puck asks the table but only seems to have eyes for the blonde in front of him, running her hands all over his body.

Before Quinn can respond that she may need some time otherwise she'll be sick, Carly speaks up, but really only for her ears.

"Actually, it's getting late. Wanna get out of here?"

She is staring into her eyes and if she were interested in sex and not in love with someone else, this girl would be her undoing.

"Um, no, I can't. I have-"

"Shit fucking shit, Quinn."

Quinn immediately turns towards Puck who looks like he has seen a ghost. And when she looks down into his hand, she thinks she takes on his expression.

Her phone is lit up with the time and more notifications than she's ever had in her life and she knows exactly who they're from.


They don't even say goodbye to the girls, and she thinks for sure she'll hear about that in the car on the way home, but Puck just keeps apologizing for not watching the clock better. And maybe in the morning, she'll be more upset with him, but right now, she's mainly upset with herself.

I should've never agreed to go out. She's literally going to murder me.

The last text had been 30 minutes ago, the text that caused her phone to vibrate hard enough for Puck to finally feel it. Though how he missed the other 20 texts and 6 calls, she'll never know.

Quinn, what time will you be home?

Baby?

Quinn, it's getting kind of late. Will you just call to let me know you're okay?

Baby, I'm really getting worried and it's after midnight. Please call me asap.

QUINN! ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE ARE YOU? I HAVE CALLED, TEXTED, LEFT VOICEMAILS AND STILL NOTHING FROM YOU. CALL ME.

If she thought the texts were bad, listening to the voicemails had been positively heartbreaking. Rachel sounded like she had been crying and Quinn felt awful. She wanted to call and tell her she was fine in the cab ride over but Puck had suggested she just wait. It was only a 20 minute ride and then she could explain things in person.

So that's what she did. But now as she's drunkenly trying to put her key in the lock and in retrospect, it might have been better to call first so Rachel could at least get the door for her.

But her struggling is quickly put to an end when the door flies open, revealing a frantic, frazzled looking Rachel Berry.

She opens her mouth to immediately apologize, but Rachel pulls her in by the arm as she begins what is sure to be a night of screaming.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, QUINN?"

Quinn swallows and tries to prepare and filter her drunken thoughts before allowing them to come out of her mouth, lest she say something regrettable.

"I was out having a good time. Just chill baby."

Something like that.

Where the hell was her filter?

Oh right, it retired for bed early, just as it did anytime she drank more than a couple glasses of anything.

Rachel freezes and she tries to back track.

"No no, I—that wasn't supposed to be the thing out of my mouth for the first words. I was gonna say sorry…yeah yeah…sorry."

For as drunk as she is, she is quite impressed with that sentence. Not perfect but it gets the point across.

Rachel squints and stares at her for a minute before shaking her head.

"You're wasted."

Quinn shakes her head but stops once she realizes how it makes the room spin.

"I cannot believe this." She runs her fingers through her hair in a way that really makes Quinn worry that she will literally pull her hair out.

Quinn opens her mouth to speak, but immediately closes it and places her hand over her lips. Realizing what's about to happen, she takes off towards the bathroom, leaving a furious Rachel to shake her head in utter disbelief.

She throws everything back up. The vodka, the rum, the body shots, even the risotto. Which was the best she'd ever had, so she really feels sad to see it go. When she finally stops vomiting, she lays her head on the toilet and focuses on just breathing.

She's still so so drunk. And if she were back in college, this would be the moment she washes her mouth out and heads back to the party, ready for whatever is next.

But what awaits her outside of this bathroom is no party and she is most definitely not ready.

After at least half an hour of waiting for the nausea to pass, she finally manages to scramble to her feet and turn on the shower.

She steps into the tub and lets the steaming hot water run over her and instantly she feels better. Not sober, but better. After 15 minutes trying to soak off the stench of alcohol and smoke, she reappears in the bedroom in just a towel to find clothes.

Surprisingly, Rachel is in bed and looks to be asleep already so Quinn walks around quietly, preparing for bed herself.

She climbs in a few minutes later, teeth brushed and hair dried as much as possible and lays on her side to face Rachel. This is the first night ever that Rachel has laid on her side of the bed. Usually they meet in the middle and spoon or Rachel will lay her head on Quinn's chest, but tonight she feels the loneliness on her own side of the bed.

She watches Rachel's even breathing and wants so badly to lean over and just touch her, but she knows she's in trouble.

But the fact that she shouldn't isn't enough to stop her as her hand reaches out to push the hair away from Rachel's face.

"I just wanted to have fun. I didn't mean to make you worry," she whispers to seemingly no one, but she is shocked when she gets a reply.

"I didn't realize that getting shit-faced was your idea of fun." Rachel sounds tired and downright miserable.

"My idea of fun has changed since I met you and everything…It's just that with Puck in town, we just fell back into old habits. I really am sorry baby."

Rachel sighs and turns over, her back now facing Quinn. She says nothing for a few minutes and Quinn closes her eyes, accepting that the conversation is over. And just as she begins to succumb to sleep, Rachel speaks softly.

"You call it an old habit but I can't help but wonder if it's just who you really are."

Quinn hears it, vaguely, and purposely chooses not to answer.

Because Rachel makes a fair point.

She thought for sure she was over the porn, she thought she wanted to start over and start fresh but having to defend herself and her profession to Rachel made her realize that she by no means hates it. Is it her passion? No. She isn't sure what she's passionate about. And like Puck said, is she going to be doing it for the rest of her life? Probably not. But right now she enjoys the easy money and relaxed schedule.

She also thought for sure she was over the party scene. She used to party a lot with Puck and was used to Layla not worrying too much about her because she trusted her. She used to get drunk and crash at Puck's or wherever else the party was being held and Layla was good about not hovering. After the pregnancy, she had refrained from parties but there also hadn't been too many opportunities after graduating college. Going out with Puck tonight had reminded her of all the fun she could have. She had forgotten what it felt like to go out and drink too much and dance all night.

And the realization that she misses that life is her last thought before falling into a restless asleep.

######

Guys. I am so sorry. I didn't expect summer to be so busy and getting back to school was rough. And by the time I was ready to start writing again, I had to reread the last few chapters of both stories to get a feel for them all over again. That being said, we should be back on track with semi regular updates of either story! Again, I am so sorry to have kept you waiting so long. I know one particular review of this piece said of course I had given up on my stories, but please know that I am a writer as well as a reader and I know how frustrating it is when stories I love go unfinished. It's the worst feeling to never get that closure, so I am going to finish both Contracts and Bed of Lies! Promise!

Anyway, I hope you guys aren't too upset and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. This chapter was a hard chapter to write because it was like writing the old version of Quinn when I had become accustomed to this new, sort of post-porn Quinn. But it was not without purpose that this chapter existed.

Lastly, I love you guys and appreciate your follows, favorites, reviews, and most importantly, your patience! Until next time!