His Chef, Surprisingly Useful

By Major Monty the Straw Vulcan

Disclaimer: First off, this highly references volumes XII & XIII of the manga. If you haven't read them yet, I would not suggest reading this. Second, this story is about CielXElizabeth. If you're not a fan of that, again, I would not suggest reading this story. Anyway, I got this idea as I was reading volume XII, specifically the part where Elizabeth starts whipping out dual swords .and dicing up zombies. Which is of course, one of the best scenes in the manga. Then I remembered that at this point Ciel is thirteen…and thus, this story was born.

Author's Note: It appears the wrong document was put in this story. Thank you to everyone who made me aware of this mistake on my part. I apologize for the inconvenience, and hope you can now enjoy the story.

(Sebastian' POV)

We were going through the same morning routine we had gone through for almost three years. Young Master was truly a creature of habit; anyone who tried to disrupt his rituals would be as swiftly punished. This was probably why he seemed quite agitated with everyone around him. In his ideal world, everyone would do the same thing every day; moving like gears on a clock. So when Young Master asked me the most perplexing sequence of questions as I was getting him dressed, one could imagine my surprise.

"Sebastian, how much do you know about humans?"

The first question appeared so innocent and curious, I suspected nothing. I never should've fallen for it; the young Earl is quite the expert of feining innocence.

"Well Young Master, I have spent many years working with humans. They are quite the interesting species-"

He rolled his eye before stating: "No, not like that. I mean, how much do you know about them, physically?"

Here was where things became suspicious.

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Do you know what happens as a...teenage human male develops?"

Now I was completely lost.

"I can't say know the specifics, Young Master. But if you give me a moment, I can research the subject-"

"Oh forget it. I don't why I bothered asking,of course you wouldn't know. Don't bother looking it up either, I need first-hand information. I'll just ask Baldroy."

This was serious. Baldroy was bound to get the Young Master's questions, whatever they were, incorrect, leaving the Young Master with false information about his own body.

Come to think of it, this could be rather amusing.

I smirked and said: "I'm glad Baldroy will serve some use for once."

(Baldroy's POV)

I was working on today's lunch (a supreme delicacy that I'm sure would go unappreciated as always) when something unexpected happened.

"Baldroy, I need to talk to you."

I turned around to see Young Master standing there in one of his more casual outfits. I put my flamethrower on the back on the table and asked: "Me? What about Sebastian?"

"He can't help me with this."

Surprise can't describe how I felt at this remark; astonished works, barely. Sebastian, the butler capable of anything under the sun, can't help Young Master with something, and he asks me instead!? This was either really good, or really bad. But either way, I was excited Young Master trusted me. I saluted and said: "Of course, Young Master! What is it you need to talk about?"

It took him a bit to find the words (something uncharacteristic of Young Master, I can assure you). I could tell whatever it was, it most be a tough subject for him.

"Baldroy, can you keep a secret?"

"Until the day I die," I said, crossing my heart.

Young Master seemed put off by this comment for a second, but he regained his composure, took some deep breaths, and said: "I recently found out about Lizzie's sword-wielding talents."

I blinked in surprise; Mey-rin told me that Paula told her that Lady Elizabeth would do anything to keep Ciel from finding that out for reasons Paula didn't disclose.

"Really?" Better not let him know I knew beforehand.

"Yes, it is quite alarming. But that brings me to the point. When I saw Lizzie using her swords, moving so fast and gracefully, like a bird taking flight…"

The Young Master's cheeks began to turn red as he stared off into the distance. He must've realized what he was doing, because he shook his head and said: "Sorry. Anyway, when I saw her using her swords like that-"

"Pardon my interruption Young Master, but did your undergarments begin to feel tight as you watched her?"

Young Master was so amazed he didn't even berate for interrupting him. "Yes, exactly Baldroy! Is that normal?"

I couldn't help but laugh, which seemed to irritate him. "It sure is! Every boy your age gets that sort of feeling towards girls. It just means you like 'em. And by like, I mean you like them."

It took the Young Master a bit to realize what I meant. His face turned even redder.

"It's only natural, Young Master. Lady Elizabeth is your fiance after all. And I know what you're thinking; if this sort of thing happens when you're working, just think about something disgusting or take a cold bath."

He seemed to calm down at this since he asked: "Do those methods really work?"

I nodded and said: "Would I be a chef of the Phantomhive family if I didn't know how to stop a stiff one?"

Young Master smirked and said: "Excellent work, Baldroy."

I smirked, crossed my arms and said: "Anytime you need to know about these sort of things, you come to me."

He nodded and left me to make his lunch.

(Elizabeth's POV)

I had just finished another practice session. I took off my headgear, panting heavily. Then I heard clapping.

"Excellent swordsmanship, Lizzie."

Not only was Ciel standing there applauding, with Sebastian standing behind him of course. Sebastian was clearly trying not to laugh at something; at what, I did not know.

"Ciel! I-I-I didn't want you to see anymore of this side of me!"

Ciel smirked as he walked over to me.

"On the contrary, I think it's lovely. Just like the rest of you."

I could feel his face turning red just like mine as I hugged him.


Then, I felt something weird. I let go of him to see what was happening.

"Lizzie, what's the matter?" Ciel asked me.

"Ciel, why do you have a banana in your pocket?"