Edo Tensei: My Resurrection chap 4

My deepest apologies for my absence! College scholarships have been the bane of my existence lately. But here's a extra long chapter to make up for it. Please tell me how it is!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, wouldn't need scholarships to go to college.

Chapter 4

Hiruzen spoke to Jiraiya sometime later. He didn't say it, but I was pretty sure it took him awhile to wear Jiraiya down so that he finally agreed to tell Naruto that he was his godfather when he was of an appropriate age. Apparently there were some conditions involved, but Hiruzen did not tell me what they were and I did not ask.

I did not speak to Jiraiya in his remaining time in Konoha and did not see him for awhile after that. I was pretty sure he didn't have the highest opinion of me. I felt a little put out about this, but decided that it was well worth it.

I finally had an informal meeting with the Hokage at the Sarutobi compound. He asked me many questions about Earth and I answered them as best as I could.

I had a particularly ecstatic feeling when he admitted that Democracy was a decent idea in my old world, but easily conceded to him when he said that it would never work in the Elemental Nations. He already had enough trouble getting ideas through the council as things were. Any village that tried Democracy would fall in a month. Tops. The only reason it wouldn't fall faster is because it would take awhile for the other villages to realize that it wasn't a trick and send over some forces.

Roughly five years have passed since my arrival to Konohagakure.

I finally met Naruto by pure chance when I saw him in the Hokage's office after the orphanage's matron dragged him there to announce his eviction and left before Hiruzen could say or do otherwise. She had some balls talking to the military leader of her village in such a way. That wouldn't stop me from making her life a living hell later on.

I happened to be in his office when this occurred and watched as an Anbu took him to an apartment that Hiruzen had rented for him on the spot.

When Naruto and his Anbu escort left, I turned to Hiruzen and changed the topic from the C-Rank he was offering.

"Hokage-sama, if I could ask for a meeting?"

Hiruzen noticed my tone and had the Anbu guarding him leave before he activated the security seal.

"How are the negotiations going?"

"Badly. I'm trying my absolute best to ease the divide between the Uchiha and the rest of the village, but nothing seems to work for long."

"Have you instated the inside agent?"


"Keep Danzo away from Itachi if you want the massacre to be prevented and continue to work with the Uchiha."

He didn't comment on how I knew his inside agent and instead frowned.

"I've already reduced his power dramatically after Jiraiya learned the reason of his former student's hatred for Konoha. But I do not know much more I can do without causing chaos in Konoha's political system."

Jiraiya had found his students in Ame three or four years ago. They, Konan and the newly renamed Pein, told the Toad Sage the reason they hated Konoha with such a passion while trying to kill him. After some digging, Jiraiya returned with the incriminating information of Danzo in mind. Jiraiya escaped to Konohagakure and spoke to Hiruzen. Jiraiya barely managed to avoid being killed by Pein as he escaped, and suffered a bad stab through his leg which left a limp years afterwards.

Before telling everything to Hiruzen, Jiraiya found me.

It was not a pleasant meeting.


I found my windpipe being crushed and the feeling of a Shunshin a moment later. The streets of Konoha were replaced with forest a moment before my skull was cracked as it met a tree.

"You said he was dead! But he isn't!" He pinned my hands to the tree with kunai and screamed into my face with rage. "Yahiko was alive and tried to kill me. HE HAD THE RINNEGAN! Yahiko would never take Nagato's eyes! You lied to me! Yahiko said that Nagato is dead!"

"He is! The Yahiko you met was a corpse-" Jiraiya crushed my windpipe once again before I could say more. Honestly, I didn't think he cared what the truth was. He was in a rage and the KI pouring out of him was almost crippling. His hands were already running through a long series of hand seals that looked to be some sort of summoning jutsu.

A hand stilled Jiraiya's hands and a welcome voice appeared.

"Jiraiya-kun. Let Connor speak. If what he says is damning enough, you may continue."

Someone must have seen my abduction by the Toad Sage and reported it to the Hokage. Thank Kami, God, The Log, and whoever else I could give thanks to. Fuck it. Jashin too. Just because I was delirious enough.

"Nagato uses his Rinnegan to control corpses using the piercings you saw in him. Were there any other orange haired, heavily pierced people?"

Jiraiya, who had calmed down somewhat, but whose eyes still boiled with unspent rage, answered with, "There was only one. He appeared before I got close to Ame. Konan appeared first, we fought, then Yahiko arrived."

"Then he has yet to gain proficiency to control multiple corpses. Nagato was somewhere in Ame, controlling Yahiko's corpse. I'm sorry, Jiraiya, but Yahiko is dead. The Rinnegan is able to allow other eyes with Rinnegan to see through another. That's how he does it. How exactly he got more Rinnegan, I don't know."

Jiraiya did not speak for a moment and Hiruzen took over. As the killing intent pouring off of him had reduced greatly, I felt my shoulders relax just the tiniest amount. Maybe I wouldn't be spending eternity in the stomach of a toad.

"Jiraiya, let's go to my office and we can discuss this is a private meeting. Connor, you are not to leave Konoha unless ordered by myself directly."

"Understood," I acknowledged Hiruzen as he turned Jiraiya around and began to lead him away.

I looked down to the two kunai which still pinned my hands to the tree and scowled when I saw I couldn't pull them out with my teeth. I grimaced at what I was about to do and shivered at how disgusting it felt.

I pushed my hand so it slid up the blade and handle, thus freeing the appendage at the cost of a rather large hole and a decent amount of blood. No amount of pain tolerance gets you used to the feeling even if the pain wasn't that bad. I waited for it to heal before pulling the remaining kunai out and putting both of them in my kunai pouch. No need to waste the weapons.

After making sure I was fully regenerated, as most people did not take kindly to the sight of broken bones and large open stab wounds, I made my way slowly back to the village.

"Oi! Connor!" I looked up to see Anko standing in a tree, smirking.

"Heard you got kidnapped by the Toad Sage. I see you're still standing and more or less alive. What happened?"

Seeing as I wasn't stabbed, poisoned, or jokingly seduced on sight, she must be a bit worried for me.

I waved for her to join me on the ground and spoke when she was on my level.

"Classified. But I told him something he didn't want to hear. When he found it was true, he didn't react well."

She acquired a worried frown and said, "First Danzo and now Jiraiya. I get that you're practically immortal, but you need to learn that you can only piss off those who's asses you can kick."

I snorted at her 'advice'.

"How did things go on your last date?"

"They still haven't found the body."




"Sasuke is what, five now?"

"I believe so. Does his age matter?"

I thought and said, "I think that Sasuke was either six or eight when the massacre happens."

"Knowing when would be an incredible boon." Yeah, like I didn't already know that.

I racked my brains, trying to remember. Wasn't Sasuke in the Academy when Itachi killed his clan.

"Don't kids begin the Academy at eight years of age?"

Hiruzen nodded slowly, not understanding my line of thought.

"Then it happened when he was eight. That gives you a few more years."

"I believe that Sasuke's birthday is sometime soon. I was invited to it by Fugaku-san recently."

"A couple years, then."

Hiruzen waited for a moment until he knew I had nothing more to add, and dismissed me.

I found my way to Ichiraku.

"Evening, Connor-kun! What will you be having?"

I nodded a greeting to the ramen cook and got my regular.

"Someone came in today who looks like he could match you in an eating contest in ramen. A kid! If you can believe it."

My eyebrow rose in interest and I asked, "Oh? And who dares to match my record?"

At one time, Ichiraku had held a ramen eating contest to see who could consume the most of the goodness. A great many of the Akimichi clan showed up along with others.

None matched me as I gulped down bowl after bowl. Was I cheating with my immortal status that did not require nourishment yet didn't have a limit, yes. Did I care? Not at all. It was worth it, seeing so many try and glimpse the face of the skinny and hooded figure that I was.

The prize turned out to be a three free bowls a day, for one year, at Ichiraku.


The old man paused in his stirring to look at me.

"After today, I wish to transfer my prize I won awhile ago to the kid. Naruto, correct?"

"How did you know? Met him?"

I smiled and said, "Sort of. But is it alright if I do that?"

Teuchi nodded after a moment of thought. "Yes, I can do that."

"Don't tell him it was me. Just tell him there is one condition: that he continue to work his hardest every day. Actually, make that two conditions. That at least one free bowl he orders has vegetables in it that he MUST eat."

Teuchi smiled and agreed with a nod.

That's the first way I made a real difference in Naruto's life. Despite being in the village for so long, I had only seen Naruto that one time in the Hokage's office. It was a big village and I lived on the other side from where Naruto's apartment was at. Of course I often heard the villagers hissing about 'That Demon Brat' often. Especially when he began pranking at age six.

I have to admit, for a kid who doesn't event have the ability to climb walls using chakra, it was admirable that he managed to get away from so many Anbu and other Shinobi.

One prank, which included swapping the coffee in several different buildings with gravy, had a large force of tired Shinobi chasing a cackling Naruto.

Naruto lost the forces chasing him and I happened to see where he hid.

I dropped down behind him in the alley and whispered, "Should've put pepper juice in it."

Naruto nodded absentmindedly before jumping up with a scream at the shadowy hooded figure who crouched next to him.

"You'll never catch me alive!"

I threw out a strand of ninja wire on the end of a kunai and had it wrap around his body, causing him to fall with a grunt. It was so easy to catch him that I wondered how the Anbu and other Shinobi had so many troubles.

"Relax. I'm not going to give away your position. I was just giving some advice for the future. They would me much slower at starting the chase if they have to cool off their tongues first. That's why I suggested the pepper juice."

Naruto, who had been trying to wriggle out if the ninja grade steel wire, stopped and looked at me.

"Heh, I'll remember that. I'm Naruto!"

"Connor. Now duck behind that trash can." I cut the ninja wire as I ordered him, hearing the approach of someone above us.

He threw himself behind the smelly container without protest and I looked up at the Shinobi on the building above me, a Chunin by the looks of him.

"The kid ran that way! I heard him say he was going to hide in some bushes!"

The Chunin grinned and ran the way I pointed, calling to others nearby. The only area in the direction I had sent them with bushes was near a large training ground. So they would have to go quite a ways and have a large area to search.

After a minute, I said, "You can come out."

Naruto poked his head out and looked before walking up to me.

He rubbed his head and said, "Thanks for that- eh, what's your name again?"

"Connor. And you do know that I only distracted them? You'll get punished eventually."

"I know. But it's so worth it!"

I smiled and asked, "Why those places though?" I had noticed that he had hit only certain buildings and not just a random area.

"They throw stuff at me sometimes. I don't know why, but I wanted to see their faces when they tried to drink that stuff!" He switched topics like a kid with ADHD.

I remembered how Naruto had supposedly been in the Academy at this time.

"Are you supposed to be in school right now?"

Naruto froze guiltily and I knew the answer. This gave me an idea.

"How about I make a deal with you, Naruto?" I pulled off my hood as an afterthought. He would be more receptive to a normal face than a piece of cloth. My face was just a little pale, as the combination of the hood and Konoha's leafy overhead kept the sun off of me most of the time. It took almost three years before it finally began to pale. My muscles were the same and it took almost two years before I managed to acquire the amazing six pack I sported. Being a reincarnated body had its downsides.

This caught his interest and he nodded vigorously. Probably thought it involved getting out of trouble.

"In exchange for letting me bring you to the Hokage, and taking your punishment, I will help you in school." The protest that came forth at me bringing him in died in his throat.

"You're going to teach me cool ninja stuff?"

"When you're a bit older, yes. You've got to let your chakra coils develop before you try to use any jutsu. I'll help you in school whenever I can so you can keep up with your classmates."

Naruto thought for a good long time and I waited silently as he did so.

"Alright! But I can still do pranks, right?"

I snorted and answered with, "Kid, I wouldn't dare try and stop your pranks. But let's head to the Hokage's office now. Tomorrow, after you attend the entire day at the Academy, I'll meet you after and help you with whatever you're working on."

Naruto nodded and we walked to the Hokage's office.

I entered to see a Shinobi angrily complaining about Naruto and he almost began to yell at Naruto when I walked in with him.

I say almost because I let off some KI at the man before he could let out a word. Judging by his clothes, he was a Genin like me. It was a bit sad, but not uncommon, to see grown Shinobi who stay Genin their whole careers.

Hiruzen dismissed the man and, after administering Naruto's punishment of delivering the coffee shipments of one of the buildings he pranked for one week, dismissed Naruto as well.

"Is there something you wish to talk with me about, Hokage-sama?"

"There is. My Anbu have informed me that you plan to teach Naruto."

I remembered that there was Anbu always around Naruto at this time in the series. And made a mental note to watch what I did with their presence always around. They must have overheard what I offered to do for him and told Hiruzen.

"I do. I know that Naruto's teachers will not be treating him properly. I'm going to pick up their slack whenever I can."

"It can't be that-"

"It is, Hokage-sama. I assure you that the 'Teachers' are as bigoted as any foolish civilian. If it didn't mess up the future, I would beat a few of them into a pulp for being so unfair to him." I didn't bother hiding the irritation I felt on my face.

Hiruzen did not speak for a minute, so I continued.

"I will not teach him anything techniques remotely dangerous until he becomes a Genin. I won't be teaching him any techniques until his chakra coils grow a little more. But when I do, I'll teach him little jutsu that are helpful in survival situations. Mostly, I'll be helping him improve on his grades and accuracy. Do I have your permission, Hokage-sama?"

"No." His answer floored me for a moment before he continued.

"As Hokage, I cannot assign a Genin to train an Academy student. It is just not done. So, no, I can not grant official permission for you to teach Naruto."

I bowed to hide the small grin that appeared on my face and said, "Of course, Hokage-sama. I will be on my way."

Hiruzen bid me farewell and I couldn't resist grinning on my way out of the office. He hadn't given me official permission, but he had informally and offhandedly told me to do what I could to help him.

I found Naruto the next day, carrying a heavy bag of coffee grounds to one building he pranked the day before.

"Balance it on your shoulder and it'll be easier to carry."

Naruto, jumped at my appearance, but moved the large bag to his shoulder like I advised.

"Thanks. It is easier!" Too bad he put the bag down a moment later in front of a sneering man, so he had carried the bag the hard way the whole time. At least he knew the easier way from now on.

I saw the sneering man about to speak, and it obviously wasn't going to be a polite thanks.

"Lets get you to the Academy, Naruto." I waited until Naruto turned his back from us to look at the man and let some killing intent leak into my look at him. His face paled and he took a step back.

"He'll be back tomorrow with the next bag." The man nodded quickly to my words and I cut off the KI before Naruto noticed.

I joined the blond-haired kid a little ways down the street, which he had run down in his excitement.

"I'll meet you after school and we'll train."

"Okay! Did Jiji send you?"

I knew he meant Hiruzen, so I nodded. "Yup. Hokage-sama asked me to help you with school. What all are you going over right now?"

Naruto then began telling me bits and pieces about what his class was learning. It was disjointed and he only knew a little bit due to not paying attention in class, but I got the gist of it.

We arrived at the Academy a little while before it began and I waved goodbye to him before putting my hood back over my head and walking away. Several children stared at me as I walked away and I made a note to wear my hood from then on when I arrived at the Academy.

Once I was a good distance from the Academy, I created six Kage Bunshin. Three of them I had go to the Academy and henge into spiders before hiding in the classroom where Naruto sat. The other three, I had go to the library and brush on Konoha's history. Learning the history of the place I had been living at had not been one of my priorities, so I needed to learn in order to help Naruto.

Once I created several other batches of Kage Bunshin to go train in various ways, I did a few D-ranked missions to kill time.

I stood apart from several groups of parents with my hood raised as I waited for Naruto to exit the Academy.

A legion of small bodies left the place of learning and it wasn't difficult to locate the blonde haired Naruto.

He ran up to me and grinned.

"I'm ready to train!"

I smiled and waved for him to walk with me. "Lets go to a training field. We'll get any homework you have done first, then we'll train, okay?"


I walked Naruto to the training ground I had some Kage Bunshin prepare beforehand and waited as he got out a notebook, talking all the while.

It was sad and maddening how bad he was at writing and math. To my eyes, the words were scrawled and often spelled wrong. I was just glad my eyes translated it into English for the most part as attempting to read his written Japanese would be hell. It was already difficult beyond belief. Some didn't even translate, and I was stuck wondering just what it was.

Thankfully, though it felt as though I wrote solely English, anybody who read what I wrote could read it perfectly. I didn't question it, and instead used this to help show Naruto the proper way to draw the letters and words.

Math was harder for him, and only divine patience helped me stay level-headed while teaching him basic addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.

Though I didn't let it show on my face or in my body language, I had a very real urge to find each and every one of his teachers and put them in the nastiest Genjutsu I could scrounge up and learn. I had only learned some simple Genjutsu, but I made it a priority to learn some stronger ones.

"You've got the idea down. Let's stop and do some warm ups."

The ink stained Naruto dropped his brush and jumped up with new energy.

I led him through a simple Academy kata, and found myself cringing inside at how bad he was at the movements. The teachers must have been doing their absolute best to prevent him from graduating. Fuck them.

It was too late in the year for me to help Naruto pass his upcoming graduation exam in the Academy. He was only six, going on seven, so it was practically impossible for him to perform the three Academy jutsu. His chakra coils were not developed enough to use effectively yet. If you added in the massive chakra reserves he possessed, there was no practical way for him to succeed.

I treated him to ramen to help cheer him up and sent some Kage Bunshin to fuck up the teacher's days for the next week. I legally couldn't kick their asses, but I could certainly disable their hot water, rearrange their silverware, and attach their furniture to the ceiling.

Oh yes. Karma is a bitch! Who know that seals could be so useful for pranking?

To cheer Naruto up, I tried teaching him some Fuinjutsu.

I had to Kawarimi us out of the way with some nearby logs to avoid making Naruto a cripple after he attempted a seal that collected water. There wasn't any words involving 'Heat' or 'Boom'. So how he created an explosion that leveled everything within a twenty meter radius, I will never know. Honestly, I'm surprised that the Uzumaki didn't get killed off sooner.

From then on, I kept my eyes over his shoulder at any time he had a brush in his hand and my hands in the seal to Kawarimi at all times. Not that I let him see that.

Two years passed, and it was when Naruto was in the class that would be dubbed the Rookie 9 when the worst came to be.

Despite the Hokage having done everything in his power to appease the Uchiha, the massacre happened. It wasn't just Itachi who did it, but he was the one to shoulder the blame.


I was in the Hokage's office and tensions with the Uchiha were at a breaking point.

"I do not think it can be stopped," Shikaku admitted. I stood next to Shikaku Nara, Jounin Commander and one of the advisers of the Hokage. He had been told of my ability a few years before and was a pretty relaxed guy, truth be told. Hell of a shogi player.

"But I do think we can save some Uchiha from being slaughtered, Hokage-san," I piped up and the two of them looked to me.

"While I doubt we will be able to stop the masked man even with Itachi's help, we may be able to hide some Uchiha from their sights. Give long term missions with S-ranked secrecy or simply hide some away with some excuse you can make up."

Shikaku shook his head and said, "Can't. The Uchiha are keeping every strong Shinobi in their compound and making excuses to keep them off the mission rosters. Itachi is about the only member they still allow to work, and that is only because they believe he is spying for them. Are there any more details about this 'Masked Man' that you can give us?"

I shook my head, firmly denying him. Now was not the time for Obito to be revealed to the world. He might move before we could do anything to retaliate or protect ourselves. I had no ideas of how to even begin countering Tobito's intangibility technique at my level of power.

"Then give some lower level Shinobi some long term C or B Ranks. Sasuke can NOT be left alone or he will become a self proclaimed 'Avenger'. This causes an unholy amount of chaos and irritation in the future."

A knock on the door caused me to close my mouth and the Hokage had the person enter. Seeing as the secretary hadn't stopped them, I knew that whoever it was had the reputation to be able to enter.

The Uchiha looked at me with a blank expression and then to the Hokage.

Hiruzen said, "He has the clearance. Speak."

"My cousin, Shisui, is dead."

I felt a jolt of pain and closed my eyes for a moment. I had met the kid once on a short C-Rank and he was nothing like most Uchiha. He laughed and joked around often, and I regretted not preventing his death. To be fair, I didn't know any way to stop them from taking his other eye.

"Not suicide though, was it?" I asked, trying and failing for a sarcastic tone.

Itachi's eyes flicked to me and he said, "That is the same tone the Uchiha have been questioning me with. They believe that I killed him."

If his tone wasn't so clinical and emotionless, he would probably be tearing up. Any other person, except Anbu and Root, probably would.

"He gave you his remaining eye, didn't he? Take good care of it."

His blink was the only thing that alerted me to his surprise.

"Is it alright if I continue speaking, Hokage-sama? I think I have a new plan." I had come up with it just then. The sight of Itachi had sparked it.

Once Hiruzen gave permission, I told them my idea.

A minute after my plan had been suggested, Hiruzen looked to Shikaku and he was in 'thinking' mode for three full minutes.

"It could work," finally, Shikaku spoke. I let out the breath I had been holding on instinct thanks to the relief. If a genius like Shikaku thought a plan had a chance, then I was convinced that it had a chance.

"Then begin preparations at once."


I ordered Naruto to stay home, instead of teaching him late into the night like I normally did. I went to the predetermined location that an Anbu had told me a week prior.

"Is everything in place?"

The Nara clan head turned to me and nodded.

"We managed to send a few Genin and Chunin teams containing Uchiha out of the village recently. So if this plan fails, there will be a few others out there."

I nodded and looked at the gigantic pile of scrolls waiting for me. Each was marked with a black piece of tape, to indicate what they held.

"Remember the steps. Knock out, replace, then leave the evidence."

I nodded and spent the next few minutes creating Kage Bunshin. Each one took a paper with a seal inscribed on it from the real me before grabbing a scroll from the pile.

"It took me a week to fill those, so do not waste them," I instructed all the Kage Bunshin, who already knew what they needed to do.

The massacre began. Uchiha were dying on the other side of the compound where Itachi was and my Kage Bunshin were doing everything they could to save the people Itachi were supposed to kill.

The steps went as such. The scrolls contained dead bodies of black-haired people that had been cut up or killed brutally, or at least made to appear that way. Very few were actually Uchiha, but some just so happened to be. Those who weren't Uchiha were torched by Katon jutsu to mask the fact.

My Kage Bunshin worked in groups of three. One would Kawarimi themself with the person Itachi had put into an intense Genjutsu, that would be strong enough to keep the other Uchiha from breaking out with their own Sharingan. Another would let out the corpse held in the black marked scrolls. The Kage Bunshin would then use the paper I had handed them to cover the wounds and surrounding area with the blood I had spent the week filling them with.

It was my own blood, by the way. It turns out that the easiest method that hurts the least is to cut off my hand and allow the resulting blood to flow into a flask that I sealed quickly to keep it fresh. I then regenerated, and did it again. It was not pleasant. But it would fool Tobito if he decided he wanted to see if Itachi was actually going through with the plan.

Unfortunately, Tobito would have been able to see my Kage Bunshin with his Sharingan. So at any time Itachi told me to hide, I felt my soul contract just a little bit more. Itachi truly had to kill people when he knew that Tobito was watching. He didn't want to tip him off to our plan. At least I did not have to see him commit the acts. My Kage Bunshin had to dispel the moment he gave that signal or the plan would have been ruined.

After the people were 'rescued' by my Kage Bunshin, they were taken to a safe location and guarded by the last Kage Bunshin while the other dispelled itself.

I created hundreds of Kage Bunshin that night. The mental backlash put me in a week-long coma that was full of nightmares of the images I had seen. The memories of the many houses that Tobito had gotten to first consisted of so much death. It made me regret not stopping Tobito, but the decision was made and couldn't be undone.

Forty-eight Uchiha survived. If you did not count Itachi and Obito, then that made fifty Uchiha left in the world. Unless Madara was still alive, in which case that meant there was fifty-one left.

According to a report sent in from Itachi, who had fled the village after the massacre, Tobito was not suspicious of Itachi. He, Itachi, had successfully joined Akatsuki and was feeding Konoha information as their spy.

Itachi's parents died. Tobito had upheld his promise that Sasuke would not be harmed, and instead put a Genjutsu on him that gave him the memory of Itachi killing his parents while erasing his memory of Tobito. It put him in a coma that lasted for two weeks.

After waking up in the hospital, the first place I went was the Hokage's office.

"Connor-kun. You should be resting." Hiruzen took in my hospital attire as I jumped in from the window. I hadn't bothered locating my usual clothing, so desperate I was for information upon awakening.

I was told about how many Uchiha had survived and what story was given out to those who were rescued. Apparently, I was walking by when I heard screams from the Uchiha district. Upon investigating, I managed to get those who were caught in Itachi's Genjutsu out of there only moments before he killed them. No one looked too deep into it. The ones who had survived thanks to my 'help' had left their thanks in the form of flowers in my hospital room. The blood and corpses that we had used as Uchiha-replacements were removed before anyone saw them.

The Uchiha that survived didn't get the opportunity to see any of the fake bodies, as they were removed fast enough for there to only be a slight bloodstain left behind.

"Only forty-eight," I said with a bowed head. I had thought we could have saved more. There were around two hundred Uchiha at the beginning of that night, counting those who had been sent out of the village. I cursed Tobito for being able to move so quickly. Itachi was expected to kill about a third of the Uchiha while Tobito did the rest.

"I want you to go home and take the next week off. No strenuous training. No missions. That is an order."

I nodded in a semblance of a bow and left without another word. I ducked into a closet to avoid a pissed off looking nurse, who was no doubt looking for me as she was muttering about, "Damn ninja! Leaving before we give the ok!"

This lifted my spirits somewhat, and I made my way home. I sent a Kage Bunshin to collect my clothes from the hospital and bring them to my apartment.

"Hey, Connor-sensei?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Why is everyone so sad?"

I corrected a small spelling error in the sentence he was writing before answering.

"I want you to stop pranking for a little while. The Uchiha clan has been almost completely killed off and the village is in a state of shock."

Naruto stopped his writing and looked up at me with an expression of horror.

"What! How!?"

"Itachi Uchiha killed almost all of the Uchiha a little more than a week ago. I managed to get a few of them out of their clan compound before he could find them. He caught me and I was put under a strong Genjutsu before I could get away. Luckily, some Anbu arrived and forced him to flee before I was hurt."

Naruto looked at the ground, looking shocked, before his head shot back up and he asked, "What about Sasuke?"

I didn't fault him for asking. Sasuke had been out for the same amount of time as myself and Naruto, after receiving such news, was right to be worried about his classmate.

"He's in a coma. Itachi put him in a Genjutsu using his Sharingan. Same as me. He'll wake up in about a week, I think." It put a bad taste in my mouth to tell him those blatant lies. I knew it was all for the greater good and crap, but damn! He was always so honest that my usually silent morals were bugging me.

I let this information sink in before I repeated my earlier statement.

"I want you to hold off pranking for a week or so. With the grief that everyone is feeling, they might be more inclined to seriously hurt you instead of letting Hokage-sama give you a punishment. Understood?"

He nodded mutly and began to write again. It was slower than before and I knew he was not really that focused on it. I didn't blame him for it.

I decided that he needed something to get his mind off of the sombre mood I had instilled.

"Set your homework to the side for right now. I want to show you something."

Naruto put his stuff in a pile on the table I had drug out there for us to use and turned to me.

I pulled a small square of thin paper out of an inner pocket of my coat and held it up for him to see.

"This is chakra paper. All you do is channel a little chakra into it and it will show you what elemental affinity you have. I'll demonstrate." I paid close attention to the paper myself, as I had not yet discovered my affinity by that point. Chakra paper was expensive and I had bought three sheets for an outrageous amount.

After pushing some chakra from my hands into the paper, I was irritated to see it crumble into dust.

"That means I have an earth affinity. If it gets wet, you have water. Slices apart: wind. Crumples up: lightning. Burns: fire. And if it crumbles into dust like mine just did: earth. This means I have an easier time learning earth release jutsu." It also meant I had stayed under my own affinity without being able to do shit about it for several years. The irony made me want to blow up all the earth in the general vicinity. Destructive therapy.

I handed another paper I had in my pocket to him and waited as he concentrated.

As expected, the paper ripped apart violently.

"Wind," I said unnecessarily. "That's pretty rare in Konoha. The only person I can think of with that affinity doesn't happen to be in the village right now." I had met Asuma a few times when I visited the Sarutobi compound. I happened to see him leaving the village a few days ago with what appeared to be a few Chunin. Unless it was somewhere close by, a mission that required a Jounin and some Chunin would take a decent amount of time to complete and return to Konoha.

"Even if he was in Konoha, elemental manipulation is a Chunin level skill. Sometimes even Jounin level. It wouldn't be right for me to teach an Academy student something that dangerous. I will when you become a Genin."

He grumbled at my words but did not complain. He knew that I kept my word unless something huge prevented me from doing so.

"Since elemental manipulation is out of the question, I will teach you something else that is pretty useful instead."

I searched for a seal I had a Kage Bunshin prepare beforehand and held the seal up for him to observe.

"This is called Maki Kemuri no Jutsu. (Winding Smoke Technique) It involves utilizing a pre-written tag to cover a large area with green smoke. It's useful for both getting away from a stronger opponent and also blinding opponents who cannot find a way to counteract the smoke. It can also hide your actions for however long your enemy is blinded. This will allow you to lay traps or time to think."

Naruto nodded along to my words excitedly and I knew he wasn't about to stay quiet for long.

"Just watch." I held up a hand sign next to the paper and activated it without bothering to call out the name of the jutsu. The immediate area was shrouded in green tinted smoke that gave Naruto a small coughing fit.

I saw that it was taking the smoke longer than usual to clear, thanks to the little wind around us due to the trees. I grabbed Naruto and got out of the smoke before allowing myself to breath again. I sometimes forgot that everyone couldn't simply stop breathing if they so chose to.

After his coughing subsided, he jumped up and declared that he wanted to learn that so he could be the greatest Hokage Konoha had ever seen. Or something along those lines.

I rolled my eyes and we headed back to the area that was mostly smoke free by that point. I spent the next few hours teaching him the individual components of the seal needed for the technique.

At the end of it, he had somehow created a seal that had the ability to cover an area about half the size of Konoha in orange mist. Just by messing up a few spots...

The Hokage would not be pleased.

It was three weeks later when Sasuke returned to the Academy. According to Naruto, he was mostly the same as he was in the anime. It was when he wasn't in public, in somewhat more private locations, that his human side came out. He showed regular emotions, albeit somewhat muted, when around solely Uchiha.

I felt a little bad spying on him via Kage Bunshin, but not much. Sasuke lived with a man and woman who had no children of their own. The man happened to be one of those sent out of the village for his protection during the massacre. The woman was one I had 'rescued'.

They lived like a normal Shinobi family, more or less. Sasuke was melancholy and broody most of the time, but the presence of parental figures kept it from building up to something more.

Though Sasuke was technically the Uchiha clan head, he wouldn't take that post until he became a Chunin at the very least. Until that point, the Uchiha had decided on a system that was somewhat along the lines of a Democracy. The adults, or anyone Chunin and above, all had voting rights, with some having higher rights due to their position in the clan or the village, and it was by the majority that clan decisions were made.

But enough of inner-clan politics. It was a month after the massacre that I was called into the Hokage's office.

"Afternoon, Hokage-sama." I walked through the door, for a change, and bowed to Hiruzen. The reason for this amount of politeness was due to the three other people who were in the office when I arrived. I did not recognize one of the men. But I suspected that he was an Uchiha because the man and woman who stood next to him were ones I had 'saved'. All three wore hitai-ate.

"Good afternoon, Connor-kun. I've asked you here at the prompting of these three here."

Hiruzen nodded his head to the three and the Kunoichi took the initiative.

"Hokage-sama. The Uchiha clan has voted on it between ourselves and have decided to request that Connor of the Leaf be allowed to take the exam to become a Chunin as soon as the special preparations can be made."

I blinked and blinked in surprise when Hiruzen only took a few seconds of thought before replying.

"Connor has been a Genin for several years now despite moving beyond the mission requirements long ago. Yes, I will allow it. It will take a week for the test to be created- but this is all under the assumption that Connor wishes to take the Chunin exam?"

"I do, Hokage-sama," I said with a bow and a smile.

Hiruzen smiled and said, "Then in one week's time, you are to come to the location I will have someone inform you of later. There, you will take the exam. The best of luck to you."

I took that as a dismissal, and gave him one last bow. I gave the three Uchiha a bow when I passed them on my way to the door. I waited until I was a little ways away from the Hokage tower before pumping my fist and grinning furiously under the cover of my hood.

"I see you are incredibly youthful this fine morning!"

I flinched when I realized that Gai had witnessed my silent self-congratulating and turned to see a familiar group. Well, familiar to me anyways. The majority of them hardly knew me.

"Yo, Gai," I greeted him as I walked over to the little restaurant his group sat in.

I nodded politely to Kurenai Yuhi, who I had not formally met yet. Asuma put a little distance between Kurenai and himself when he saw a beginning of a grin appear at the sight.

"So what is the cause of your Youthful celebration?"

"I'm taking the Chunin exam in a week. I've been a Genin for so long that becoming a Chunin is odd to think of." I'm not saying I hadn't considered taking the Chunin exams when they were held in the years I lived in the village. I just never got around to them. Considering the Hokage gave me C, B, and rarely A ranked missions despite my status as a Genin, becoming a Chunin had never been a big priority. It was more of a title than anything else and that didn't matter too much.

"The Chunin exams aren't for awhile. How are you taking them in a week?"

I turned to the new voice and smiled when I saw a concealed, yet familiar nonetheless, face.

"Yo, White-haired-sensei. Been awhile since I've seen you. And it's because the Uchiha requested it from Hokage-sama."

Kakashi blinked lazily and looked back down at a familiar orange book. Kakashi didn't react, but I heard Kurenai made a sound at the back of her throat and looked to see a scandalized expression on her face.

There was some idle conversation between the four of us, sans Kakashi, who still read his erotica silently, before I said my goodbye.

I found Naruto after school and told him of my upcoming Chunin exam and apologized because I had to prepare for it instead of helping him. I promised to send Kage Bunshin as a replacement, and he forgave me before wishing me luck.

I spent the next week learning various Doton (earth) jutsu from various sources. I managed to wrangle two out of Kakashi by making a deal with him regarding the Icha Icha series. The others I got from various scrolls and by questioning one or two Chunin. I even got one from Anko, who first cut my head off for not visiting her in a month before teaching me the seals for the jutsu. (She demonstrated it by using it on me. I had to burn the coat I was wearing after that session. There was no way to get that much blood out of the cloth.)

Any time I was not training myself on new jutsu I was perfecting my already learned repertoire. I found out that Shisui had earned his title as the Shunshin was very dizzying after four or five consecutive uses. As was the Kawarimi. I even worked with the henge, making it tangible and trying out various objects and such. (I thanked future Naruto for the idea of tangible henge by treating the current Naruto to some ramen.)

"So I just have to land a hit on him?"


"That's it? No written tests? No puzzles? No catching giant demonic parrots?"

I'm pretty sure I saw the Anbu's mask twitch when I mentioned the last, completely random, part.

"No. Just land a single solid hit on him, and you will receive Chunin status. Ready?"

It was odd how simple this seemed. I had been told to meet a few kilometers from Konoha at noon for my exam. And then I had met with two Anbu who were in charge of giving me the Chunin exam. After all that work and practice for various scenarios, this was beginning to seem like a piece of cake. Heck, I was prepared to take on any of the three Sannin with how much planning I had done beforehand. Actually win against said Sannin? Doubtful.

"Any rules?"

"Stay in the clearing. You have one hour. Use any means you desire but try to avoid outright killing. I will declare when the match ends."

"Alright. I'm ready."

"Begin!" the Anbu declared before leaping away and out of sight.

I threw out a few shuriken to test the waters with the blank-masked Anbu and he simply leaned from side to side to avoid the projectiles. Show-off.

With that thought, I shoved chakra into my legs and sprinted forward in a burst of chakra-enhanced speed. I dodged the standard katana he pulled out and punched out to his chest. My fist impacted wood as he replaced himself with a log and I ducked to avoid a rain of kunai from above.

He landed on the other side of the large clearing and I decided that close combat wasn't going to work very well. Time to pull out the Ninjutsu.

"Doton: Tobi Tsubute!" (Earth Release: Flying Thrown Stones) I went through the six seals and slammed my hands into the ground, just in time to see another log take his place when the earth in front of my hands cracked and was sent flying forward.

He reappeared, again, behind me with a few shuriken thrown at my exposed back. I sidestepped them and put my hand in the cross seal.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! Doton: Iwadeppō no Jutsu!" (Earth Release: Rock Gun Technique). Four other voices mimicked the second technique and a small avalanche was sent in five separate directions. To evade, the cheeky bastard replaced himself with one of my own Kage Bunshin and proceeded to dispel two more before me and the remaining Kage Bunshin ran at him with kunai brandished.

We spent almost fifteen more minutes trying out various techniques and failing at every turn. I created several bunches of Kage Bunshin and most were dispelled before they could get off a jutsu.

When half the allotted time had passed, one of the Kage Bunshin looked at me and shouted, "Do it!" Right before he got a katana through his chest. It was really dramatic, what with the smoke and such. I imagined a spray of blood and did a mental send-off to my fallen Kage Bunshin.

I grinned and sent out five more Kage Bunshin to distract the Anbu as I mentally prepared myself for my one and only Kinjutsu (forbidden technique). I had practiced it in secret, making sure no one in Konoha knew what I was doing. It was a jutsu that Naruto himself had used in the final battle right before fighting Sasuke. Of course, it had no affect on the lady, but it might work on the mortal man who was my opponent.

Preparing the large amount of chakra necessary for it to be fully tangible, I replaced myself with the Kage Bunshin nearest to him and shouted, "Oiroke no jutsu!"

The Anbu hesitated at the name of the never-before-heard-of ridiculous, and possibly deadly, jutsu. That was his undoing, as a burst of smoke cleared away to reveal a red headed busty woman whose only covering was some leftover smoke and a lusty smile.

There was a split second where you could see the Anbu's brain short-circuiting and asking, 'What the Fuck?!' before crimson liquid began spewing out the bottom of the blank mask and his whole body shivered and collapsed.

I strolled up to the downed Anbu and bonked him lightly on his arm before looking out into the surrounding area and dispelling the infamous Sexy Jutsu along with the last Kage Bunshin standing.

The other Anbu appeared with a slight stumble and straightened up with a declaration of, "Winner. Connor of the Leaf. Here is your official Chunin vest and paperwork. Please submit it to the Hokage as soon as possible. Congratulations."

I accepted the vest and paper and grinned in delight.

"You do realize that I have to write a report about this?"


"And he does as well."

"Poor Ero-Anbu. (Pervert Anbu). Is it hard to get blood out of the mask?"

"Somewhat, yes. Now report back to the village."

I bowed to the Anbu and left with a Shunshin.

Anko held out a stick of her dango and declared, "For this most hilarious tale, a single stick of dango I shall award to you!"

I snorted and accepted the treat while she burst out laughing and beat the table with her hands.

"Oiroke no jutsu! Hahahaha! You have GOT to teach me that!"

"Oh, I don't think you need any jutsu to cause immense nosebleeds to men all over the elemental nations. Some women too." She didn't hold back the punch to my arm and snorted at the seductive tone I said it with.

I rubbed the spot and good naturally groaned. The bruise began to heal even before beginning to form and I muttered, "I'm beginning to regret ever telling you about my immortality."

"Oh shut up! I've only beheaded you twice this week!"

"I'm counting that bad cut as partial beheading as well," I said and crossed my arms. I then noticed a great deal of clientele were staring at us, some with horrified looks. I scratched at my neck and a few shivered. They were probably wanting to see under my hood to see if I had any evidence of getting beheaded. I resisted the urge to freak the civilians out and instead stood.

"Sorry, Anko. I've gotta be going now. Need to actually turn in my paperwork to Hokage-sama."

She saluted me goodbye with an empty dango stick and I headed out to the Hokage's office.

I waited for a Genin team to come slumping out, covered in scratches and cursing Tora, before I strolled in and placed the paperwork down onto his desk.

"Connor, reporting with Chunin promotion paperwork, Hokage-sama."

He put the paperwork aside and gave me a grave look.

"Connor-kun. I've read over the report of your exam and have a single question."

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Is that jutsu you used to end the exam something of your own invention? Did someone teach you? Or does someone invent it in the future?"

I grinned and said, "Someone in the future. And what a fine moment in the future it's going to be."

I could see Hiruzen shiver at my words and he muttered something involving Jiraiya, new Kinjutsu, and perverts. I chuckled at the few words I could hear.

"I request that you do not use it on Konoha Shinobi any more. Or among civilians of other villages. Frankly, I wish you wouldn't use it at all."

I laughed at the words before I said, "I promise not to use it on Konoha Shinobi, unless they deserve it. And I will not embarrass the village with it." Not too much, anyways.

Hiruzen nodded and put my paperwork in his to-do pile. I noticed that said to-do pile looked very small.

"Making good use of my advice all those years ago?" I asked while eyeing the pile.

"Yes I am," Hiruzen smiled. "The paperwork has never been as low as it has been for the past few months. I finally get to see the wood of the desk now and again!"

I grinned and asked if there were any A-ranked missions available. I hadn't taken an A-rank in awhile and felt like getting out of the village for a bit. Spending too much time in Konoha made me get a little stir-crazy. The fact the village was huge made no difference. Just the feeling of being contained in general bothered me.

It wasn't like I was claustrophobic, no. It was more of a side affect of being stuck underground for many years while only having a few square centimeters between myself and dirt...

Okay, maybe just a little claustrophobic...

He deliberated over a few choices and finally handed me an A-ranked Assassination mission.

Typically, Assassination missions are not done solo. Backup was usually handy if only to divide the night watch. The only reason I didn't bother with backup is because I didn't really need sleep. This made travel time become drastically reduced and chances for nighttime ambushes non-existent.

My mission almost wasn't worth the A-rank pay I would get upon its completion. The only reason it had that rank was due to it being located in a small village near Iwagakure. It being close to a near hostile Hidden Village added the extra danger to warrant the A ranking.

I arrived at the small village and Henged into a normal looking civilian. Seeing as I snuck across the border and didn't have any kind of viable excuse for being in the country, getting caught wouldn't have been a smart idea.

My target was a man who was suspected of human trafficking. My mission was to find the man, who was suspected to be in that village, find out whether or not he had a hand in human trafficking, and then eliminate him in a quiet manner. He was guilty of a few other crimes, so he was going to die either way. It was only because the Land of Fire frowned so heavily on the Human Trade that I was to bring any evidence that I found back to our information department.

I wandered through the village, keeping an eye out for the guy and stopping now and again at stalls to inspect the wares. I saw a few Iwa Shinobi walking around, but they didn't notice or pay much attention to me and I made a note to keep an eye out for them so as to continue avoiding attention.

I found my target right as night began to fall. He was stumbling along the street, drunk as he could be and holding what I assumed to be a prostitute around the shoulders. I followed them unseen as they made their way through the village and to a somewhat secluded housing district.

I waited until the man passed out on the couch and the woman left, disgust showing openly on her face as she stomped away. I started to drop the Henge but held off when a familiar feeling let itself be known. I wasn't a sensor by any means, and that's not how I felt the presence. I had way too much chakra to even hide myself efficiently, let alone sense others. The best I could do was make others think I had higher Genin reserves rather than the mid Jounin amount I normally carried.

I held off and saw a figure toss an indistinct shape into the house through a window and move away before the night was lit up by a fiery explosion. Seeing as the man was passed out drunk and a civilian when the explosive went in, much like the guy's life, my mission was over. I didn't get any information off the guy, which annoyed me, and I decided to find the person who did my job for me. We needed to Talk.

Dropping my Henge, I pushed chakra into my legs and bounded where I saw the figure last. It was easier than I expected to find the figure and was left staring at a blonde teenager whose features were lit up by the flames he created.

My mouth quirked when I realized who it was and I said, "That was a beautiful job. A real piece of art, I would call it."

Deidera stood straighter and smirked at my words.

"It's good to see someone who appreciates art as much as I do, un."

"It was a pretty show, I'll admit. But I kinda had my own mission related to that fellow you just sent to the Shinigami. I wonder if I get paid if the job is done for me?"

"Oh, and where are you from?"

I saw his hand twitching slightly inside of a pouch on his hips and threw kunai at him to interrupt the creation of his 'art'.

He dodged and small animated pieces of clay in the shape of various insects filled the air. An overpowered Katon jutsu forced the explosives to detonate at a somewhat safe distance and painfully scorched most of my tongue to ash. That was one reason that overpowering jutsu was a bad idea. Anyone who doesn't contain a biju or isn't a walking dead person, like myself, would lose important body parts in the process.

"Hmm, you seem informed on just how dangerous my art is. I don't suppose I could get a name so I can send your village a nice letter along with your head, un?"

My tongue was still healing, so I instead put my hands in the familiar cross seal and summoned up six Kage Bunshin. They attacked Deidera as I summoned two more groups of six and finally spoke.

"As for how I know of you, Deidera," said explosive maniac twitched at the sound of his name before sending another of my Kage Bunshin out of existence via explosive means. "I happen to know a great many things. Things that I really shouldn't know."

"Doton: Iwadeppō no Jutsu!" I shot the clay bird constructs out of the air with small, high velocity, rocks. The ones I missed removed the log I replaced myself with from existence.

I avoided the clay centipede that attempted to crawl up my legs when I was distracted and forced it to detonate via an explosive tag delivered by a thrown kunai. I got pelted by some dirt and brushed it off before speaking again.

"Word of warning that I suggest you heed. Three men will come for you one day. Each will wear a coat adorned with red clouds and will want you to join them. If you join them, you will die and your ultimate art will never been admired. That is all."

I saw the young blonde, adorned in his black clothes and mesh undershirt, begin to speak moments before I replaced myself with a log that was located half a kilometer away. The Kawarimi took every ounce of what chakra I had and I spent the time I was forced to wait to think about the actions I had just done.

Deidera would report me and my words to his Kage, no doubt. He apprenticed under the old man who was Iwagakure's Kage, if my memory was correct. That meant his words would be taken more seriously than if another Shinobi had told him. He would be told of my ability to spam the chakra intensive Kage Bunshin no jutsu and of my mission to kill the man. I hoped that the lack of obvious village identification or name would make it harder for them to connect me to Konoha.

Mainly, funnily enough, I was worried about what sort of name they would award me, if any. Hidden villages typically gave their own Shinobi their names, such as the Yondaime with the title of the Yellow Flash and Hiruzen with the title of Professor. Now and again, however, names were given by other villages and they stuck. If I was lucky, it might not be too bad.

If it was something stupid, I was going to shove the entire plotline up Deidera's ass in the form of a katana covered in paper tags. And salt. That bastard was about to suffer before I sent him to the Shinigami. I would figure out how to fix the lack of Deidera after getting my revenge.

"Son of a bitch!" I exclaimed when Hiruzen slid a Bingo Book across his desk. A rough sketch of me stared up from the paper and I picked it up to read what was written next to it. I wondered how they had gotten my description in the books so quickly. I had only been away from the village for two other days after the mission while taking care of something else.

'Name: Unknown.

Affiliation: Unknown, but not Iwagakure.

Appearance: Unknown is a tall male wearing a grey cloak. His face is hidden by the hood and he has no other known notable physical features.

Jutsu: Proficient with Kage Bunshin no jutsu, Doton: Iwadeppō no Jutsu, and has a powerful Katon jutsu. No other techniques observed.

Rank: B-ranked. Possibly A.

Reward offered: 5,000 ryo.'

I finished and put the book on the desk before muttering, "5000? That's it!? I kicked the student of the Iwagakure's ass and I get 5000 ryo!?"

Hiruzen chuckled and put the book away.

"I remember the first amount they set on my head. It was Kumo, I think, who put it in," the Sarutobi said in a reminiscent way.

"How much did they start out with you?"

"50,000 ryo."

I narrowed my eyes and asked, "Are there any A-ranks available?"

Hiruzen threw a scroll to me and said, "A noble in Kiri needs to die in a public, preferably brutal fashion."

I was back in the Hokage's office a few days after completing the A-rank. He slid the book forward and I skipped to the bottom.

"15,000 ryo. Now that's more like it."

So it's been awhile. I've had college stuff taking up my time so I hope this extra long chapter will make up for my absence. Please review!