Disclaimer: I'm not making any money off of this. I don't own any of it. Lawyers be gone.
This story would have been posted on the 'Twisting The Hellmouth' website, but since I can't figure out the blasted formatting, it's going here. Enjoy!
Ship of the Line: Resolute - Chapter 1
'Ow. This really hurts.'
Consciousness returned to Xander in the wake of pain. holding his head and sitting up slowly, he tried to pull his thoughts together.
'What in the world happ-
-e stood in front of a small group of kids, telling them about the tricks to getting extra cand-
-trapping himself into a high-tech chair, he nodded at the technicians monitoring the devic-
-ecovering himself from a fall, he shouted orders to fire the main cannons at the approaching world-shi-
-etting the youngest child ring the doorbell at the first hous-
-ooking at willow for the last time before searing pain and light flood the chambe-
-etting a collision course with the world-ship while the bridge is falling apart around hi-
-ened...OWWWW! Son of a...'
'You said it.'
'I'm going crazy, aren't I?'
'I don't know. Are you?'
'Wouldn't that be 'we' rather than 'I'?'
'Yep. definitely crazy.'
'I know you are, but what am I?'
'Hey! I resent that remark!'
'Please. You're an idiot and you know it.'
'My grades are right where I like them, thank you very much.'
'God! It's because of morons like you-'
'Shut up, both of you.'
'Is anyone else disturbed that I'm arguing with myself...and myself is arguing back?'
'Enough. What are the last things everyone remembers? Can you recall the last day or week?'
'Well, I got drafted by that prick Snyder to help out with taking some kids around town for trick-or-treating. Me, Willow, and Buffy all took a part of the group and split up to cover more ground. The last thing I remember was some kind of energy building up and all the kids started turning into their costumes, but then I blacked out. What happened?'
'That must have been me. I was planning on sending back my memories to stop the invasion, but I didn't think this would happen...'
'Wait, invasion? What the heck are you talking about?'
'What is the current date, to the best of your knowledge?'
'Halloween, 1996. Why?'
'Good. I made it back in time. See, in 2002 the Chitairi attacked at New York and the Avengers where able to stop them by blowing up their fleet, but what people didn't realize was that the energy from the portal they opened up was detected by the Saurians. They invaded in 2006 and set up a beachhead in Hawaii. Some navy guys took down all their scout ships, but they managed to get a signal out and their main fleet showed up six months later. We fought them as hard as we could, but after twenty-five years we were on the edge of total annihilation. Willow, Ethan, and I worked together with Stark, Banner, and SHIELD to try and build a device that could send somebody back in time to head off the invasion, but it would only work on a persons memories and they would die in the process. I volunteered because I had joined the Army Rangers and had extensive knowledge and training on how to fight the invaders. That, and I wasn't about to lose Willow.'
'...Twenty-five years? Holy crap...'
'This is all very compelling, but none of it explains me.'
'What are you talking about?'
'I am Xander Har'ris, commanding officer of the Imperial Remnant Vessel Resolute. We were engaged in a fleet battle against the Yuuzhan Vong over the planet Corusant and taking heavy losses when reinforcements from the New Republic jumped in. We thought that we had the upper hand until one of the World-ships charged through our lines on a suicide run, headed straight for our flagship. With nearly all of our weapons knocked out and taking heavy damage, I sent the Resolute on a collision course in order to shift their path away from the heart of our formation, but I don't know if I succeeded. I am almost positive that my plan would have killed me, so I have no idea how I ended up here or how I am connected to the two of you.'
'Wait, Yuuzhan Vong? Corusant? New Republic? This doesn't make any sense. We used the Halloween ritual as a focus for the time displacement. I even got the same costume from back then to help with the spell parts. Everything should have been the same! How does Star Wars have anything to do with this!'
'...You did something, didn't you?'
'Hey! Some kid grabbed the last toy rifle I wanted and then I found an almost complete Imperial Officer costume in a box off to the side! It was even on discount, because the hat and boots were missing! That store owner guy let me use some scuffed up Shadowtrooper boots instead! For free! I'm actually surprised they fit...'
'What, exactly, do you mean by 'Star Wars' and 'costume'? And how did you know about my boots and hat?'
'This...is going to take a while. Wait, what?'
'I use the boots from my old Shadowtrooper uniform, which I haven't polished in a month, and I never wear a hat when I can get away with it.'
'Okay. This is getting spooky.'
'So...If I'm understanding all of this correctly, All three of us are different versions of Xander Harris. Future-Xander used some kind of techno-magic thingy to send back his memories to Past-Xander in order to fight the alien invaders, but Past-Xander ended up getting a different costume then Future-Xander did in his timeline, which caused Space-Xander's memories to get dumped into Past-Xander's head along with Future-Xander's and Space-Xander has no idea that his entire universe also exists in other dimensions as a epic series of six movies along with a massive amount of associated books, comics, games, and fanfiction.'
'That was...surprisingly intelligent.'
'Told you I wasn't an idiot.'
'It certainly explains a lot. Including the part I just remembered.'
'Do I even want to know?'
'After the collision with the world-ship, everything went white. I thought that was it, but I suddenly was standing in front of a primitive dwelling surrounded by small creatures. I pulled out my blaster pistol and-'
'Those were the kids! You didn't hurt them, did you? Please tell me that blaster didn't work!'
'...No, I didn't hurt them, and yes it worked but I had it set to stun. Are you going to let me finish?'
'I shot the...kids...and knocked them out. I had no idea where I was or how I had got there, considering I was just on the bridge of a starship in the middle of a pitched battle. I used my comlink to try and pick up any friendly signals nearby, which apparently there was a shuttle parked about a klick away. While I was walking to the shuttle, I heard sounds of fighting and ran toward them. I was extremely surprised to see a female Jedi fighting off what appeared to be some kind of near-human being with fangs. I've never seen creatures turn into dust when killed, but she was on the verge of being overrun, so I helped her out. We both got on board the shuttle and I was shocked to see the Resolute itself in orbit! We landed in the hanger bay, but there was no living crew onboard. Only droids. Once we managed to move the ship to behind the fifth planet, the Jedi and I went to my quarters to rest and recover our bearings. After drinking some of the brandy I have stashed away we...um...well...'
'You slept with her? As in sex? Does that mean I'm not a virgin anymore?'
'Hold on a second. If this body is 'Past-Xander' and you were in control, then that Jedi must have been a girl from Sunnydale wearing a Jedi costume. Who exactly did you sleep with?'
'I...I have no idea.'
'Well don't just sit there! Who is she?'
'Who is in control of the body?'
'I think the only one who has physical control right now is 'Past-Xander'.'
'Oh, right. That's me. Hang on...'
Xander opened his eyes and looked around.
'Ok. Sitting on the edge of a really comfy bed in a cool scifi looking room, check. Not wearing any clothes, check. Several empty glass bottles on the table, check. Lots of random clothes scattered on the floor, check. Naked girl on the bed next to me, che-WHOA!'
Xander stared as his eyes took in the beauty on her side facing him. Long silky brown hair framed a heart shaped face with delicate lashes, soft pink lips, and a cute button nose. The gentle rise and fall of her chest showcased her well-developed breasts. The lines of her lean body showing her flat stomach leading to the small patch of neatly trimmed curls above her groin. Long, toned legs that seemed to go on forever.
'Sweet mother of Twinkies. I had sex with a super model.'
'I admit, she is most definitely a very attractive woman.'
'Oh no. This is not good.'
'Not good? Are you insane!? This Xander is now officially a man!'
'One, you don't know this girl. Two, she might not feel the same way as you about having sex with somebody she doesn't know. Three, she could have someone else. Four...I know her.'
'You know her? What do you mean by that?'
'It's...it's impossible. I mean...it wasn't supposed to be this way. At least not with her. Definitely not her. I...it can't be her. This is changing the timeline so badly it might never recover!'
'None of this is getting us anywhere. What do you mean by 'her'?'
'She...she's dead. In my timeline, she's already dead. She was a very good friend and before she died, she was dating another friend of mine.'
'Who is she?'
'This is...Tara...Tara Maclay.'
'Okay...even her name is sexy!'
'While I will agree with the other points, why does her identity make sleeping with her a bad thing?'
'Because, in my timeline, Tara was dating Willow.'
'Willow? Willow Rosenburg? As in my shy, happy, babbling, never-ever-give-her-caffeine-if-you-want-to-live, terrified of frogs, yellow-crayon-buddy Willow?'
'As in the not-so-shy, babbling, certified university-level-geinuis, polyglot, world class grey-hat hacker, magic-wielding-witch-powerful-enough-to-crack-the-planet-in-half-and-nearly-blew-up-the-world-when-Tara-died, still terrified of frogs, yellow-crayon-buddy Willow? Yes. That Willow.'
'...That is so hot.'
'And as far as I know, Tara is 100% lesbian. If she finds out she slept with a guy...'
'Okay, not so good, but still hot.'
'Tara is the one who taught Willow magic.'
'And now we find out why it's a bad thing.'
'...She won't turn me into a frog or anything, will she?'
'I don't know. Ask her. She's awake.'
Xander's head snapped around and his brown eyes locked with wide hazel ones.
'I am so dead.'
'Again, I believe that should be 'we'.'
Be honest. You didn't see that one coming, did you?
This story will remain as a one-shot until I can find the time to continue it.
I normally don't care about this, but I want lots of reviews on this story. Let me know what you think