I read the note on the assignment speechless. Ryo always made things more complicated than they had to be. When we decided to break up it was so we wouldn't see each other again, and I could move on with my life, but somehow he always managed to be in it. I decide to get up and excuse myself from the classroom lying saying that I was feeling fatigued.
As I go running looking for Ryo quite desperately I find him sitting outside by the pool. All that went through my mind is why he still loved me even after all the things we've been through in the past.
-Who would have ever thought you'd come looking for me? Right Pumpkin? - He said as I sighed relieved to find him, but out of breath from running.
-Can you at least explain to me what that was about? Why the hell would you write such crap on the assignment? -
-What do you expect me to tell you Rika? Out of all the places on earth I have to find you here while I'm trying to get away from you so I could get over you. This is fucking toxic for the both of us. The truth is we are both BAD FOR EACH OTHER. All we do is just hurt each other every single time. -
I knew him too well to not know that he wanted to break down just as bad as I did, but then there was my pride. Something I just couldn't let go of so easily, but then he hit me when he said what I was avoiding for so long.
-You know as well as me that this whole thing started the moment our baby died when it was born Rika. -
That's right, I wanted to forget that so badly. Let it go of my life and as hard as tried I just couldn't let go of the fact that we had a baby, and how it died the day it was born due to the numerous problems I had during my pregnancy. People would say it was destiny, we were both meant to learn and grow from this, but all I felt was as if I was drowning in a deep ocean of thoughts as well as Illusions I had of our future together of what it could have been. The way I slowly lost myself and who I was because of this. The way Ryo would try so hard to lift me up from the never ending drowning, however, no matter how hard he tried I couldn't. That's how I fell into a deep depression.
My problem was that I didn't feel like I could be with him after all of that happened. I couldn't tell him that because of all the problems I had during my pregnancy and the delivery itself I wouldn't be able to have a child of my own anymore. If I couldn't give the man that I love a child of his own, I sure as hell felt like I didn't deserve him.
Tears started to run down my cheeks without my permission. I realized it's been a while since I felt so weak as well as pathetic till I finally had the courage to speak.
-What the hell do you want me to say Ryo? Yes, I love you, I've always loved you. After this situation happened with the baby. I noticed I was in a situation where I couldn't give you what you wanted anymore Ryo. I'm incapable of having another child. I do want you to be happy and be able to achieve your dreams instead of being with someone like me. I'm liability. -
-What is so bad about being with someone like you Rika? I've been through hell and back because of you. I just can't get over you no matter how hard I try. What happened with the baby was something that broke both of our hearts, and even though you were hiding the fact that you can't conceive a child anymore I already knew about all that. ALL OF IT. I've known since day one, but it doesn't stop me from loving you. -
I felt him approach me while I just keep on crying my eyes out in front of the man that means the whole entire world even though I'd never admit it to his face. He wraps me around his arms in a warm tight hug. I don't return it, but I let myself feel loved by him one last time before we decide to that the both of us have to move on with our lives.
9 years later
Hard to believe it's been nine years. I became a well-known writer. I've published a couple of books, and till this day my favorite one will be "When The Petals Fall" It's the story between Rika and I. That's right it's only a memory now. I haven't seen her ever since our last talk at the pool of the school. Tough decision we both had to make. After talking we both moved on with our lives. Yes, there was love, but there was no way for us to grow if we were going to be torturing each other over the past that we had. Maybe destiny will decide to reunite us once again, but she's someone I will always keep in my heart. She's the one that got away.
When she would get asked what her favorite book was she would say without a doubt it was "When The Petals Fall" as no one could take away the sincere smile from her lips.