Frozen Holden

Disclaimer: Frozen belongs to Disney, not me. Catcher in the Rye belongs to J. D. Salinger.

"I hate movies, I really do. Phoebe wanted me to take her to the movies, to see Frost or something."


"All right, all right, settle down. Anyway, I'm Holden, and this girl is..."

"Hi! I'm Phoebe. Nice to meet you."

"Anyway, the movie was Frozen."

"It's about two sisters, Anna and Elsa!"

"About those sisters, Elsa had magic."

"Ice powers! Anna and Elsa dad always played in Elsa's snow in the ballroom."

"But Elsa damned her sister by shooting Anna in the head with a magic ice bolt."


"What? I'm telling my view of the story."

"Stop swearing."

"Guys my age always do it. No one is going to give a damn."

"I will. Now watch it."

"Okay! Anyway, Elsa cried and their parents came in the ballroom to the horror of their frozen daughter."

"The parents took Anna and Elsa and rushed into the forest for help. And a little boy around Anna's age followed them."

"An old troll fixed Anna but gummed up her memories so she wouldn't remember Elsa's magic."

"The parents hid Elsa and her powers away from everyone, including Anna."

"Elsa got scared of herself and of hurting anyone. It was depressing to see Elsa getting worse and worse before your very eyes."

"Anna kept trying to get Elsa to come out and play but Elsa told her to go away."

"What was even more depressing was one day Elsa and Anna's parents had to go away but they got caught in a storm and downed, boat and all."

"It was so sad!"

"Indeed, now-"

"Ey!~ Holden!"

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here. Ackley."

"Oh~ I was told I was a moron by somebody and I wanna get'cha back for it. Ya dingball."

"Ackley, no. I'm doing this thing with my sister. Now. Get. Out!"

"Make me. You said your sister? Hey there little thing. You know your brother's an asshole, right?"


"That's it! Get back here you little damned dickhead!"

"Oh. Ouch. Ah. Um... Holden's not going to be able to finish the story or the outro so I'll do it. You can find the movie Frozen in stores and we have yet to get a copy. Hope you enjoyed "Holden's Take on Movies!" Now if you excuse me, I need to get the fight broken up. Please enjoy the song Let it Go in our outro. Goodbye."