I know I'm updating this after a long time but please forgive me! I'm now in medical university and it is kicking my ass lmao but anyway enjoy!

Harry and Archie were casually walking back to their common room, the latter a slight more casual than Harry. Archie wasn't sure, but it probably had something to do with the crowd of Ravenclaw students crowded around them as they walked, all of whom were staring at Harry with either awe or love in their eyes.

One brave Ravenclaw – a third year, Archie guessed – approached Harry with a picture and a marker. On closer inspection, Archie noticed that it was a picture of Harry doing one of his famed bicycle kick shots. The boy obviously wanted Harry's autograph.

"Um, sir, do you think you can sign my picture?" he asked timidly. Archie almost dropped his carefully constructed mask of neutrality when a grin threatened to break out on his face. This would be amusing.

Without breaking stride, Harry casually tilted his head, ever so slightly, to the side so he could spy the idiotic boy out of the corner of his eyes. Harry knew it was a matter of time before one of them braved his wrath to try something like this; it was a constant during his summer holidays whenever he tried to eat dinner that idiots would disturb him for his autograph (or to just spend time in his presence), why should he expect any different in a school full of Quidditch fans?

Knowing that if he signed the kid's picture, everyone in the school would line up for one, he went for the cleverest approach.

Turning his head a little more, so both his bright green eyes were locked on with the boy's, Harry narrowed them dangerously, a promise of pain and torture being conveyed with just a stare. The boy didn't stand a chance; with an undignified squeak, he quickly retreated to the back of the crowd.

Proud of his work, Harry tilted his head in the opposite direction and lazily grinned at the gaping Archie. No one else dared to ask for an autograph, but that didn't stop them following him, or 'giggle squealing' in his direction.

When the duo finally made it to their new dorm room, one that looked better suited for studying than their previous ones with much larger desks and more comfortable accommodations, Archie cornered his friend.

"What the hell was that down there?" he incredulously asked "you just looked at him and he almost shit his pants, are you some sort of Basilisk hybrid?" he asked "has it got something to do with your Parseltongue abilities?"

Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance "Hardly," he said "it's an acquired skill, just glare at people while thinking about the most painful and torturous way of causing them harm," he lectured "it helps if you actually mean it though," he added as an afterthought.

Archie just stared at him incredulously before shouting "That's the biggest load of Hippogriff shit I've ever heard!" he said "there has to be more to it than that!"

Harry shrugged "Sure, a little Legilimency and a wandless compulsion charm help, but it's all in the 'wanting' to cause them harm," Archie didn't know if he should be weirded out by how well Harry was lecturing on this particular subject "oddly, your inner feelings are mirrored well in your eyes, and people get the picture."

"Whatever," Archie dismissed "can you believe what Dumbledore said at the feast? They're allowing Dementors access to Hogwarts, only on the slight possibility Pettigrew is hiding here?"

Harry's back was to Archie, so the brown haired boy didn't see the dangerous glint in Harry's eyes as he spoke "They won't try anything if they know what's good for them."

"You can't kill Dementors Harry," Archie frowned "it's hard to threaten a creature you can't kill, let alone harm in any way . . ."

Harry didn't answer, remaining content with unpacking his school supplies in the bookshelves mounted on the wall above their personal desks. Their dorm mates had stayed downstairs, chatting with their friends after a whole summer without seeing each other.

"Did you send out your catalogues yet?" Harry asked, smoothly changing the subject "from memory, you had a fair few to send," an image of Cedric, over the summer, slaving over thousands of pieces of parchment while making them flashed in his mind's eye.

"Sirius and the elves are taking care of it," he answered as he fished out something from his trunk "you want to see the final product?"

Harry accepted the A4-sized piece of parchment, impressed with how nice, yet simple, the business' catalogue looked. A simple black cauldron sat in the bottom right corner, steaming, with a stirrer leaning out of it diagonally. Atop the stirrer sat a black raven, its small yet beautiful looking body surrounded by the green gasses the cauldron was producing. The catalogue read:

Monty Black's Miraculous Concoctions

We Guarantee Perfection in a vial!

No longer feel hampered or distressed over frivolous things such as zits, rashes, scars, bruises or lack of protection, we have the cure to your ails for the cheapest price, guaranteed!

De-Zitter draught – 1G

Are you getting ready to ask out that 'special someone' only to realize you have a horrible zit marring your beautiful or handsome features? Worry not! We at MBMC guarantee that, for a small fee, the De-Zitter draught will fix that problem for you in no time at all!

Anti-Rash tonic – 2G 4S

Having problems with cheap brooms causing vicious chafing and leaving rashes? Are you uncomfortable showing your body off proudly due to pesky and unattractive rashes? You needn't worry; MBMC is at your service with this cheap and effective potion! Not only is it cheap, it is good for multiple uses!

Super Scar Vanisher – 1G 10S

Have you ever been in a dangerous situation, and the only thing you have to show for it is an unnatural and hideous scar? With the Super Scar Vanisher, all you need to do is apply a small amount to either side of the scar and it will vanish right before your eyes!

Delores Unbruise – 3G

Got in a fight and need to remove the evidence? Delores Unbruise will remove those ugly disfigurements from any part of your body, no questions asked!

The 'Happy Ending' tonic 1G 15S

Are you planning a special evening with that special someone, only to have he or she back out because they're worried about the repercussions? If so, this is the potion for you! We guarantee eight hours of absolute safety with this ultimate contraceptive!

Custom Brews - ?G

You have a particular potion that is not on this list that you urgently need? Send the name of the potion to the P.O box listed below and we'll reply to you within twenty-four hours whether or not we can brew it for you and the cost!

This is solely dependant on the size of the rash

Does not work with Cursed Scars or Scars inflicted by magic

The naming of this potion had nothing to do with the Senior Undersecretary for the Minister of Magic or the disgusting things they cure

Yes, we mean unprotected sex

A fee of 5S will be charged for our speedy reply

"There are more terms and conditions on the back," Archie said, as Harry finished reading the catalogue "mainly about our guarantee and what not – what do you think?"

"It certainly gets the point across," he chuckled "I especially like the name of your anti-bruising potion."

"That was Sirius' idea," Archie chuckled "Cedric thought it was mean until we told him all about that whore – wait, that's not right, whore implies that people would pay her for sex . . ."

Harry snorted in agreement as he read through the terms and conditions, finding them acceptable.

"We've arranged for hundreds to be dropped during breakfast tomorrow at all the major schools in Europe," Archie explained "with any luck, we'll be getting orders soon, and then the cash will start flowing in."

"We'll see," Harry mumbled quietly, hoping Archie was right "I'm gonna hang around here for a bit, I'll see you tomorrow," he told his friend while pulling out a book from his trunk. Archie grunted in response and headed back downstairs, eager to catch up with his fellow Ravenclaws while Harry relaxed in his new desk chair.

A week into the start of the semester found Harry lounging beside the window overlooking the mountains surrounding Hogwarts with one of Salazar's books in hand. Many who approached him, wanting to speak with him or just be in his presence, figured he was reading an advanced Runic book.

It was no secret in Ravenclaw how knowledgeable the ebony haired teen was when it came to his studies. One didn't simply obtain the number one student for their year four years in a row and not garner attention from his peers. Often, the number one spot for a certain year would be a coin toss as the top three or four students were always that close together in marks. Unfortunately for those Harry's year, he was simply too far ahead of everyone. It got to the point where his peers merely fought for second place; knowing first was just going to be his regardless.

Harry didn't do anything to dissuade them of their way of thinking – If they thought he was some intellectual genius, let them. It simply gave him cause to ignore them if he had a book in his hand, something he took advantage of almost constantly. Harry would easily admit to anyone that asked that he was somewhat anti-social, and not a 'people' person. Which is why it frustrated him to no end when people still insisted on trying to befriend him while knowing this – it's not like he altered his personality for the public, everyone who cared to look knew what kind of person he was.

Harry didn't see himself as mean or cruel; the way he saw it was he generally dislikes everyone until he gets to know them well enough to think otherwise. However, he also doesn't really like getting to know people he dislikes.

It really was a vicious cycle that Harry had no interest in changing; it seemed to be working, after all.

That sort of mentality allowed him to spend times like this in silence, surrounded by beautiful scenery and – generally – a peaceful environment . . .

"Harry!" Penelope Clearwater, the Head girl, called loudly from across the room in an irritated voice "Cedric Diggory is at the door, he wants to speak with you, it seems urgent!"

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Getting up from his comfy seat, he made his way across the room to the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room to see a winded Cedric, hands on his knees, with an angry expression on his face.

"Harry!" he called urgently when the green eyed boy stepped out of the common room and into the corridor "The Dementors attacked Archie when he was watching me during Quidditch practice," he informed urgently "he's in the hospital wing, I came to get you as soon as Madam Pomfrey said he'd be okay."

"It's always something," he mumbled under his breath, quietly enough so Cedric couldn't hear. It was true enough though; every time he managed to find time to himself, something would come along and royally rape that idea in the ass "give me a second."

Walking back into the common room, the door was still slightly open enough that he didn't have to answer an intellectual riddle "Does anyone have a bar of chocolate on them?"

It was almost laughable how many people rocketed out of their chairs to offer him their chocolate bars. One girl, however, sat in the corner with her friends, blissfully ignoring him while munching on her chocolate bar. Making a quick decision, Harry pinched her half eaten chocolate bar right out of her hands and walked back out of the room, leaving a shocked first year behind wondering what in Merlin's name just happened.

"Harry!" Cedric scolded "You just stole candy from a first year!" he sounded appalled, Harry wondered why.

"I know," Harry replied dryly "funny, right?"

"No!" damn Hufflepuffs "she looked like she was about to cry."

"That's even funnier," Harry reasoned, ignoring the gob smacked Hufflepuff beside him as the two made their way to the Hospital wing.

The two arrived in the hospital wing to see Dumbledore, Flitwick, McGonagall, and Fudge arguing heatedly in the far corner while Pomfrey fussed over the pale and twitching form of Archie.

"I told them this would happen," he heard the fussing Medi-witch mutter under her breath as she performed several heating charms on Archie and forced calming draughts down his throat "but did they listen? Nope!" she grumbled "irresponsible gits!"

"Madam?" Harry interrupted the woman's grumbling dryly, trying to break her out of her ranting "give him this, it'll help."

The woman spun around at the sound of Harry's voice and almost reflexively began to scold him before spotting the chocolate bar in his hands. They really should stock the stuff this year if this was a sign of things to come.

"You two shouldn't be here," she turned around after feeding Archie some chocolate "it's almost curfew!"

"That's what I said," Harry agreed "but Cedric here – rudely I might add – pulled me from my reading time and practically dragged me down here, appalling behaviour, if you ask me."

"I did not!" Cedric denied while Pomfrey ignored them.

"Stop being a prat Harry," Archie chuckled weakly from his bed, the chocolate having done its job "and just ignore him Cedric, reacting to him will just encourage him."

"I resent that," Harry smirked down at his friend "what have I told you about accepting candy from Dementors?"

"This isn't a laughing matter Mister Potter!" Pomfrey scolded while Archie rasped out a laugh at the joke.

"I hope you enjoyed your chocolate," Cedric glared at Harry "he stole it from a first year before coming!"

"'Stole' is such a harsh word," Harry complained "I prefer 'sequestered'."

"Hah," Archie laughed "he actually stole the girl's candy? That's funny."

"See?" Cedric didn't look pleased.

"It's not funny!" he replied hotly.

"You boys quiet down and behave!" Madam Pomfrey hissed "I need to speak with the headmaster for a few moments, don't leave that bed Mister Montague!"

"Yes ma'am" he saluted the Medi-witch, ignoring her glare.

Once Pomfrey joined the other adults in their heated argument, about the Dementor's presence no doubt, Harry turned to Archie and asked "Can you walk?"

Archie frowned and got up from his bed, glad that he was still wearing the clothes he was wearing before he passed out. His head felt a little dizzy at first, but other than that, he was fine.

"Alright, let's sneak out. I'm not waiting around here with Fudge in the room," Harry frowned "the urge to kill him is just too great to risk."

Knowing he wasn't kidding, Cedric, Archie and Harry snuck out of the room before Pomfrey could notice. The scolding they'd receive if she spotted them trying to run would be annoying to say the least.

Once they were a safe distance away from the hospital wing, Archie felt it safe to slow down and say what was on his mind.

"Harry, mate," he began slowly, a hint of desperation in his voice "I never truly understood what was so bad about Dementors, well, I did, but experiencing it first hand is a completely different thing all together . . ."

"What I think he's trying to say is," Cedric picked up for the recently recovered Ravenclaw "we want to know a way to defend against the Dementors. I've read about them in my Defence books, but none of them tell you how to combat one, just to avoid them if possible . . ."

Harry sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He really didn't feel like tutoring anyone, he was certain he'd most definitely be cajoled into tutoring a younger student, as per the Ravenclaw house rules, this year, anyone else would just be annoying.

"Well, there's a few ways to combat a Dementor," Harry began "one is a method widely recognized as universally unreliable, and that's to set them on fire."

"Why is that universally unreliable?" Archie asked "those cloaks don't look to resistant to flame, and I can do a mean Incendio."

"What the first thing you noticed when the Dementors approached you Archades," Harry asked with a frustrated sigh.

Archie's eyes glazed over as he began to tremble slightly, the memory seemed to still be fresh in his mind "Cold, I felt cold and like I would never feel happiness again . . ."

"Exactly," Harry spoke "you felt cold. Dementors exude a frost like aura around them, freezing nearly everything in a ten meter radius. Conjuring flame in such conditions is usually impossible."

"What other methods are there then?" Cedric asked, looking to Archie with a worried frown.

"There are plenty of methods, but the simplest one at the moment for me to teach you would be the use of the Patronus charm," Harry answered "usually, wizards and witches our age can't perform the spell very well, but you two are fairly competent when it comes to practising magic, so it should be okay."

"I've heard of that spell," Archie said with a frown "it's based off positive emotions and exudes an aura opposite to the Dementor's one pretty much . . ."

"Well, that's the gist of it," Harry agreed "follow me," Harry ordered before stepping into an empty and unused classroom they were passing and casting several locking charms on the door before turning to his two friends.

"I'm only going to show you this once, so pay attention," with a flick of his wrist, Harry's wand was magically summoned into his hand"Expecto Patronum," he spoke the incantation loudly and clearly while showing the necessary wand movement.

At first, nothing seemed to happen, but a mere second after Harry used the spell, a brilliant white light shot out from his wand, forcing Archie and Cedric to shield their eyes briefly. When they regained their visibility, they were shocked to see a waist height feline like creature circling Harry while brushing up against him.

"It's a black panther," Harry elaborated "It took me a while to figure it out, seeing as its skin is technically white," he deadpanned "this is what is called a corporeal Patronus; it's what you can expect to conjure when you master the spell. It works by forcing the Dementor to feed off the positive energy it exudes and attacking them once you get it in its corporeal form," Harry explained "don't expect to make a corporeal Patronus for a while though, it will take time. At first you'll most likely just produce a white mist from the tip of your wand that will form a shield instead of what you see here."

"What do we do to get our shield into corporeal animals then?" Cedric asked, while absently petting the panther's head. He was shocked to discover that the phantom looking creature was completely solid and felt quite warm to the touch.

"This is one of the few advanced spells you will learn that's power relies on a perfect balance of power and emotion," Harry lectured "the stronger the emotion of happiness, the better chances of success you'll have. Of course, if you don't put enough power behind the spell, you could be getting a blow job as you cast it and still only produce mist."

"Does it have to be a memory, or can it be a thought?" Archie asked, he too joining in with Cedric in petting the corporeal feline, who seemed to be enjoying the attention.

"As long as it makes you feel happy, it doesn't matter," Harry shrugged "there's three levels of strength for this spell. The first is the mist you will most likely produce first to form a shield, the second will create a phantom manifestation to protect you and the third will create a corporeal manifestation that can also combat physically. Many can perform the first two steps, it's the third that everyone has trouble with" Harry dismissed his Patronus with a flick of his wand "I hope you'll need no further instruction with this then?"

Archie chuckled nervously "Show me the wand movements again real quick?"

Harry did so, despite his growing desire to kick Archie in the balls.

Harry sighed tiredly as he casually strolled around the castle alone late in the afternoon. It seemed that this year, more than other years, the fifth year students figured the common room was their domain to study for their OWLs. He'd never noticed how annoying it could be until people he shared classes with begun to treat him like a professor, asking him questions about their studies and expecting him to answer just because he shared the class with them.

After refusing to answer the seventh person who came up to him to ask a question, he decided to go for a walk around the castle to get some peace and quiet.

Unfortunately, his last peaceful domain wasn't much of a secret anymore, with Cedric and Archie knowing about it. Soon enough, someone will spot one of the two entering the room and he'd be left to hole up in his room once again for some peace and quiet.

What he needed was a room no other student in the castle knew about, one he could sit in peacefully and do as he wished without worrying about people questioning him on what he was reading, or annoying him in general.

It was too bad that simply 'needing' such a room wouldn't make it appear out of thin air, or he'd be in business. So, with that thought in mind, Harry continued to stroll along the long corridors of Hogwarts while idly playing with a galleon coin as he did so.

Flicking the coin into the air, Harry misjudged the trajectory of the coin's downward path when an odd portrait of Barnabas the Barmy, trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet, caused him to lose concentration and miss catching the coin. The galleon fell to the ground with a soft tinkle and rolled behind him a few meters before coming to a stop.

Frowning, Harry turned back and picked it up without thinking before returning to the task at hand, his need to find a new place in the castle where he could study and relax in peace.

A weird whooshing sound accompanied by a nondescript door materializing out of the wall caught the attention of the young Quidditch star. Harry frowned and looked down both ends of the hall to make sure he was alone before investigating.

Certain that he was indeed alone, Harry opened the newly materialized door to find himself in a room that was too good to be true. A room the size of his study back at Moony Nights with numerous bookshelves (each filled to the brim with old looking tomes), a large fireplace crackling away innocently with a large and comfortable looking chair placed right near it.

The style of the room, strangely enough, also matched his room back at Moony Nights, which was quite suspect considering he was certain that no room in Hogwarts was decorated in such a way.

The room was perfect for what he needed, Harry thought, though he guessed it would probably be a bit too much to ask if it were just a little bigger so he could also practise some of his spells, should he get bored. It didn't matter though; this room would suit his needs perfectly.

Harry was about to go examine the tomes on the closest bookshelf when, miraculously, the room started to morph before his eyes into something much different and infinitely better. Where the room was originally a modestly sized study, it now connected to a larger, circular shaped room with a high dome ceiling. The room also had a human shaped dummy placed in its direct centre with several targets painted on its wooden body.

It was surreal to observe the room change before his eyes. It was as if it responded to what he wanted. . .

"No fucking way," Harry exclaimed in awe. Decided to test his theory, Harry focused on the fact that he needed the dummy in the middle of the room to be more responsive and more life-like if it were to be useful for his purposes.

The dummy flashed once brightly before its wooden arms sprang to life, followed by its wooden legs. The dummy shook its head a couple of times before circling around the point it was originally attached to in the centre of the room, its face never leaving the spot Harry was standing at.

"There's no way I'm this lucky. . ." he mumbled to himself, slightly in awe at the infinite usefulness this room possessed, especially if it did what he thought it did.

'I need to know every detail there is to know about this room,' Harry thought clearly in his head. He almost giggled like the little school girls that constantly followed him when a huge scroll fell from the ceiling and landed before his feet. Unrolling the scroll, he began to read:

The Room of Requirement

Congratulations, Harry James Potter, on your discovery of, truly, the most wonderful room Hogwarts has to offer.

The Room of Requirement can only be found by those who are in need, that pass by the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy, trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet three times. Your need must be at the forefront of your mind while passing by the portrait three times if the room is to appear for you.

The Room's main purpose is in its name - to provide the occupant with what they require. The list of things one can find in this room is infinite, but of course, there are always limitations on such magnificent phenomenon:

Anything the room conjures for the occupant cannot be removed from the room. You will find that it will instantly be destroyed if you attempt to do so.

One cannot enter the room if it already in use and the person entering does not know the reason the room is in use for.

The room itself is unplottable and any additional wards one tries to add will instantly fail.

Objects brought into the room or occupants that are brought into the room cannot be altered or changed. The room can only conjure, alter, and use its magic on the things it creates, nothing more, nothing less.

The objects or effects the room can create are somewhat limited to what the occupant knows of and understands, and also what the room and the castle itself knows and understands.

Enjoy the wonders this room has to offer Harry James Potter, for they are now yours to enjoy, should you wish it. The room's only limitation is that of your imagination.

"No fucking way. . ." Harry eloquently exclaimed in awe. The possibilities were endless! No longer will he find himself in need of a sparring partner for his magical or swordsmanship abilities. No longer will he have to endure the other Ravenclaws annoying him when he wanted peace and quiet. No longer will he have to hide his abilities if he wants to test his capabilities!

'I need that dummy to have an equal amount of skill in magic that I do, without the ability to harm or kill me' Harry focused intently, hoping beyond hope that this would work.

A large grin spread across his face when the dummy flashed once again, only for it to transform into a mirror image of himself, though his eyes were a soulless black instead of his mother's vibrant green.

With a flick of his wand, Harry conjured a whip of flame from the tip of his wand. Flinging it at the dummy, Harry's grin only widened to an almost psychotic level when the dummy stabbed his wand into the air, causing a wall of stone and earth to rise up from the ground and defend against the whip.

What better way to improve your abilities then by sparring against someone who is just as good as you?!

For the first time in a long, long time. Harry James Potter was truly excited!

"It seems to have worked better than I expected, Mister Potter," the good doctor informed the young man after the MRI scan was completed.

"Oh?" the boy exclaimed curiously "how so?"

"You see, we can configure the MRI to detect a number of things, one of them being heat. Tell me, Mister Potter, in what way would you describe the feeling of magic flowing through your body?"

"Warmth," Harry explained, understanding where the doctor was coming from "you can detect magic using this machine then?"

"In a way, yes," the doctor began to explain with excitement "You see, magic cannot be detected with the use of technology, simply because it has no physical presence, only spiritual."

Harry frowned thoughtfully "So what you're trying to say is that you can't actively detect magic yet with any of your scanners, but you can determine its existence and presence by its affect on other objects?" he asked "Kind of like dark matter?"

"I'm impressed, Mister Potter, not many wizards can boast about possessing much knowledge about astrophysics."

Harry waved off the praise "I don't know much about astrophysics, I learnt about dark matter on the discovery channel – it's rather fascinating, actually."

"Regardless, you're very much right. The way in which I can detect magic in your brain is by actually trying to scan the effects it's having on you rather than the magic itself," he explained "here, take a look."

The doctor showed him the monitor screen where a picture of what Harry assumed was his brain was displayed next to a regular brain.

"As you can see, this is a thermal scan of your brain and that of a regular muggle's. The difference is remarkable, but I figure that even for a wizard, these results aren't normal," the doctor was pointing to thick streaks of red flowing through his brain, dangerously close to the arteries "the excess magic flowing through your brain is causing an abnormal amount of heat, which is overheating and stressing the arteries, eventually, the heat will cause the arteries to melt and you'll haemorrhage into your brain and die."

"Lovely," Harry responded dryly "assuming the temperature doesn't increase, can you give an estimate as to how long I have before such an unfortunate thing as that occurs?"

The doctor frowned in thought as he performed some calculations before giving his answer "Well, assuming the heat the excess magic is giving off doesn't increase exponentially any time soon, I theorize that the strain on the arteries will finally become too much in roughly five years, though the severity of the migraines will only increase until that time, I'd assume, in proportion with the increase in stress."

"Is there no muggle medication that could decrease the pain?" Harry asked "I don't think I need to tell you how sudden migraines could be bad for my health in my world."

"Yes, of course," the doctor frowned as the two made their way back to his office "I'll write you a permanent prescription for the best pain killer I know, it's the best I can do," he said dejectedly "I'm afraid we're only ahead of our magical counterparts in medical diagnosis; I wouldn't operate on you even if you forced me, we just don't have the information available to help . . ."

"That's fine doctor," Harry reassured as he looked over the prescription "I have something in mind to fix this, with the time frame you've given me and the pain killers, everything should be fine . . ."

"Do let me know, will you?" he said with a chuckle "as loathe as I am to admit it, I'm rather fascinated by all of this, your condition especially."

Harry smirked in the doctor's direction "Don't lie," he said "you aren't as loathe to admit it as you say you are."

The doctor only answered with an amused chuckle as he handed Harry a small slip of paper.

With a tired sigh, Harry pushed passed the door to the Ravenclaw common room, intent on taking a half an hour shower before passing out on his bed. Tonight's training session was rather brutal, much more than usual, with their game against Germany coming up soon; coach had them there training until midnight.

"Harry!" Archie's voice exclaimed from beside the fireplace "About time you got back!"

Harry looked over to where Archie was sitting, surprised that he was still awake at this time. He was the only person in the common room other than himself, the rest of the students having already retired to their rooms for sleep.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Archades?" Harry asked, as he saw down heavily on the chair across from the grinning boy.

"I may have a lead on one of the ingredients you asked for," the boy's grin only widened when he noticed he had Harry's complete attention "I've been fishing around for rumours that could prove true in Greece, and I found one I think is rather likely in being credible."

"A rumour that is likely to be credible?" Harry asked with a raised brow "that doesn't sound like much of a solid lead."

Archie just waved Harry off "It's the best you could ever hope for, especially with this particular ingredient. Gorgons, after all, are supposedly a long extinct race of vicious female warriors who were apparently cursed by the gods for stealing the husbands of influential women."

"Skanky hoes," Harry joked, but realized his use of Ebonics was completely lost on Archie.

"Anyway, there's an Urban legend amongst the natives of Naxos, a small island off the east coast of Greece," Archie began "they say that women who treat their husbands poorly and don't show them any appreciation will wind up losing them forever to the sea – crazy right?"

"I've learned to realize that with every legend, especially in the magical world, there is always some truth," Harry motioned for Archie to continue.

"Well, right, I looked into it further, and apparently, there have been fourteen disappearances in the last decade, that's not the strange part though; apparently, every person who disappeared was a man; not only that, their bodies were also never found."

"Never found?" Harry echoed "You'd imagine the law enforcement would want to investigate such a thing as fourteen unexplained disappearances. . ."

"That's the thing though, they did look. Get this though, after a few weeks or so of searching, a stone sculpture of the disappeared man appears washed up on the shore, usually broken, as if it made a long journey," Archie grinned "and unless there's a serial killer who goes around kidnapping his prey, killing them, sculpturing them and returning said statues, broken, to the main land, I'd say there's something fishy going on."

"Almost as if the men were petrified and tossed out to sea," Harry said dryly "a theorized ability of the Gorgon has always been to petrify anyone with a gaze."

"Right, but that's not even the craziest part," Archie continued "every man who disappeared had a wife who was cheating on them, a wife who decided to shag some random native, before they disappeared."

"That would make them a viable suspect;" Harry frowned "did anything come from it?"

"Nope, the wives usually didn't care, but there was never any proof that they were involved, and I don't think there will ever be," Archie frowned "it's a bit of a ridiculous coincidence that every single one of the reported disappeared males had unfaithful wives – if you ask me, the Gorgon, if she exists, picked her prey based on that and lured them out to the beach, where she would capture them."

"Being magical, it wouldn't be that hard for them to accomplish," Harry mused "or disguise a head of venomous snakes, for that matter."

Archie snorted "Right, not to mention that a man who's just discovered his wife has cheated on him would be feeling rather vindictive," he pointed out "that and more than a little susceptible to seduction tactics."

"You think the Gorgon could be somewhere on Naxos?" Harry asked "surely someone else would have made this connection and realized of a Gorgon's existence . . ."

"That's just it; I don'tthink the Gorgon is on Naxos, I think she'd be aroundit."

"You mean like in the ocean?" Harry asked rhetorically "there'd have to be some sort of underwater structure nearby; Gorgon's don't exactly have gills, but they are said to be able to hold their breath for long period of time. . ."

"A useful talent for one of their kind, I'm sure," Archie snorted in amusement.

"A temple maybe?" Harry asked, ignoring the sexual joke "Gorgons were hunted for their blood thousands of years ago; maybe this one went into hiding, hoping to avoid capture."

"Yeah," Archie said wistfully "blood taken from the left side of a Gorgon is said to have been an instantly fatal poison while the blood from the right side could bring the dead back to life. I hope you know that we're splitting the blood fifty-fifty, that poison would make the best enchanted weapons!"

Amused by his friend's enthusiasm, Harry just shook his head "I'll look into possible temples surrounding the island of Naxos; if the Gorgon is hiding, its best bet would be inside a temple no one has entered in thousands of years. . ." Harry trailed off at the end of his sentence as he looked into the fire, seemingly in thought.

"You think there'd be magic protecting the temple, don't you?" Archie asked knowingly.

"Definitely," Harry agreed "there's no other explanation for a temple not being found by muggle satellites and sonar technology," he explained "You did good Archades; let me know when you have something else."

"Don't compliment me," Archie shivered "It's weird, I feel sullied and unusual."

"Your face is doing a good enough job at making you look sullied and unusual," Harry grinned "I suppose I shouldn't add to that by complimenting you, good night bitch."

"Are you calling me ugly?!" Archie hollered at Harry's back as the ebony haired teen ascended the stairs, ignoring his irate friend.

"What does he know, right Stephy-bear?"

The teddy bear sitting beside him, dressed in a mini Beauxbatons uniform with long dark hair topped with a powder blue hat, looked back at him innocently with black plastic eyes. He continued to stare at it, as if expecting it to answer if he looked at it long enough.

"Yeah, you're right, I am the epitome of manliness . . . hey, did he call me a bitch?!"

"Mate, there's just no point, we're never going to win the Quidditch cup at this rate," Cedric exclaimed gloomily from his seat in the defence class with his Ravenclaw friends.

"The new recruits are that bad?" Archie asked with a frown as Harry continued to doodle away in his notebook, completely oblivious to the world around him. Archie just said he doodled though because he didn't want to admit he didn't understand what it was Harry was writing down.

Cedric stammered at Archie's question, not sure how to answer without inadvertently insulting someone "It's not that they're bad . . ."

"That means they're bad," Archie said with a nod "you're a good enough seeker though, why don't you just end the games as quickly as possible?"

"Better than 'good enough' from what I hear," Harry said from his position on the other side of Archie mysteriously.

"Be that as it may," Cedric had flushed in embarrassment from the praise "it's still rather hard to compete on a comet 260 when your opponents are all getting better brooms than you are. I usually like to think it's the seeker's skill and not the broom that makes them, but it's just so hard to keep up with the likes of the Nimbus makes every other team seems to have."

Archie frowned "School Snitches should be different to professional ones, they're easier to catch and less erratic, I think," he mused "Harry, you've seen both up close, is there much of a difference?"

Without stopping what he was doing, Harry answered "A league level Snitch is like a school level one on snuff dust, while a national league Snitch is like a league level one on snuff dust and completely shit-faced drunk. There's no way you can predict their movements like you can here, they're completely retarded."

Cedric pursed his lips "Do you have to use that word?"

"I'm sorry, do you prefer 'poopy-faced drunk'?" Harry replied sarcastically.

"You know that's not the word I meant!" Cedric snapped, his cheeks flushed in both embarrassment and anger. He wasn't that much of a prude; at least he'dgotten laid!

"Enough ladies," Archie interrupted, feeling incredibly pleased with himself after having diffused the situation in such a cool way "what Harry's saying though is, these idiots chasing the snitch on the broom here will never make it pro because it's just that much different. Players like you who value flying skill, just as much as speed, are the ones scouts look out for."

"Like Charles," Harry pointed out.

"Like Weasley number two," Archie agreed.

"That still doesn't help me though," he mumbled "I'll still lose because of my shitty," he shot a glare at Harry "broom and Hufflepuff will lose the house and Quidditch cup again. . ."

"Oh will you stop whining, besides, the professor's here," Archie exclaimed pleasantly, he'd much rather expend his energy by ogling the new, beautiful, defence professor. The beautiful ex-Auror would definitely make OWL study this year much more pleasant. The look on Cedric's face showed that he agreed wholeheartedly.

Filius Flitwick was faced with quite the conundrum, one that he wasn't sure how to resolve. It was tradition in the house of Ravenclaw that all students who pass their OWLs had to at least tutor one student in any year below them before taking the exams. Actually, to call it a tradition was making light of the Ravenclaw house rule, it wasstrongly recommended.

In fact, according to records, the last student who refused to tutor someone was refused the right to partake in the OWL examination.

That situation was slightly different than the one he found himself in now though. While Harry Potter certainly wasn't the most pleasant company, he didn't decline because he didn't want to. Well, maybe he would have if he had the time to do so, but that was neither here nor there.

How could he force one of his best students to tutor someone when he had to deal with not only his OWL examinations, but also his national Quidditch responsibilities, his own independent studies and the management of his businesses? Especially with knowing how much time tutoring could take if you are to be successful in teaching someone.

Also, there was the problem with what the child would teach should he be forced to tutor someone. Despite what many people thought, he was not ignorant in any way shape or form, he knew the boy's methods were far from conventional, but they seemed to work for him. In fact, Filius had spied the boy using silent casting in his second year, a feat not properly mastered until well beyond one's NEWT studies.

This was why the tutoring system was so successful, not only did students get to learn from their experienced professors, but they also got to learn from their extremely clever housemates the ways in which they too learned the material. It assures that Ravenclaw will always remain at the top academically. Minerva often boasted the abilities of one of her little lions, but never would he hear her try and compare the girl with Harry, there was just no contest, even when the boy was back in third year himself.

Given the facts, there was really only one option he could take, and to be honest, it wasn't that much of a sacrifice given the boy's current class performance.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," he called out, cursing his annoyingly squeaky voice; it often made him the subject of ridicule.

The door opened, allowing Harry Potter entrance. The boy had a bored look on his face as he entered carrying a book with markings on it that he couldn't recognize.

"You called for me professor?"

"Ah, Harry, please sit," Flitwick motioned to the chair on the opposite side of his desk "would you like some tea?"

"No thank you, I'm fine," he took a swig from his flask "you know, your head girl is rather rude, barging into the dormitories uninvited and what not. You should really see to it that if we are not permitted access to the girl's rooms, that they aren't allowed access to ours."

Flitwick chuckled at the boy's annoyance "I am under no illusion about what night time activities occur in my house, Mister Potter, I'd imagine if that such a rule were created, you would be the subject of many of your peers' ire."

"Sacrifices must be made for the good of the school," Harry replied indifferently.

"You mean for the good of Harry Potter?" Flitwick asked, amusement clearly dancing in his eyes.

"Now you're talking semantics professor, what is it that you wanted?"

"I'm sure you know of the requirements Ravenclaw house demands of her students if they wish to take the OWL examinations," he hinted.

"Let's dispense with the false pleasantries, we both know that I know this, and we both know that it was generally expected that I be exempt from this rule due to my duties for England."

"I like to think pleasantries between us will never become false, Harry," he said tiredly "but you know that I cannot show favouritism towards any student, despite their situation," seeing the beginnings of a frown on Harry's face, he raised his hand "that does not mean I cannot make compromises, now does it?"

Harry gave him a searching, seemingly analysing his motives, before smirking at his head of house "You wouldn't happen to have shared your thoughts with Minerva now have you?"

"Professor Minerva, Harry," Flitwick chided with a chuckle "I may have had a few discussions regarded her newfound desire to show us her support during our competitive Quidditch matches."

"Weird, that," Harry grinned "I personally think the blue works to accentuate her impressive bust . . ."

Harry tilted his head to the right to dodge the spray of tea that came from the other side of the desk from the little professor "Share those thoughts, do you?" he asked his head of house.

Harry wanted to laugh as the elderly champion dueller became flustered and began to organize the papers around on his desk "Yes, well, what if I were to say that you were exempt from any homework I assign in any of my classes provided you can prove to me you do not need it?"

"I suppose telling you that I can conjure a Fiendfyre and control the flame wouldn't help then?" he asked hopefully.

"Something truthful, my boy," his head of house chided.

"What about a personal modification to an already complicated charm then?" Harry asked "I assure you that the headmaster would be most interested in it, at least I think he should be."

"Go on then, don't forget the ability to do as you please in my class is on the line," he joked, knowing such a thing would be wondrous in the boy's book.

With a clockwise swirl of his wand and an extremely happy thought, a white panther leapt out of his wand and circled Flitwick. Harry was amused to see the professor look slightly disappointed.

"You're only going to show me the Patronus charm?" Harry almost laughed at the absurd statement that only went to show how high expectations were of him, luckily for the professor though, he wasn't quite done.

The large cat stopped behind the professor, who had gotten up from his chair to observe his Patronus, and hefted the little man up onto its shoulder from between its legs.

Flitwick squeaked in shock "What in Merlin's name?"

"Professor," the disembodied voice of Harry Potter spoke, but to the little charm professor's shock, Harry lips hadn't moved. The boy merely motioned down to the physical Patronus "I bet this is the first pussy you've seen in a long time," the panther looked like it smirked after it finished speaking.

"Mister Potter!" Flitwick screamed scandalized "I'll have you know that as a world class duelling champion, I've had my fair share of . . ."

"I think that for the sake of both our sanities, you should not finish that sentence," the real Harry spoke this time "the spell isn't very efficient for long distance messaging, but anything within 10 kilometres should be possible, I haven't really tested it."

"Remarkable," the young professor admired "truly splendid," he poked the quickly agitating feline as Harry dismissed it.

"I only have to tutor one person and it will only be for this year?" Harry asked.

"Yes, of course," the little professor was in a daze "and you'll no longer have to do any assignments I give in my class – provided you teach me that spell first!"

Harry nodded in satisfaction, he may have to tutor some lower year, but at least he didn't have to do those ridiculously easy Charms assignments anymore.

After another session in the Room of Requirement, Harry was on his way back to the Ravenclaw common room to get this tutoring business sorted out when a small crowd caught his attention. The good thing about being a Quidditch star, he had to admit, is that walking through crowds became a non-issue; people would just scramble away from you and part the proverbial sea.

"Archades," Harry spotted his friend "what's going on?"

The brown haired boy spun around when he heard the voice, but calmed down when he saw it was Harry "Hey mate," he greeted "okay, here's what happened. Lovegood bumped into Malfoy, Malfoy called her a mudblood and insulted her dead mother and then Longbottom comes to try and save the day," he summarized quite successfully.

"Try?" Harry spied Longbottom aiming his wand at Malfoy, who had his two goons ready to use their meaty fists to solve the problem rather then resort to something as 'complicated' as magic.

"Well, he basically just called him an inbred aristocrat with delusions of grandeur," Archie summarized.

"He actually said that?" Harry asked doubtfully.

"Well, no, I just translated it from idiot for you," Archie grinned at his own joke, earning a snort of amusement from Harry.

"People still call other people 'mudblood'?" he almost sounded disappointed "that's so 1980s, and very redneck of them too. . ." that train of thought gave Harry a devious idea "Hey Archades?"

His friend turned to him once again when Harry started whispering instructions into his ear. At first Archie seemed confused and incredulous, but the further Harry got into his explanation (admittedly, a rather long one for a whispered conversation), the more the boy understood.

"Okay, do you understand?" Harry asked, making sure. He hoped the muggleborn students of the school caught on to the joke quick enough, he really didn't want to have to deal with a bunch of snivelling brats going to the headmaster to have a cry.

"I think so, if this doesn't work though, we're not friends and I don't know you," he cleared out with a grin.

"Fine, whatever," Harry dismissed the issue and vanished around the corner where he would make his entrance – a rather hard task for a celebrity to accomplish.

"Apologize to her Malfoy or I'll hex you into next week!" Longbottom threatened, rather lamely. Personally, Archie thought Harry and he were much more threatening when they dealt with Flint.

"Hey mud, what's going on?" Harry's voice called out over the crowd at Archie, causing several people to gasp in shock and the general consternation to die down instantly.

"Oh, hey mudblood," Archie greeted pleasantly "it's just Malfoy and Longbottom having at it again, Malfoy was calling Lovegood a mudblood."

"Is that all?" Harry said with faux disappointment "Mudblood please! That fool wouldn't know an insult if it hit him in the face; hey mud, have you had much experience with things hitting you in the face?" Harry directed the question at the Malfoy heir, who was looking at him with no small amount of shock.

Archie just made a coughing noise that sounding incredibly like 'bukake', earning several chuckles from those who understood what such a term meant, though most were still looking at them in shock.

"Regardless of what dear Draco does, or does not, likes getting his face covered with, we need to get the mud out of here, I have some things I need to do."

"Foshizzle my mudbizzle," Archie turned and began to walk away with Harry following close behind. As Harry passed the slightly dazed looking Luna Lovegood, he smirked in her direction and was only slightly surprised to see her wink at him. That girl was a strange one.

"Harry, what's a mudbizzle?" Archie asked, once the two were out of hearing range.

"It doesn't matter Archades," Harry answered "by this time tomorrow, I guarantee you that everyone will be calling everyone else a mudblood and think it's cool."

True to his word, the students of the school really did start referring to each other as mud or mudblood, completely destroying any chance the unintelligent pureblood supremacists had for insulting their peers.

It was rather amusing to see the professors' shock when friends would casually greet each other using the once hated and disgusting term. It was even more amusing to see their reactions when the professors were told that they were doing it because Harry Potter was doing it; Amusing and Bizarre.

Regardless of the results of his little pseudo-prank, he still had a task to do.

"You," Harry pointed to the blonde haired girl with turnip earrings "weird girl."

Luna Lovegood turned around, slightly surprised that Harry Potter was addressing her "Hello Harry Potter."

"Salutations," he replied dryly "follow me," he instructed her rather bluntly.

"Foshizzle my mudbizzle," she replied happily, as she got up from her seat, closed her book and followed Harry to the seat by the window overlooking the Hogwarts grounds.

"Filius tells me that I need to tutor someone, like everyone else, if I want to take my OWLs," he began "I've decided that I'm going to tutor you for the remainder of the school term."

The normally spaced out girl adopted a look of shock before her pleasantly dazed expression made a reappearance on her features "What brought on this random act of charity?" she asked "I'm afraid I don't have any chocolate, the Nargles are taking them from me," she frowned "they don't usually like chocolate though, it's rather strange."

"Fascinating," he ignored her blabbering "read this book, it's solely based on the theory behind the laws of transfiguration, I'll test you on its contents in a month's time, so make sure you have it memorized."

Luna's already large eyes bulged further out of her skull as Harry dropped the massive tome on the table between them "You read that in your own time; for the next hour, we'll be discussing the difference between Egyptian based hieroglyphic runes and Inca based hieroglyphic runes, as well as their uses for setting up both offensive and defensive wards."

The chatter around them died instantly, everyone was eager to see what Harry would teach the lucky girl who happened to land the boy as her tutor. People's opinions, however, changed rather quickly when they heard what he had already tasked her to do in the first five minutes of their lesson.

"Um," she began uncertainly "I don't take Ancient Runes; I'm only a second year. . ."

"You won't learn this in Ancient Runes," Harry countered "If I was going to waste my time while doing this, I'd think of a much more creative way of doing it rather then teaching you what you can easily learn in your own time. Now, tell me, what do you know of Egyptian and Inca runes?"

"Nothing," she exclaimed brightly as Harry frowned and rummaged around in the pocket of his cardigan before tossing her another impossibly large tome.

"There, more reading material for you," he clapped his hands "teaching is quite fun," he informed the worried girl dryly "You should know that if I don't see you reading, it means you have nothing new to learn; which then means that you are therefore asking for me to teach you something new for you've already learnt what I've given you; which also means that you're ready to discuss whatever it is I've taught you and to be tested on it. Have you already learnt the contents of those tomes Luna?"

Many of the students watching the spectacle were slightly taken aback at the speed in which the girl pulled out the Transfiguration book and started reading, even more of them were taken aback when she'd constantly pause in her reading and ask for something to be explained only for Harry to patiently describe it to her. It seemed that the normally quiet and reserved boy could become quite talkative and passionate when you ask him the right questions.

'Can I be your girlfriend?' is not one of them.

None of the students were more shocked by the display than Archie was though. The boy had returned late from a session in the library where he had to help five fourth year students with a potions assignment only to see Harry scribbling in that damn notebook of his while occasionally explaining advanced Transfiguration theory to her.

". . .so conjuration is considered a branch of Transfiguration rather then charms because you are literally transfiguring air particles into something much more impressive, rather than using a charm to make them magically appear. Good evening Archades."

Archie looked between the two several times before responding.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he asked "Who are you and what have you done with Harry Potter?"

"Do shut up," Harry snapped "you're making yourself look like a bigger idiot than usual."

"Explain this to me then," Archie demanded "us mere mortals who make it our business to study the behavior of the creature known as Harrius Pottius in its natural habitat are quite confused by your behavior, believe it or not."

"You see what I have to put up with Luna?" Harry asked the girl who was avidly reading the tome she had received from her new tutor "he constantly comes up with idiotic statements like this that just make him look and sound more moronic than you previously thought possible."

"The Nargles tell me he's very cute though," the second year giggled airily as Archie looked at the two weirdly.

"Do the Nargles know he has a small penis?" Harry asked seriously.

"Shut up Harry!" Archie snapped before looking over to a group of girls who were giggling in his direction "that's not true, honestly, he's just being a dick," he tried to dissuade the girls who were whispering amongst themselves.

"The Nargles are telling me that they don't mind either way," she said with a smile.

"The male or the female ones?" Harry asked, buying into this nonsense merely because it seemed to be a good way to annoy Archie.

Luna didn't answer, instead, she opted to smile mysteriously at the two boys as Archie raged at his friend "Why can't you teach me like that?" he whined "I've asked you like, a million times!"

"First, Luna here is a great student. She does what she's told and lets me get on with my own business while she's doing it," he motioned to his own notebook and the girl reading her new tomes diligently "Second, she's infinitely less annoying than you, which isn't much of an accomplishment now that I think about," he ignored Archie's pout "and thirdly, she doesn't ask me stupid questions. Besides, you have a far more important task to do so snap to it, I'm busy."

"Miss Lovegood," Archie dropped to his knees and cupped the second year girl's hands in his own "please, resist the temptation that will no doubt make itself known to turn into this heinous creature," he faux sobbed while motioning to Harry "he may seem cool at first, but really, he's just bitter because he knows he'll never be as good looking as I am, and it eats him up on the inside!"

"Do you know he has a teddy-bear that he dresses up as Stephanie Zabini and seeks council from her?" Harry informed his new student, who coughed into her hand to hide her laugh "I've seen him try to feed it before too, like an incredibly gay and warped tea party being hosted by a fifteen year old."

Archie's face was beet red in embarrassment as several people surrounding them giggled at the information "Oh yeah?" he challenged, a cruel smirk marring his handsome features "Harry Potter is still a virgin and likes girls who are just as powerful and smart as him!" he yelled to the common room, eliciting gasps from the female population while Harry groaned in annoyance.

"You better sleep with one eye open Archades," he warned his friend with a tired sigh "I know I'm going to be feeling particular vengeful before the night is through."

The boy tried and failed to suppress the shiver the went up his spine, the one that he always got when he knew something bad was going to happen to him.

Harry nibbled at the sausage that was skewered on his fork liberally while thinking back to last night's shenanigans. He had indeed gone up to bed feeling quite vengeful, and due to that, had decided that he would transfigure Archie's mattress into a hundred snakes. The girlish screams of agony were more than enough to sate his lust for revenge, especially considering the injury Archie had endured.

The doors to the great hall opened with a loud creek, admitting Archie walking slowly over to the seat opposite Harry; the boy was painfully wincing with every step he took.

Finally, after making his way to the Ravenclaw table, he glared at Harry "I hate you," he mumbled before sitting down on the chair and hissing in pain the second his rear end made contact with the wooden seat "I can't believe I got bitten on the ass by a fucking poisonous snake, who does that to their friends?!" he asked rhetorically, while Harry just ignored him.

A loud set of screeching noises marked the arrival of the Hogwarts owl delivery service. One of the owls, Harry immediately recognized as Bartholomew while another was carrying something easily distinguishable, despite its packaging, straight towards the Hufflepuff table.

A large broom shaped package dropped before the shocked Cedric Diggory causing him to look around the room wildly. The only person who didn't seem interested in the package's contents was Harry, who was still eating his breakfast and blissfully ignoring everyone around him as usual.

Going first to the card attached to the package, Cedric plucked it from the brown wrapping paper and noticed that it was a card addressed to him with his name written on it in handwriting that seemed oddly familiar. Ripping open the envelope, he read the message on the small bit of parchment inside:

Happy Birthday

You risked your life for me at the end of last year, this is the least I could do (even though I didn't really need the help. . .) Let it be known that I probably wouldn't have gotten this for you if it weren't for the fact that you'd continue bitching pathetically until you got something of its kind.


"It's a Firebolt!" one of Cedric's friends exclaimed in shock as excited whispers broke out on the Hufflepuff table while jealous ones began on the other three.

"The English national team all use them!"

"They're said to be the fastest brooms in the world!"

"It does naught to one fifty in ten seconds!"

"They don't even tell you the price of them at Quidditch stores; they say that if you have to ask, you probably can't afford it."

"We'll win the Quidditch cup for sure!"

As the excited whispers continued, Cedric continued to stare at Harry in shock while every other Quidditch fan in the room surrounded the boy to get a better look at his new broom.