Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or related material. I also do not own any material or characters of DC Comics. This is my only Disclaimer.
A/N: Yes this is a re-post... I've edited and added a few things... not much but its there if you look. (Lordships mostly and a few continuity issues)
Harry Potter and the Hangover
Ok... I know this is going to sound cliché and extremely cheesy, but hangover's suck. They're also one of the few times when, even though I can't remember a single moment after I became Drunk, I can think about and remember my life with almost perfect clarity. So despite the pain of having my brain trying to claw its way out of my skull, I can build up my Occlumency barriers like a master and replay all the memories of my sixteen years of life.
My name is Harry James Potter-Black. I'm as I said, sixteen years old... and I'm a wizard. That's right, wand-waving, robe-wearing, potion-making, Broomstick-riding Wizard. Now I'm sure that if you're reading this you at least know a little bit about my life up to this point, so I won't bore you with the details. I will however summarize for those who don't know or have never heard of me. And as I'm rather famous in the magical community of Great Britain, I'm sure you've at least heard of me. Otherwise, why would you be reading this?
I was born July 31st, 1980. My Father was James Charlus Potter and my mother was Lily Rose Potter (nee Evans).
On October 31st, 1981, My parents were killed by Tom Marvolo Riddle aka Lord Voldemort. When Voldemort attempted to kill me, something happened, I survived an unsurvivable curse and his body was obliterated.
November 2nd, 1981, I was left on the doorstep of the Dursley's, in the middle of the night.
My room for the next nine and a half years was the cupboard under the stairs, I cooked, cleaned, painted and did all the minor housework and even some of the major (Changing all the electrical sockets in the house sucks when you're five and don't know to turn the breakers off).
July 31st, 1991, I learn I'm a wizard, that my parents were wizards and that I get to go to a boarding school. Oh and I'm rich, Lord of my Ancient and Noble House and Heir Apparent of another.
September 1st, 1991, I'm off to Hogwarts, I meet Hermione Granger on the train, we immediately hit it off and become friends. Sorted into Ravenclaw with my new friend later that night.
October 31st, 1991, one Ronald Weasley insults Hermione for attempting to help him with the levitation charm (she was slightly bossy with her tone, but she's definitely gotten a hold on that). I save her from a Troll that wanders into the bathroom we're in, after comforting her all day, by jumping on its back, jamming my wand up its nose and firing off a stinging hex ( a powerful one thanks to my heightened emotions of self-preservation and anger at the redheaded git).
December 25th, 1991, First Christmas presents ever received, including my father's Invisibility Cloak and a whole new wardrobe courtesy of the Granger's whom allowed me to stay over the holidays.
End of First Year 1992, Hermione and I save the Philosopher's Stone from Quirrelmort. Stone turns out to be fake, Quirrel dies by disintegration after attempting to choke Hermione and I grab his head to pull him off. Dumbledore dodges all questions about incident and sends me back to the Dursley's for summer, ignoring The Granger's offer to house me for the holidays.
Summer 1992, I stay no more than a week at the Dursley's before the Granger's pick me up with Hermione leading the charge. Dobby the House Elf attempts to keep me away from Hogwarts and gets both Hermione and I in trouble for Underage Magic. Dumbledore attempts to convince the Granger's to take me back to the Dursley's. We all go to France, I get to see Hermione in a bikini (her mother too, so I have a very good idea of what she'll look like when she older, Beautiful). Gilderoy Lockhart attempts to use my fame to get on the front page, I kneed him in the balls the moment his arm grabs my shoulders (great picture by the way) Hermione cracks the subtle infatuation charm on Lockhart's books with my stubbornness pointing out all the overlapping and blatant inconsistencies.
September 1st, 1992, the portal to the train gets blocked for some reason, leaving me and Hermione trapped on the mundane side (I hate the word muggle and refuse to use it). Professor Flitwick comes after Mrs. Weasley flooed Dumbledore and informed him that Ronald Weasley took their enchanted car and flew it to Hogwarts, and that we were still there. Ronald Weasley crashes car into Whomping Willow, a new year starts. Meet Nymphadora Tonks (sixth year) when exiting the kitchens for midnight snack.
October 31st, 1992, Message in blood about the Chamber of Secrets being open and a petrified Mrs. Norris (cat).
December 25th, 1992, Second Christmas with the Granger's, I kiss Hermione on the cheek under the Mistletoe. Nym and her family join us for Boxing Day and New Year's.
May 8th, 1993, Hermione is found petrified. The clue as to what is doing so is in her hand, a Basilisk.
End of Second Year, I head into the Chamber of Secrets with Nym (she stays under the cloak), meet Tom Marvolo Riddle's sixteen year old self, learn the anagram for his name, defeat the Basilisk (with major help from Fawkes and the sorting hat) with Gryffindor's Sword, poisoned by Basilisk healed by Phoenix Tears (Nym kept Ginny out of harm's way and distracted Riddle's shade). Freed Dobby from Lucius Malfoy, Hermione unpetrified and kisses me on the lips (chaste and quick).
Summer 1993, Sent to Dursley's by Dumbledore again, that lasted for a day. Another trip to France with the Granger's, smaller bikini on both Emma (Mrs. Granger) and Hermione, Nym came with as well (all three look amazing in bikinis). News of Sirius Black's escape, I inform Hermione and Nym that I'm Heir Apparent of House Black, Nym tells about how we're family (third cousins twice removed I think) and Andromeda (Nym's mom) confesses that she never believed that Sirius was guilty and that he's my Godfather. In an attempt to learn more, I write to Amelia Bones requesting the trial transcripts of Sirius Black, which kick starts an investigation as there are no records of his trial let alone his conviction.
September 1st, 1993, Dementors invade train, 3 children kissed. Dumbledore attempts to persuade me into dropping Runes and Arithmancy for Divination, fails. Dementors are withdrawn form Hogwarts.
October 31st, 1993, Sirius Black enters Hogwarts, attempts to get into Gryffindor Tower which debunks theory that he's after me and brings more questions about his innocence.
November 30th, 1993, Thanks to Marauder's Map, find and hide Sirius Black in Chamber of Secrets. Also find the The Rat (Pettigrew) is in Gryffindor Tower. Convince Sirius not to kill him and enlist the help of Professor Lupin.
December 25th, 1993, Christmas at the Granger's with Sirius, who has been staying with them (in Grim form mostly) and getting healthier for the last month. Nym and Andromeda embrace their lost cousin in tearful reunion on Boxing Day. I kiss Hermione on the lips under the mistletoe (longer but still chaste) and Nym on the cheek and lips (quick and chaste).
End of Third Year, Pettigrew captured, tried, sentenced and executed, Sirius found innocent and compensated for wrongful imprisonment. Sirius gains guardianship of me (magical and mundane). Nym Graduates third from top of her class, plans to join Aurors or Curse Breakers of Gringotts.
Summer 1994, Sirius takes us all (Granger's, Tonks' and myself) to Black Island in the Caribbean. Skimpier bikinis all around (Hermione is definitely developing and Nym shows off her base form, nice). Sirius acquires tickets to Quidditch World Cup, Nym can't make it as her training at Gringotts starts before and lasts a year. Veela mascots don't seem to affect me or Sirius (much). Death Eaters crash the after party, I meet and save Fleur Delacour from being raped and killed, Lucius Malfoy and other Death Eaters I stunned are arrested for attempted rape, attempted murder and their past actions are brought to light through Veritaserum. Lucius and twelve other Death Eaters sentenced to Kiss. Narcissa Black nee Malfoy (Aunt Cissy) reunites with her sister and cousin (Andromeda and Sirius). Draco learns the hard way not to be a bigoted asshole. Visions of an old man dyeing and a baby Voldemort appear in my dreams.
October 31st, 1994, My name comes out of the Goblet of Fire as the Fourth Champion of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Fleur vouches for me that I wouldn't put my name in willingly, all champions demand the tournament be called as a tie, and the Goblet re-lit with only the three champions entering their names. Dumbledore and the others capitulate and again, my name comes out even though I did not enter. Everyone in the Great Hall is witness to my being forced to compete. I ask Hermione to be my Girlfriend, she accepts. Our first real kiss sends off fireworks in my brain, Neither of us notice the Golden Aura that envelops us.
November 24th, 1994, First Task of the Tournament, we champions all know its Dragons, I talk to a Dragon (she was actually quite nice, just irritated her clutch was endangered by the journey) and she gives me the golden egg, no real challenge on my part. Got my egg in 2 minutes. Scored only 30 points (the School heads gave me no more than a four).
December 25th, 1994, The Yule Ball, Hermione is gorgeous, we dance all night, only stopping a few times to rest and enjoy the garden (Snog City). Hermione encourages me to dance with Fleur who is not happy with her date, I get a long peck on the cheek for brightening her night. Hermione and I explore a more physical relationship (Second base at most, clothes were still on but our hands felt hot flesh).
February 24th, 1995, Second Task, I rescue Hermione and Gabrielle Delacour (Fleur's young sister) from the lake with Gillyweed and in under half an hour. Gabi was awake and beginning to drown when I arrived so I couldn't wait for Fleur. Both Hermione and Fleur kiss me hard on the lips in appreciation (again a faint golden aura surrounds Fleur Hermione and me, goes unnoticed). Hermione was put under the lake against her will.
June 24th, 1995, Third Task, Voldemort's resurrection, my torture and escape, Professor Moody found to be a polyjuiced Barty Crouch Junior. Minister Fudge refuses to see reason about Voldemort. Dumbledore attempts to convince Sirius that I need to go to the Dursley's for my protection, again fails.
End of Fourth Year, all champions remain friends, Fleur kisses both me and Hermione, gives Hermione a book on polyamorous relationships in the magical world.
Summer 1995, At Grimmauld Place for a week, Nym moves in, Kisses and flirts with me and Hermione when she's there. Kisses me hard on the lips with Hermione in the room, Golden Aura encompasses all of us, goes unnoticed again. Off to Black Island with Granger's and Tonks' and Delacour's. Skimpiest bikinis yet (might as well be topless) Hermione asks if I still want her as a girlfriend, or as my only girlfriend. She approaches Nym and Fleur about a Polyamorous relationship, they accept and I now have three incredibly sexy girlfriends. Kissing and much more physical relationship begins, (oral and heavy petting both given and received by all four of us, Hermione, Nym and Fleur explore their bisexual nature). News of the Dursley's deaths by Dementors. Wizengamot attempts to convict me with a kangaroo court on the charge of not being their to prevent the deaths thus I am guilty of killing them, Sirius and Jean-Paul (Fleur's father, Vice-Minister of Magic of France) set them straight. Dumbledore attempts to 'save' me from kangaroo court, big fail. Hermione is made prefect, turns in her badge when she finds out I'm not a prefect. Visions of a hallway appear in my dreams.
September 2nd, 1995, Professor Umbridge attempts to bait me into a confrontation by basically calling me a liar in class, fails. Proceeds to not teach a single thing about defense to any class regardless of year.
October 5th, 1995, Hermione convinces me to start a secret Defense Club, Several people from all houses and years join including Draco Black and Ginny Weasley. Dobby shows Hermione and I the Room of Requirement.
December 25th, 1995, another wonderful Christmas, this time at Grimmauld place with the Granger's and Tonks'. I receive oral from Hermione and Nym at the same time, as well as give (gotta appreciate how my parseltongue makes them go crazy). Fleur shows up on Boxing day, gives and receives same present as Nym and Hermione. Draco brings his girlfriend (Tracey Davis) to New Year's Party. Vision of tall, dark-skinned man attacked by snake on New Year's Day. Kingsley Shacklebolt found dead in Hall of Prophecy, Dumbledore tries to convince Sirius to let Snape teach me Occlumency, Bigger Fail. Sirius begins teaching Nym, Hermione, Fleur and me Occlumency, Snape continues teaching me and Hermione at school.
Easter 1996, Umbridge is informed of the Defense Association (DA, misinterpreted as Dumbledore's Army), Dumbledore takes blame, entire association save the traitor (Weaslette) serve detention. Ginny attempts to apologize by offering herself as payment, Epic fail, especially after Hermione is done with her.
June 1996, After O.W.L.'s, Vision of Sirius tortured by Voldemort. I ask Dobby to find Sirius and make sure he's ok. Dobby returns with a note from Sirius saying he's fine. Next night, Vision of Emma being tortured and raped in the ministry, unable to locate her. Me, Hermione, Draco, Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom attempt to get to the ministry and see if Emma is there, caught trying to leave by Umbridge. Show Umbridge to Grawp (Hagrid's Half-Brother) Umbridge dragged off by centaurs after angering them. Luna suggests Thestrals, Hermione and I convince her that Dobby and Winky are the faster method. Rescue/trap at the empty Ministry, breaking the Prophecy, the fight with Bellatrix LeStrange and other Death Eaters. Time stops when Hermione goes down from a silent curse, I kill the caster. Time restarts when Neville says she's alive. I cut a swath through the DE's as Draco and Neville carry Hermione, Luna watches our backs. Trapped in the Veil Room, Sirius, Moony, Nym, Fleur, Aunt Andy and Aunt Cissy show up and fight the DE's. Bellatrix curses Sirius into the veil. I torture Bellatrix, Neville stops me, her sisters detain her. We all slowly head to the Lobby, Voldemort shows up, we duel, I'm holding my own, Dumbledore shows up and takes over the duel in an attempt to once again 'save' me. Dumbledore barely holds up against Voldemort but does manage to drive him off. Voldemort attempts to possess me, is immediately driven out by my love for Hermione Nym and Fleur, I see a flash of violet hair and eyes as my scar splits open and black gunk oozes out. Voldemort escapes with The LeStranges but not before being seen by the Minister and half the ministry, I manage to stay conscious and accompany Hermione to the hospital. Nym and Fleur keep watch as I pass out from exhaustion.
Summer 1996, Gringotts owls me about Sirius' Will, I'm emancipated and become Lord Potter, Lord Black, Lord Peverell, Lord Gryffindor and Lord Slytherin. Dumbledore tries to make me go to the Weasley's for protection and reveals the prophecy. I blow up his office and disarm him, keeping his wand. I stay at Grimmauld Place, Dobby and Winky take over Kreacher's duties, Hermione, Nym and Fleur comfort me (non-sexually) Moony shows up with a letter from Sirius after my sixteenth Birthday. Letter convinces me to go on a trip he had planned, at the very least I should live the way he and my parents would want me to and not mope and brood. Moony, Nym, Fleur and Hermione (with her parents' permission) join me on my trip to Las Vegas, Nevada.
And the absolute last thing I remember, was having too many drinks (thanks Moony, way to be the responsible adult) and Hermione telling me that I should talk to the hot purple haired young woman at the bar... And here I am now. Waking up with a killer hangover, in a bed that is not mine (I certainly do not recognize the room, too big and luxurious) naked and with the feeling of nice warm and supple flesh pressed against all sides of my body. Wait, coal black hair and large tits and tight arse against right hip and leg, that's Nym's base form. Wavy brunette, medium tits and cracking arse under my right arm and on my chest, definitely Hermione. Corn yellow Blonde with a body made from sin itself, opposite Nym, that's Fleur. Ok, that's an affirmative on my girlfriends, so who's on my left? Let's see, Purple hair, medium sized perky breasts, tight cute little bubble butt, naked, pale almost grey skin, purple eyes... oh shit, she's awake.
"Um... Good Morning?" She kisses me, I'm sure my breath stinks,
"Afternoon Mr. Potter. How is my husband this morning?" Her smile is brilliant and I'm hard as a rock and aching for something I don't remember having, "Oh, I see we didn't wear you out last night after all." An extremely cute giggle escapes her as she slowly caresses my manhood and nibbles at my collar. Suddenly and unfortunately my brain engages as the hangover slowly becomes manageable and latches onto what she said.
"Wha... Husband?!" I look at her left hand, ring finger. Yup, there's a ring. I look at my own left hand, ring? Check. Hermione? Ring on finger. Nym and Fleur as well? Yup. "Oh shit." Blue screen appears, emergency shutdown. Sweet unconsciousness, prepare for reboot.
A/N: Hello, Thank you for reading my story. Please review with constructive criticism... If you don't like then please don't read.
A/N2: This is a reponse to Bloody Brandy's Vegas Wedding Challenge