Disclaimer: I still do not own Castle, nor do I own 50 First Dates. This chapter and its dialogue are heavily inspired by the corresponding scene in 50 First Dates.
Richard Castle is charming. Women love Richard Castle. Surely he can do this.
However, Kate Beckett is not just some woman. Kate Beckett is way out of his league, and she isn't the type to fawn over him for his money. He's lost two significant advantages.
But he's trying. And he's not gonna give up.
The first day he goes back to Remy's, he tries traditional pickups, but he gets shot down.
The second day, he sends a cup of coffee with a heart in the foam (the waiter he talked to looked at him like he was a crazy person) over to her table. She looked around with a furrowed brow, and then she got up and left.
The third day, he goes over to her table to read a corny poem he wrote last night (he is running out of ideas) and before he can open his mouth, she starts speaking Russian.
He would definitely be offended if it wasn't the hottest thing he's ever witnessed. Ever. In his entire life. Wow.
On the fourth day, he tries something truly desperate. He will look back on this day with intense embarrassment, unless it works.
It's times like these that remind him that even though she doesn't remember all of his terrible attempts at wooing her, all of the staff and regular customers definitely do. He's about to blow all of his other failures out of the water.
He splashes a little water on his face and begins to sniffle.
He gets increasingly louder, making little hiccups that turn into fake, frustrated sobs. He even bangs his fist on the bar just once, before hanging his head in defeat. Sure enough, he feels the shift in the air as she settles onto the barstool beside him.
"Excuse me sir?" She sounds extremely reluctant to talk to him, but still genuinely concerned. He guesses that it's a cop thing.
"Are you…okay?" she tries.
He just fakes a couple more gasping sobs and turns his head away from her.
"Wait, uh…is there anything I can help you with?"
It's time to drop the bomb. Here goes nothing.
"I…I can't read." He breaks down into more fake (so fake) hysterics, while she sits there looking confused. She pats his shoulder with a stiff, tentative hand to try to comfort him.
"Well…Do you want me to read the menu for you?" She looks so hilariously uncomfortable and he is praying that this will work, but he's so happy just to talk to her again.
He sits up. "No. I've... I've got it, thank you." He then proceeds to try to pronounce the word 'hamburger' with more fake effort. He's gasping for breath and looking like he's in physical pain, and he wonders why he thought that this is how an illiterate person would act. She helps him along with wide eyes as she pronounces the syllables in a guilty voice.
After he eventually orders with her help, he collapses on the bar in hysterics again, and she puts both of her hands on his shoulders and urges him to look at her.
"Here, why don't you come over to my table and we can read the paper together, okay?"
He of course goes over there, thrilled by his small victory. It's not until he sees the newspaper from over a year ago sitting in her hand that he realizes that this is only for today. It's not until he listens to her shocked reactions over old news that he realizes that this is forever.
He walks her to her car. She's laughing at one of his stupid jokes, and he delights in the sound of it. Everything about her is completely intoxicating.
Especially the fact that her car is not a car. She's picking up a helmet and straddling a motorcycle, and he is standing there like an idiot.
"I'll see you around, Detective."
She waves at him before he turns around. He's a couple feet away when he hears her say:
"Are you serious?"
He turns around. "What?"
"All that flirting, and that fake 'I can't read' stuff, and you're not even gonna ask me for my phone number?"
He stands there spluttering. He should have known. Kate Beckett is not stupid. "Well, I-"
"Save it. Thanks, but no thanks."
She gives him a sly smile and speeds away on her extremely hot motorcycle. He stands there watching her retreating form from his place on the sidewalk.
There's always tomorrow.
Author's Note: Super sorry with how long this took, especially since it's kinda short. My life has been hectic and I have been writing and rewriting this chapter trying to make it worth the wait. *cough cough* Reviews definitely make me write faster. ;) But seriously. I apologize for the wait. I'm working on some other stuff too, so stay tuned! I also do not have a beta so all errors are mine. This is also very very similar to the scene in 50 First Dates. This will be the only chapter like that, and it's only because this is my favorite scene and I didn't want to mess with perfection (the I-Can't-Read thing is literally my favorite thing to ever happen in a movie). Thank you so much for reading!
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