There are moments in everyone's life, when the universe pauses to etch a memory with clarity and vivid detail. It's a memory, that incorporates all the senses. Some of those moments are shared with many: the Challenger Disaster, 9/11, a favorite team winning a championship. There are deeply personal moments that define a life: a first kiss, scoring in the game, having sex for the first time, losing a family member. For Kate Beckett the deepest etched moment had been when Detective Raglan's words had ruined her life. She had defined her life by that moment.
The moment, that was burned clearly into her brain, was when Raglan had said the words, "I am so sorry to inform you.." She could still hear her heart stop momentarily, feel the tears that sprang to her eyes. Her father had wrapped her in a hug, and they had clung to each other and sobbed. Her mind and soul had gone numb. She could smell the garlic from his dinner and the Old Spice cologne that clung to her father. She could feel her father's sobbing breaths on her neck. It had been the pivotal moment of her life.
Before her Mother was murdered was a separate life. Her entire world was different before. Life had joy and love and possibilities. She would have a future that included parents, and a law career, and maybe, just maybe a husband and 2 kids.
After her Mother's murder, Kate no longer sought joy or love or a future. All she strove for was justice. She dreamed of experiencing the satisfaction of seeing the death or imprisonment of the SOB who killed her Mother. Her one goal in life was to find that SOB. Once it became clear that she would be denied success in her quest to find it for her own family, she had had to settle for finding justice for other families. That was her life, until Richard Castle barged into it.
Now she had joyful, blissful, loving, sensual, and happy moments etched into her mind. She chose to remember The First Kiss. She could feel his lips on her mouth and his hands in her hair; felt the wall of his chest against her own, and the strength of his arms around her. She could taste his mouth and breathe his scent. She could hear herself moan with her lust. That sound was followed by the chuckle of Lockwood's guard, and the ache in her heart when she had to end the kiss to knock the man out.
She would retrieve and submerge herself in that moment. Let her heart quicken with the joy she had felt; let her arousal feed off the memory of his touch, his taste, his warmth. It was all she had to cling to for over a year.
Kate felt the heat from that long ago kiss and touched her lips. She let her thoughts travel to their next kiss, the moment that led to their Always. It had been a day filled with determination, stupidity, pain, fear, insight and determination once again. The bad memories were seared into her brain just as profoundly as the joy, but she ignored them. She dwelt on the power of her joy, when Rick yielded to what their hearts wanted; as he surrendered to the passion they had deferred for years, and gave them a future.
Kate's coffee was cold. She rose from the sofa in the Great Room of the loft, gravitating to the promise of black, liquid bliss. There was still coffee in the pot, and she had time to savor it. She was home alone, and Rick's plane wasn't due for hours. She could bask in her memories and drink their special blend, until time to leave for the airport.
A/N: I was spending time in my memories, when the idea for this story struck. I was inspired by how detailed some memories are. I plan to add chapters, whenever the inspiration strikes.