Rating: PG-13 – very mild language
Spoilers: I really don't think so.
Disclaimer: I don't own either of them, and I certainly am making no money off of this whatsoever.
Summary: The conversations two agents have on those long, long road trips.
I found this on an old hard drive and I didn't even recognize it as mine, however, I am fairly confident that I did write it, just too long ago to remember all the details. It is short, and perhaps it could be a running bunch of vignettes (if you all would be interested in reading that).
Reviews, questions, comments, all are welcome, please!
"What the hell is this, Scully?"
She glanced at him, taking her eyes off the long stretch of road for just a moment.
"Mulder, what are you doing in my purse!"
"I ran out of sunflower seeds. What is this?"
She sighed. It was like dealing with a child. "A Hot Tamale, Mulder. Surely you've had one before?"
"No. Damn, it is hot. Do you have more?"
"You ate the whole box?"
Scully sighed again and shook her head, forcing herself to concentrate on her driving.
"Oh, Scully, remember this song?" He turned up the dial on the radio. "Aha, make me toniiiiight, toniiiiight, toooniiiiight!"
"Jesus, Mulder, you're singing louder than the radio."
He turned the dial down. "What?"
"Nothing. I didn't take you for a Blondie fan."
He shrugged, turning up the radio a bit more. "I wasn't a fan of the music per se, but I did love to watch Debbie Harry sing. Hell, I'd watch her do dishes."
She hated to smile too wide at his jokes, it only encouraged him, but one slipped by anyway.
"My first high school dance was to Atomic. Sean Reilly and I had been dating less than a week. He touched my hair, then grabbed my ass, then I removed his hand... then he tried again, and I punched his kidney."
Mulder laughed. "You punched his kidney? You knew where that was at 16?"
"Fifteen. And yes, I knew where that was, and I knew it would hurt. Atomic was also the last song I danced to at my first high school dance. We both got sent home."
"Oh my god, Scully, that is the best story I have heard in a long time. You are full of secrets."
She shrugged. "You just have to ask."
"No, seriously, Scully, I have documentation in the X-Files archives. It's true."
"Just because you have a file on it in the archives, does not make it true, Mulder."
"So you don't believe someone can leave their body temporarily in times of crisis."
"Not like you're suggesting, Mulder. Certainly during times of great stress or terror the mind uses coping methods, and some people feel like they have removed themselves from the situation, they may imagine themselves elsewhere or block it out completely, but it doesn't mean they've actually 'left their body,' as you put it."
"Not just leave their body, Scully, but take over someone else's. The other person seems to go into a sort of limbo, not remembering anything. A sort of lost time."
"You can't just jump bodies, Mulder. If you could, why doesn't everyone do it?"
"You have anyone's body in mind that you want to jump, Scully?"
She rolled her eyes.
"You wouldn't have to pee so much if you'd stop drinking that herbal shit, Scully. It smells like shit too." He grimaced looking at the empty cup.
"I'm stopping here," she said, flicking on her blinker and looking over her shoulder as she switched across three lanes.
"Watch it, Mario Andretti." He held on to the dash in front of him, glancing to ensure she didn't cut anyone off. "This is why you never drive. Who taught you anyway?"
"I should have known. He probably traveled back in time, told his younger self to teach you to drive like a menace, all in anticipation of killing me on a road trip."
"Shut up, Mulder," she said, screeching to a stop in front of the gas station.
"All that salt intake isn't good for you, Mulder. And you never drink anything. At least I keep a bottle of water with me."
"What more can I do that's good for my health, Scully? I quit smoking, I rarely drink, I work out, you don't let me chase shadowy figures out into the night anymore... let me have the damn sunflower seeds."
"Get the unsalted kind then. They have so many varieties now, flavoured in other ways."
"What, roasted with bee pollen?"
"Don't be facetious, Mulder. I'm talking about your health. Your eating habits aren't the best and you're not getting any younger."
"Oh yeah? What about you?"
"What about me?" she challenged.
"You probably only eat 500 calories a day. I know you're tiny, Scully, but I'm pretty sure that's not enough."
"I eat more than that, Mulder."
"Oh really? I've been sitting here with you all day and you had half a whole wheat bagel with light cream cheese - which makes you crabby - and a glass of grapefruit juice... oh, and coffee, no sugar. Then, while I ate a club sandwich for lunch, you had fat free yogurt and some tomatoes."
"It was an authentic Greek salad, Mulder, and Greek yogurt. It's very high in protein."
"It was a bunch of tomatoes and a few onions and cucumbers, that was it! And you washed it down with a refreshing glass of ice water. How many calories so far... 100?"
"I'm not. At least if you put bee pollen in the yogurt today you'd have added something to your diet."
"I'm pretty sure my physical score has beaten yours for the second year in a row. And I only lost three years ago because I was in the hospital."
He hated talking about her time in the hospital. He hated thinking about the fact that she ever needed to be in the hospital. He hated being reminded of her cancer.
"Fine," he mumbled.
"I only mention it because I care, Mulder."
So do I, Scully, he thought. So do I.