Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, Guys and Girls! How are you all doing?


So hey guys and girls!

Umm, I've had a couple difficulties when it comes to fiction lately...

would not load and RoyalRoad was apparently DDOS'd which made things difficult for me since I forgot my password and couldn't change it for whatever reason.

Over encumbered servers were the problem, apparently.

Anyways, its good to be back to FF! Here comes chapter eight of The Euphorian Acumenae! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break..


Several Days later... - ENN Hosting Room - Alexander's Point Of View...


Having manifested a temporary body upon the grounds of Euphoria, I made my way into the TV station of ENN, more commonly known as Euphoria News Network.

Easily getting past the guards, I enter inside of the room, promptly interrupting the speaker in the middle of the recording."-ere we can see th-What!? Who the!?*thunk*" Suddenly, the speaker falls down onto the table headfirst, alongside everyone else in the room but the cameraman.

Magic can be so handy sometimes. Turning around to face the cameraman, I spoke to the young boy."Now listen here kid. You are going to keep recording for as long as I want you to alright? And make sure that all of Euphoria sees this."

He nods, quick as lightning as he runs towards the computers and sets the correct coordinates. He returns to his post and nods at me."R-ready. W-we're l-live!"

Sitting onto the chair as I push the previous speaker out of her seat, I turn to look towards the camera with an insane smile and grin on my face."Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of Euphoria. I apologize for this sudden and, rather rude interruption of your evening news broadcast, but I am afraid that I don't have the time to do this differently. There are simply more important things around for me to do."

Coughing aloud as the cameraman shifts in his place, I smile even wider."You may or may not recognize me as this body is not one hundred percent alike to what I usually wear, but let me introduce myself for those who do not yet know me."

I stand up and bow."Hello, people of Euphoria. I am the man whom you know as Alexander J. Mercer, or Zeus, for short. I have a very important announcement to make and I want you to listen intently... Oh and, there is no point in trying to enter the building really, you guys just aren't strong enough to break any barrier I make."

Sitting back down, I create a detailed holograph out of pure mana, showing several interesting things. The map of an entire human body with a red dot in the middle of the brain, a vial filled with much the same crimson and black liquid and descriptions of several genetic modifications which I've made available."I must admit that I've spend quite some time traveling disguised among you, the so called *little people*."

Clearing my throat, I continue."While I was doing so, I've managed to notice an important little detail. Many of you despise what you've become and wish you could get your... humanity back." I manage to mutter out the last bit with clear distaste, which elicited a gulp from the boy holding the camera.

Letting out a massive sigh, I make sure that my following words are heard loud and clear."So, in light of that little revelation, I've decided to offer you all a... reprieve. I've made a new genetic modification which will reduce the amount of BlackLight cells within your body to one. This one cell will stay inside of your brain to ensure that any gene mods you've acquired so far and those you'll want in the future, up to a number of five, will not kill you and/or mutilate your body in any way, shape or form."

I form a cup of coffee and drink some as I look down upon it in thought before continuing."This will... as you clearly desire, return your humanity to the way it was before you arrived on Euphoria. However, what this will also do is take away your current semi-immortality, as BlackLight does not truly age."

Another sigh."I am sorry but, since this is only something I've had a few hours to work on, I've managed to maximize the lifespan of those who take the mutation to sixty years. On a brighter note however, bear in mind that the BlackLight cell within your brain will constantly send out signals to renew your body's resistances and regenerate/salvage lost cells five times as quickly as a normal human would. This means that even if your lifespan will be bound to sixty years, as of right now anyway, you will be returned to how you were at your prime and stay that way for the full sixty years regardless of your current age."

Cracking my neck as the cameraman's eyes grow wide in realization."That means that if a person who is... per say fifty-seven right now, takes the mutation, their lifespan will be reset and they will get another extra sixty years to live, not three more left. More than that, that same person will return to how he or she was while twenty and stay that way until death."

Standing up, I walk towards the part of the holograph where the mutagen descriptions are."As you can see, the limit of gene mods a person can carry alongside this.. Black Cell, is five. Those who have more gene mods than that but still desire the Cell will have to discard some of those mutations."

Sitting back down, I continue."However, one final drawback still remains. Those with the Black Cell... upgrade, will not be able to use any form of offensive or defensive gene mods which had previously required shape shifting to use. In other words, you will only be able to acquire and use the mods which have been titled as *passive*. This is not because I do not want any of you to be strong, as some among you might think, but because its simply impossible to form claws and then immediately turn back to normal hands with a normal human body."

Another breath released, another sigh made."Anyhow, that is all I've wanted to say. Those of you who wish to gain this mutation now, simply think it loudly enough and a vial that looks like this one should appear in front of you... do make sure you catch it. That is all, this has been Alexander J. Mercer, see you... hopefully never again like this."

The cameraman simply gives me a thumbs up as he turns the camera off."Aaaand, were done."

Quirking an eyebrow at him, I ask."Not gonna ask for the gene mod?"

He shakes his head in negative."And lose my chance of ever becoming something more than human? Well fuck that."

"But you are starting out as a cameraman? Why not get a job at the executioners or hell just work at the tower? I'm sure at least one of those seven could use another servant, the freaks." I say with some distaste.

"They're the freaks? Aren't you supposedly a god over on Halkeginia?" He asks with a grin on his face and I shove my hands onto my forehead."Unlike them, I DID NOT ASK FOR THAT!"

Screaming out in frustration made the boy let out a laugh at my misery."That's a fair point, I guess."

I shake my head in annoyance."Whatever.. hey that reminds me of something... I actually kinda lied about going around as a person and asking people stuff.. you want a job, kid?"

Saluting me with full military manners as he lets the camera drop onto the ground."Arron Clyde, at your service, sir!"

I flick my fingers as I grin at him savagely and his body drops onto the ground with several spasms as he soon gets up, having went through several instantaneous changes, orange cracks leaking pure essence forming upon his body."W-wh-what just... happened?"

"Welcome to the chaos side, Mr Clyde. I most certainly expect great things from you, boy." He grins at me as his skin heals over the cracks, successfully transforming him from inside out, alongside a couple changes to his personality.

And then he falls back down onto the floor, as asleep as everyone else inside of the room."Welp, time to go, I guess."

Breaking the barrier around the building, I melt this body into nothingness in a blaze of hellfire.

Hmm, something tells me to go visit my EGBZ-1. It's been a while since I've last checked up on Caliope! I hope he's doing well...


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break..


Around that same time... - Star System Variant - Unknown's Point Of View...


"My Emperor! The warp was successful, I repeat, the warp was successful!" I let out a breath of relief as my pilot's excited yell echoed through the comm.

Taking a look around towards my scanner's, I ask one of my crew members, my pride, to give a report."Report! Are there any habitable planets in the solar system? Or, if not that, at least a gas giant which we can use to refuel?"

I asked... but I received no answer."Scanner! Report!" I say again, louder this time.

The boy turns towards me with terrified eyes."Y-y-your h-hi-highness... y-... I.. I don't believe my eyes..." He points towards the computer and I nearly leap out of my chair.

A deep gulp as silence cowers the room."W-what's g-going o-on?" One of my crew asks with fear lacing his voice.

"There seems to be two gas giants, one barren and two volcanic worlds... and a fourth.. world..." The boy speaks with confusion and fear in his voice.

"Darling? Is something the matter? Have we made it ye-oh golden deserts... What.. WHAT IN OBLIVION IS THAT?!" My dear wife, Ishtar The Fifth, an Empress and mother to much of our pride, exclaims as our ship passes a little further away from the blistering white-hot star to the right, revealing the fourth world... and the gigantic being floating next to it.

"By the sun... Is that a primal?!" I ask myself out loud as I turn back towards the scanner boy."Refocus the scanner away from the world and onto that thing, we need to know if we stand a chance!"

"R-right! I'm on it, sir!" He selects the enormous monstrosity, a being of seemingly pure energy the size of a large moon."Erkan, do we have the fuel for another warp?"

I shake my head in a slow negative."No, honey. Either we can beat that thing or convince it were friendly... or we are truly doomed this time."

We are no longer being chased by our enemy, no longer pursued to no end... but we also have no more fuel to run and to top it all off, our weapons are nearly all malfunctioning or broken. If this primal is anything bigger than C+ we may as well commit suicide right here and now."S...sir... sir... t.. the p-primal..."

A beginning of a sentence, but I can already see the doom in my crew member's eyes."I..it's an.. it's an S+."

Primal Beings are measured by the amount of overall energy which they possess... this being could power a small spacial empire for several decades. That's assuming it can't regenerate.

Then again, most of them can. I let out a massive sigh."Don't give up yet people, I will go and converse with this being myself... perhaps for worship, we can buy ourselves time to-*crash*"

"What just happened!" I exclaim out loud as our ship shakes harshly, but my pride quickly manages to stabilize it."A sudden change in the gravitational flow of the star system? What the hell is goi-.. it's moving a planet."

We watch as the being grasps one of the volcanic worlds into his hands and moves it away from the Star of its system, seemingly right into its comfort zone, no less. I turn my head around towards the scanner."Are you sure that thing is only an S+?"

He shakes his head in negative."T-that's the highest known g-grade, s-sir..."

"Interesting... To think I'd live to see the day where I am graded by my power level." A booming voice echoes throughout our ship as crimson energies collapse in front of me and soon, a strange, fur less, pink skinned being is formed with flesh and bone, forged out of nothing but energy.

I stare into the being for a good minute before he flicks his fingers and lets out a sigh in annoyance."I see you possess a tradition to stare at your guests before greeting them?"

Shaking my head in negative and raising my hand into the air to stop the guards from attacking my new... guest, I let myself fall back down onto the ground."Who are you?"

A calm question as my pride's tense atmosphere only increases from all this silence. The being offers me a savage grin."Is it not obvious enough? Fine then, I am the massive *primal*, whom you've just graded via scan."

"Physical Projection? No... you are fully here... a temporary body? But how?" My wife, ever the scientist, asks in equal wonder and fear.

To out surprise, the being quirks and eyebrow and smiles at her."Well, I simply willed my essence to collapse upon your ship, allowing me to spontaneously cause biomass to form wherever I wished within the area contaminated by that very essence."

He explains rather happily, as if proud of himself. My wife opens her mouth, most likely to ask another question, but I stop her as I turn to look the being right in the eye."So tell us our fate, primal? May we take some fuel and leave, or is our destruction what you seek?"

He laughs. Loudly, so loud that my heart nearly stopped the second the sound came forth for the first time."Destroy you? No boy, I will not exterminate your race. I have no desire to commit genocide upon anything.. well, except a few exceptions, like per say... The Undead."

"You... just how much do you know?" I ask him as my heart skips another beat. Our enemy... they who had chased us here... once our own people, infected with vampirism by the void, turned into hungering animals...

Now... we are all that is left of our once proud race that had not yet fallen to the dark."Every breath you take tells me a year of your lifetime, every gasp shows me a single secret..."

Our very breathing? Just by that? How... why... Before I can even respond, the being continues."But that is not important right now. I have seen your plight, I have seen.. terrible visions of monstrous acts and crimes against life itself. I will delete those visions from my memory soon... but first, let us give you a home upon which your race will recover."

Closing his eyes, the beings real body suddenly moves, crimson thunder forming at its hands as he blasts the volcanic planet which he had moved beforehand again, and again, and again. Soon, we bear witness to a miracle, as he draws in several hundred hydrogen comets from the nearby cluster and slams them into the world, erupting explosions of steam form the atmosphere. Then, as if things weren't impossible enough as it already was, he channels massive amounts of strange, orange energies throughout the world, creating biome upon biome, as the once volcanic world... turns into a T5 Paradise.

He opens his eyes."Do you have any extra food on you? I can use it to better suit the ecosystem to your preference."

The speed at which I turned my head around towards the guards caused my neck to crack as tears of relief filled mine and my wife's tired eyes..."BRING OUT AS MUCH FOOD AS POSSIBLE! ANIMALS, PLANTS, ANYTHING!"

The being lets out a breath of relief and a sigh right after, a smile etching itself upon his face as he puts his hands behind himself while the rushing guardsmen raid our stocks. My wife then turns towards the primal and asks a certain question which made me feel kind of guilty."Umm, sir? May we at least know the name of our savior?"

He beams at her."I am The Primal Lord Of Life in this area of the cosmos... mortals like you have given me the name..."

And then he continues after a pause clearly made for the drama."...Zeus."


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break..


Several minutes later... - Experimental Genetics Bio Zone 1 (EGBZ-1) - Zeus's Point Of View...


I reform myself back into my current laboratory, making sure to wave towards my favorite pet of all time."Hey, Caliope! Did anything go badly while I was gone?"

The massive, twenty story Emperor Scorpion looks down towards me as he waves with one of his claws and sends me a mental message saying nope. He can be so cute sometimes, I swear!"That's good."

Entering the equally gigantic building, I spot a rather hard working daughter of mine, spinning and sewing what seems to be an endless mass of life-fiber threads into her greatest work ever conceived. Each thread is consumed and constriced by BlackLight, eventually forming into what is called a Euphorian Thread.

Usually, I'd do this myself like I did for Louise, but it sure is faster when you have an actual pro working on it."Hello, Nui. Did you make any progress while I was gone?"

She beams at me."Yeah! I've managed to gather 3% more of the Euphorian Threads necessary for your suit, Papa!"

"So that makes 9% total, right? You've managed to do so much in just three days while it would've taken me ages... at this rate, we'll have all the material we'll need in about thirty days!" She smiles at me cheekily.

You see, ever since Ryuko brought Nui into the midst, I've been taking her consciousness away during the time which she sleeps upon Terra and making the poor girl start sewing my suit. Surprisingly, she seems kind of happy to be doing it."So how's life for you now that you've got a real family, kiddo? Are your sisters treating you well?"

Several nods at thrown my way."Hai! Ryuko and Satsu are both taking very good care of me... well, Satsuki kinda dotes on me more than Ryuko but I promised to love both of them equally!"

I let myself smile once more today before joining Nui in her work, using small talk as a distraction from the rather monotone job of constricting threads...

Hmmm, maybe I should bring Karin here to work with us?... Although, I don't think she'd quite like that.

Oh well, all the more reason to do it, hehe.


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break..


And that is it for chapter eight of The Euphorian Acumenae!

ZEUS FOUND ALIEN KITTIES. HE LIKES KITTIES SO HE HELPED THEM. WHY? BECAUSE I LIKE KITTIES TOO, YEY.

Not much else to say here, sorry if the chapter has a lot of grammatical mistakes, I'll fix them tomorrow... after a good night of sleep, that is...

One thing about this chapter that struck me as a constant is... so many dot dot dots...


Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!