Hey people! It's Corpsie here with yet another one-shot. I honestly have no idea how this idea came to me… but at the same time, I know exactly where it came from, you know? Because my writing stems from my mood, and a lot of the things mentioned in this fic in particular have been things that have affected my mood for a long time. So yeah.
I have to warn you, this is pretty damn depressing. If you do not like reading fics about death and suicide (and I did happen to mention that this is one of those fics in the summary) then please take your mouse, put your pointer onto the arrow facing the left in the top left hand corner, and click. If you do like reading death and suicide fics, then be my guest and read ahead. Also, please feel free to flame this story as much as you'd like, and I'll grab the marshmallows. ;)
DISCLAIMER: I, Corpselover1426, do not own Ninjago or any of its characters.
But That's Okay
Suicide. It's a funny word, really. People usually think of it as a crime, blasphemy, a sin. Oh, so-and-so committed suicide the other day. How sad…
Contrary to popular belief, suicide is not a crime. And it is most definitely not something you can commit. At least, it isn't to me. I stand firm on the belief that as human beings, we have choices. We get to choose what clothes we wear. The people we're friends with. The food we eat. The colors we like. Movies, books, shows, games – Our choices are practically endless. We also have the freewill to choose what we say, what we think, and what we believe in. And I believe this: We can, in fact, choose when our lives end.
It is something I think many people take advantage of – the ability to 'commit' suicide. I mean, it's your life right? You want to die? Go ahead. No one really has the right to stop you. If you're tired of living and want to end your life so badly, why should anyone try to make you think otherwise, or interfere with the actions you take to do so?
I know what the most likely response is: Suicide is horrible! How can anyone just want to die? What about their family? Their friends? Oh, the grief they'd inflict on them!
It is possible to just want to die. In fact, that's what I want right now. My family, my friends, they'd move on. Sure, they'd be sad for a while, but not forever. They would have to stop crying over a corpse sometime. And honestly, I'm not sure they'd really care in the first place. Quite frankly, I haven't been much use to them. They tell me how annoying I am every time I see them. They always are saying how I should shut my mouth, that I should stop trying so hard because I will never amount to hardworking or talented or useful. So what's to stop me from giving them what they want? Why shouldn't I just kill myself, since that'll make my 'family' truly happy? Really, it would be more of a relief to them if I just died rather than continue to be a burden.
So back to my point. Suicide isn't really a crime. Even if it was a crime, aren't you supposed to arrest criminals? Would you really, can you really, arrest a dead person? I don't think so. Especially if the person has good reason to kill himself. What's my reason, you ask?
I'm tired of having to deal with the pain of living in a world where everyone I know practically hates me. Call me selfish, call me weak, call me cowardly, but that will not change my mind, because I already know that I am all of those things, and more.
There isn't anything here in this world for me anymore, except pain and suffering. Life used to be fun for me, used to be a game, a game where I was always winning and on top. But not anymore. Now, life is just a long and tiring never ending cycle. It isn't exciting anymore, or stimulating, and there is no reason for me to be living it any longer.
So I won't.
And that is why I am where I am now – Standing on the ledge of the Bounty, the wind blowing sharply from behind me, blowing my hair into my face. All I need to do now is lean, and then I'll be falling, falling down to my death. Sure, it'll be scary, and sure, it'll be unpleasant (understatement of the year, but whatever), but in the end, it'll be worth it.
Because I'll be dead, and no one will be able to stop me.
So, I lean.
…and fall and fall and fall.
My laughter grows as the water becomes closer and closer, and I can't help but to think to myself that the Bounty is a lot higher up than I anticipated.
Then it happens: I hit the water.
My laughter comes to a stop, but my smile remains, even after the last of my air escapes my lungs, replaced by the saltwater that burns my throat on its way down. Ironically, my chest feels like it's on fire, even though I am submerged and filled with water.
Water inside me, water around me, water pulling me down deeper and deeper into itself, decreasing my chances of being found by the others.
But that's okay.
Everything will be okay, I tell myself, as the water turns to darkness, starting from the edges of my vision, blackening everything I see. Everything is fine now.
Because, even as my vision goes completely black and every single one of my limbs go numb, I know that this is how it's supposed to be. And it's liberating.
For the first time in my life (quite ironically, since it is the end of my life), I'm finally free.
My heart stops beating.
Well that was… different. I'm kind of self-conscious about posting this one, because a lot of the ideas voiced in it are my own. But that's okay XD
I didn't mention which ninja's point of view this is written in, and I won't, because I'm not completely sure either. That's up to you readers – completely open to interpretation, even though one or two ninja fit the profile better than the others.
Thanks for reading, and if you are up for it, please review!