Again
Hey there! This is a songfic I wrote a few months back based on Scott Alan's song of the same title. Hope you like it.
-NK1831
Part I
You look beautiful as always
Never fail to take my breath away
He's a lucky guy to have you
How'd I ever let you slip away?
Enjolras straightened his tie, gathering his courage. He raised his fist, pausing. If he didn't do this, then he'd spend the rest of his life regretting it. Taking a deep breath, he knocked, and the door was opened by his sister, Cosette.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, no doubt irritated by his unwelcome masculinity
"I'm here to see Eponine" he answered in a tone that implied finality.
Cosette crossed her arms over her chest "Nope. The bride's too busy getting ready" she then tried to close the door in his face but was unsuccessful for his foot blocked it. Their eyes warred for a few moments in silence before Enjolras spoke;
"Please…" The one word was all it too for Cosette to give in. Her brother's heartbreak, desperation and anxiety oozed from each sound. She stepped aside, letting him enter the somewhat disorganized room, stepping out herself and beckoning the other bridesmaids to follow suit.
Enjolras surveyed the room; there were a few bouquets on a small table, clothes, on the bed. And various containers of substances that could only be make-up. A full-length mirror was situated in one corner, and by the table beside it, her back turned to him was Éponine. His heart pounded in his ears as he took two silent steps towards her, clearing his throat.
She turned to face him.
In our completely perfect world
The two of you would not have met
You wouldn't look so radiant there
In your wedding dress
Enjolras sucked in a breath at the full sight of her. Éponine was truly a vision in her cream colored wedding dress. It contrasted her complexion perfectly, highlighting all the right places of her petite frame. He ached to know that she wore this not for him, but for another. Another who he knew deserved her more than he ever did or could ever wish to. But Enjolras would be damned if he didn't try to win her back one final time. He'd made a mistake all those years ago – perhaps the greatest mistake of his life. And he was determined to make it right.
Her gaze met his – chocolate brown orbs boring questioningly into him. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, and for the first time in his life, he could not speak; words seemed to fail the orator.
"Enjolras" she said just as the silence grew to surpass unbearable. "What are you doing here?"
"'Ponine, I… -" He did not know how to speak what he was feeling. How could he when the next words to be uttered could bring him the most heavenly happiness or back to a hellish existence.
"You should be at the church" she said cutting him off "with Marius" these words hit Enjolras like a slap and a brick to the chest combined. He staggered back a step from the nonexistent impact. Maybe he'd been wrong, maybe this was really how things were supposed to go. You lose and pay the most painful prices for your actions. Then again, he had nothing to lose now. And everything to gain.
But this is not a perfect world
And I know I should not be here
Just I have to say one thing
Before you disappear
Again
And with that realization, everything he felt clicked with the necessary words, and he began to speak as though the floodgates to his very soul had been opened.
"I was wrong all those years ago. To think that the Cause was the most important thing in the world? Hell, I hadn't realized that the most important part of my life was right in front of me. And here I was thinking that neglecting you – that neglecting us – was understandable" He met her gaze, begging from the bottom of his very soul. "No amount of apology will ever be enough to right my wrongs all those years ago, 'Ponine… even if I was given a second lifetime – it would never suffice" Enjolras sucked in a breath, knowing the size of the question within his next words. "I thought I'd never see you again after that night, and it plagued me – plagues me until today. All I wanted after was to finally see you happy, and I did. Seeing you with Marius – the way you looked at him – made me think about what had been. And…and I promised myself to let you be but-" He choked the lump forming in his throat. "But here's the thing, I just can't"
"What do you mean-"
I love you still
I've never stopped who knows if I will
I don't want to see us end
So here I am hoping you'll come home
To me
Again
"I love you" Enjolras said in barely a whisper. There. The three long-suppressed words finally said "I don't think I've ever stopped. Dammit, I don't think I ever will"
"Enj-"
"Give me a second chance, 'Ponine… please. Let me win you back" Finding that his legs could no longer support the situation, Enjolras sunk to the ground against a wall.
The silence stretched to unbearable heights as Enjolras watched a number of emotions dash across Éponine's features. He could almost see the night she left flashing before her eyes, followed by a fiery passion, clearly fuelled by hurt of one of the highest forms – neglect.
Please say something
Say anything at all
I can't handle the silence
Yes I know this is not the place or time
I can't bear that I may lose you
It was evidently a raging battle within the petite frame – one that Enjolras hoped against hopw was in his favor. The golden-haired man waited with bated breath for an answer. Yet again, the silence stretched the tension with each passing moment, before Éponine finally spoke.
"I don't know what I feel for you now, Enjolras. Maybe I still love you the way that you love me" 'maybe', thought Enjolras, there was hope yet.
If I could turn the hands of time
And have a chance to right my wrongs
Love you twice as much
Held you twice as strong
Flashes of a another time stirred at the back of his mind; of a café with tables constantly covered in books, of a certain young lady spilling hot coffee all over him, befriending her, falling for her and her for him... Enjolras remembered thinking that the fates were so good to him, but oh, how cruel the fates have turned toward him since then.
"But Marius" she continued "I know that I love him – that he wouldn't hurt me the way that you did." Enjolras could see the tears in Éponine's eyes, fiercely being fought back. "I'm sorry, Enjolras. But I can't give up stability for only a chance." Each word, each syllable cut like a knife. The obvious had now happened – he'd lost. Everything. He sunk to the ground, so lost in a series of overpowering emotions that his mind could register nothing. Not anyone who came or left the room, not Cosette crouching before him, trying to get even a single word out of her brother. Not Éponine looking at him with eyes filled with determination and regret before finally leaving for the wedding.
I should have never let you go
And I shouldn't have walked away believe
Now that we are here
There's one thing that I need to say
It could have been hours, or days even. Enjolras did not know how long he had been sitting there. He could only register being somewhat violently shaken before seeing a pair of green eyes boring into his blue ones.
"Combeferre…" he whispered "what are you doing here?"
His best friend remained silent, giving him a sympathetic, knowing look. Before he realized what was happening, Enjolras was being helped to his feet. "Come on." Said Combeferre "To the Musain"
"I need a drink"
"I'm sorry, but I think you should wait for Grantaire." The bespectacled man replied "But you could use some coffee. Or better yet, hot cocoa"
"No" said Enjolras "You should both be at the church, both of us should. We owe that much to Marius"
"Are you sure about this?" asked Combeferre
"I owe it to both of them"
Interesting, isn't it? If you want to know what happens next, review! I'll post the second half if enough of you show interest ;)
-NK1831