Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, but I wouldn't mind if Sam belonged to me. I am not a doctor, so please excuse any medical mistakes.

Raising A Winchester

Chapter 1

Sam popped two Tylenol tablets into his mouth and swallowed them down with a few gulps of water.

"You really should eat something, Sam," Dean told his younger brother as he rooted around in the refrigerator in his younger brother's kitchen.

Sam sighed heavily. "I – I don't even know if I could swallow anything." His insides twisted with nausea at the thought of food. Just a week ago, he had been happy and content with a loving wife and a baby on the way. Now he wondered if Amber had ever really loved him and he grieved for the son he doubted he would ever get to see.

"Just try, Sam," Dean told him, worry making his tone sharper than intended. "I'll make grilled cheese sandwiches and heat up tomato soup." He popped open the soup can and dumped the contents into a pot he retrieved from one of the cabinets.

Sam rubbed at his eyes blearily and squinted as the headache that had started the day Amber left pounded through his head. He dropped into a chair at the kitchen table and stared morosely at Dean as his brother stirred the soup while it warmed.

Sam's cell phone rang making him jump. He picked it up from the table in front of him and glanced at the caller ID. It's was Amber's mother. He swallowed back the bile that rose in the back of his throat at the thought of a confrontation with his mother-in-law and answered the phone. "Hello."

"Sam, this is Amber's mother, Doreen." Her tone was hesitant and even a bit frosty. "Amber asked me to call you. They are doing an emergency C-section. The baby's heart rate dropped. She wants you to meet her lawyer here to sign the custody papers."

"I'm not giving up my son without a fight," Sam growled into the phone.

Dean tensed and turned around at the angry, upset tone in his brother's voice. "Amber?" he mouthed with a frown.

Sam shook his head and concentrated on Doreen's words.

"No, Sam. Amber told me what you are, about the other side to you. This child is tainted. She doesn't want it, and as her mother, I am going to go along with what she wants. You need to get here and take custody of your son."

Sam nearly dropped the phone. The room spun around him momentarily. He heard Dean calling his name, but it sounded as if it was coming from a distance. He felt his brother's hand curl around his upper arm and then Dean gave him a solid shake. He blinked and spoke into the phone. "I'm on my way."

"What did she want?" Dean asked. He was worried about the dazed stupor his brother seemed to be in.

Sam swallowed hard. "Amber is giving me the baby, Dean. She says he's tainted."

Anger, red and hot, spread through Dean. "There's nothing wrong with him."

"I know; he will be perfect," Sam replied as he pushed to his feet a bit unsteadily. He blinked at Dean and continued speaking with disbelief in his tone. "I get to raise my son. I didn't think I'd ever even get to see what he looked like." Sam swayed a bit and Dean caught his arm.

"Woah, Sammy, you need to eat." Dean turned off the stove and scooped the grilled cheese out of the pan with a spatula. "Here, you can eat this on the way to the hospital. "You're gonna be a daddy any time now, so you need to build up your strength."

Sam barely remembered the ride to the hospital. Thankfully, Dean was driving. Sam ate the sandwich without really thinking about what he was doing. Instead, his thoughts were consumed with the fact that he would get to see his son and watch him grow. He would get to tuck the little one into bed each night and teach him to write his name and tie his shoes. He would get to be called "Daddy" and get hugs and kisses. There would be birthday parties and Christmas mornings around the tree and cookies for Santa.

Dean parked the Impala in the hospital's parking lot and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder, squeezing gently. "Can't believe my baby brother is going to be a daddy," Dean smirked.

Sam looked at him with fear blossoming in his gaze. "Dean, what if I can't do it? I don't know anything about kids. What if I mess up?"

"Dude, you're gonna be a great dad," Dean told him. "I know that our childhood was pretty unsettled, but you know what you want for your kid. You can make it happen."

Sam swallowed hard and then fixed his brother with a grateful look. "Dean, you practically raised me. You taught me what a good father should be; I can do this for my son."

Dean's green eyes widened and he swallowed hard. "No time for a chick flick moment now, Sammy Boy. I want to meet my nephew." He gave his brother's shoulder one last squeeze and then both men exited the car and made their way to the hospital's entrance.

Sam's heart was pounding and his palms were sweaty as he and Dean walked up to the information desk. "Um," he stammered to the woman dressed in light pink scrubs that sat behind the desk, "my wife was brought in for an emergency C-section."

"Name?" the woman asked.

"Amber Winchester," Sam replied as he wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans.

"Go up to the third floor – labor and delivery. There's a waiting room up there to your right when you exit the elevator."

"Thanks," Sam murmured distractedly as he and Dean headed to the elevators.

They rode up to the third floor in silence. Sam sucked in a deep breath as the doors slid open and they stepped out into the hallway. His hands were trembling and he felt jittery with nerves.

"Hang in there, Sammy," Dean encouraged him. "I've got your back."

They entered the small waiting room to find a man in a business suit sitting at the room's lone table with a briefcase in front of him. His curly red hair was impeccably groomed. "Mr. Winchester?" he asked as he stood.

"I'm Sam Winchester," Sam greeted stiffly.

"Yes, I'm Griffin Andrews, Mrs. Winchester's lawyer. I have custody paperwork here that signs the baby into your custody." The man opened the briefcase and pulled out some papers.

"Has my son been born?" Sam asked anxiously. He needed to be with his child, not talking to some stuffy lawyer.

"Not that I know of," Griffin answered. "Mrs. Winchester was just taken into surgery shortly before you arrived."

Sam nodded. "Show me where to sign." He took the papers the lawyer handed him and read them over. Dean looked over his shoulder and read along. Everything seemed in order, so Sam signed and Dean was their witness.

"Congratulations, Mr. Winchester," the lawyer told Sam. He stood and picked up his briefcase. "Best of luck to you and your son."

Once he was gone, Sam stared anxiously at his brother. "I'm really going to do this, Dean. I'm going to be a single father."

"But you won't be alone," Dean promised him. "Whatever you need or whatever the baby needs, I'll see that you get it."

A small smile curved Sam's lips. "I know, Dean, and thank you."

Amber's mother bustled into the doorway then. "The baby is here, but he is having trouble breathing. The nurse is going to come and take you to him."

Sam's eyes widened as panic thrummed through him. "Is he going to be all right? What's wrong with him?" And then he couldn't help asking, "How's Amber?"

Doreen huffed. "They'll tell you all about the baby, I'm sure. I really don't know any more other than that they took him straight to the NICU. Amber didn't even want to hold him or see him. She seemed afraid that he would look like a monster."

"My son isn't a monster," Sam bristled angrily.

"Mr. Winchester?" a nurse asked pleasantly from the doorway. "Come with me. I'd like to introduce you to your son."

"Is he all right?" Sam asked anxiously as he and Dean hurried to the nurse's side leaving Doreen behind.

"He's having a bit of trouble breathing on his own right now, so the doctor is checking him over."

"Will he be okay?" Sam asked, wishing the nurse would walk faster. He needed to be with his son.

"The doctor will be able to explain things to you once he examines your son and knows what is going on," the nurse explained kindly as she stopped at the entrance to the NICU. "Now, let me show you the procedures to follow before you enter."

Once he and Dean had washed their hands and suited up in yellow paper gowns, Sam followed the nurse into the NICU with his heart pounding loudly in his chest. His stomach burned with anxiety and he was trembling all over. His son was in here in one of these beds. The thought was unreal to him as he passed babies hooked up to wires and tubes, their little bodies unnaturally still. The worry on their parents' faces haunted him. He swallowed convulsively as the nurse stopped beside a bed where a doctor and a NICU nurse worked over a tiny red baby. The little boy's chest worked up and down as he labored to breathe.

"Is this him?" Sam choked out, his mouth as dry as cotton. "Is this my son?"

The nurse smiled and patted his arm. "This is your son, Mr. Winchester. They are just working to get his breathing stabilized and then you can visit with him."

"He's – he's so tiny," Sam breathed as he watched the infant struggle for each breath. Only pitiful, mewling cries emerged from the boy's mouth. He didn't have the breath to let out a squalling cry.

Sam jumped when his brother's hand landed on his upper arm and squeezed tightly. "Look at him, Sammy," Dean murmured. The baby's color was definitely beginning to look better and his cries were getting louder. "Look how he scrunches up his face. He's already got that bitch face down perfectly."

Sam just nodded, unable to speak as his son let out his first real cry and began to wave his tiny fists angrily.

"There we go, little one," the doctor encouraged as he swept his gaze back and forth between the baby and the monitors.

The nurse assisting with the infant looked up and smiled at Sam and Dean. "Are you his family?"

When Sam didn't answer, Dean stepped forward and slapped his baby brother on the back. "This is his dad. I'm his uncle."

The nurse nodded. "My name is Sandy. I will be one of your son's nurses back here in the NICU. Does he have a name?" she asked as she gazed up at Sam.

"Uh…yeah….," Sam replied, thinking of the list of names he and Amber had poured over night after night once they were relaxing in bed. Sam decided to go with the name he had liked best even though Amber hadn't thought much of it. "Nathaniel Dean Winchester," he told her with a hint of pride in his voice.

Sam heard his brother's quick intake of breath beside him and clapped an unsteady hand on Dean's shoulder. "You've been the one constant in my life, and you practically raised me. I want him to carry your name."

Dean swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "I'm honored, Sammy." That was as close to a chick flick moment as he'd allow himself to get.

Sam's gaze returned to his son. "When can I hold him?" Truth be told, he was terrified he'd hurt the tiny baby, but he longed to comfort little Nathaniel as the boy continued to cry.

"You won't be able to hold him until his oxygen levels are stable," Sandy explained gently, "but you can talk to him and touch him as soon as the doctor says it's all right. You can even take some pictures."

"I think it's fine for you to visit with him now," the middle-aged doctor with kind blue eyes told them. "Congratulations on your son. I'll let you sit with him for a bit and then I'll come and go over what you can expect over the next few days. I'm Doctor Jordan."

"Thank you, Doctor," Sam breathed as he stepped to his son's bedside anxiously, not even noticing as the nurse and the doctor left them alone. He could sense his brother's presence next to him. "He's so small, Dean," he whispered. "How am I ever going to keep him safe?"

Dean forced himself to give his brother encouragement even though he, too, was worried about the child's safety. "I'll help you, Sam. Nothing will get past the two of us."

Sam reached out tentatively and touched his son's amazingly small hand. Nathaniel's tiny fingers wrapped around Sam's fingertip. The new father's breath caught in his throat. He didn't realize that his brother was snapping pictures with his phone.

"Hey, Nathaniel, it's Daddy," he murmured as he studied the boy's light dusting of brown hair, his round cheeks, and Cupid's bow mouth. He chuckled as his son let out a lusty cry.

"That's Uncle Dean's boy," Dean announced quietly as he moved to the baby's other side and ran a tentative fingertip over the soft skin Nathaniel's arm.

A full grin erupted on Sam's face and his dimples flashed as he heard his brother's words. "It's just gonna be you, me, and Uncle Dean, Nathan," Sam tried out the nickname for the first time and decided he liked it, "but we're going to be just fine."

"Your daddy's right, kiddo," Dean promised the squalling infant. "We'll be the three musketeers."

Sam's voice was quiet and sad when he spoke again. "He's going to grow up without a mom, Dean, just like we did. Only our mom loved us, but Nathan's mom thinks he's a monster. What will I tell him when he asks about her?"

Dean sighed. "Sam, we have plenty of time to work that out. We'll come up with something. Just enjoy your son for now."

Sam stroked a tender hand over his son's head. "Daddy loves you, Nathan."

Sandy returned with a small sign for the baby's bed that read "Nathaniel Dean Winchester, 8 lbs 4 oz., 20 inches long." She attached it to the front of the bed. "There, now everyone will know who this little fella is." She smiled at Sam and then checked the baby's vitals. "Everything is looking good right now," she explained.

Spying Dean taking another picture of his nephew, Sandy reached for the phone. "You guys lean in close to Nathaniel, and I'll take your picture."

Both brothers eagerly complied with her demand.

"There," she stated happily. "That turned out great!" Sandy handed the phone back to Dean. "I see the doctor heading this way to talk to you. I'll be back to check on Nathaniel in just a bit."

Doctor Jordan took a look at the baby's monitors and then smiled. "Mr. Winchester, your son is holding his own. I'm pleased with the way his numbers are looking. We will monitor him a bit longer to make sure everything is stable, and then I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to hold him."

A grin split Sam's face. "Really?"

The doctor nodded with an answering smile. "He's doing quite well. He had a bit of fluid in his lungs, which was causing the breathing trouble. We will watch him carefully for infection, but right now he's doing fine."

Once the doctor left, Sam eagerly stroked his hand over his son's downy brown hair and studied the boy's face. "Who do you think he looks like?" he asked his older brother.

Dean leaned closer and his brow crinkled in thought as he gazed at the tiny boy's features. "His eyes are shaped like yours, Sam," he decided. "I think he has your mouth, too. His chin, though, that's all Amber along with his nose."

Nathan whimpered and Sam shushed him gently before glancing up at his brother. "Remember when you used to sing 'Hey Jude' to me when we were little and I couldn't sleep?"

Dean smiled and his green eyes grew sad. "Yeah, Mom used to sing it to me."

"Then it's only appropriate that it's the song we sing to Nathan as well," Sam told his brother as he began to hum softly to the restless infant.

Sandy returned after a while and checked the baby's vitals. They were still good, so she turned to Sam. "Ready to hold your son, Daddy?" she asked with a smile.

Sam suddenly looked nervous. "What if I hurt him or drop him? What if the wires get tangled?"

"Stop worrying, Samantha, and hold your son," Dean groaned as he prodded his brother in the side.

Nodding nervously, Sam settled into the rocking chair the nurse provided and nearly forgot to breathe as his tiny son was placed in his arms for the first time. He was so small in Sam's long arms, but he fit snugly up against his daddy's chest. The baby was sleeping, and only stirred slightly when he was placed in Sam's arms. Nathan's little lips worked as he slept, making Sam smile. "What are you dreaming about, buddy?" he asked quietly as he rocked the slumbering baby.

Dean chuckled as he snapped a picture. "With the way his lips are moving, my guess is supper."

Nathan's eyes blinked open and he squirmed in Sam's arms as opened his tiny mouth and let out a squawk. Sam nearly panicked. "What's wrong with him?"

"I bet he's hungry," Dean informed his little brother.

Sandy agreed. "Do you want to try feeding him?" She handed Sam a bottle and showed him how to position it.

Sam concentrated on holding the bottle in just the right position. It took Nathan a few tries, but he soon latched onto the nipple and sucked greedily. Sam grinned up at his brother. "He has your appetite, Dean."

It seemed as if Nathan had just started eating when it was time to burp him. Sam nearly panicked as Sandy helped him settle the baby on his shoulder. He patted the tiny back and chuckled when the eight pound baby let out a loud belch that seemed way too big for his small size. Then he looked up at his big brother. "Do you want to feed him the rest of his bottle?"

A smile curved Dean's lips. "Are you sure, Sam?"

"Of course," the younger Winchester answered. "Nathan loves his Uncle Dean already. He can't wait for you to hold him."

Sam stood up carefully and Dean took his place in the rocking chair. Sandy helped Sam transfer the baby into his brother's arms.

"Hey there, kiddo," Dean smiled as he settled his nephew in the curve of his arm. Nathan began to fuss until Dean manipulated the nipple between the boy's lips once again. "There you go; eat up for Uncle Dean."

Sam was the one taking pictures this time. He grinned proudly at his big brother.

"You did good, Sammy," Dean announced as he looked down at the infant in his arms. Nathan yawned and then screwed his face up and began to cry. Dean's nose suddenly wrinkled. "I think your son needs his diaper changed."

Sam's face paled. "Uh, I'm not sure I know how to do that."

Sandy laughed. "I'll give you a quick lesson. Come here."

She talked Sam through the process of cleaning up a dirty baby and disposing of the diaper. Then she frowned as she ran her hand over Nathan's skin. "He feels warm."

Worry unfurled in Sam's gut and he shared a look with his brother.

Sandy checked the baby's temperature and nodded. "He's running a slight fever. I'm going to ask Doctor Jordan to take a look at him."

Sam kept a gentle hand on his son's tummy as Dean stroked the boy's hair. "You're going to be okay, Nathan," Sam murmured to his son. "Daddy and Uncle Dean are right here. We'll take good care of you."

The brothers waited anxiously for the doctor to return, both of them wondering about the source of Nathan's fever. "What if it's something bad, Dean?" Sam worried out loud.

"Stop it, Sam. We don't even know if we need to worry yet," Dean pointed out. "Let's just wait until we talk to the doctor."

Sam nodded and kept his fingers stroking in a gently rhythm over his son's soft skin. Nathan had to be okay; Sam didn't know what he would do if something happened to his son. He loved the small boy more than he ever thought possible.

To Be Continued…

Author's Note: Please continue to keep Jared in your prayers.