Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, Sam, or Dean. Nathan is the only one that belongs to me.

Raising A Winchester

Chapter 3

Sam looked down at the tiny baby nestled in his arms as they slowly rocked back and forth in the hospital's rocking chair. Nathan yawned and blinked owlishly up at his daddy. A small smile curved Sam's mouth as he gazed down in loving awe at his son even as his heart broke at the thought of going home to a life without Amber.

Dean entered the room with Nathan's pale blue and gray diaper bag slung over his shoulder. He studied his brother's face and immediately knew what Sam was thinking about. "You're better off without her, Sammy, and so is Nathan if she's going to treat him like he's a freak."

"I know," Sam sighed heavily, "but just because she could stop loving me at the drop of a hat doesn't mean my feelings for her can just be cut off like that. I thought we were going to be a family, Dean. I thought Nathan was going to have a mom that loved him."

"Well," Dean countered, "he'll have a dad and an uncle that will move heaven and earth if necessary to make sure he's safe and happy. That's all he'll need."

Sam looked up from his son's face and met Dean's gaze. "You're right." Shifting the wrapped bundle in his arms, Sam stood. Nathan grunted and whined for a moment before settling once again.

"Are you guys ready to head out?" Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. "I'm still waiting to sign the paperwork."

A sound at the room's door made the brothers look up expecting to see the doctor. Instead, Amber's mother stood there with her eyes fixed on the infant held protectively in Sam's arms.

Sam wrapped Nathan closer to his chest while Dean practically bristled. "What are you doing here, Doreen?" Sam asked quietly, his voice nearly dangerous in tone.

The woman sighed and pushed her light brown, graying hair back from her face. "Sam, I have to support my daughter. I hope you can understand where I'm coming from."

Sam shook his head harshly. "I'll never understand. Nathan isn't a freak or a monster."

"Neither are you, Sam," Dean assured him firmly.

The younger Winchester ignored his brother and continued speaking. "What am I going to tell Nathan when he asks about his mother? How do I tell him that she was terrified of him? How do I tell him that she thinks he's a monster?"

Doreen stepped forward and stood on tiptoe as she attempted to get a peek at Nathan's face. "This is my only chance to see my grandson," she murmured quietly as if she hadn't been listening to Sam. "I have to see him for myself; I need to know…" she trailed off and swallowed hard, sadness and perhaps a bit of fear lurking in her eyes.

"Get out," Dean spat at her.

"Dean," Sam warned softly as he pulled Nathan away from his chest and held him so that Doreen could look into the boy's face. "Nathan isn't a monster," he told the woman passionately. "He's just a baby, a baby that's going to grow up without his mom just like my brother and I did. It was my fault then, and it's my fault now. Nathan doesn't deserve that."

"Sammy, no! You were just used as a pawn in someone else's game," Dean told his younger brother. "None of this is your fault. Amber chose to leave her son. You didn't force her hand on anything."

"Maybe if I had told her everything from the start," Sam sighed, "maybe Nathan wouldn't be in this situation now."

"Yeah, there would be no Nathan," Dean pointed out, already unable to imagine his life, their lives, without the infant in it.

"You named him Nathan," Doreen stated softly as she reached out a hesitant hand to touch the soft, fuzzy hair on the infant's head.

"His name is Nathaniel Dean Winchester," Sam told her proudly as he worked hard to shove his guilt to the side. There would be time to stew over that later. "His middle name is after my brother."

"Amber doesn't like the name Nathan," Doreen murmured, still stroking the baby's head.

"She doesn't get a choice," Sam told her without hesitation.

"I like it," the woman continued as if Sam hadn't said a word. "The name suits him."

Nathan scrunched up his face and began to mewl pitifully. Sam lifted the baby to his shoulder and patted the boy's back, but Nathan only cried louder.

"Someone's hungry," Sam announced. "Thank you for stopping by, Doreen." His tone suggested that the visit was over. He needed to tend to his son.

"Thank you for letting me see him," Doreen said softly. When there was no reply from either Sam or Dean, Doreen cast one last longing look at the baby and left the room.

"That woman has a lot of nerve," Dean sputtered as he reached for the baby. "Come see Uncle Dean while your daddy goes to find you a bottle." Dean held the baby protectively against him and began to rock back and forth on his feet. "You're gonna be a big eater just like your uncle, huh?" Dean murmured against the baby's temple. "None of that rabbit food crap your daddy eats for you, right buddy?"

Sam huffed a laugh and went to retrieve one of Nathan's bottles from the nurse. He returned moments later and reached for his son, but Dean turned away.

"It's my turn, Sam," he informed his younger brother. "You pack Nathan's bags. I'll take care of him."

Sam nodded and handed the bottle to his brother. He was so tired; the exhaustion seemed to reach down into his soul. It wasn't just physical exhaustion, but emotional as well. His entire life had been turned upside down over the past two weeks. He wanted to go to sleep and pretend everything was turning out just the way he had planned it. Sam had imagined looking down at a tired, but proud Amber holding their son. He had dreamed about the moment he and Amber would carry their baby into their home and snuggle him into the crib for the first time. But Amber had chosen not to share in any of this. Sam ached inside. It hurt too much to think of it, so instead he focused on packing Nathan's diaper bag.

Dean popped the nipple into the baby's mouth and watched as Nathan suckled greedily. "That's my boy," Dean beamed proudly. He knew he was never going to have any children of his own, so his brother's child would be as close as he'd ever get to having a son. Nathan's eyes stared up at him as his tiny fist batted the air. Dean felt his lips curve upward in a smile. "That's it; eat up, little man."

Sam packed the baby's few belongings into the diaper bag and zipped it up. The nurse came in the door with papers and a pen in her hand. "I've got all of Nathan's paperwork here. I'll get you to sign it and then I'll answer any questions you have before you take him home."

Sam nodded and signed his name quickly on the line at the bottom of the paper before returning it to the nurse. He grinned when he heard Nathan give a large belch behind him as Dean patted the baby on the back.

Once Nathan had finished eating, Dean buckled the baby into his carrier and tucked a blanket around him. "You ready, Sammy?" he asked.

Sam nodded and handed his brother the diaper bag before gripping the handle of the carrier. "Let's get you home, Nathan."

The baby's eyes drifted shut in slumber. He didn't seem to be too excited about leaving the hospital.

They took the elevator downstairs and walked across the parking lot to where Dean had parked the Impala. With trembling fingers, Sam secured Nathan's carrier into its base in the backseat and walked around to the other side so that he could sit beside his son. Dean plopped the diaper bag on the front passenger seat and then climbed into the driver's seat.

"You ready?" he asked as he glanced in the rearview mirror.

Sam nodded and glanced at his sleeping son as Dean pulled out of the hospital's parking lot. It didn't take them long to get home. Sam swallowed hard when Dean parked the Impala in the driveway. It still seemed unreal to come back to a house without Amber.

"You've got this, Sam," Dean said quietly as he exited the car and slung the diaper bag over his shoulder once again.

Sam nodded, but didn't respond. Instead, he unhooked his son's carrier from its base and carried him toward the house. Once inside, he set the carrier on the floor beside the recliner and studied his sleeping son.

Nathan's fist was curled against his pudgy cheek and he sighed in his sleep.

"Should I put him in his crib?" Sam asked thoughtfully.

Dean frowned. "You might wake him up. Maybe it's okay if he sleeps in there just this once."

Sam shrugged and stretched out on the sofa next to Nathan's carrier, exhaustion sapping the last of his strength. Dean, instead of heading into the bedroom, flopped onto the floor after snatching the remote from the coffee table. He turned on the television and found an old movie on a science fiction channel. Both brothers soon joined the baby in slumber.

Sam woke sometime later. The movie Dean had been watching had ended and another one had started. Nathan was squirming in his carrier and making mewling sounds. Sam rubbed at his eyes and rolled off of the couch to kneel before his son. "Sorry, buddy," he yawned as he unbuckled his son and lifted him against his chest. "Oh, hey," Sam wrinkled his nose. "Nathan, you stink!"

The baby only yawned and pursed his rosebud lips.

Casting his gaze around, Sam stood and snatched a folded towel off of the pile Dean had left on the kitchen table. He carried it back into the living room and stretched it out on the floor before placing his son on it. The smell of soiled diaper assaulted his nostrils. Swallowing hard, he removed the dirty clothing and grimaced at the sight of the diaper. Holding his breath, he removed the offending Pamper and rolled it up, nearly gagging. He grasped some wipes and began cleaning up his son.

Dean continued to sleep on the floor nearby, one arm flung over his eyes to block out the light.

Sam finished wiping up Nathan and reached or a fresh diaper just as a steam of urine erupted from his son. "Woah!" Sam sputtered, leaning back out of the spray.

Dean wasn't so lucky. It dripped down his arm and into his hair. "Close the window in the Impala, Sammy. It's raining in here."

Sam couldn't help the laughter that bubbled forth. "Dean, it's not raining and you're not in the Impala."

"Huh?" Dean asked as he came to full wakefulness and removed his arm from his face. It finally dawned on him where the liquid was coming from and he jolted to a sitting position. "Sam, that's gross! You just sat there and let your son pee all over me!"

"Hey, it's not like he's potty-trained, Dean," Sam chuckled as he finished wiping up his son and wrangled Nathan into a fresh diaper.

Dean cursed under his breath. "I think it got in my eye," he fussed as he headed upstairs to take a shower, the sound of Sam's laughter following him.

Sam disposed of the mess, washed his hands, and lifted his son up into his arms. "Good job, buddy," he told Nathan. "Gotta keep Uncle Dean on his toes."

Nathan shoved his fist into his mouth and sucked it hungrily.

"I bet you're hungry," Sam told the infant as he cradled him against his chest and carried him into the kitchen.

Nathan was just finishing up a bottle when Dean reappeared downstairs, his hair still damp from a shower. "I still can't believe you let your son pee on me. What kind of a father are you?" he grouched as he started a pot of coffee.

Sam just shook his head and settled Nathan against his arm for a burp. After only two pats on his back, the baby belched loudly.

Dean grinned. "Oh, yeah, Nathan. Already taking after good ol' Uncle Dean."

Sam just shook his head ruefully and huffed a small laugh.

Nathan was soon asleep again, so Dean kept an eye on the baby while Sam took a shower. The infant slept through supper, but woke when it was time for bed.

"I think we need to work on his sleep schedule, Sam," Dean groaned as his younger brother paced the floor with a crying baby held against his shoulder.

Sam was too frazzled to answer. He'd fed his son, changed his diaper, rocked him, and sang to him. Nothing was placating the upset infant. The baby kept drawing his little legs up to his tummy and howled until his face turned blood red.

"Maybe his stomach hurts," Sam decided as he settled in the rocking chair with his baby and rubbed a gentle hand over the boy's tummy. Nathan only cried louder.

"Maybe," Dean answered thoughtfully.

"Oh," Sam answered a moment later, a frown creasing his brow.

"What does that mean?" his older brother asked in confusion.

"Um, I think he just pooped," Sam replied as the baby quieted slightly.

"Well, you go change him. I'm going to bed before you let him pee on me again." Sucking in a deep breath so as not to smell anything questionable, Dean leaned over and rubbed a gentle hand over the baby's head. "Goodnight, kiddo. Aim for your daddy this time."

Sam scowled at Dean's back, but promptly changed his son's diaper. Nathan seemed more comfortable afterwards, but still protested every time Sam placed him in his crib.

It was several hours later before the tiny baby let either his father or his uncle get some sleep. Sam had no idea how he was going to survive the next few months until Nathan was ready to sleep through the night.

To be continued…

Author's Note: From here on out, this will be a series of one-shots featuring Sam, Dean, and baby Nathan. Thanks so much for reading!