(Nya's POV)

I sit in bed, the red sheets pulled over my legs. My phone is on my lap. The person I'm texting is Jay. I'm not allowed to TALK to him, but what about TEXTING him?

Samurai X: Hey

Jay¥: Hey

Samurai X: How are you

It starts to load, then he texts me back.

Jay¥: How am I...? I'm

emotionally drained. I

could kill myself right now

without a second thought.

I'm so done with

everything. But you don't

really wanna hear that, so

I'll go with fine.

My lips part in surprise. Is this what they meant? I sit, thinking for a moment, before my fingers start to tap the screen.

Samurai X: Everything is going to be alright. Maybe not today but eventually.

The loading bar appears.

Jay¥: Don't you dare tell me I'm beautiful

Until you've seen my scars

That carve my body

And the blood

That pours out of my soul

Don't you dare tell me I'm lovely

Until I completely shut you out

Because I swore to myself

Your just like the rest

And you'll get sick of me

Don't you dare tell me I'm flawless

Until you've seen me break down in tears

I'll show yup the darkness

That consumes me

And you'll run away

But if you

Have seen my scars


And darkness

Then perhaps I believe you

She frowns, the corner of her lips tugging down. What happened to my boyfriend? I start to tap the screen again, hoping for a better response.

Samurai X: Try. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to try.

Jay¥: I just wanna sleep forever

Samurai X: I don't really see the difference between saying that and saying "I wanna die"

Jay¥: Because there's not

This is not my boyfriend. This is not Jay.

Samurai X: Who you are is want makes you special. Don't let anyone change that.

What lies ahead will always be a mystery. Don't be afraid to explore.

When life pushes you over, you push back harder.

Where there are choices to make, make the ones you wont regret

Why things happen will never be certain. Take it in stride and move forward.

Jay¥: Do you ever feel numb

It's that feeling when your whole world

Seems to fall apart right in front of you

And there's nothing you can do about it

It's that feeling when you're all choked up

And the words Just won't seem to come out

The tears are stuck, and they strangle you

And all you feel is sole numbness

It's that feeling when you're indecisive

Do you not care anymore?

Or are you Just really tired?

Or is this Just a phase that will pass?

It's that feeling when you're exhausted




And you wish to close your eyes

And never open them,

Ever again.

Samurai X: H.O.P.E.

Hold On, Pain Ends

Jay¥: me

I h8 you,

gg tho.

ttyl or more like




(Jay's POV)

I shut down my phone and put it on my nightstand. Moonlight shines down onto the floor, creating a patch of moonlight. I walk over to my dark blue curtains and close them. I don't like light.

I sit on the end of my bed, watching the clock above the bathroom door.





It's driving me crazy. He gets up and walks into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I take the pill case out of my pocket and gulp the whole thing down. He stares at his reflection.



The sound of breaking glass rings through the room. He stands, bleeding fist in front of him, mirror shattered. Blood drips off his fist and onto the tiled floor. I walk out, not bothering to pick it up.

He lays down in bed. He thinks of the others, yelling at him earlier. They hated him.

My arms are wet and sticky and my eyes feel heavy and dull.

Darkness is around me, and now I can't feel nothing at all.

I can hear myself breathing and now I'm slowly falling asleep.

I've fallen in the abyss, and now I'm nearly six foot deep...

I drift off to sleep.

(Don't worry he's not dead.)

(Jay's POV)

I can feel her.

Slowly, I wake up. I can feel her presence.

"Hello, little Suicide boy."

I stay silent and swing my legs over the bed side, staring at the wall.

"Is it possible to have no emotion?

Being so far gone in being numb that I can't the simplest thing about.

I can't think, that's too hard

I can't talk too confusing

Writing a challenge I hate

I feel hollow, an empty shell

I'm here but not entirely

I'm numb

Is it possible to have no emotion?

If so, I have no emotion

No sadness

No joy

I've checked out

I'm here but not entirely."

She slips a glass of some amber liquid into my hands. I gulp it down gratefully. The only things I've had were pills. The liquid burns my throat, but I drink every last gulp. I then throw the empty glass on the ground. It shatters.

He lays down on his bed, looking at the ceiling. Her presence is right next to him.

"Now. Take off your shirt, and I'll make art with a blade."

He sits up, and does so obediently. He feels...numb. I toss the dark blue tee shirt with white lightning designs to the side. He hears the slice of a blade being drawn, and then feels a searing pain on his back. But he does nothing. Just...empty numbness. He couldn't feel.

She starts to talk as she works.

"A broken mirror,

A bleeding fist,

A silver blade against the wrist,

Tears falling down to lips un kissed,

Ignore him and he wont exist,

He's not the kind you'll come to miss."

"Turn around."

He shifts his position without a word. He is numb. He cannot feel anything. Just nothingness.

She is still not visible, but he can feel her presence. And see the stele floating through the air, drawing on his marked skin. She starts to talk again.

"Talk to me. Tell me something, Suicide boy."

I'm silent for a moment as the burning increases painfully. Then I open my mouth and talk.

"In the bathroom.

palms sweating, heart racing.

in the mirror.

eyes screaming, hard breathing.

as my emotions overwhelm me;

crashing down like a thousand seas.

my reasons to live diminish.

'what the fuck is it gonna take for you to understand?'

'where is your control Jay?'

'your life is disappointing beyond words.'

words from the people I love.

i try, i'm trying.

i lie, i'm lying.

but i tried, i promise.

no i lied, i'm sorry.

one more time i'll cry,

because i no longer have the strength to get by.

it's a fucking pain to be a pain..

so why not end it all?

blade in hand, wrist in sight.

my only wish is to end my plight.

so selfish, so selfish.

think about those who care for you.

i don't give a fuck.

i swear for this is what they wish.

sitting in my blood with my demons..

fully aware that they have won.

could've swore i heard them say to Satan..

'this time we have him, it's nearly done.'

losing consciousness, i smile..

on my way to hell.

hey, i'll see you in a while.

you know it,

i can tell."

I then lay down, not caring whether or not she was done. My head hits the pillow. I feel her presence move to the window as I lay, motionless, numb. I cant feel.

"The girl is walking down a path

with shadows of death above

covering the light that

she never seems to see

Her life is black

along with her heart

She learns to live with the black

She seems to know nothing else

She walks down that path

with signs of death above

Happiness in her mind

is a joke so she frowns

She thinks about death

the thought of suicide is fun

Silting her wrists

and shooting that gun

I never loved

I never saw the light

I never was happy

I am such a fright

Nobody will cry

So tonight Im going to shot this gun under my chin and say one last goodbye

These were her last words

she wrote to everyone that

has walking in and out of her life

She took that gun

her hands so still

and said a final goodbye

and went for the kill

She shot a bullet

right up her head

as that girl

falls down on the ground

Her twin finds the body

and the note that lye with

she reads the note as

she cries to herself

She says to her died sister

"Im not a twin without you

so the other should die too"

So she took a knife

and slit her wrists

till the life of the other girl

could no longer exist."

I don't exist.

"Until we meet again. I hope you improve."

I am emotionless.

"Goodbye, Suicide boy."

I am nothing.


Lol XD