Finally, with a lot of tugging and pushing and shoving, (and a bit of smiting) Sam got Cas unstuck from the covered slide. "My wing!" Cas howled when he reached the bottom of the slide. "Sam! Ow! Kiss it, Sammy. Kiss it!"
The distraught angel looked ready to unfurl his pinions but before he could, he—and Sam, who was about to tackle him before he revealed his angelic nature and wiped out half a dozen small children with a single flap—were distracted by Dean's frantic scream. "Dammy! Dam! Dammy!"
Sam spun in a panic to see his brother holding his arms over his head, warding off the little girl Annie had pointed out as her own. The tiny, beribboned and pigtailed blonde—no bigger than a baby goat—stood over Dean with her foam light saber.
"I no wike you!" she said in a menacingly squeaky voice, and beat Dean over the head with the toy sword. "You is a poop head!"
"Ass!" Dean whimpered, curling into a toddler-sized ball. "Dat girl is a bad thing!"
"Well, that's different," Sam said.
"Dean is under attack," Cas growled, rising from his perch at the end of the slide, his eyes snapping fire and his boo boo apparently forgotten. "Hang on, Dean! I will save you!" The angel leapt into action.
"Holy shit," Sam muttered, and raced after the former Warrior of the Lord before he mowed down the tot in cold blood. Somewhere, from the other side of the playground, he heard Annie call, "Amelia Jayne! You stop that right now!" but he was fairly sure that Cas wouldn't pay attention to the fact that Dean was, in fact, quite safe. "Cas!" he yelled. "Wait!"
Sam tackled Cas, knocking him to the ground. Together, they rolled on the black, rubberized mat.
"Let me go!" Cas struggled. "I must save Dean!"
"You…must…knock…it…off!" Sam straddled the angel, who rose to his knees in an attempt to reach his favorite Winchester. "Cas! Stop!"
"Sam!" Cas yelped. "Let me—I have to—"
"No, Cas!" Sam responded, wrapping his hands around the angel's hips. "I need you to hold still!"
"Yes! I must—let me—"
"Please, Sam. Please!"
It was one of those times that Sam wouldn't forget, no matter how long he lived or how hard he tried not to remember, and it was probably one of those times that none of the Mommies—or the Daddies—of Sioux Falls' Parents Reach Out Group—wouldn't forget either. Because the entire tot park had fallen silent, and everyone was staring at them.
Even the tots.
"Um…" Sam looked for something—anything—to say, but his mind had gone blank of anything even remotely appropriate to say when discovered accidentally apparently dry-humping Dean's "other daddy" in the middle of the playground. So he got to his feet, leaving Cas on all fours. "I—um…uh…"
"Well. Only a little awkward." Annie approached then, holding Dean on her hip. Amelia followed along, dragging the tip of her foam light saber on the ground behind her. She was scowling at Sam's brother.
Dean glared back at her as only Sam's brother could glare. Then he looked at Annie, smiled with his usual 1,000 watt smile and patted her cheek. "Nice wady."
Annie, of course, melted; even baby-Dean could manipulate a woman. He tossed Annie a snarky grin, and swiped a slimy Dean-kiss over Annie's cheek. "Wuv oo, nice wady."
"Dat's Mela's Mommy!" The tiny blonde shrieked, raising herself up to full height (which was, ultimately, mid-thigh to a full grown Winchester). She also raised her sword.
"Sam! Look out!" Cas jumped to his feet. "Protect Dean!"
"Cas!" Sam and Annie both warned, but it was too late—Cas flung himself in front of his charge as Amelia welded her sword with a warrior's aim, and then Cas lay on the ground, his hands clutching his vessel's 'nads.
A stern and vengeful-expressioned Amelia glowered down at him and waved her light saber. "Poop head," she growled.
"Seems like it's time for someone to take a nap," Annie observed calmly, and handed Dean over to Sam. "Cas, are you okay?"
"I'm—I'm—my vessel is…" Cas gasped. "Ow."
"He's fine," Sam said sadly.
"Excuse me." Snake Lady slithered up to them. She stepped over Cas and narrowed her eyes at Sam. "I believe it would be best if you left. The Sioux Falls Reach Out Parents' Group isn't ready for your kind. We are a group with high moral standards!"
Annie snorted and fixed Amy with an amused stare. "Really." Then she turned to Sam and tugged Dean back into her arms. "Come on, Sam. You help Cas—I'll walk Amelia and Dean out to the parking lot." She set the little boy down next to her daughter. "Come on, guys. Hold hands. Let's go. Ready? We'll sing about it. Everybody, bunny hop!"
Sam was about to say that he didn't think the pair would do anything together peacefully, but the two toddlers linked fingers and happily hopped down the sidewalk behind Annie. So he shrugged and leaned over the angel. "Cas? Are you all right?"
"I have a boo boo," Cas moaned, but he reached up toward Sam; Sam pulled the Warrior to his feet. Cas leaned into him gratefully. Together, they followed Annie and the children out of the tot park.