Okay this is my another crossover and I decided to try something easy at first so here it goes. I may be borrowing a line from Hibari Kyoya!
Warning: Sarcastic Harry, there now no complaining because i did warn you!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the movie Madagascar.
Harry had left the wizarding world after the final battle at Hogwarts, many of the wizards hailed him as a savior when Harry kept commenting that he wouldn't have been able to win the war without the help of his friends. The reporters hounded him outside his house, taking pictures of everything he did or said and when the anniversary of the final battle came they ignored what Harry was saying and instead inquired of when he was planning to settle down, what robes he was wearing and if he would be attending the upcoming gala and if he was bringing a date. Harry tired of the constant hounding was planning to leave for a couple of years so after reworking on the laws of the ministry to make it better for creatures he made his plans and had set everything up and should anything happen to him, he made Teddy his heir with the help of the goblins. On the day he was planning to leave he also had an owl set up to leave with the letters to his friends after he left and headed on his way.
Harry took a portkey made from the goblins to land somewhere in the forests of america where they wouldn't think of finding him. Harry enjoyed his stay in the transforming into his animagus form. When Harry was training to find his animagus form in secert as a way to honor his father, Sirius and Remus was suprising. His animals was a pure white panther, considering Harry thought he would be some type of bird with his love of flying.
On one of his days of laying on his sun rock, he heard a rustling in the bushes, must be a rabbit, was what he thought before he felt a pain in his flank. Great, was all he thought before he lost conscious.
The next time he woke up was in a small forest or what could pass as a forest before he noticed the glass walls surrounding him and the people gawking at him. What the heck? Where am I? "Welcome to the Central Park Zoo! We now showcase our new animal, a rare white panther!" Seriously! I get caught to become a showpony for these mudmonkeys?! Not thinking of the fact that he was once one of the so called mud monkeys. Once the zoo closed Harry was relaxing in the shade after the stressful day.
"Hey you must be the new recruit!" Harry turned to see that a zebra was talking to him and standing on two legs. Well I have seen weirder. Harry tries the same thing and relized that it was easier than he thought.
"What do you want herbivore?" The zebra looked confused, "Herbivore? Whatever, any way we just wanted to welcome you to the zoo, this is Gloria" pointing to the hippo, "Melman" at the giraffe that had some type of cone around his neck "and Alex" lastly to the lion well the well-kept mane without a single hair out of place. Yikes, what does he do, put conditioner on?
He noticed Alex had wondered of to a corner of his cage chewing on a steak. Harry pointed at Alex, "What's the matter with him?" Marty turned to look, "Oh, don't worry about him he's just worried that you'll take his spotlight" Harry snorted, "Really is that it? he can keep it, I don't want the attention of those mudmonkeys" Alex jumped up from his spot and pointed at Harry. "How could you just disregard the loving attention they give you?"
"Because they could easily turn on you at the drop of a hat when it suits their needs" Harry growled out speaking of his experience of the wizarding world. "So you can keep all your little fans to yourself princess" Alex spluttered and turned red at the princess comment. The rest of the gang tried to smother their snickers apparently not working so well because Alex turned on them.
As time passed he got used to being at the zoo though at times he did miss the thrill of a good chase and running around in the wild. He heard Alex waking up the others on what Harry remembered as Marty's birthday. "Oy! Princess! You mind keeping it down, some of us are trying to sleep" then turned to Marty, "Happy tenth birthday herbivore." Marty, Gloria and Melman gave up on trying to get Harry to call them by their names while Alex still yelled at Harry for calling him a princess.
"Thanks Harry," Harry then proceeded to sleep the whole day away, at least that was the plan until he heard the other animals freaking out about Marty's disappearance. Then he actually heard them talking about following him out in the open?!
"You dang herbivores, that's just asking for you to be locked up!" but they didn't listen as they were already out the gates and Harry resignedly followed them before they got hurt.
He followed them all the way to the station but they seemed to goofing around and running like headless chickens trying to find Marty. He saw all the people running away from them. Freaking herbivores. He saw Melman coming out from the men's restroom, "Hey guys! That room has those nifty sinks you can wash in and look! Free mints!"
Harry made a disgusted noise realizing what were on his tongue and that he probably didn't wash in an actual sink. "You freaking herbivore! Those aren't mints" grabbing the so called mints and throwing them in the trash, "Those are what they put in toilets where the mudmonkeys relive themselves!" Melman tried to wipe his tongue off when he learned what they were while Gloria and Alex were making gagging noises.
Alex then yelled "Forget that! This is an urgent mission to save Marty from throwing his life away! Now where's the train?!" I would have done the same thing sooner or later, it does get pretty boring.
They stuck their heads onto the tracks, when Harry heard the train coming and pulled them out of the way before they ended up splattered all over the station walls. "What's the matter with you guys?! Do you wanna freaking die?! You don't know these places as well as I do so follow my lead I can smell where he is" he yelled as they got on the right train.
Soon they had quickly caught up to where Marty was and Harry saw the people running out as the police ran in. When Alex and Marty stopped arguing when they saw the police surrounding them. Harry saw an old lady walk up to Alex before she kicked him in the legs. That lady has some balls, as he tried not to laugh at Alex's pain.
Alex tried to explain the situation to the cops again after he recovered from that kick, and saw that they pushed an animal control guy into the circle. That guy looks like he's about to pee his pants. Harry yelled out to Alex, "Hey idiot! You ever think that they can't understand you?!"
Alex turned to Harry and hissed, "Shut up! I'm trying to get them to let us go back home," Harry saw animal control dude aim the gun at Alex and pushed him out of the way as he fired.
"Ow! Dang tranquilizers hurt!" Harry yelled as he pulled it out but the drug had already made it into his bloodstream. Harry fell to the ground since the drug made his legs weak and was trying to keep from passing out.
"HARRY!" They all yelled out, as they started to freak out. "Calm down you freaking herbivores. Its just a sleep sedate, so I'll live" was all he got to say before he succumbed to the drug.
The next thing Harry knew was he woke up with a pounding headache, "Ugh, anyone get the hippogriff that hit me."
"Harry!" he heard Alex and Marty yell. Alex asked, "Are you alright?"
"Does it freaking sound like I'm alright princess?"
"Yup, he's fine" Marty said. Harry heard Gloria wake up then Melman as Alex explained to him that no, he wasn't getting a catscan but that it was a zoo transfer. "Zoo transfer?! No, I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with at 5:00. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care, I am NOT going HMO!"
Marty answered, "Take it easy Melman. We are going to be o-kiz-ay! Alex yelled out,"No Marty, we're not gonna be o-kiz-ay. Now, because of you, we're ruined!
Marty put in, "Excuse me, I fail to see how this is my fault." Gloria but in here, "You're kidding, right Marty." Harry heard that also, "Did you seriously think that the herbivores and princess over here would let you go by yourself?" Marty thought about that but Alex continued yelling, "You ticked off the people! You bit the hand! 'I don't know who I am! I don't know who I am? I gotta go find myself in the WILD!"
Marty and Alex kept on fighting which led to Alex banging his crate against Marty's causing the rest of them to vibrate. He then felt the boat turn sharply and heard something creak. "Oy! Princess stop doing that before something hap-" it was too late as the crates toppled into the water.
Ugh, why do those herbivores never listen? He noticed Alex was drifting away from the rest of them, "ALEX!" he joined in for the yells of Alex. Let's hope that we all meet up again soon.
Harry saw Alex, Gloria and Melman reuniting on the beach, he and Marty had drifted together when they managed to escape their crates. They also managed to hitch a ride from the dolphins. He heard Marty yell out in joy, Harry did the same thing as it had a similar feel to flying only on water. The rest of the gang stared at Harry surfing the waves on the back of the dolphins. His white coat glistened with the water droplets and his green eyes sparkled in joy.
Once Harry and Marty got off, Harry paid the dolphins with a pair of fish he caught since Marty didn't have anything on him. He saw Marty and Alex run toward each other like in those cliche movies, then for Alex to remember that he was mad at Marty for getting them into this mess. "Oh sugar honey iced tea!" Marty yelled out.
Harry chuckled, heh heh I get it. Then noticed sounds coming from the jungle, apparently Alex heard it to. They headed in and found lemurs partying. While they were discussing to ask them where the people were. Foolish herbivores, really this is the San Diego zoo, they must be more oblivious than I thought. Soon screaming was heard. "It's the foosa!"
What the heck are the foosa? The gang was trying to ask the foosa if there were any people here while Harry was distracted by the salad they were mixing with a lemur for the entre. Maybe they won't mind sharing?
Harry saw a giant spider crawling on Alex's back and Gloria picking up a stick to kill it. "Spider! Spider on my back!" as Gloria missed and hit Alex instead. Ouch, that looks like it hurts. "Get it! Get it!" he saw that it was the spider yelling that out. "You know that it was you they were trying to get right?"
"Oh, oh well, bye!" Harry then heard whispering in the bushes, before the same lemur that was in the salad was pushed out. Alex tried to greet the baby lemur. "Hi theeerrrrreeee!" That just caused the baby lemur to scream. You sure have a way with kids don't you Alex. He watched Gloria coo over the baby lemur, "Aw, aren't you just the sweetest little thing? I just wanna dunk you in my coffee."
Harry put in, "Yeah except for me, he would be in my sandwich smothered in hot sauce." They all stared at Harry horrified, "What? I am a carnivore." Then he saw a black and white lemur come out followed by a short black lemur. "Welcome giant pansies! Please feel free to bask in my glow!" Wow, egotistical much? And who is he calling pansies? Must be the herbivores.
The so called king continued his speech, "We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the foosa," Did they mean those little kittys from earlier? "The foosa. They are always annoying us by tresspassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping off our limbs-" "Yeah. Sounds great." Alex butted in.
The gang put their heads together, "Alright enough is enough! I say we just ask these bozos where the people are!" They still think this is a zoo?
King Julian responded to the comment, "Excuse me, we bozos have the people of course!"
"You do? That's good to know." Alex said. Merman turned to Harry, "Hey the bozos have the people!"
King Julian pointed up a tree, "They're up there." Oh look at the pretty skeletons. Alex asked, "Oh, so do you have any… LIVE people?"
Julian looked a little confused at that question, "Uh, no, only dead ones. Not a very lively bunch." I wonder why. Maurice, the black lemur answered, "Man, if we had a lot of live people, it wouldn't be called the WILD, wouldn't it?"
"The wild?!" they all yelled out. They all turned to Harry, "Why aren't you more surprised?!" Alex yelled out. "Because I can actually tell the wild from a zoo, I mean really, San Diego zoo," Harry muttered to himself.
Alex ran to the beaches while Harry just followed calmly behind them, "Hey you! The white giant!" Harry turned around to face King Julian. "You must tell me, how did you get your fur so nice and silky, and that color, Maurice take notes!"
Harry thought for a moment, "Uh I was born this way for my fur color, and I guess…clean regularly?" "Maurice, did you get that? Mort start my bath!" Harry just watched confused.
Weird lemurs. By the time Harry made it to the beach, he saw Melman in what looked like a makeshift grave and a line in the sand dividing Marty on one side and Alex, Melman, and Gloria on the other side.
Alex was yelling, "This is the fun side! This is where we are gonna have a great time surviving until we get home! Your side stinks! You're on the jersey side of the cesspool!"
Harry walked to Marty, "Is he still on about that?" Marty startled, "Harry! Yeah, anyway want to join my 'wild' side of the island?" "Sure why not, at least you are doing something to survive here."
Alex noticed Harry on Marty's side, "Harry?! Fine, I get it, join his side! We don't need you!" As he and Marty built their own little side of paradise, he saw Alex had built a sort of replica of the statue of liberty and arguing about the fire. Idiots, they'll never last long in the wild.
Just as Harry said that the whole statue burst into flames, Looks like I was right. "Hey Marty, I'll be right back," "Hm? Oh sure" Harry then raced into the jungle to hunt something to eat. Maybe I should get something for princess as well, nah I'm sure he'll be fine and he can get something himself, he isn't a cub anymore. Tough love is what they call it.
When Harry got back he saw Gloria, Melman, and Alex had joined the club. "Finally cracked huh, princess," Alex flushed in embarrassment. Harry then saw that Alex was chewing on cooked seaweed, Harry snickered, Alex looked at Harry in confusion and Harry pointed at the seaweed in his hand, Alex threw it away and didn't look at Harry.
Harry smirked, then he noticed that Alex had seaweed bits on his teeth, that really done it for Harry it had started as small chuckles and escalated to full blown laughter. The gang stared at Harry, it being the first time they had actually heard him laugh and enjoyed the sound and that's when they noticed what Harry was laughing at and joined in. Alex just watched confused till Marty gave him a cup of seawater to look at his reflection in.
Soon after they went to sleep, only to wake up seeing Alex licking Marty. They all went back to sleep when Alex said he was just counting the stripes on Marty. Harry narrowed his eyes at Alex but Alex just waved him off. If the herbivores actually buy that they're gonna be in for a big surprise when he snaps.
The next morning they all woke up abruptly to being surrounded by lemurs and the fact that they had managed to move a part of the beach with them on it. After the lemurs explained that they wanted to show them their part of paradise on the island.
It was beautiful. Harry joined Alex and Marty on the run across the fields, he noticed when Alex's eyes had changed, he became faster and managed to pass by Marty. Harry narrowed his eyes in thought.
Then chuckled a little when they crashed, though Harry had a feeling he knew what changed in Alex. He joined the gang in their relaxation from the lemurs though Harry had a feeling there was a hidden motive from King Julian's hospitality or maybe he was being overly paranoid. 'As Moody used to say, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!'
He laid next to Melman also getting massaged from the tiny heavenly hands, Harry groaned in appreciation. He saw Alex jumping around like he was on drugs or a major sugar rush. He saw Marty shove a pineapple in his mouth, Harry scoffed, As if any self-respecting carnivore would eat that, then again he isn't the smartest carnivore around when it comes to food.
Harry ignored the gang as they got Alex to go up on the rock and do his roar, if you could call it a roar. Then he heard an actual roar coming from Alex and stared up in shock while they were doing the wave with Alex and noticed too late when he went to bite Marty. He screamed in pain and they all stared at Alex. "Excuse me, you're biting my butt!"
"No I'm not," Right. Deny, deny, deny, as they always say. "You just bit me on the butt! What the heck is wrong with you? Why'd you bite me?"
King Julian tried to wave it away, "What is a simple bite on the buttocks among friends? Here, give me a nibble." Maurice waved him away and exposed King Julian's plan.
"You're friend here is what we call a delux model hunting-and-eating machine. And he eats steak which is you." Harry rolled his eyes, Finally someone explains.
"Oh come on, do I look like a steak to you?" Marty asked.
Alex got the same look in his eye as before, "Yeah" "See I told you I don't look like no…. wait what'd you say?" "Oh yeah," Alex crouched ready to pounce. Harry tackled him before he could chase any of them while the gang just stared. "What are you waiting for?! RUN!" Harry yelled.
That got them to start running away from Alex before he got free but Harry was stronger than he looked. Alex then snapped out of his daze, looking horrified at realizing what he had almost done. "What have I done?"
king Julian seeing that it was taken care of turned to Maurice, "Well, looks like we won't need the coconut anymore."
"Well, we can start with a whole list of things, you haven't eaten steak in a while, you tried to eat your friends and your instincts are going into overdrive," as he pointed out. Alex frustrated yelled, "How can you just calmly state that out?!"
"Because I knew I would be able to stop you before you took an actual bite out of them, though I wouldn't stop you if you went after one of the lemurs," Harry said as he rubbed his chin. Alex jaw dropped when he heard the last comment, "What? Why do you think that I haven't done the same thing as you have?" Alex then realized what he was talking about.
Alex pointed at Harry horrified, "You ate the lemurs?!" he squeaked out. Harry had a deadpan look on his face, "No, only one and that was just to get a taste and they would otherwise notice if more than one went missing. Please they don't seem to bathe," as Harry stuck out his tongue in disgust.
Alex then went back to moping as he walked around the island while getting hit with random things. He was also guessing that seeing all these animals get eaten was also making him mope some more. Harry sighed, He's too soft for his own good.
Harry watched as Alex started sharping a bunch of sticks and putting them into the ground as a sort of jail around himself. 'Really. He seems to think as if it wasn't easy enough to just jump out of his so called jail. Harry sighs, "Alright princess, I think you're taking this moping thing a little too far." Alex just turned away from him and continued moping. "How can you say that? I almost attacked my friends." Harry thinks in response on what to say. "Look princess, what you did was your instincts acting up especially since this is your first time being exposed to the actual wild and you haven't had your steak in awhile."
"Then how come you haven't done the same thing either?" Alex asks as he finally turned toward Harry. Harry explained, "I have actually been exposed to the wild. After all that was where I was before those humans caught me. And how says I haven't eaten?"
Alex looks horrified at what he hinted at. Harry chuckled a little, "Seriously, I ate when you guys were playing around or talking with the natives." That put Alex in thought remembering when he would disappear from time to time. "Wait, you never ate any of the lemurs did you?"
Harry looked disgusted, "Ugh. No, those things never seemed to take baths or anything. I thought we already talked about this." Alex laughed at the look on Harry's face. But then went back to moping, Marty then chose the perfect timing to show up where he and Alex were, how he found them Harry would never know.
Marty came closer to Alex talking to him while Harry stood off to the side to give them a little privacy. 'Maybe this will help him snap out of his funk' Alex then lost control of his instincts again which caused him to swipe at Marty before coming back to himself once more. Harry groaned in exasperation, 'Why can't things ever be simple?'
Alex crawled deeper into his cave of shame, Marty following. "I'm not leaving without you Alex," he heard Marty say. Then witnessed as he started singing "New York, New York". Alex didn't respond, Marty came out dejected. Harry turned to him,"At least you tied your best."
"Yeah but it didn't work. I know I'll ask Gloria and Melman to come and help me!" Marty raced off before Harry could say anything. Harry stares off wondering what just happened. He walks into Alex's cave of shame. "Seriously? Are you going to sit here and mope the whole time or are you going to learn how to control your instincts?" Alex didn't respond. "Fine, you can stay here while I go find Marty and get on the ship on the way home. Also real kings don't act the way you do." Harry said as he walked off.
As Harry walked off he heard sounds of fighting and saw that the whole gang was fighting against the foosa with the help of the penguins. 'They really can't stay out of trouble can they? Now what to do to help them out?' As Harry was thinking up a plan to help them out he heard running behind him. He turned around to find that it was Alex. "Harry!" Alex yelled out relieved that he hadn't gotten far then saw what he was looking at.
"Oh my gosh! What are we going to do! We have to help them!" Alex said as he prepared to jump into the fray. Harry grabbed hold of him before he could, "Don't just jump in without thinking. We have to come up with a plan." Harry then got an idea when he remembered the time from earlier when they first arrived. Harry then got Alex into the plan.
The gang were having trouble with the foosa even with the help of the penguins, just as they were about to give up they saw Alex and Harry appear! They were saved! But then they saw Alex as he headed toward Marty and claim him as his territory and Harry do the same with Melman and Gloria as he circled around them. Growling at the foosa, 'Had Harry finally snapped as well?' Was the thought they all shared. "Psst. Hey herbivores, this is all a part of the plan so just play along," Harry whispered to them. They then realized what he was planning and nodded to show that they understood. To sell it, Alex and Harry started attacking the foosa and getting them to run away before they got hurt from the bigger predators. For good measure to make sure they wouldn't do this again, they yell at them to never come back. Safe to say the foosa wouldn't be showing up anytime soon.
King Julian meanwhile having seen this, smiled that his plan was a success.
Back on the beach, Rico, one of the penguins, prepares a sushi dish from the fish they caught. 'That's one way of working out his steak problem' Harry thought as he watched them give the sushi pieces to try and as Alex ordered 300 to go. He saw the penguins relaxing on the beach as Alex and the gang were waving goodbye. He walked quietly behind them and heard Private's comment. "Skipper, don't you think we should tell them the ship ran out of gas?" Skipper turns at the comment, "Nah, just smile and wave boys." Harry then makes himself known, "Out of gas, huh."
The penguins turn when they hear Harry behind them. "W-we meant to tell them. We swear!" Skipper tries to cover up, but Private outs in, "But Skipper didn't you say that we should just smi-" but was slapped before he could finish the comment. The rest of the penguins laugh nervously, Harry them smirks at them. "Sounds like a good prank, so as you said just smile and wave boys."
That was good okay this I have been saving up for awhile and its finished. Tell me what you think and I may continue this for the rest of the movie series!