Elf Café and Mairon's Manor

Míleth, Elíl, and Lir are back with their ships for another chaotic, humor-filled adventure! Join us as we attempt to break the big news to our parents, raise Beleg and Maeglin, cuddle Mairon some more, help Feänor get reborn- and get Maedhros shipped!? And what is this new task we've been given?

I'm BACK! *throws open door dramatically*

*crickets chirp* okay... *coughs awkwardly* apologies... Anyways, and we're back with another cracky, utterly insane fic of magnificently hilarious proportions! I can't wait! *shrieks* I know many of you have been waiting anxiously... And I wasn't going to upload till much later but... You guys wouldn't leave me alone... And I was put through so many guilt trips, so... I decided to update now. *laughs awkwardly*

So disclaimer for the rest of this fic: I OWN NADA BUT MÍLETH AND HER BIOLOGICAL PARENTS. Elíl owns herself, that is Evangeline Pond, Lir (Aegliriel) also owns herself, that is WoodElfJedi, and I also forgot to mention that I own the names of Elíl's 'biological parents.'

Anyways, enough with my rambling, please enjoy.. And review? *puppy eyes*

Chapter 1

I snorted. "Feänor's making trouble. Why am I not surprised?" I asked sarcastically, throwing up my hands. Then I collapsed on the couch in the living room, groaning. Moryo sat next to me, wrapping an arm around me comfortingly. Mairon climbed into my lap, reaching up to kiss my cheek. I sighed.

"You'll be fine, stop complaining." Moryo said, rolling his eyes at me with an unimpressed look. I rolled my eyes back.

"I love you too, Moryo." I said amusedly, and he glared at me.

"I told you not to say that in public!" He hissed. Elíl and Lir giggled as I leaned over, kissing his cheek.

"What did you say, now, Moryo?" I asked sweetly. He stood up and stalked off as the rest of the family laughed at him riotously. I wriggled my fingers at him with a grin.

"Well. Looks like I have to go. Elíl, any messages?" I asked standing up. Beleg and Maeglin attached themselves to me. I raised an eyebrow at them. They hugged me and then let go.

"Come back soon muinthel." Maeglin begged. I smiled and kissed his hair.

"I will, hanno." I replied fondly. "Be good, yonya, okay?" I asked, kissing Beleg's cheek. He nodded.

"Yes Naneth." He said, and I smiled.

"Good."

"Just tell my parents that I can't wait to see them soon." Elíl replied with a smile. I nodded.

"Gotcha." I answered, then hefted Mairon onto my hip. "Coming with, sweet?"

He nodded happily, chewing on a piece of candy, and I kissed his cheek. "Good. Let's go then." And I thought us away to the halls of Mandos.

...

"Maaaasterrrr!" I hollered, wandering through a random hallway.

*Good grief- oh, here, Padawan.* Nàmo led me to a room. I opened the door- and ducked as a vase flew over my head.

"#%&$%$#&! Nàmo, get OUT!" A voice roared.

*Master... Maybe you should take his advice. I'll take it from here.* I suggested tentatively.

*Good luck with this one.* Was his annoyed reply, and I rolled my eyes. I closed the door, and Mairon sneaked over to the bed in the room.

I stood up, dodging flying books. "Prince Curufinwë Feänàro Finwion. May I ask you a question?" My voice was calm. The ufo's abruptly stopped flying about. And I came face to face with my adopted father.

He had dark, almost raven locks of hair, with amber eyes and fair, creamy skin. It seems as though Caranthir took after his looks quite a bit- only, in my opinion, Feänor looked a lot like he would make a really good dad or even big brother. Too bad he wasn't before. Pity. I could just see him humming and tying up little Pityo's hair...

"Who are you?" Feänor asked bluntly, with suspicion in his voice. I surveyed him calmly, gauging his reactions.

"I am Míleth, your adopted daughter, Maia under lord Nàmo." I replied calmly. Feänor stared at me.

"So you're the one that some of my sons went to visit. Celine, was your name?" He asked haughtily. My lips quirked. Okay. So he was aware of me.

"Yes, Ata. Yes, I am." I answered politely. He raised an eyebrow at the familiar form of address but didn't dispute it.

"Hmm. An unusual one, are you? Well. What was your question?" He demanded. I stifled a snort. Oh my Valar, this was my dad!?

*See?* Nàmo complained.

I sighed. *This will be a toughie.* out loud: "would you like to send a letter to Naneth, Ata?"

He stared at me like my eyes had changed color. Oh wait, that's kind of already there... Never mind. "... Come again?"

"Do you want to write a letter to Naneth, Ata?" I repeated. He blinked.

"I suppose." He answered, a bit faintly. I raised an eyebrow.

"Of course. Then I shall wait for you to finish it, Ata." And so saying, I sat down on the bed and began to play with Mairon. After a moment of just standing there, Feänor went over to the desk and opened the drawer. Then he sat down and began to write. I smiled.

*Thats a first. I don't ever remember him like THAT.* Nàmo muttered. *What is it about you that makes people so off-guard, yeldë?*

*... Because I'm your daughter?*

There was a swat to my head as I heard Irmo began to laugh himself silly. *Perfect punchline, niece!*

*Irmo, you stay out of this!*

I was snickering my head off. *Thank you, uncle.* I retorted smugly. Nàmo groaned.

Feänor stood up again, and I looked up. Then I stood and walked over. "Do you expect a reply, Ata?" I asked, taking the envelope from his hand and tucking into my robe. He blinked.

"Ah- perhaps not. I do not know." Was his reply. I nodded.

"Of course, Ata. I will return with a reply if there is one." I said with a bow, and then reached over and hugged Feänor. He stiffened. "I love you Ata! See you soon!" And with that, I grabbed Mairon and disappeared.

*... I think he's shocked, Yeldë. He's just sitting there and blinking.* Nàmo noted with professional interest.

*Really? Hmmm. My hugs must be awesome.* I grinned. Mairon giggled.

I reappeared in front of the house where Nerdanel stayed, and raised a hesitant hand. Then my hand dropped.

*Whats wrong yeldë?* Nàmo asked.

*I'm scared, Ata. What will she say? Will she like me? Will she approve of me? Oh my Valar...* I started to panic. Then the door opened. I was face-to-face with an elleth that had red hair, green eyes, and an exhausted, sad sort of smile on her face. I blinked.

"Greetings." Nerdanel's voice was gentle. Now I know where Nelyo gets his voice from. I blowed hastily.

"Greetings... Naneth. I- I bring a missive from Ata." I stammered, handing her the letter. She stared down at the name on it, and then looked up at me. Her eyes bored into me, and I looked back into them. Her eyes were pretty.

"So you are the one who took care of my sons while they were away." Nerdanel said softly, studying me with a small smile.

I blushed. "It was a pleasure to, Naneth." I replied, scuffing my foot against the ground. "I- I love them very much. They have become family..." I looked at her uncertainly. "I know that they want to see you, but they're unsure of what you will say." I trailed off.

She stepped forwards and placed a hand on mine. "Thank you." She whispered. "I love them very much, all of them. I want to see them as well."

I smiled and dared to give her a hug. "I think that can be arranged. We wouldn't mind if you moved in with us, Naneth." I said softly. She hugged me back gently.

"Thank you, dear. I would like that." She said, and her smile this time was a little less sad. "And thank you for the letter." She added. I nodded with a smile, hefting Mairon on my lap.

"It was not a problem, Naneth. If you want to write a reply then you may. I will see that it gets to Ata. I'll go make arrangements for you to move in with us as well." I added. She nodded.

"Thank you-" she gave me a puzzled look and I blushed.

"Pardon. My name is Míleth." I said with a smile. She nodded.

"Of course, Míleth. Thank you again." And the door closed. I thought myself away.

*... That was... Interesting.* I muttered.

*Very. Well. Are you going to help your parents or not?* Nàmo replied.

I moaned. *I really don't love you right now, master.*

Chuckle. *Now, you know you don't mean that yeldë. Now, hurry up, shoo. They're in the west wing and first room, since they're not going to the Timeless Halls just yet.* Nàmo replied, and then disappeared. I sighed, dragging my feet to the room and standing in front of it.

I stared morosely at the door. I did miss my parents, but... I still don't know how to tell them that I'm engaged, that I'm a Maia under lord Nàmo, and that they need to be reborn as elves and everything else... Oh my Valar.

Mairon hugged me. "It'll be okay, onònë. Come on! Let's go in." He bounced excitedly on my hip, and I smiled at him.

"Got it, Mairon." I laughed, and then decided to shift into human form. My hair was still down to my waist, I was still dressed in my apprentice tabard, and my ears were now round. Then I took a deep breath, and opened the door.

The door shut behind me, and I shifted Mairon on my hip. I looked up. There were four people staring at me, very familiar people. Then there was a cry. "Celine!" And I was smothered in two people's arms. I began to laugh happily, tears streaming down my cheeks as I hugged them back.

"Mom! Dad!" I exclaimed, and then pulled back. Mom was crying, though she looked a little funny with no body and just her feä floating about. Dad looked the same as ever, though he too was merely a feä. In fact, they looked disconcertingly younger. I raised an eyebrow.

"Looks like the process has already started." I said with a smile, then turned to Elíl's parents. "Hi Mr. Jonathan, Mrs. Carrie! It's good to see you. Elíl sends her greetings and says that she can't wait to see you again." I waved. They smiled at me and came to give me a hug too.

"Thank you, Celine. Where is she?" Mrs. Carrie asked.

"I'm sorry she couldn't come, but only those who serve under lord Nàmo are allowed to enter the halls of Mandos." I answered with an apologetic smile, and they blinked.

"Serve under who? Halls of what?" Mr. Jonathan asked.

"And why are you not an elf, dear?" Mom queried.

"What do you mean the process has already started?" Dad asked.

I raised a hand, laughing. Mairon giggled. "Okay okay wait please! I'll answer your questions, but first, let me introduce you to Mairon, formerly known as Sauron." I said with a wink at dad, who returned it and reached over to ruffle the little Maia's hair.

"Nice to see you again, Mairon." He said, and he smiled back and waved shyly, burying himself into my side. I kissed his head as mom and Aunt Carrie 'awwed.'

"Atto, could we please have some chairs?" I queried into seeming thin air, and in response five chairs appeared. "Ah, Hannon lle Atto. Tye melin." I smiled, and there was a faint chuckle from nowhere and everywhere. The four parents turned white, and I suddenly remembered the effect that Atto had one humans and hustled them into chairs, handing them water that had appeared not-so-mysteriously.

"Who was that?" Uncle Jonathan asked. I smiled.

"Well. I'm sure you know why you are here, correct?" I asked. They all nodded.

Mom gave me a wistful look. "You're so grown up, dear." She sighed. I looked down at myself and realized that yes, in human form I looked to be in my mid-twenties.

"Oh... Yes.. I see... Time passes so quickly for an immortal being..." I murmured, and they blinked. "Sorry. Anyways, this is the halls of Mandos, where spirits come when they die. Tolkien's world took place in the past, long before the beginning of our world as we know it. We have quite a few twisted tales about the time of elves, however, such as Atlantis, which was actually the fall of Númenor. Valinor, where you are right now, is in the tenth dimension, which cannot be reached by mortals still alive, though some have. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Straight Path, the place where we elves can find a way to Valinor. The reports of missing ships in that area.. Apparently they were mistakes made by Ossë." I finished with a thin smile as they attempted to understand.

"There are fourteen great beings called the Valar, which you know as archangels, all under the command of Eru, or God, the One creator of all things and places. We worship Him. Melkor is an ex-Vala, who you know better as Satan, or Lucifer." I added, and they nodded, able to understand my connections.

"I am not an elf, as mom noticed." I nodded, and she frowned.

"But I assumed that you would be, since you cannot live in Aman as a human, I gathered from what you used to say." She said, confused. I nodded.

"Yes. However, it seems as though as children, Lark and I had souls that were uncommonly bright, to be able to better fight off the darkness of our time. An elvish body cannot hold such a bright light- therefore, Lark and I are actually Maiar, which is technically an angel." I said with a smile, and there was a startled silence. Then Dad grinned.

"So your mom always said." He teased, and I groaned as they laughed heartily and mom just smiled smugly.

"Anyways, moving on- you will become elves in order to live here as well." I said with a smile, and they nodded. "You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. You can always move on from here to the Timeless Halls, where Eru is. As an elf, you cannot go there, because you will be bound to this earth until the Dagor Dagorath, which you know to be the Armageddon. That may be many, many millennium away. I'm not trying to get rid of you, I want you to stay, but I cannot in good conscience not inform you of your choice. An elf is immortal, and the years grow long and weary to us who live on and on." I said with a sigh, and petted Mairon's head as he purred.

"But life is also very, very fun, hmm sweetness?" I asked, cuddling him, and he nodded with a grin.

"Yeah!"

The four chuckled. "Well, we already made our choice a long time ago, Celine." My dad said softly. "We will become elves to see our children again."

I nodded. "So be it- by the way, I should probably tell you our story that you missed. My name isn't exactly Celine anymore, after all." I grinned, and then suddenly frowned.

"Did you... Die... Peacefully?" I asked softly, and mom gave me a reassuring hug.

"Don't worry, dear. We all died at a good age, though it was very difficult to try to explain why you and Lark weren't there. But it's okay." She comforted, and I nodded, mollified.

"Good. Well, so it kind of happened like this..." and I went on to tell them all that they had missed- except for a few certain details... By the time I had almost finished, they were laughing with tears streaming down their cheeks, and I was giggling insanely along with Mairon.

"So you are raising Beleg and Maeglin, now?" Mom asked, and I sighed, nodding.

"Yes." I groaned. They laughed. I had had to explain to them about the Silmarillion, but it was easy with my Maia skills to just transfer to them all the information I already knew.

"I can't believe I have the judge of the dead as a... Brother? Fellow father?" Dad tried, and I snickered.

"Don't worry dad, you and Atto have a lot in common, especially by the way of humor." I sniggered, and mom groaned. I laughed and then went on.

"So, this is what you need to know of politics and lifestyles-" and I began to teach them how to be proper elves.

"Before I leave, though- you will stay here for a few more days, as time reckons out there- I need to tell you something." I took a deep breath, trying to center myself.

"I'm not a.. A child anymore, you know. I'm actually several thousand years old, for time here is different from time there." I said vaguely, and they nodded, though they still looked baffled at the thought of their children being older than they. I gave them a faint smile.

"And well... I don't know how to put this." I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair. Dad came and threw an arm around my shoulders.

"What? You know you can tell us, sweetie. Did you kill your first orc?" He joked. I gave him a wintery smile.

"No, there are no orcs here, but I can fight, you know. I learned under the Vala of war, lord Tulkas, and I am a Maia." I replied, and then sighed.

"I- I'm- both Elíl and I are engaged." I said quietly, and then looked to the side nowhere in particular, hands twisting in my lap. There was a stunned, tense silence. Then after a moment, dad lifted my hand, which had a silver band on the left pointer finger.

"Why didn't I see that?" He asked weakly. Mom gasped.

"I'm going to have a son-in-law? And grandchildren!? Who is it? It had better be someone I know is an honorable person, or else I will- oh don't cry, dearie, there there." She patted my hand soothingly as I laughed and cried hysterically, throwing my arms around her.

"Oh Mom." I choked, and then pulled away with tears in my eyes. "I wouldn't agree to marry anyone who wasn't." I said with a smile, and she nodded, though obviously still unsatisfied. "And don't worry. I've been waiting for you all to get here so that the wedding could be held with you here. I would never deny you that, Mom." I added with a tearful smile. She began to hug me, crying.

"Oh I can't believe my little girl is getting-"

"Mom, please!" I wailed, causing the others to laugh. She sighed and pulled away.

"You said that La- Elíl is getting married too?" Aunt Carrie asked softly. I smiled and hugged her.

"He's a wonderful elf, Auntie, I promise, and he loves her very much. They are soulmates. It's a reason we were brought here. He would do anything for her, I'm sure." I said with a wicked grin at Mairon, who rolled on the floor laughing.

Uncle Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Are we... Missing something?" He asked dryly. It took a while to calm down after I managed to tell them the story of Lover's Leap.

"Yes, well, you will forgive us if we are not satisfied-" aunt Carrie began, but I cut her off.

"Oh no, I understand that, Auntie, Mom. I know. And it is for that reason that I don't want to tell you who they are so that you can meet them and accept them for who they are, not for names- Atto!" And I pitched myself into Nàmo's arms as he appeared and chuckled, placing a hand on my head.

"It is good to see you as well, yeldë. I wanted to come and see my- what is it?- brother? Fellow father?" He winked, making me laugh as my parents turned white.

"Peace, Suiadan, Alassiel. Peace, Jonathan, Carrie. I am here as a parent, equal to you." Nàmo said soothingly, and they regained color as they bowed. I giggled.

"You're so scary, Atto." I snickered, and he whacked me upside the head.

"To everyone but you." He growled good-naturedly, raising an eyebrow. I stuck out my tongue and made a rude noise to which he sighed exasperatedly.

"Oh master, you know that I respect you for a great many reasons... Not the least being for your love of stuffed animals-"

"Yeldë, I will have you NOT spread rubbish about me, I have a reputation to uphold, you know." Nàmo said in sepulchral tones that only made me laugh myself silly and roll on the floor. Nàmo watched me dispassionately.

"Was she always like this?" He turned to my parents conversationally, who were watching with odd looks as though they didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Dad gave Nàmo a considering look. "Do you want me to start?" He asked. Nàmo gave him a thin smile.

"I see." He glanced to me again. "I don't know why in the name of Atar I love her, but I do. We seem to be in the same boat, hmm?" He stated it as though he were noting the weather. Dad and mom looked at each other, and then nodded, turning back to Nàmo.

"I think we up understand each other very well, lord Nàmo." Dad answered.

I sat up, scowling. "Heyyyy! That's treason!" I complained, and then pouted as they began to laugh.

"I will never understand how you found someone to actually love you..."

"Mairon!"

It was Mairon's turn to laugh himself silly on the floor, and this time he was joined by four adults.

"... You all have not a kind spot in your souls for me." I said pitifully, and mom giggled.

"But dearie, I have many kind bones in my body for all people." She replied.

I gave her a glare. "That's exactly why you don't have them now! You don't HAVE a body!" I wailed.

There was a pause. Dad burst into laughter. "I think we'd forgotten that."

I sulked.

Seriously.

I'm beginning to regret that they're here.

Or maybe not.

...

"I'll make sure it gets to him right away." I assured Nerdanel with a smile, and she nodded.

"Thank you." She said, and I thought myself away. Mairon had volunteered to help the four parents with any questions they might have, and in the meantime I was running errands for lord Nàmo.

I arrived in front of Feänor's door, and the two Maia nearby gave me sympathetic looks when I grimaced. I grinned at them wryly. "And to think that he's my adopted father." I said sarcastically, and they chuckled at me. "By the way, where's Maranwë?" I asked, and one of them pointed down the hall.

"Complaining about some paperwork, as usual." He winked, and I laughed as I placed a hand on the one-way doorknob. I opened the door on my knees and was relieved that I did as a book flew over my head. I winced and shuffled in.

"Ata?" I queried. The next book froze in Feänor's hand.

"Oh. It's you." He sneered, and I smiled. That was Feänor, alright.

"Yes, Ata, it is I. I have brought you a reply from Naneth." I said, and handed it to him with a slight bow. There was a pause as Feänor studied me, seemingly suspicious, and a slight undercurrent of something else that I couldn't define. Then he took the letter.

"Should I leave you to read it in private, my lord, or shall I stay?" I asked politely, and he did a double take.

"Stay. There's a seat." He waved negligently in the direction of a chair by the bed which I suspected master used sometimes. I sat down in it, calling a timetable to my hand that was filled out for the next day by Maranwë, head of the Maiar under lord Nàmo.

This was my schedule:

Morning 9:00-11:00 - report for duties. Míleth, you are responsible for Feänor's needs for now. You are allowed to take breaks when needed for attending to your other two newly reborn charges.

Noon 11:00-12:00 - break

Afternoon 12:00-4:00 - Feänor. Help your parents as needed. More shall be added if necessary. Stand by.

"You. Míleth." Feänor stated, and I stood, tucking the schedule into my pocket.

"Yes, Ata?" I answered, and he motioned for me to come closer.

"Nerdanel says that she will be moving in with you and our sons?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes, she will be." I confirmed, and he gave me an indecipherable look.

"I see. Return this to her, then." Feänor said, and handed me an envelope. Then he paused. I waited patiently.

"How- are my sons?" He asked grudgingly. I blinked.

"They are well, my lord. Maitimo is well, and is a very good big brother to us all." I smiled faintly. "Káno is engaged to my sister in the thought of Eru, Aegliriel, and is very happy. He sings often as well. Moryo is as dark and grouchy as ever, always denying that he loves dear and only adopted sister and the rest of the family." My lips twitched. "Tyelko is very happy with Drago, descendant of Huan, and Drago's puppies. He is as blonde and fair as ever. Curufin is still in these halls, refusing to leave until his- our- father does." I went on, ignoring the look he shot me. "Pityo and Telvo are as adorable as ever, being reborn as elflings. They have attached themselves to Elíl and Lir. All in all, we are very happy and eagerly awaiting for you to join us, Ata." I finished neutrally, not displaying any dominant emotion.

Feänor seemed to digest the information, and then waved me away in a clear dismissal. "I see. Thank you." He tacked the last sentence on with a condescending air, ignoring my last comment.

I bowed. "I live to serve. Rest well, my lord." And I made my retreat. As soon as I closed the door, I ran down the hallway, hand over my mouth. Maranwë looked up at from the fountain he was sitting at in a rare break.

"Something wrong, Míleth?" He asked in concern. I turned to him, and then promptly blurted.

"OHMYVALAR I-cannot-do-this-Feänor-is-such-a-prick-it-hurts-but-I-feel-so-guilty-becuase-he-is-my-adopted-father-and-I-want-to-help-him-but-I'm-afraid-I-can't-becuase-I'm-so-annoyed-and-I-don't-know-how-to-handle-this-and-I-seriously-need-help-and-GAAH-I'M-SO-ANNOYED!" I sat down next to him despondently as he took a moment to formulate a reply.

"...come again?" He asked. I shot him a glare. He chuckled and patted my head fondly, ruffling it. "Don't worry, I think all of the Valar and Maiar feel that way about him." He said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Very helpful, Maranwë, thank you so much." I said sarcastically, and he sniggered.

"You are most welcome, Míleth." He replied gleefully.

"...you are having way too much fun with this, you sadist." I said, and standing, swept away down the hallway, where to I'm not sure.

"You sounded eerily like Estáno at the end there!" He called after me. I turned and looked at him.

"What?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You haven't heard of Estáno? He's a Maia under lord Tulkas, you should go see him." Maranwë replied. I blinked.

"O-kay? Will do, I guess." And I walked off again. Come to think of it- I thought myself to the sundial in the garden. It was four o clock. I sighed in relief, and after delivering the letter to Nerdanel, thought myself back home.

This. Had been a loooong day.

The idea of the Bermuda Triangle being the Straight Path that leads to Valinor was inspired by a conversation with Peregrin Took the Falcon. Look it up on Wikipedia and you'll understand how much it makes sense.

Translations: Hannon lle, Atto. Tye melin: thank you, dad. I love you. (Quenyä)

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