This is my first story in a very long time. I have no idea where this came from. But once I started writing, I couldn't stop. So I apologise if it's absolutely horrendous.
Nothing apart from the idea belongs to me.
Sometimes, I think it's really hard to figure someone out. Sometimes, I think they hide themselves behind anger and aggressiveness. Or even some who hide behind happiness and smiles. Obviously fake. Because no one can be that happy all the time.
That someone is me. I'm not that happy. I'm not all smiles and giggles. I'm not all colour. And bright skirts. Luminous heels.
Trust me, I can be sometimes. But mostly, I'm hiding my sadness. I'm naturally a happy person. Definitely. But love (and dinosaurs) really screws you over. Especially when you work in the ARC with the love of your life. With a whole team of dinosaurs. Not even joking. We have a mammoth. It sounds like a stupid nightmare. But I'm serious. The ARC has real life dinosaurs.
Not to mention a really hot, super gorgeous Head of Security.
But don't tell anyone I said that.
Sadly, he just sees me as a young, cutesy girl with a crazy amount of shoes.
I had thought I might be getting somewhere finally, when I nearly died. Evil, gross bugs! He fought tooth and nail to save my life. (According to Abby and Emily, anyway…)
I thought maybe he might do something after we saved the world. But suddenly, they were chasing a train through an anomaly and everything was forgotten again.
How can I get Becker to love me? Why is it this hard?! I should just give up and move on. I know, but you don't understand. When I describe him as super gorgeous. It's inside and out. He risks his life every single day, saving random members of the public from dinosaurs. (And looks incredible doing it.)
I just want him to grab me, put his fingers in my hair and just snog me.
He hides his true feelings behind his anger at the world. Me, I hide my sadness behind bright colours and smiles.
Abby tells me I should just do it myself. Every time we sit down for a girly evening, Emily bringing the wine, Abby the film, with me of course, bringing the chocolate, we go through the same conversation. I should tell Becker. Back him into a corner and kiss him before he can escape.
Personally, as a professional hacker, I think I should just time the elevators out, so when we're in one alone and together, it can jam and I can jump him there.
But getting him alone in an elevator probably isn't the easiest thing to do.
Emily thinks I should get him drunk. Which doesn't sound like something Emily would normally consider. She's probably spent too much time with Connor.
Sometimes I wonder if any of these plans would work. I can spend an entire hour daydreaming over how each possibility could turn out. Most of the time, it ends embarrassingly for me.
The occasional girly evening we're joined by Connor (Because he can't spend more than two hours without Abby. Sickening but also adorable!), he mentions that Becker clearly feels the same and all I need to do is hack his phone. Check the messages he sends to his sisters. Because surely they know everything.
According to Connor, all the soldiers have been told I'm out of bounds. But he's never said the same about Emily and Abby. But am I supposed to be able to guess if that's positive or what?
Abby and Emily think the best solution is really just to go shopping and buy myself more shoes. (Okay, that's a lie. When I say Abby and Emily, I mean me.)
Sometimes, when I get into work and sit down at the ADD, a bar of chocolate or a cup of coffee will work its way onto my desk. It's always from Becker. Every time.
Sometimes, his little smirk will send a shiver down my spine. Sometimes that shiver is sensual. Sometimes that shiver is anger.
Why can't he just make himself a little bit more obvious? Why does he have to be so damn confusing? Why can't he just come up to me and hand me the chocolate and just say 'Hey, Jess, would you like to go out on a date with me?'? Is that so bloody difficult?
But no, he says absolutely nothing, just smiles while I stutter out my thanks, trying to tone down the blush crawling across my cheeks.
Can I lock him somewhere he can't escape and force him to admit his feelings? Or would that scare him and send me to prison?
Would Lester actually let him send me to prison? I don't think he could really do that.
Sometimes, I think maybe all of this is driving me crazy. Send me to prison. Ha.
It's his Second in Command that gets me. When we first met, I told him to call me Jess. Then two weeks later, after many conversations about his wife and daughter, he stops talking to me and when I ask him how he is, he calls me Miss. Parker. Something about not being allowed to call me Jess and not having time to talk to me.
But yet, he still calls Abby by her first name. I'll admit he calls Emily by her surname, but she is from a time where this is normal and Emily has never commented on it.
Abby says Matt overheard him being yelled at by Becker about talking to me. Something about distracting me from my job. Which is absolutely ridiculous. If anything, he's the one distracting me from my job.
Why won't he just kiss me? It's not fair.
It's about two months after the whole saving the world, billion anomalies thing, when I think I might be finally getting somewhere.
Abby and Connor have dragged us out for drinks to finally celebrate their engagement. We're at a pub about ten minutes away from all of our surrounding flats. I've got my nicest heels on. The kind that make your legs look longer than they've ever been. And for once, I'm wearing a black dress. One that's tight and shows off all of my curves.
It's when I walk up to the bar to get the next round in, that anything actually happens. It's while I'm stood at the bar, waiting to be served, that a man toddles over, clearly drunk, whistles and raises his eyebrows, clearly perving on me. He leans over, about to whisper in my ear, when suddenly he disappears and Becker's glaring angrily at the man he's just shoved out of the way.
When the man growls, growing red in the face, Becker stands in front of me protectively and raises a single eyebrow, obviously questioning the guys next move.
Just as the man raises a fist, Becker grabs it, twists it up and around his back, leans forward and says something into his ear.
When he lets the guy go, he looks up at me, before running straight out the nearest exit.
Becker walks back to the table before I can even say a thing. I just stand there, looking a little bit like a fish out of water.
Becker stood up for me. He actually chased a man away from me. Surely that means something?
We get up and leave after we've finished my round. All too startled by Becker's actions to stay for more. Besides, we all have work tomorrow anyway.
Abby texts later to tell me that Becker had seen the guy looking and had moved towards me before the man had even started wandering over.
This text doesn't exactly make him any easier to understand.
A few months later and Emily and I are out at the nearest dressing up shop gathering things for Abby's Hen Party. It's while I'm giggling at Emily, who's looking in disgust at the penis shaped head boppers, that we hear two familiar male voices behind us.
It's then that I realise I'm holding a box labelled as 'Cock Candy' and a huge penis shaped straw.
The men walk around the last aisle and almost straight into Emily, who is sat on the floor looking at the different items available.
My eyes, of course, go straight to the Captains, who also happens to be looking at me. Before I look down, realise what I'm holding and shove them behind by back.
"Girls, what are you doing here?" Matt asks.
"Abby's Hen Night is tomorrow evening, we're just picking up last minute things," I take a quick glance to see the boys are holding feather boas and what I'm pretty sure is a bright green Mankini, "I assume that's what you're doing too?"
"Yeah, just last minute details." Matt looks down to his girlfriend, who is still studying the multiple items surrounding her.
"Jess, what is this?" Emily has picked up a black box with the silver lettering reading 'My Little Helper'.
What's the easiest way to explain a vibrator to a woman from another century? "That is a… Uh… It's a sex toy." Emily instantly drops it, eyes wide.
I can clearly see the boys trying to hide their laughter.
Emily jumps back to her feet and Matt instantly grabs her into his arms. Which leaves me and Becker standing their awkwardly for a moment.
"I'm just going to take Emily for a coffee; you two know what you're looking for, ring when you want us." And with that, Emily and Matt walk off. Leaving it even more awkward between us.
"Right, so what else have you got to get?" I ask, looking back at the 'Cock Candy' I'm still holding in my hand.
"I just wanted to get a pink, fluffy crown and maybe one of those 'L' plates." He reaches to grab them as he says it, "Anything else for you, or shall we go and pay?"
"Nope, this is it." I have the 'L' plates already, along with the sashes and head boppers.
We walk together to the till. Placing our objects down. The woman at the checkout starts scanning and packing the items for us.
"Isn't he sweet, helping you sort out a friends Hen Night, wish my boyfriend was so good,"
"He's not my…." I get cut off as the Captain answers with "Thanks, but I'm actually getting a few items for the matching Stag Do." He smiles at me, pulls out his card and pays before I even realise what he's done.
"And paying too. So not fair. Are you sure you want to keep him? I'll take him off your hands," She winks at me.
I just gawk, not entirely sure how to reply, as Becker grabs the bags, thanks the woman, takes my hand and walks us out of the door.
"Jess, do you want to get coffee?"
"Uh, yes please. I think it's needed." I respond without thinking.
"No, not now, I mean, would you like to get coffee sometime," I look up at him blankly, "Like a date…?" I'm still stood there, looking at him like an idiot.
He smirks.
And then he kisses me.
And let me tell you, he's an incredible kisser.