521Habit is the enemy of mankind and human adaptability is its preferred accomplice.
No matter how difficult or degrading a situation, given enough time, the human mind will grow progressively more numb to its effects. The amount of time required, of course, may vary depending from the severity of the situation.
In the case of Tohsaka Rin four weeks had been enough to become more comfortable with her situation. That is not to say that she was happy with it, far from it in fact, but her stubborn attempts at not enjoying Gerard's expertise had started to become increasingly weaker over the first month of their agreement, possibly more so because the pleasure he forced her to feel did nothing but increase every time.
It is to be noted that she didn't feel any less guilty about it, returning to Saber and laying in her embrace every night made sure of that that, in fact it perhaps even made it worse. Going home at night with her body still shaking from being put through several climaxes made her feel dirtier than ever.
That didn't change the fact that keeping her voice low in the midst of intercourse had become an exercise in futility. Rin's struggle was now not getting too much into it, especially since she was expected to actively participate.
"Ah! How does.. – ah! – changing positions –hm- affects –ah! – the flow of Mana?" she asked while she swung her hips up and down over the length of his cock. It took all of her concentration not to add that extra swing to her butt that would have made it burrow just right into her.
"The position," he grunted, "changes little. It's the emotions that affects – fuck- the way Mana is transmitted. Things like… embarrassment and shame."
"You –ah- bastard! Don't… ah! Don't bully me!"
"It's research! And you agreed to it."
"Shut up! Ah!"
"Alright," he agreed, just before he lifted his torso, grabbing Rin's ass while kissing her lips.
"Hmmm!" Rin moaned into his mouth, as he used the hold he had on her to increase the tempo. With each thrust white sparks flickered across her vision. She made no resistance when his tongue slid into her mouth, reciprocating without even noticing.
It wasn't supposed to feel this good. It just wasn't.
He was spreading her most precious place with his meat rod, making her body shudder with a pleasure that neither Shirou and Saber combined ever managed, which only added to her increasing self-disgust.
Gerard broker their kiss, taking a moment to admire Rin's glazed eyes before accelerating the speed of his thrusts.
"AAAh!" Rin squealed when her pussy clenched tight around his shaft, climaxing again. Gerard wasn't done yet and kept on thrusting into her.
" Whaaa~t are you doing? " she half moaned and half cried. "I just. I… don't …! I'm going to… IiiiiH!"
Riding the edge of her first climax, Gerard brought her over a new one and still pushed ahead.
"Stooohp! You bastard!" she cried, slamming a fist against his chest. "Don't make me...!"
"Make you what?" he asked. "Tell me so that I can understand."
"Baaastarrrd!"
"I'll just keep going then."
"Noooh! I'm… I'm cummiiing!!"
And indeed she came, admitting it out loud for the first time in a month. Only then Gerard allowed himself to release his seed into her receptive womb. She scratched his back with her nails to the point of making him bleed but that was fine.
She shuddered and trembled with her head buried in his neck, trying to hide the fact that she was clenching her teeth, while her pussy drank his semen and his energy to the very last drop.
"Right, that much isn't enough to fill your Mana," he considered after a while. "We should do it one more time."
"Ah…," exhaled weakly. "Okay…"
He lifted her and himself from the bed, shaft still hard and buried into her, holding her by her ass and pinning her back against the wall in a precarious position. She was forced to wraps her legs around his waist or she would fall.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it looks like?" he asked and again begun pumping into her.
"Let me down… Not like this… Hmm! Ah!"
But Gerard was deaf to her complaints. Though he was holding her up, the body natural reaction when suspended midair was to cling to the nearest support and Rin did exactly that. Her pussy tightened magnificently around his dick, squeezing harder than ever.
"AhhhnnN!" she moaned into his shoulder, clinging to him with all four limbs.
"Do you like it this way, Rin?"
"Hmm!" she shook her head in denial, unable to trust her own words.
"Is that so? Guess I'll have to try harder then."
As promised his efforts redoubled and Rin was yet again approaching the point where she could no longer think. Biting her lip she prepared herself to have another orgasm wreaking her mind, but just as she was about to do just that, Gerard slowed to a near crawl.
Her pussy clenched, but it was like grasping at straws. She gasped in something that was relief tinged with disappointment.
Gerard gave her no chance to regain her bearing and increased his pace once more. There she was, approaching again that dreadful edge, only to be stopped and brought down empty another time.
She swallowed a curse. What game was he playing at, this time?
Ten more times Gerard took her to the very limit, only to fail her at the last possible moment.
Rin was beginning to go mad. She just wanted it to stop. She just wanted him to finish.
She just wanted to cum!
"As you wish," he grunted into her ear. Had.. had she spoken it out loud?
"Ooooh!"
Everything went white. His load burst into her, sending ripples of pleasure echoing into her womb. Each and every orgasm she had been denied until that moment crashed into her repeatedly, effectively blanking out her mind.
The satisfaction of release at that point overwhelmed every other feeling. Things such as right and wrong, guilt and shame, required higher thought process for which she didn't possess the capacity as of that moment.
She was only able to register what her body felt, beyond all misconceptions and without any dishonesty.
She was holding someone – it doesn't matter who! -, clinging to his body. Her legs, wrapped around his waist pulled him into her – deeper !- as much as their body could afford. His cock – hard! hot! strong! – buried to the hilt into her and his seed scorched into her womb.
As far as her body went, there was nothing wrong with any of that and her mind, blank like a canvas, was unable to fend off or rationalize those inputs, forced to accept them for what they were. Those emotions were burned into her at a deeper level like an unforgettable experience.
He slid out of her limp body and deposited her on the bed, her still convulsing, and proceeded to clean himself up.
She wouldn't stay like that, of course. She'd go back to normal in a matter of minutes, but that wasn't a problem to Gerard. He only had to keep training her body like that until it reacted in anticipation, regardless of her feelings. It would be so very amusing watching Rin craving for something she hated with her mind but loved with her body.
He wouldn't underestimate her, though. That it had required a whole month to bring her to what amounted to the starting point was a testament to how strong willed she actually was. The remaining eleven months were not going to cut it; not with only two sessions a week.
He needed to corner her into asking for more time under him without revealing himself. He would have to pull a few string and ask for a few favors, but he was confident he could make it.
Smiling to myself he began plotting his next few moves.
-xXx-
Rin stumbled home later that evening, all cleaned up outside, but feeling incredibly soiled inside. Her body was still shaking and her mind still a bit fuzzy.
That hadn't gone well at all.
Admittedly, she had been more than a little naïve. She went to Gerard a month earlier believing that she knew what she was getting into and she had focused her worries on the Contract and on Gerard's Magecraft, rather than on Gerard's skills as a lover.
She thought that a self-absorbed person like him couldn't actually know anything about how to please a woman. She was certain that he would have only scratched off an itch with her, that the only thing she 'd have to worry about from him would be his Magecraft.
She cursed herself for taking things for granted. All the more so now, almost an hour after she had left his Workshop, as her traitorous body still tingled pleasantly from the orgasmic shockwave he unleashed upon her.
'I'm so despicable,' she thought. She wanted to hate a lot of things, Gerard above all, but she really couldn't. Rin wasn't very honest about herself, even with herself, but if guilt was something so easily warded off it wouldn't be so troubling.
Gerard, while merciless during the act was nothing short than courteous and accommodating in any other circumstances and never really pushed to the point of saying no, even though she had forfeited the ability of refusing him anything.
Now she wished he had belittled and humiliated her, so that she could direct her anger at him, but instead he treated her like an esteemed colleague, perhaps even as a friend, while driving her to madness under the sheets.
He was still an asshole, sure, but not one she could truly hate; not in the same way she currently hated herself.
"Rin, are you alright?" Saber asked, seeing her at the door looking tired and disheveled. Her concern was like a knife into Rin's heart. She mustered a smile, though she didn't pretend to be fine.
"I'm just tired Saber. It's been a very hard day."
The Servant stepped closer. "Your face is flushed," she observed, "and you are sweating. Rin you…"
Rin's heart fell into her stomach.
"… must have a fever. Come lay down on the bed."
"Ah! Yes!" she promptly answered, relief flooding through her. For a moment she believe Saber had figured it out.
"I'll prepare some white rice for you. Just change into your pajama and lay down."
She obeyed immediately, slipping out of her clothes for the second time that day.
It wasn't good. Even though she had taken a long cold shower already her body was still burning from Gerard's touch. It was so ridiculous that it was almost crazy. He brought her to one of the most satisfying orgasms of her life, rivaled only by those he gave her before that, and her body wasn't yet sated. If anything it was like her body was asking for more, as it showed form the revealing patch of wetness between her legs.
'Is this all I amount to?'
Pushing her grim thoughts aside, she changed her underwear as well and slipped under the protection of the bed covers, wishing it all away with all the willpower that only a Magus could muster.
It didn't leave, but at lease she was able to put it in the back of her mind.
Saber gentleness in taking care of her alleged fever that evening somehow managed to make Rin smile genuinely again.
Yes, it was difficult in a way she hadn't expected and it was probably going to get worse, but she would make it. Only eleven more months and this would be all beyond her. Her love for Saber and Shirou, as well as her pride, would see her through.
Some people just won't learn their lessons the first time around.
-xXx-
Saber was worried for Rin.
There was something amiss with her, that much was obvious, more so than usual. In the months after Shirou's escape she had run herself ragged to fix her mistake. She had taken more courses, more projects and worked harder to make ends meet.
She indebted herself financially with several important figures to buy jewels for her craft, achieving brilliant results that forced many of her detractors to hold their tongues in the face of her accomplishments, all for the sake of helping Shirou out of the trouble they had put him into.
They, yes, for Saber herself was not without guilt.
Shirou had been reluctant in going along with Rin's idea of showing his skills. He was acutely aware of the nature of his abilities and was under no delusion as of his fate if they were to be exposed. While he was often helpful to the point of being reckless he wasn't suicidal as his behavior could suggest at times, not without a life at stake, at least.
It was Saber who gave him the final push.
She wanted him to take pride in himself and his own skills, something that he dearly lacked. Not that being humble was wrong, per se, but she wanted him to value himself more for his own good. What a joke.
She was aware of the risks, but she also knew that there is no gain without them. Shirou was unconvinced but went along with it for their sake.
And they lost him because of that.
There hadn't been a chance for a goodbye. They never even saw the Sealing Designation coming, finding it out only after the hunt for Shirou was called out publically. To this day no one knew how Shirou had known beforehand, for he hadn't so much as run as he just disappeared without a word.
The only thing that the Enforcers had been able to put together was that Shirou had stashed enough money and survival gear in a secret location to disappear at a moment notice. Unbeknownst to Rin and Saber until then, the journals found in his Workshop were written in a way that it made apparent to the readers that his research into Unlimited Blade Works was done without Rin's knowledge or approval.
It was because of that they survived the ordeal unscathed.
Well, that and the fact that Saber could negate all of their spells, slay their Enforces by droves and possibly collapse the Clock Tower from inside with her Noble Phantasm. That is not to say they wouldn't have eventually overwhelmed her, but with Shirou's journal exonerating them the direction wasn't about to waste people and money on them.
But that was beside the point. The point was that Shirou had been looking out for them all along, considering himself a liability to the point that he was ready to escape at anytime, going as far as to create in advance a credible story that would keep them out of any trouble related to him
The sheer magnitude of their own arrogance wasn't lost on them.
Rin had promised Archer and to herself that she would save Shirou while Saber was sworn from the very first day of their meeting to be his sword and shield.
They had both failed it so much there was no way to describe it.
In the end he was him who saved them from their own actions. Surely there weren't enough words in the languages of men to curse their folly.
But that what worried Saber now was something else entirely. Rin had changed. She had been tired for a long time because of the prolonged strain of maintaining a Heroic Spirit while overworking physically, mentally and magically.
She still looked tired and stressed, but she was no longer worn out. It was a good thing, Saber supposed, but Rin hadn't changed her habits as far as she knew so she couldn't help but wonder what was given up in exchange of her improvement.
Rin hadn't mentioned anything specific, which was telling. If someone as proud as her didn't at the very least discuss an improvement then it was achieved by meaning Saber wouldn't have approved of.
She didn't know what to do. Confronting Rin about it would be futile. The young woman knew how to keep her secret and Saber didn't want to make her feel like she had to watch her back from her Servant. On the other hand she knew she had to intervene somehow.
Perhaps she was being too hasty. For the time being she would only observe. If anything changed in a way she didn't like she would take steps to correct it.
She had already failed Shirou. She would not fail Rin as well.
She would do anything to preserve at least that oath.
Anything at all.
-xXx-
A few days later
"Alright. Today we are going to try something different," Gerard said.
When she returned to Gerard's Workshop for the second appointment of that week, she was more than a little anxious. The last time had been... shocking, for a lack of better words. So much that when Gerard said that she almost felt sick to her stomach.
"Like what?" she asked, perfectly masking her apprehension.
He unbuttoned his pants and extracted his member, already fully erect. Rin almost froze at the sight of it. It wasn't like she hadn't seen it yet, but every time it came out they went through a progression of making out and getting naked. She always avoided looking directly at it, but now Gerard had whipped it out without any forewarning when they were still clothed.
Rin didn't know exactly how to behave. Acting upset at this point over something like that would have only made her look like a fool. Not know what to do made her feel a thousand times more embarrassed than normal and her face became red in response..
The feelings that rod of meat subjected her to were nothing short of delirious. Just thinking about those moments... No! Thinking about the other day was not a good idea.
"So?" he asked.
"W-what?" had she been staring at it so much that she had zoned out?
"I said... suck me off."
"Suck.. Oh! You mean a blowjob? Right! Right away," she almost laughed and got to her knees in front of him with haste.
From up close his thing looked even bigger. Hard and meaty and covered it veins. It was almost grotesque, so much unlike Shirou's very firm but slender member.
She almost couldn't believe that something that big like that had fit inside her, stirring her pussy so much that she couldn't think anymore and-
She forced herself to move away from the memory, opening her mouth and slipping out her tongue. It wasn't the first time for her to do something like this. While she was not particularly fond of the act, she sometimes did it with Shirou so she wasn't exactly new to it.
The taste was musky, muskier than Shirou, but not in an unpleasant way. Gerard's breath skipped for a moment at the contact with her tongue.
This was the thing that held power over her for a month. That she was now able to exercise her dominance over it in turn gave her a giddy feeling. She felt her lips turning up into a smile.
It was revenge, so she could enjoy it without guilt or shame, she told herself. She looked up at Gerard, who was looking down at her. With a coy smile she stroked his wetted cock a couple of time before opening her mouth fully and taking it inside herself. She bobbed her head up and down over his member, taking as much of it as she could without chocking or vomiting.
"Slrrp... slrrp... slrrp... slrrp..."
On and on she went, never breaking eye contact with him, utterly enjoying the way his expression morphed, feeling confident in the way she could make him squirm with just her mouth.
'That's what you get for messing with me,' she told herself, setting off to suck him dry. She took hold of his scrotum and begun knead his balls gently. 'Shirou always loved when I did this. How do you like it, uh?'
Apparently Gerard liked it very much.
"I about to cum," he said with a groan. "Drink it all up. That's your half of Mana for today."
Rin eyes widened. About to cum? Into her mouth? Swallow it? What had she been doing?
She had completely forgotten about the morality of the act, regardless of how it compared to the other things they did. She had eagerly dropped to her knees and sucked him off at the best of her ability. Only then she realized how it must have looked to Gerard's, but it was too late to complain. More importantly she had to swallow the bitter pill, both figuratively and literally, because otherwise not only she'd look like a whore anyway but she wouldn't get anything out of it too.
He came right at the entrance of her throat but there was so much of it that she couldn't just swallow it in a single gulp. Her cheeks inflated from the dense fluid that filled her mouth. The salty and bitter taste flooded her tongue and she had to force herself not to spit it out or vomit.
Slowly, with tears in her eyes she swallowed his seed with two consecutive gulps, opening her mouth and exhaling in relief when she was finally done, breathing heavily.
"I... I didn't enjoy that!" she shrieked with her face flushed.
"O-kay...?" Gerard stuttered at her outburst. "I don't really care, you know. I know I liked it. I won't judge you if-"
"It's not like that!" she all but shouted.
"Okay," he held up his hands, "whatever you say. Calm down. Look, I'm even going to let you pick what we are doing next. We can either have sex like yesterday or we can have another round at this."
"I..." Rin was stumped. Now of all times he asks her to pick? And between something that she just said she didn't like and something she didn't want to do two days in a row? "I'll suck you off again."
No matter her choice she'd only end up losing, so she picked the one who served her better in the long run. With his hard member still in front of her face, Rin opened her mouth once more and took him into her again, this time pointedly avoiding looking at him.
However, because it was the second time and she didn't have nearly as much enthusiasm as before it took her a long time to finish him off.
-xXx-
She returned home after storming off, slamming the door of Gerard's Workshop behind her. Thankfully Saber wasn't home. She had taken a small job as a waitress in one of the pubs in London and wouldn't be back until later.
Rin didn't exactly know who to be angry with. Herself, certainly; Gerard, possibly.
She couldn't believe the way she had messed up. She acted like a whore, even if her feelings weren't what an onlooker could have thought she-
Or was it? Circumstances notwithstanding, hadn't she enjoyed sucking Gerard off for a reason or another?
She couldn't think like that. She didn't want to. And more importantly she didn't want to think of the wetness that had yet again soaked her panties.
A shower would wash away everything and if that wasn't enough a dozen would do.
But there wasn't enough water in the world to cleanse her, no matter what she did.
AN: I want to make a point clear. This story isn't about humiliating Shirou and it won't take that road. I think the guy doesn't get enough credit, being often depicted as an idiot. In this chapter I wanted to make him look a bit better, as he was able to see the Sealing Designation coming, having made plans in advance to disappear while protecting Rin and Saber.
Well, as usual, reviews are welcome. I wouldn't dare say expected, but I would really appreciate opinions that aren't "Your story sucks, you suck, fuck you!" though everything adds to the reviews count and thus to the visibility of this story, so curse away. :)