She Couldn't Tell Him

Chapter 1: Bad Wolf Bay

She couldn't tell him. Not when he was saying goodbye. That the baby she mentioned was hers; was his. She just couldn't, she could already feel his hearts breaking right with hers. To tell him there would be someone else he would be leaving behind would only break him more. Instead she told him what she had wanted to say for so long.

"I love you." Rose stated through her tears. It was so simple, like they both already knew and she just had to say it. Had to be sure the words were said if only once before she would never see him again. He knew she had, of course but her words made him smile.

"Quite right." He replied with his usual phrase. It was bitter sweet but his eyes were gentle with love.

"And if it's my last chance to say it… Rose Tyler-" he started and then he was gone. She cried harder now that he was gone. He would never say the words and she would never hear them but worst of all, he was gone. He was her everything, he made her who she was; he had made her brave and taught her to be smart, but most of all she had felt love with him. That all-encompassing love you see in movies or read in books that makes you absolutely glow with happiness. A high so rarely reached there was nothing to compare it to.

It wasn't just the traveling or the wonders of the universe though, if at all, it was him. When he would smile in the face of danger, she would too, because with him she was safe. She could do anything because he would catch her. His rambling was cute, his cheerfulness infectious, and his anger, protective. She could feel his pain when he hurt, when he couldn't save everyone. Now though… he would be alone… and that just broke her all the more.

This piece of him though that was growing within her. She swore this one little piece of him would never be alone. She almost got sucked into the void, trying to keep that very promise to him; that she would never leave him. Now though that she couldn't keep that promise this one little piece of him; she would protect. Their baby would never be alone. And one day if she was very lucky she'd find a way back to him. She wouldn't give up, no matter how long it took, he was her Doctor and she was his, forever.

Months passed and when she started to show she never told anyone that the baby was his, not even her mum. Though she was sure they all suspected, she would never say it, never say the words; until she told him. Rose knew perfectly well what would happen to a child who was related to the Doctor, they would take her baby away and she would have failed. So she made up a story of a random guy in a bar to anyone that asked that she only knew his name was John. She figured it was close enough, the Doctor had used the name John Smith before, and no one would ever guess the connection.

By the time the baby was born she still hadn't picked a name, part of her was hoping he would show up in time to help her pick. When she held her son for the first time and took in every part of him Rose knew he was perfect. The newborn had the ginger hair his father had longed for and the beautiful blue eyes that his mother had love from his father's previous regeneration. The shape of his eyes and the tiny golden flecks in them though came from his mother. Rose didn't realize they came from her until Mickey pointed it out in her own eyes, she never knew she had the golden flecks as she didn't often study her own eyes. She had never even noticed and for some reason it reminded her of singing and… Satellite 5. She didn't bother dwelling on it though.

Her boy was beautiful, and she cried silently wishing the man she loves could be there to see his son. To share her joy of this precious new life. Though she couldn't help but giggle as she thought of how he'd be jealous of the baby's soft ginger hair. She knew his jealously would quickly turn to pride though faster than she could blink. The tiny boy's eyes drift closed and she held him tight, he was the perfect memento of the time when she and her Doctor were together…

Then she had it; one of the last things her Doctor said to her, Rose Tyler defender of the Earth. He was such a smart-aleck. Their son would be called Alec; for defender of the people and because his father was a smart ass, but she'd wait a while to tell him that. After all she would be plenty proud if he grew to be just like his father. And that is why his middle name will be Jayson, a healer. Just like the Doctor.

Alec Jayson Tyler.