6A/N: I don't know if this is a real thing. If it is, I don't own it. However, I do own Harry Potter and am making tons of money off of this fic. *ninja army of lawyers surround me* Ok, ok, I'm kidding! Sheesh, some people have no sense of humor... ANYWAY! Please review if you like. Review if you hate too. :P Onward...
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"Come on Draco", said Astoria impatiently, pulling him along. He stumbled after her up the stairs, wishing he could just go back to the Room of Requirement to work on the Cabinet. He needed to get it done, or his Lord would move up from simply torturing him and his family. Suddenly, in an extremely cliche flash of light, the world around him disappeared.
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Draco sat up, blinking as the blinding(and still cliche, but the author was desperate) light about him faded. He shook his head to clear it and as he looked up, a building caught his eye that wouldn't usually, if not for the sign on it that bore his name. Annual Draco Malfoy Shipping Convention, the sign read. How odd... Luckily for the author, Astoria was nowhere to be seen, because it would have been hard to maneuvre two characters on her first fanfiction, especially with the plot she had planned. Getting to his feet, he opened the doors and walked into a room packed with Muggles. He slipped on Malfoy mask # 12:Thinly veiled distaste. As he scanned the room, his carefully established mask fell away, to be replaced by utter horror.
All the Muggles were swarming aroundsix points in the room, the points being occupied by...himself? No, no, it must be an imposter, under Polyjuice, he thought frantically, because there was no way he would ever, ever, we're talking not-even-if-we-were-the-last-two-people-on-earth-and-I-got-butterflies-in-my-tummy-whenever-I-look-at-her never(A/N:Starkid forever!), would he ever hug Hermione Granger. As his gaze whipped around the room, his heart sank lower and lower. There was another him staring longingly at an apple of all things, another him declaring his love to-he shuddered- eurgh, Potter, he was holding hands with that mad Lovegood girl, another him was, thankfully, alone but seemed to be a girl, and worst of all, as he looked around desperately for some bit of normalcy, he was kissing a Weasley! He groaned and put his head in his hands. For once, he was fervently hoping that his father would not hear about this.
Suddenly, he felt a touch on his arm. "Excuse me, where did you get your costume? I had to make mine", came a voice. Startled, he looked up to find a Muggle next to him, staring at him kindly and curiously. He jerked his arm away from her, only to find that she'd taken ahold of his robes and was inspecting them and his badge thoroughly. "My name's something for me to know and you to find out, but this summer you can call me Luna."
"Let go of me, you filthy Muggle!" he hissed. At that her eyes flashed dangerously behind blue-rimmed spectacles.
"I'll have you know, my letter was simply mixed up with the rejection letter reserved for mistakes, and they just haven't noticed yet," she said, daring him to contradict her. She let go of his tie but moved to stand in front of him, blocking his escape. "And you're one to talk, seeing as there are hundreds of stories saying that your precious Pureblooded ancestry is fake and you're secretly a Veela. Then again, there are plenty with Hermione being your sister, or Blaise's. He seems nice, it's a pity the books don't pay enough attention to him. But anyway"she sighed"I ramble. Who do you ship? Personally, I don't see much in the Drapple universe myself, although don't let them hear you say it-" she inclined her head toward his doppleganger with the apple "-they'll likely rip you apart."
"Excuse me, but what are you talking about?" he asked. "What is this 'Drapple', and for that matter, what are ships?"
She laughed, thinking he was joking, but quickly saw that he was serious-or as she thought of it, sirius. In her opinion, Harry Potter was a language, a lifestyle, a religion, a diet sometimes, the thing that gave her life meaning, and a wesome. "Wow, where have you been your whole life?"she asked. "With your lack of electronic knowledge, one would think you'd lived in Hogwarts for real!"
"But I did", he said, so confused by this point that he forgot to call this "Luna" a Muggle. Not that he'd ever admit it though. He had a reputation to consider!
She fell silent, staring at him. If he hadn't been a Malfoy, he'd have shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. But he was, so he didn't. Instead he took a look at her appearance, noting her brown eyes behind the aforementioned spectacles, her light brown shoulder-length hair with one thin sloppy braid at the front right, her black robes that were messily made, and her badge made of tinfoil, cardboard and marker. He was pleased to note that her badge was Slytherin. When he pointed this out, she said that "Gryffindors were likeliest to die, she couldn't keep a secret and therefore be a Hufflepuff, Ravenclaws were boring and you couldn't become Minister for Magic without ambition." Very true, he thought. He had thought that he'd never meet someone with the same views as him.
She finally stopped staring at him and said, "I suppose the shock's gotten to me. That's the only possible reason why I'm not shrieking with joy because I met Draco Malfoy, the bane of Harry's Hogwarts existence, and, according to them" she pointed at the people clustered around the him by Potter "his secret crush. I really don't know what they're going on about."
Draco spluttered at the "secret crush" comment. Satisfied that she could rattle the unrattleable, the Draco Malfoy, she grabbed his hand and pulled him over to a deserted room. "Excuse me for a moment", she said, then added, "You should probably cover your ears." He stared at her, uncomprehending, and when the words' meaning finally got to him, it was too late. He raised his hands to his ears slowly a second after she started screaming and jumping around in circles, gibbering to herself."EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEIjustmethimEEEEEEEEEEEETheMalfoyIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEsoexcitedEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She stopped after about an hour by his reckoning, although it had only been half a minute, and said,"Ok, I think I've gotten the fangirling out of my system now. Sooo...Let's start over!"she said cheerfully, as if she hadn't almost made Draco deaf. She stuck out her hand and said,"Luna Someone-whose-surname-you-aren't-about-to-find-out, at your service."
"Erm...Draco Malfoy, at yours, I suppose", he said doubtfully. They shook hands, and Draco dropped mine quickly, as though it had burned him. Oops...The author realised that she had revealed who Luna is, and proceeded to get on with the story.
It took a while, but she finally explained to Draco what shipping was and that this was a meeting of every "shipper" of the five couples. "But what about the me who is alone?"he asked.
"OH, she's only the greatest portrayer of you to ever exist! Meaning no offense to Tom Felton, but she's amazingly funny! Lauren Lopez, actress for Draco Malfoy in the Very Potter Musicals. And speaking of alternate HP realities..."here she tugged on his arm yet again, taking no notice of how far his jaw dropped at his being played by a girl"...this is my chance! They said they could only let in themselves or some such twaddle. It's all a load of hippogriff poo, but anyway, here we are!" They'd stopped in front of the Draco who was now making out with the Mudblood, and Luna had to cough several times before he noticed her.
"You again? I told you, only I and whoever I choose to bring with me can dimension-skip. Now, go away..." His voice trailed off as he noticed who was next to her. "OH! Well, that's a different matter. Well, come on then!" He produced a small jacknife and Luna gasped.
"I knew it!"she said excitedly. "You're from Jacknifed! That's one of my favourite Dramione stories!" She grabbed hold of the knife and turned to Draco-the real one.
"Grab hold, it's an Interdimensional Portkey," informed the fake Draco, who the real one decided to call the King of Hearts because his name backwards was Ocard, which had card in it, and the other one seemed sappy eough to be the King of Hearts. To his face, he would be referred to as Lewis, for the writer of Alice in Wonderland. He had no idea why his mind worked in this odd, jumpy way, it just did. He touched his finger to the knife and felt the normal jerking around his midriff, while Luna gasped-she'd never traveled by Portkey before. The world around them swirled into blackness, and then he opened his eyes to a deserted classroom.
A/N: SO, how'd you like it? Note: I don't own Alice in Wonderland, however much the junior musical's songs are stuck in my head, and the same goes for AVPM, Dramione, Drinny...basically everything here except for me(who is Luna). I don't even own my own name! PLEASE REVIEW! Reviews are to an author what chocolate is to a Dementor victim. You don't want me to become depressed, always reliving my darkest memories, do you? That's what I thought. So, please save this victim and send me lots of chocolate and reviews! I will give the first reviewer a chocolate-chip cookie! :D So, review! Potterhead OUT! :D