1Nick Fury gazed at The Avengers lounging around in Avengers Tower one month after the defeat of the Chitari. "SO, we have repaired the helicarrier, but we and the public need a boost of morale. You all have been off mission for a while."
"Unless you count developing new blueprints for the helicarrier." Stark added.
"Or looking ad data Loki gathered from the tesseract." Banner mentioned.
"Or teaching junior agents how to fight." Natasha added.
"Or shoot." Clint piped in.
"Or draw pictures of The Avengers eating shwarma for that restaurant – uh –" Steve Rogers added before Fury cleared his throat.
"Ok, ok, I get it. But Marie – ahem – Agent Hill thought it would be nice for the agents to see you all working together at SHIELD and we would take some pictures and 'leak' them to the public. And since we have gotten behind on paper-work –"
"Dude – office drones? Really?" Tony Stark yelped aghast. "I had a desk job since I was five years old! Dad had me stuffing envelopes for two hours after school every other day!"
"Did you get anything for it?" Clint asked curiously.
"I would get two quarters when I helped my dad mow the yard." Steve Rogers reminisced.
"Ok, I got twenty bucks an hour."
"WHAT? You were loaded even as a five year old!" Clint yelped.
"Well – yeah. I always bought my friends and I the cool toys when we'd get to go to the store together, but really, Fury?"
"M – Agent Hill really wants me – I mean – us to try this." Fury said with a pleading look in his eye.
"Will she deck you if you tell her no?" Stark asked knowingly thinking about doing favors for Pepper.
"Yeah." Fury mumbled.
"Ok." The Avengers replied in unison.
"Hey, Fury!" Stark called as Fury went to leave the living room of the Avengers Tower. "We get Shwarma on our lunch break, right? Order in, on SHIELD's dime?" Fury sighed.
"Deal, Mr. Stark." Tony and Clint high-fived. "Jarvis, as Director of Shield, please make sure these people get to SHIELD headquarters by 9am sharp."
"Yes, Director." Jarvis answered.
"Hey Jarvis!" Stark called.
"Your kitchen attendant robot will ensure you have extra espresso in your favorite Iron Man mug, sir!"
True to their word, the Avengers found themselves reporting to the SHIELD headquarters at 9am the next day. "Do all midigardians work in outfits such as these?" Thor asked tugging on his tight fitting SHIELD uniform with one hand and gripping his hammer with the other. The other Avengers were similarly dressed. However, Thor still wore his armored vest and cape over the SHIELD uniform.
"Depends on the job." Banner muttered.
"These uniforms are – um – replaceable, right?"
"You did take a stabilizer, didn't you?" Natasha asked poking Banner in the arm with only the slightest hint of firmness.
"Yes." Banner muttered before Fury greeted them.
"Greetings, Avengers."
"Oh! Good, you're here!" Agent Hill, deputy director of SHIELD said enthusiastically as she approached the group. "Nick – I mean – Director Fury said you all agreed to come last night. Well, we'll have you all catching up on some administrative work, nothing too challenging. I'll lead you to the administrative offices. Nicky – I mean – Fury – told me what your strengths are." She paused as they approached an ordinary looking office with cubicles as work stations. The SHIELD logo was painted on the wall, and the only sign that this was a secret government agency were the key codes next to the computers to open a workstation and the files labeled CONFIDENTIAL that were in padlocked briefcases on many desks. After a brief orientation, the Avengers began their day of administrative duties.
"Maintaining the internal SHIELD website?" Banner asked from his cube that was one over from Stark's.
"Yeah. Just answered some guy's email that he couldn't access the employee portal to check his PTO."
"Oh, how are we to sign the emails?" Banner asked.
"I'm signing mine, Iron Man, of course!" Stark said as he gulped down his coffee. "Where did Hill say the coffee machine was?"
"You just got here." Banner replied before turning to his work of fixing a spreadsheet with various calculations. "Hey wait, I might need a second round too."
"Sooo – you only used a typewriter, right?" Natasha asked Steve as he sat at a table piled high with stacks of paper. He was to review and label old paper files so they could be scanned onto the servers later.
"Yes, ma'am." Steve replied ignoring Natasha sigh and eye-roll. "You're going to find one, I assume?"
"I found one already." Natasha said lifting a black case onto the table. "Can you use an electric one? It's all they had."
"I'll give it my best." Steve insisted on setting up the typewriter at his table himself. "I'll use it to label these folders. Thanks, Natasha."
"Brucie, how's it going?" Natasha asked putting a hand on Banner's shoulders.
"Eh, decent." He muttered. "What do you do?"
"I'm just translating documents. Oh, and routing calls. Clint's writing new procedures for the training areas, and Thor is – um –" The Avengers collectively cringed at the sound of breaking glass and Natasha glanced over at Banner who looked up cautiously from his work. A second later, he shook his head in exasperation as Thor came out of the break room armed with snacks.
"Lady Romanoff, I found the room of break and I brought you a box of Pop of Tart."
"Thanks." Natasha said. "Were these from the vending machine?"
"I no not of this machine, all I know is that the Pop of Tart along with other colorful treats were trapped in a glass case. I did not know the code to obtain these snacks, so I used Miljner to bring forth these snacks for my friends."
"Oh man – Thor! Dude! You broke the vending machine? It's like 9:30 am. We just got here!" Clint yelped. "Oh, and hand me a Snickers, man."
"And I'm not paying for another. SHIELD can use other people's tax dollars. And I call dibs on the Doritos." Tony remarked.
"Technically you're in the highest tax bracket –" Banner pointed out before Thor handed him a package of beef jerky. "Thanks, man."
"Loopholes. Dear old dad taught me all the loopholes."
"You should consider it an honor to support your country and its military." Steve piped up from his table.
"Shut up, Spangles. You're still using a typewriter over there!"
"So?" Steve asked confused.
"Never mind." Tony grumbled before solving another IT problem.
"Thor Odinson." Natasha said after Thor handed her a box of Pop Tarts.
"Yes, my lady?"
"What did Agent Hill ask you to do?"
"Lady Hill wished for me to use the Midigardian device known as a PC to type these hand scribed notes." He paused. "Lady Hill wished for Friend Barton to help me use this device." Clint groaned before coming over to Thor's workstation.
"Ok, the Word Document is open." Clint said after a few clicks of the mouse.
"There are no words on this page." Thor replied confused ignoring Clint's sigh.
"Yet. You type these letters." Thor looked at the keyboard. "Letters, delete button, and don't touch the ones up here."
"F1, F2 and so on?" Thor asked.
"Yes." Clint said emphatically.
"Why, Friend Barton?" Thor asked.
"Because you'll need to interrupt me to ask for help." Barton watched as Thor painstakingly typed a hand written note. Hunting and pecking, he began typing: Dear Director Fury.
"Oh, these are letters to Lord Fury!" Thor exclaimed.
"Uhhuh. Just do what you're doing, Point Break." Stark muttered.
The next hour or so passed uneventfully until Clint heard angry muttering in Russian. "Um – Nat –" Suddenly Natasha yelled something and put her fist through the computer monitor."
"Um – Tony, any chance of fixing that?" Steve asked from his table.
"Just get the monitor next to you, Natashalie." Stark suggested.
"How are we doing in here?" Agent Hill asked once Natasha swapped her monitors.
"Good, Lady Hill!" Thor announced.
"We're fine." Stark said waving her off before she noticed Natasha's broken monitor or before she went into the break room.
"I'll be back in an hour to take some photos of everyone!"
As promised, Agent Hill was back to take pictures of the Avengers working. Natasha grinned at Agent Hill as she routed a call to another employee of SHIELD. As soon as that call was routed, the phone rang on Thor's desk. "Why does this device make this ringing sound?" Thor boomed before gripping the receiver in his massive Asgardian hand. "Speak, Midgardian, for I am Thor Odinson of SHIELD!" He boomed into the receiver.
"Oh, this is good." Agent Hill snickered as she switched her camera to Video mode.
"Dude, Point Break – you answered the phone?" Tony yelped quickly come over to Thor's desk.
"Yes, I observed everyone else in this room making use of these devices." Thor paused and pressed the receiver against his ear. "You wish to speak to Phil son of Coul? I shall summon him." Thor set the receiver down and opened the door to the office. To his relief, he saw Phil's office door ajar with a sign proclaiming: Back from Tahiti: A magical place. "PHIL SON OF COUL! AGENT FITZ WISHES TO SPEAK TO YOU!" He paused. "YOU MUST COME TO MY DESK AND USE THE MIDGARDIAN DEVICE TO SPEAK TO HIM!"
"Thor, buddy, move." Clint said elbowing the demigod in the ribs. Poking his head into the hallway, he looked at Phil Coulson who was staring at the Avenger with a puzzled look. "Phil, he's on Line One. I'll put Thor's phone on hold for ya."
"Ok, gang, we have round one of photos! Thanks, everyone! Nick – I mean – Director Fury will be happy!" Agent Hill said turning to leave the room with a spring in her step.
"Yo, Hill!" Tony called. "Can we order shwarma now? Ask your Nicky to put it on the SHIELD credit card!"
Soon the Avengers were in the lobby of SHIELD enjoying their shwarma and waving at the agents who were passing by. Natasha and Bruce were cuddled next to each other taking turns feeding their meals to each other and giggling. Thor had crammed the first two orders of shwarma into his mouth and was munching on the third.
After lunch, The Avengers were back in their office. Thankfully, Stark fixed the monitor that Natasha broke before Hill noticed, but they decided to close the door to the break room as they raided all the snacks from broken vending machine by 10:00 am. Steve composed an apology letter on his typewriter that he made Thor sign. Said letter was on the table in the break room.
All was quiet until 4pm when The Avengers jumped at the sound of an angry roar. Tony swore loudly as pieces of the copier flew through the hole in the wall. Natasha sighed. "I'll take care of it." She muttered as a green fist punched more holes in the wall separating the copy room from the rest of the office.
"Hulk want double side copy!" Natasha sighed staring at her Hulked out boyfriend.
"Sun's getting low - it's getting too late to make copies -" Natasha said firmly touching the Hulk's arm.
"Hulk want -" Hulk's face grimaced before he looked down at the shreds of his SHILED issued uniform. Slowly, he picked up a piece of the destroyed $20,000 copier. "Oh -" As he transformed back into Bruce Banner, he grabbed a ream of legal paper to hide his assets.
"Should we get him a new uniform?" Clint asked. The Avengers looked around noticing that it was 5pm. "Meh, he should be fine."
The team collectively gulped as Agent Maria Hill walked into the office. "Well, how is my favorite team - " Marie Hill stopped dead in her tracks and looked around at the trashed office with the hastily repaired monitor, broken walls, and ruins of the destroyed copier scattered on the floor.
"Lady Hill, I request you replenish this box with tasty snacks." Thor said as he dragged the broken vending machine from the break room and into the middle of the room.
"WHAT THE HECK!" Nick Fury yelled storming into the ruined office.
"This was YOUR idea, Nicholas L. Fury!" Maria yelled.
"I – well – I thought – I thought they would at least be normal for a day!" Nick Fury sputtered.
"Hah. We're not normal. We're the Avengers." Tony Stark said grinning.