AUTHORS NOTE: this kept bugging me and I had to get it out of my head. Please be kind in your reviews I've never published anything before.DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING!

1 week after Jamie left

I look at down at the test. Praying for I don't know what. A little pink positive plus appears. Shit. There is no way I can raise a baby on my own. And there is no way in hell will I tell Jamie. He decided that the problems are mine. I looked at my stomach in the mirror all of the sudden something snapped then right there I made a vow that I will have this baby and I will not be on of those half ass parents. I can do better than that.

5 years after TL5Y

NEW AND RECOMMENDED: His Muse by Jamie Wellerstein read the sign. It's been five years since Jamie left. I stand in a Target looking at the cover of his new book. It still hurts to think he's not in my life anymore but I've accepted it. "Mommy, can I have this book?" I look down at a little replica of Jamie holding a picture book of dinosaurs. "Sure TJ," I say. TJ is the only thing that kept me going after Jamie left, he gave me hope that I could get better and I will be happy one day. I sometimes feel bad about not telling Jamie about TJ but then I just saw a interview saying he was very happy with single life and think I made the right decision. "Come on TJ, let's go home," I say. After we go back to our apartment TJ comes up to me looking like he is having an internal battle, "mommy," he says, "can we go to the park before dinner?" I look at the clock seeing it's only 3:30. I smile at him "Yea, let's change first." I said. As I change into Jean shorts and a pale purple shirt, I think about how lucky I am TJ is a good kid, he doesn't cry or ask for much. TJ comes running into my room "Is this alright mommy?" He's wearing a jean shorts and a T-shirt saying 'I'm mommy's superhero' I look at him and nod. As we walk to the park he looks up at me and asks the question I've been avoiding since he could form sentences. "Mom where's my daddy?" I reply in a careful tone "He's out there in the world changing lives. That's why he gave me you because he knew that you would change my life. It's was really boring before now it's amazing." He smiled at me and nods, satisfied with my answer. I smile back but internally I'm having a panic attack. We get to the playground he looks at me for approval to go play I smile and nod then he takes off running to the slide. I sit on a bench and watch him while he runs around with the other kids that are there. "Cathy?" I freeze. I know that voice but I'm hoping I'm wrong, I turn and of course I'm right. There stands Jamie looking almost the same as he did the last time she saw him outside of his lawyers office five years ago. "Jamie, hi." He comes over and gives me an awkward hug. "What are you doing here?" I ask. Jamie replies, "Well I'm just taking a short cut to my place, how are you?" I smile and say "I'm good." All the sudden TJ came running up to me "Mom, can I go swing?" I did a quick glance at Jamie, who has shock written on his face, before turning my attention to TJ. "Of course sweetie I'll be there in a few minutes," I said. TJ went running towards the swings I composed my thoughts and faced Jamie. "Mom?" Jamie said, clearly lost. I smiled and said "Yup. That's TJ, my son." "The father?" Jamie asked nervously. I just sighed and said "out of the picture." That didn't satisfy Jamie. "Come on Cathy, how old is he?" I look towards TJ to make sure he was okay and said "he's five." Jamie's face was written in shock and he put his hand over his face and sat on the bench, looking like he was concentrating on something very hard. Then he looked me straight in the eye. "Is he my son?" He asked.