I honestly never really think about the consequences… maybe I should start, I guess should've started a long time ago, maybe Cross wouldn't have gotten aggressive, maybe I wouldn't have stopped having fun, or maybe I would have kept smiling like an idiot… the smile Kanda always said annoyed the hell out of him.
I think I might be crazy, missing BaKanda, but I'm just holding onto the past, I miss my friends, Cross said it had to be done, he just didn't know that it put me over the edge.
"Cross, I'm going to go to school!" I yell through the halls.
"the fuck should I care!?" A most likely hungover Cross screamed angrily.
'Good. He's fucking hammered AGAIN.' I thought, it really is just my luck. Maybe I just won't go today… just like yesterday… and they day before, and many times before.
I sigh, there was no point in my getting dressed anymore, I guess I'll just go hang out with some friends.
I walk out the door and get into Cross' car, turning the key to start the ignition.
I pull out and start driving down the street, I pass the school, the park, and then I go into the red light district part of Sacramento.
Many wave at me noticing the car I was in, cigarettes hanging lazily between their lips.
I take a few turns to get too my favorite bar, I'm only 15... But no one in the reds cares.
I park the car get out and lock it.
I walk in and the 'bouncer' waves at me and greets, "Hey Al' haven't seen you for a good bit of time." he says taking another drag of his pipe.
"Cross is being an ass as usual." I say walking in.
I'm halfway in the door before he says, "Stick with it kid." I nod slightly at the tip.
"Hey! Boy, wanna go a round?" Tyki comes and slings his arm around my shoulders. He was sickingly drunk, I kinda wish I was too, but it was my policy not to drink and end up like my good-for-nothing guardian.
"I gotta pass Tyk maybe when you're a little more, um… not drunk." I say patting him on the back.
"Aww~ okay, but you gotta promise~" he says pouting. I no and he walks away to snatch up his next victim.
I walk towards the poker table and some poor chap who I don't even know was kicked out of his seat when the waiter saw me walking towards them, he then bows as I sit down.
"hey big Al' almost got n replaced." Sheryl jokes.
"Yeah yeah like I give a bitchin' fuck." I say grabbing some cards and joining the game.
"I'm out of this round guys, Al's got some mad skills. Im just gonna watch." Devit says putting his hands up in surrender.
I smirk, "What Devit? Can't handle the heat?" I say.
"No im just not stupid, I know this is gonna turn into strip poker. And I don't gots no underwear on." he says sitting back.
"Good point." I say quickly shuffling some cards and dealing them out to each person swiftly. "Let's play fair a game, no holds bar." I smirk as some groan.
The game ends quickly with me the winner.
My phone rings as I get up and stretch, I ignore it as I see Tyki walking towards me.
"Hey babe, not drunk anymore." he purrs suggestively.
I smirk, fun time.
Honestly, I don't like doing all of this I miss the stuff I did with my friends but that's no more, and I believe that these flings are for the benefits of both parties, we'd both had very bad circumstances recently an got into this habit.
But about halfway through we were pretty far and my phone rang, I would've ignored it, but it was INSISTENT to keep ringing until my fun time was ruined.
I picked the phone up and answered very angrily, "The fuck do you want." I should've looked at the caller ID.
"You better drop the fucking attitude before I make you break it you son-of-a-bitch. Now listen you little pussy. Get the fuck over here, give me my goddamned car, we're fucking leaving." Cross. Shit.
"Yeah and where are we going?" I ask.
"Somewhere where you're going to get some fucking help. Im sick of you being the inconsistent bastard you are. And you don't have a fucking choice, im not going to fucking jail, they don't serve ale."
The line goes dead before I get out of shock.
I turn to Tyki, "Sorry, Cross says I gotta go." I say getting up and getting dressed.
He just puts his arm over his eyes and falls asleep.
I walk out of the bar ignoring many calls for me to come play a game, or just cat-calls.
I jump in the car and drive back to the house.
I walk in and a hand swiftly makes contact with my face making me fall backwards.
"That's for back talking me you little bitch." Cross says.
I decide to stay down, Cross likes feeling like he's a lot bigger, so I shouldn't speak and I shouldn't get up, nor should I make eye contact, he's like a monkey, he considers it a challenge.
"Anyway, get in the car we're going to the airport. Im not telling you where we're going. You cant pack, considering its all just fucking condoms and weed." Cross says walking out the door. I get up and follow after him putting my headphones in as we drive to the airport.
I listen to an online radio, and it turns oout Marina and the diamonds im not a robot. It's honestly my favorite song, I'd like to have the courage to say that to my guardian once in a while, real tough guy right?
"Guess what? I am not a robot! Guess what! I'm not a robot~"
This song lulls me to sleep. And it only feels like seconds before im roughly shaken out of sleep.
I get up an follow the man into the plane and I again fall into a blissful sleep.
I don't dream often but this time I had a dream of one of the times that Lenalee made me dress up in a dress. Kanda just smirked and Lavi was taking pictures to out up in the school. Everyone thought it was funny, no harm done, it was a bet anyway.
I bet Kanda I could eat more soba, I thought I could win, but the wasabi just tripped me up, and I lost.
I wake up with a happy feeling in my chest until I realize it was a dream. Oh well. I look next to me to find the seat empty. Cross abandoned me.
Shit. Was it even Cross I followed into the plane? Well that was probably the worst mistake ever.
I run through the plane and ask where we've landed. "Montana." the lady responds kindly.
Well shit. This is porbably the best luck I've ha in so long I could die happy there.
All my friends live in Montana, its only been a few years, but it still feels like forever, and I don't remember which city.
Come one think hard Allen, just sitting in the air port isn't going to do anything.
I wander for a bit curious if I should call Cross, but he does it instead. I'm about to get an earful.
"hey kid, hope you have fun in Montana, have fun getting back to Miles City. I hope you're grateful you little bitch." the line goes dead. Im shocked. Almost want to smile.
I hadn't smiled in so long for the reason I was torn from reality.
My reality, it lies in Miles City. And that's where I'm going to be.
I take a bus into wherever the hell I neeed to go, and then I decided to take rides from random people who thought I was lost, I said someone separated me from my guardian in Miles City and I needed to go back, some asked how it happened I would say I don't know, and I had to tell a few people this because a lot of them had to stop.
When I arrived in Miles, I immediately went to the school.
It was the same, so perfectly refined that it could bring a tear to my eye. But I think I've run out of tears.
"how old would they be now I wonder… Lena should be about the same age, if not 16. Kanda and Lavi should be about 16 or 17. Miranda should be the same age as me, and Krory should be in college now.
I don't even know if they still live here.. I might just be getting my hopes up about seeing them again.
I decide to start walking towards Bookman's house. Remembering so many good memories that happened in the very streets im walking upon now.
I remember Lavi and I playing ball here and kanda pulled us out of the streets before a truck came barreling down he streets. We just smiled and said lets do it again… Kanda called us stupid but we didn't care, we just wanted to have some fun.
Another time Lenalee told us to stop being so loud because it was really early in the morning and people had to work. We were screaming down the streets and naming stars after each other. We even had one for Kanda but it was egotistical bastard. He got mad, but it was fun.
Before I know it im on the steps of the large house, it hasn't changed much either.
I take a breath ready for disappointment. I knock on the door, and take a sharp intake of air.
When someone answers the door I almost pass out right there, letting go o the breath I'd been holding.
"Bookman? Would Lavi be around?" I ask still kind of shocked, same expression showing on his old features.
Im sure he was also shocked at how my look has changed.
He nods slowly and then yells, "Idiot grandson! The police are finally here to pick up your ass!" I smirk in amusement as I hide behind the door.
He comes running down the stairs, "I swear! I didnt do it! Whatever it is Kanda pressured me to do it-" he stops when he sees no one at the door. "Don't play with me like that old man, why is the door open anyway?" he says audibly calming.
"Because there really is someone to see you, but I dont know if you'll recognize them, im going to leave you two alone." he says walking away.
Theres silence before I turn into the doorway, leaving Lavi stunned.
"Hey Lav' long time no see." I say awkwardly.
His eyes fill with croc tears and run towards me yelling, "Allen~ Kanda's been so mean to me when you weren't here! Where have you been anyway?" he pulled away serious.
"I went to Sac. In Cali. I didn't know I would be able to see everyone again, but I did, and I'm really happy." I say. My mouth twitches a little, almost smiling.
"Then why don't you seem happy? What happened bud?" he asks concern filling his eye.
"I want to explain it to everyone if you don't mind, I don't want to have to explain every time someone wants to know." I say he nods and calls Kands and Lena to his house. I decide to collect my thoughts upstairs in his room.
Before it's my time, I hear two voices, one of concern and one of anger.
"Lavi? What's so important you had to call us at midnight." Lenalee asked concerned.
"The fuck Usagi?" Kanda asked gruffly.
"Well earlier I was pulled from my room saying the police were finally here to get me. They caught me guys im going to court." he says actually sounding scared, everything was quiet, except I was trying to conceal my laughter.
Lenalee expresses her concern and Kanda says he deserves it. Lenalee says, "You should've been better behaved!"
"Well, I agree but… I think you see should for yourself what was it that they wanted to give to me." you could here the smile on his face and it was my cue to come in.
I brace myself and walk downstairs. Shock evident on everyone's faces, besides Lavi of course.
Lenalee had tears in her eyes, and Kanda looked angry with me.
Kanda stood up and started very angrily, "You up and fucking leave and you have the nerve to come back? Nice try." he says storming out the door slamming it.
"Don't take it personally Al'." Lavi starts gaining a sad expression, Lenalee looks down too. "Honestly, he took it the hardest when you left, he completely shut down. Shut us out. He was personally offended when you left. I think he was just starting to get used to life without you. So, don't be mad at him." he says before realizing why they were there. "You were here to explain right? Explain?" I nod and sit down.
I grasp my hands together and look down.
"When I left it was sudden and I was really sad… I hated that I had to leave, but Cross said it was for the best so we left. And he got brutal… I decided to not be at the house as much as I could. I always had nightmares because I didn't have anyone there. So I got into a… very… very bad habit, a few actually. I don't want to tell you, but I have spent most of my time in bars, gaining even more bad habits."
My hands start trembling.
"I forgot how to smile… even now, when I'm here… I don't believe that the torture, self-inflicted or otherwise… is over." lenalee started crying and Lavi even had my hand in his. " I think that if I had a real guardian, I would have gone to a psychiatric hospital… well. Actually the only reason im here is because Cross said he was getting me help. He didn't say where we were going… I didn't ask. I honestly fell into a really bad habit. I just didn't care. I just realize that one actually, I guess I really was a tickin time bomb huh?" I finished. Everything was silent as avi and Lenale had both of my hands.
"ya'know, you coulda just called any of us, especially Kanda, he really acres no matter how much you think he doesn't. I think actually caught him almost crying, he was really offended. And hurt. We all were, but we openly cried to him, and he just sat there like a stone until he was alone. It must've been ahr for him especially." Lavi said, Lenalee nodding.
"You should go tell him what you told us." Lenalee tells me.
I think for a moment, "Maybe but… I still don't have a place to stay, I thought I'd mention that." I try to change the subject.
"You can just stay here… in the old room that we'd stay in when we were younger." Lavi offers. I nod.
"Look, I really think you need to go get Kanda. You're not the only who's had really bad habits since you left. Kanda's been smoking a lot, I mean a lot."
'You been acting awful tough lately, smoking a lot of cigarettes lately.' Allen's mind starting playing his song from earlier.
"He doesn't want to show he's hurting… from you being gone."
'But inside~ You're just a little ba-by'
"He stays at home for a lot of time, probably not wanting anyone to see how weak he actually feels."
'You're vulnerable, so vulnerable'
"He acts like he's just another person, hes on auto-pilot."
'You are not a robot.'
"He stopped hanging out with us and strated hanging with guys at the bar"
'You been hangin with the unloved kids who you never really liked and you never trusted.'
"He doesn't go to school as much, and he almost never answers when we call unless its urgent… at least he still cares a little."
'Never committing to anything, you never pick up the phone when it ring ring rings.'
"He's only barely opened up to us once."
'I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable.'
I nod, the song paying through my head over and over. "He's been almost as bad as me…" I say quietly, surprising the other occupants of this room.
"What do you mean?" Lavi asks. I wave it away.
"Where do you thin he'd be right now, I'll go talk to him." I say. Leanlee looks concerned but nods scribbling down some words.
She hands me a note and says, "These are the addresses in order of which he should be at, try all of them if not, just give up…" I nod.
I hear sayings of luck when I run out the door. First address is to a bar.
I turn right, and I walk down an alley. This is a long alley before I come to a door. Grey Tavern.
I nod to myself and walk in. it reeks of alcohol and smoke.
I loo around for a bit until a guy walks up to me. "Hey sweets lookin for someone?" he asks.
I nod, "Do you happen to know a Kanda Yuu?" I ask not sparing him a glance.
"No, but im sure you could have more fun with me~" he say getting a little closer.
"yeah thanks, have a nice night…" I say walking away to ask the bouncer.
I walk up to him and ask the same thing.
"He was here about an hour ago, got drunk off his ass and was on his way." I nod my thanks.
I walk out the door and the next address is just around the corner. A liquor store. How about no. im sorry Kanda but if you're at a liquor store, I cant help you. I salute the store and look at the next address.
It was a bit further away it about 2 miles north of where I am.
Oh well. I start walking. Walking past many restraunts who probably have filthy kitchens and filfthy mouths. I'm surprised by how many there are.
A female officer comes up to me and says, "Young man, you are our past curfew." she says in a motherly scolding tone.
Considering I just said motherly, disgust me for what im about to do.
I smirk and hold her cheek in y hand getting close, "Miss you must understand that if anything, 'tis you who are out past curfew, darling~" she blushes and starts stuttering.
I smirk wider a I let her go and she drives away probably really flustered.
It takes about 30 minutes to get to my destination with a bit of running.
It looks like this was his new house.
I ring the doorbell and a perky 'coming!' is yelled somewhere within the house and I could hear footsteps going everywhere.
The door is open in seconds, surprising me. Tiedoll opens the door, paint covering everywhere. Shock gracing his colored face.
"Why I'll be! Allen, you must be here to see Yuu… sorry to say he's not here right now, but you could wait for him if you'd like." he says stepping away from the door so I could enter.
"Sure. I would appreciate it, I've been running around town looking for him anyway." I say stepping in and sitting on the couch.
Tiedoll sits next to me, "Why were you looking for Yuu?"
"Lavi Lenalee and him were all at Lavi's house, and he strmed out when he saw it was me… I have to look for him." I answer.
Tiedoll hums in thought. "Yes, he hasn't been well. It would be great for you guys to hang out together again, maybe get him going to school again." I nod.
"yeah I think we've all missed each other. I thought it was just me, but turns out it wasn't considering Kanda's been separating himself." it actually made me sad, no matter what happene we were always friends, even when Lavi went to different countries we all waited for him, though he'd only be gone for a few months.
"Well feel free to us the t.v. while you wait for him to return, it cant be long now." he says getting up and walking into what I supposed would be his studio.
I take out my phone.
I starting listening to Glittering clouds by imogen heap.
"I wasn't always like this, its something I become." I read one of the news papers as I listen.
Robbery at a bank, whats new… peacock smuggling thing. Ok…
The song changes and I cant help but sing.
"Show me how to lie you're getting better every time.
And turning all against the one is an art that's hard to teach
Another clever words sets off an unexpecting herd
And as you step back into a line, a mob jumps to their feet."
I get pumped for the next part, jumping to my feet and belting it out, "now dance fucker dance man, he never had a chance and no one even knew it was really only you!"
"And now you steal away~ Take him out today. Nice work you did, YOURE GONNA GO FAR KID!"
"With a thousand lies and a good disguise, hit em right between the eyes, hit em right between the eyes. When you walk away, nothing more to say, see the lightning in your eyes,
See em running FOR THEIR LIVES!"
I hear clapping and turn around to see Kanda, not amused.
"Great fucking performance, but did you have to have it in my fucking living room? Honestly, what are you, a stalker? Just leave me the fuck alone." he growls walking away, but I grab his arm.
He glares at me but I start before him, "We need to talk, I won't take no for an answer." I say sitting him down on the couch.
"Get it over with so we can part ways." he sayys not paying attention.
"Leanlee told me how you've been, and I want to tell you something, Cross made me leave because he said I needed help, it's the only reason im here. When they tol me how you've been, it sounde exactly like how I've been, except… a little better honestly." I start, he seems a little interested.
"Why did Cross fucking sned you here for help, the fuck kinda help do you need anyway?" he asks.
"Um… I don't know the answer for the first question… as for the second… the shorter list would be why I don't need help. You name it, I've probably done it, besides drinking. I spent most my time at the bar… ya'know, having friend with benefits, going home with the wrong people. Putting crap in my system… I've become anorexic… I just stopped eating. I've been depressed…" I look down as it become silent for a bit.
"damn you really fucked yourself over, though I guess I cant blame you. I don't what the fuck that girl and Usagi told you, but stay out of my fucking business." he tries to get up, but I stop him.
"Maybe maybe not, but you will start hanging out with everyone again, I don't give a fuck if you want to or not. You're on a one way road to self-destruction, I know. Tomorrow we're all going to the park for a picnic. We're gonna pick you up and you better be home, im telling Tiedoll to make you stay home." I left him without options.
He grunts and walks away, I won. I go and tell Tiedoll the plans and not to let him out under any circumstances until we come and get him.
I walk back to Lavi's and theyre both still there.
"We're all going on a picnic tomorrow. Lenalee should just stay the night so we can go get him in the morning." I state waling in.
"I take it you were successful, but what I Kanda leaves the house before we get to him and we cant find him?" Lavi asks.
"I got that taken acre of, goodnight, im exhausted." I sayw alking to my appointed room. My sleep was dreamless.
I awoke to the smell of breakfast being made. I yawn and stretch like a cat, letting out a groan.
I get up ad slowly make my way down stairs.
"Heya Sprout morning' up for some breakfast?" Lavi asks. He was wearing a an apron that said Sugar Daddy Comin' Through.
I sigh, "No I'll pass." the food didn't look appetizing at all. He nos an turns back to the stove.
I wal into the living room and Lenalee is sitting there reading a book and listening to the tv.
"Oh good morning Allen." she says putting her book down.
"Hn…" I reply sitting next to her.
"Sleep well?" I nod. "that's good…" this is awkward, we're treading carefully.
"Hey Al'! What time should we be pickin up good ol' Yuu-chan?" Lavi asks from the kitchen.
I think for a moment, "After breakfast, well, actually, after we make the food for the picnic." that would make sense, but my mind isn't really on food too much.
Lenalee nods. "Actually, since you're not eating could yoou go grab him now, he can help cook in some way." I nod and go get dressed in my normal skinny jeans and Hurts t-shirt. Withmy gray and white checkered high tops.
"I'll be back!" I say walking out.
Again, it only takes me a bit to get there. And there was a note on the door,
Yuu is sleeping, I in my studio, you can let yourself in, and go wake Yuu up. Just scream and I'll call an ambulance.
I sigh, great I get to g in and basically commit suicide, can't say this was the way I was planning on going out but okay.
I open the door slowly checking to see if anyone was just lounging around, maybe go wake Kanda up so I don't have to, he obviously wasn't happy to see me…
I take a deep breath as I walk in and shut the door gently behind me I step in an head for the stairs but before I ae is a bit white blur tackles me t the ground, I let a loud scream and yell, "WHAT THE FUCK!"
I hear a door slam from up stairs and someone yelling, "Moyashi!?" the eager footsteps stopped as realization hit us both.
There was a huge snow white dog on top of me wagging its tail happily, obviously proud of his work.
I growl, pushing the dog off me, standing in front of Kanda, who, I just realized was almost naked save for the towel around is waist hanging dangerously low. Kind of hot actually.
I'm actually openly gay, it's not a secret, so I have no issue having 'not right' thoughts or checking out a guy.
"It's time to leave let's hit it…' I say glaring down at the goddamned dog.
"I'm not even dressed, im not going fucking naked and take the fucking dog, I don't want it, I don't know where it came from." he has a point, though he looks delicious he cant very well go out like that.
"I don't give a fuck, I was ust attacked, you can go naked, and im not taking the fucking dog. Im living with Lavi anyway. Bring the goddamned thing but I don't think he'll agree." I say grabbing a leash I always keep with me in case this happens, I was heartless, I cared about animals. And I also grab Kanda, naked as he is.
It was a really awkward walk having all the stares of disbelief and lust. I guess it was strange for a hot guy to be walking almost naked in the frigid morning, or at any point in time.\
When we got to Lavi's they re still eating, and their fors and jaws dropped open.
I smirk in satisfaction. "I got Kanda." he left the dog in the yard so it' be a surprise in the picnic, and we didnt want to deal with it. Kanda sat on the couch, legs wide open, with the right angle, you could easily see his jewels. It wasn't awkward to me, I grew up with Kana, an im also really mature, an oh yeah im gay. Im used to it.
But Lenalee was a hot mess. Stuttering, "K-Kanda… don't you think you should put some clothes on?" she was covering her eyes.
"Wow, Yuu, I idn't know you would be so bold with Allen." Lavi said still in shock.
"We didn't bang if that's what youre asking. He came running down stairs like that so I let him." I smirk as Kanda glares at me lying.
"Yeah right, you fucking skeez. You wouldn't let me get dressed before pushing me out the goddamned door. If I didnt know better I would think you were gay, fag." he smirks, thinking he's won. But I won.
"Oh… good senses I am gay girls are pretty bitchin but guys are just… I don't have a word for it." I say nonchalantly taking the remote and flipping channels.
"Wow, what are the chances of that, all three of my boy are either gay or partially gay, aw all the hot ones are." Lenalee groans.
I look at her in confusion.
"Kanda is gay too, Lavi just so happens to be pan." she says gesturing towards each.
My head slowly turns towards Kanda and I just cant help but make fun of him. "Kanda is gay? Whos the fag now huh? Kandy."
He growls, "Well? What about you, Ally." he smirks too.
But im just too cocky to lose, "Yep, faggy as fags come thank you ver much, and I have no shame in saying you are unreasonably hot." everyone is silenced. As they should be.
Okay, this was the first chapter of Bad Boy Better, Please review if you like it, and would like me to continue.