Only so much can be said to describe any one thing. There are the positives and negatives...opinions if you will, and then there are the actual dimensions of a thing...as well as the color, the texture...the smell or taste. But the ways you can describe a thing without being redundant are finite. When you break that down to a detail of a thing, well...everything narrows considerably depending on what the detail is a detail of.
Sora wondered about a thing...that was Riku. He had many words to describe Riku and had written them down but found that he was being redundant. Narrowing his focus to Riku's hair brought to light many questions he had never thought to ask himself while compiling his list of words to describe Riku's entire person.
The list of words that described Riku's hair started with simple observation words like pretty and soft. Farther down the list, Sora had hit a mental speed bump. Was Riku's hair an actual color? Or was it like polar bear's hair? Polar bears' hair was actually clear and Sora wondered if Riku's hair appeared to be the color it appeared to be because of the thickness or thinness of it...or if each hair was actually that color; that silvery gray that seemed to reflect the colors around it.
So badly Sora wanted to believe the polar bear theory but he couldn't believe it without proof. So it was, his list was stunted...dead in the water until he had proof of the color.
Staring at the strands closely, Sora wanted so badly to take one. There were definitely a lot of them and Riku probably wouldn't even feel it. Maybe he wouldn't even wake up. Yes, Sora did a lot of his list-making while Riku was asleep. He was easier to watch that way.
Holding his breath, Sora searched and chose the perfect hair. Riku lay on the warm sand with his arms behind his head sleeping. Sora had thought of starting a new list about another detail about Riku but he really didn't want to start a new one without finishing the hair one. Tugging at the hair gently, Sora bit his lip. It wasn't coming out. He tugged harder and Riku rolled one aqua eye around to look at him. Sora had his thinking face on…that never led to anything good or sane.
Tugging once more, the hair popped free and a grin spread across Sora's face making Riku smile. For a kid, he sure did have a cute smile. Holding the hair up to the summer sun, it disappeared from his sight. That was all the proof Sora needed to continue his list.
When he felt his list was complete for the time being, he closed his notebook and rolled to his back to mimic Riku's pose on the sand. His lists were never really finished because over the years things changed. If he wrote a new word that was almost like an old word, it was redundant, so he would choose between the repetitive words, put a star by the word he liked best and cross off the other one. Sora felt like at ten, he was a pretty smart kid for being so observant, and Riku was very much like a polar bear.
When Sora was twelve, he had a different notebook, but he still kept his lists of things: words describing details about his best friend. One of his all-time favorite lists was the list of words that described Riku's hair and how he was like a polar bear, but he had made lists for other parts of Riku as well.
The newest list embarrassed him just a bit, but since Riku didn't know, it was ok. This list was about a smaller detail...his dimples. Cute and pretty were the words that came quickly to mind. The obvious words always came first. He wondered and watched when Riku smiled. He so wanted to measure the size, exactly, that his smile had to be before the dimples showed up. He couldn't do that while Riku was sleeping so he had to be smart about it.
Taking a red vine one day he was pretending to make mustache with it. He saw Riku watching so he asked him to try too. Sora took another red vine and pressed it to Riku's top lip. When he smiled, Sora watched raptly and as soon as the dimples appeared, he snatched the red vine away and bit it off to the exact size.
Riku's eyes looked really big (that list had been made a long time ago) so Sora gave him a new red vine to eat. When he got home, he measured the red vine, then ate it of course, but his list about Riku's dimples was closer to being complete and much to Sora's glee, very accurate.
At 15 Sora was still making lists about details of details of Riku's person. He never neglected to go back and add to lists that he had made before if a new word came up pertaining to one of them. For example, there was a list for Riku's lips that was recently becoming more complete. Sora had added the words sweet and wet to the list although he wasn't sure if the sweet part was his lips or just the candy he had been eating. He would have to try and steal a kiss when Riku hadn't been eating candy...like when he was asleep on the beach.
Riku had helped him add a word or two to his list without even knowing it but it was the list about his eyes. He didn't see Riku mad that often but the day he added the words to the lips list, he also added words to the eyes list. Riku had gotten mad at him for writing in his notebook so he added the words angry, icy, and dark to the eyes list as well.
At 16 making his lists took a little longer because Riku wasn't around as much for him to observe. He rarely looked into Sora's eyes like he used to either. His lips looked sad, his eyes looked dark, and Sora never saw his dimples anymore.
The worst part about missing Riku was missing him with his heart. Sure, Sora missed him with his body and sometimes in a pretty weird way...but missing Riku with his heart hurt and sometimes made him cry. Sora would take walks where they used to walk together, sit in the cave where he had drawn a picture of them when he was a little kid, or go to the fallen palm.
Sora was always happy when Riku came around, even if he looked angry or sad. Sora had noticed lately that Riku was too quiet, even for Riku...another word for the lips list - still.
A thousand days Riku's lips were still, it seemed to Sora, and one day they weren't. They said that he wanted to give Sora something which reminded Sora of many of the words that were on the list he had made for Riku's heart, like generous and selfless. Sora was happy to be receiving a gift from Riku when it wasn't even his birthday, but at the same time he was sad because he didn't have a gift to give him in return.
Following his best friend with hair like a polar bear to their secret hiding place by the fallen palm, Sora smiled as he mentally listed words he wanted to add to his lists about other parts of Riku.
This day was different in many ways. Riku was wearing shorts and no shoes, which is something he did rarely but it meant that he didn't want to go fishing, or looking for shells to make necklaces, or go exploring.
In their secret place where they went to escape the endless yakking of Kairi, Riku smiled at him before picking him up and plopping him onto the fallen palm. Sora smiled back like he always did because usually if he smiled back big enough he would get to see the dimples.
Seeing the dimples, Sora giggled and watched his friend curiously. Instead of hopping up onto the tree with him he stood in front of him looking thoughtful. Sora watched Riku drop his eyes to stare at the sand under his bare feet. He had his hands on his hips but then clasped them behind his back.
Blowing out a breath that puffed his hair Riku slid his toes around in the sand and looked at Sora's swinging feet, then his legs...probably his knees because Sora's knees were kind of ugly in his opinion. Not at all like Riku's - not his knees necessarily, but his legs overall.
Riku had really nice legs and the list about the legs was long. There was a lot to be listed. In retrospect, Sora thought he probably should have made separate lists for from the shins down, and from the knees up. Sora was just deciding to make those changes when Riku touched his knees. He had a feeling he had been looking at his ugly knees.
"Sora...I like you." Riku's lips said which brought to mind the list about Riku's voice. Sora stared as he ticked off the list of words in his mind that he had written about the voice...and the eyes that were looking at him expectantly, the hands settled on his ugly knees, the tiny nose, the lips again that held a small smile.
Sora nodded at the statement because of course Riku liked him, they were best friends. Sora wondered what his gift was as he sat there on the tree with the sun filtering through leaves to shine on clear strands of hair that, when piled up, looked silver.
Riku stepped closer to him and his pretty hands pushed Sora's ugly knees apart so he could step even closer. This closeness brought Sora to a more recent list that he had started.
There were details of details of Riku that filled notebooks, but recently there was a new list that Sora felt was important: feelings. It was abstract and there was no way to test any of it, but since it was a list of Sora's own feelings...well all he had to do was be honest.
As he pondered his feelings list, Sora wondered if Riku was going to ask him to close his eyes so his gift would be a surprise. He sure was close...maybe he was going to whisper...he had a list about Riku's breath too.
The soft sound of Riku licking his lips and the scent of salt in the air and the sweet smell of Riku together with the warmth of the streaky sun, the cool of the shade, and the hot hands on his thighs now...when did they leave the ugly knees?
Sora's skin prickled under the hands that had an extensive list of their own. That list was the most complete because Sora had plenty of time to inspect them for every detail...even licked one just so he could add how they taste. That had made Riku giggle and Sora saw the dimples.
Sora watched silver (looking) lashes blink slowly and felt the tiny nose touch his. Warm breath (sweet) puffed against his mouth right before the lips touched his. Sora pressed his unimpressive mouth to Riku's, grateful for the chance to sample them again but doubtful he would be able to add any words to his list without being redundant.
But Riku did something different this time. Sora was distracted from the lips which he was assuming was the gift, by the hands edging up under the hem of his shorts.
Sora's heart did something funny, but it held no candle to what his stomach was doing. Then a new list was born as Riku's tongue touched the seam of Sora's lips, making him gasp. When he parted his lips he began to mentally list words that described the tongue that made him forget every other list for the time being.
Sora had been resting his hands on the fallen tree where he sat, but when Riku surprised him with his tongue, his hands went up to Riku's shoulders where they squeezed gently to let his friend know that he was surprised but it was ok. He needed to let Riku know that he appreciated the kiss so he tugged his shoulders toward him.
Riku did something new at that point too, two new somethings in one day! He made a new sound that came through his nose as they kissed. Sora liked it a lot but when he heard it, what had been going on in his stomach went somewhere else altogether. Suddenly there were too many words to try and remember as Riku's hands were back on his ugly knees long enough to push them farther apart...but Sora didn't want the hands on his knees.
Sora felt that he was a pretty good problem solver, so in order to help Riku with his ugly knees as well as free up the hands to go back to his thighs, he spread his knees wide. Riku made that sound through his nose again as his tongue continued to do strange things to Sora. The hands didn't go back to his knees or his thighs though, they went to his hips and pulled him off the tree!
Riku had held Sora before, carried him even...but never quite like this, never while kissing him, and never ever with this new development pressed against his stomach. Sora was embarrassed but as Riku stepped away from the tree he had sat him on (I mean really, what was the point of putting him up there if he was just going to take him down again) he slipped down a bit and realized Riku had a problem of his own. That made everything equal so Sora was satisfied that Riku wouldn't think he was weird.
The lips he adored left his and he watched the pretty eyes for a second or two before looking back at the lips. Sora decided quickly if that was his gift, he wasn't ready for it to be over, but he was conflicted now. What did he want to kiss next? He thought he should decide pretty quickly because Riku was holding him tightly and might be getting tired. Riku's lips were puffy, and pinker than they were before too, so Sora pressed his own lips (that felt tingly) to Riku's jaw right in front of his ear.
Suddenly it became a game! Riku would move his head so that Sora could kiss a new spot every time and soon he had tasted his face, ear, and his neck! Sora found that Riku's neck tasted different in different places but when he tasted the skin of Riku's throat, he felt him shiver and he made another new sound that was almost a growl…just not an angry one. Sora smiled against the spot because it felt like a new, secret thing.
He felt movements and realized he had been right about Riku being tired of holding him, because he was going to his knees on the sand, careful not to drop him. He was always careful with Sora.
When Riku was on his knees, he sat Sora onto the sand in front of him by sliding him backward off his thighs. Sora thought immediately that he didn't like the far away as much as the up close, so he moved his ugly knees apart and pulled his best friend toward him again.
He felt happy when Riku smiled and pressed him backward to lie on the sand. He and Riku had lain together on the sand lots of times and it was one of his favorite things to do...He had a new favorite thing as of today though. Instead of lying beside him, this time Riku lay on top of him and Sora definitely liked this way better.
Wrapping his arms around Riku to show him he was ok with it, he heard another new sound that wasn't whispery like before. This sound was more of a groan and then Riku did something else new: he pressed his body against Sora so hard that Sora grunted. His mind was trying to figure out what his body was telling him he needed and until he could figure it out he would exercise some trial and error. Maybe Riku knew what to do.
More kissing was a good place to start, so Sora did that. Riku must have thought that putting his hands under Sora's shirt was a good place to start for him because that's what he did. After a minute or two of that Sora wondered if Riku had been making lists of his own because he began to kiss other places on him and he seemed to want his shirt off.
Sora tugged at his own thin shirt to try and help but Riku sat up and took off his and then Sora's too. He was always helping. There was a part of Riku that had a list that Sora felt funny going over. His chest. Sora saw it often but it had changed so much over the years that a lot of the words at the beginning had been crossed off.
Not knowing whether or not he should ask permission, Sora reached to touch and watch the rise and fall as Riku breathed...a little deeper than usual. He must have liked it because he did the same to Sora.
Sora liked that a lot and when he trailed his hands down to Riku's stomach, he was a little embarrassed at where his eyes went instead. Riku's eyes looked him over and Sora wondered if he was terribly comfortable hovering over him on his knees and one hand as he touched him with the other.
Sora wiggled slightly because even though Riku hovered over him closely, he still liked it better when their skin was touching. Riku must have liked it better too because he lay down on top of him, between the ugly knees and propped on his elbow instead of his hand. Sora realized he and Riku thought a lot alike.
Riku's lips touched his again but didn't press like before. This time they whispered his name and Sora thought it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard in his life. So sweet in fact he asked Riku to say it again...which he did as well as press their bodies together in a way that made Sora press back.
That seemed to almost be what he needed...just not enough, so Sora touched all the skin available before pushing at the band of Riku's shorts. Riku did something then that Sora wanted but didn't know he wanted until he did it. That had happened to Sora before with food, but this was different and better.
Riku rose up off of Sora and pushed his legs together enough to tug his shorts down. Sora gasped as he felt a blush covering his cheeks. He didn't want Riku to make fun of him for being like this but then his worries disappeared when Riku pushed his own shorts down too so they could share more of each other. The lists were the very last thing on Sora's mind after that, and he discovered even more things he loved about Riku.
Much later after going for a swim but not talking much and smiling a lot, they went to their respective homes for dinner. In his room after showering, Sora took out his most recent notebook and opened to a new page. Staring at the paper for a moment he closed his eyes trying to figure where he should begin.
After a few minutes he started to smile. Under his bed was a stack of notebooks he had started when he was a little kid. Inside were lists of words describing details of details of Riku...picking them up, he went downstairs and tossed them all into the garbage. Sora had realized that for all of the parts of Riku he had spent so much time describing, one word was on all the lists and that one word was small, but at the same time big enough to cancel out everything else. Love.
Sora was Riku's best friend. He was a little strange but he was the perfect kind of strange for Riku. When he was 12 Riku's favorite thing about Sora was his hair. It was exactly the color of chocolate and it did all kinds of cool stuff. Riku's hair just kind of laid there and didn't really have a color. Because his hair was so reflective, his mom wouldn't allow him to wear green because she said it made him look like he was sick. That was too bad because he really like the color green.
Green was the color of the trees when they were healthy. Riku guessed that trees and people were very different in that way, even though he felt they were a lot alike in other ways. They both he had limbs and both were alive and breathing, they had different shapes and sizes, and they had different jobs, just like people.
Sora's parents didn't care what color he wore or that his hair stuck out everywhere. Riku's parents said Sora's parents were hippies and that Sora was simple. Riku thought that being simple must be great because Sora always seemed happy.
When he was 14 Riku had a new favorite thing about Sora- his smile. If he was grumpy, all he had to do was see Sora smiling and he didn't feel grumpy anymore.
Sora spent a lot of time writing in notebooks when they were together and sometimes Riku wished that he would talk more and write less. Sora's talking came in bursts and sometimes it took Riku a while to figure out what he was talking about. Sora thought a lot and whatever he kept writing must have been really important and secret because he never showed Riku the books...and Riku didn't want to sneak.
Sora had always stared at him for long periods but didn't say anything. He was thinking for sure because his face would change. Riku liked all of Sora's different faces. Sometimes he would do the most random things like pull his hair, or lick his hand (that tickled and Riku had to giggle).
One day while he was relaxing on the sand, Sora kissed him. It wasn't a big production movie kiss, just a small soft one but Riku liked it. He felt the barest touch of Sora's tongue against his bottom lip too, and that was the best. He licked his lips until they chapped that afternoon, trying to figure what taste was his and what was Sora's.
When he was 16, Riku had pretty much decided he was in love with Sora and he also decided that Sora would be the last person on earth to figure it out because all he did was write in those stupid books. For now Riku would content himself with lying on the sand like a bug under a microscope because at least Sora was touching him...in odd ways, but it still counted.
Riku was a couple years older than Sora and his mind was going to places that Sora probably hadn't considered yet...maybe. Riku spent more time thinking about Sora than Sora thought about him, especially at night.
Riku figured that Sora probably spent nights writing in his notebooks while Riku spent nights thinking about his new favorite part of Sora...it was kind of still smile-related but more specifically, his mouth.
Some days they went to the cave to sit and Sora would do weird Sora things like sniff him or lick some random part of him...and he would sit quietly and not question it.
Kairi had become a barnacle and she took advantage of Riku's weakness to Sora. Riku knew this because she would join them sometimes and talk ceaselessly until Sora went home and then she would take off her top for Riku. Riku was fascinated with her new interest in his body, but what he really wanted was chocolate hair, plump pink lips and strong arms. Kairi was none of those things but if he closed his eyes the whole time, he could pretend that she was…he just had to ignore the boobs.
Pretending got him nowhere but in deeper with Kairi who insisted that he come and visit with her and meet her parents. So at17, Riku saw less of Sora and more of Kairi...a lot more. He missed the days lazing on the beach beside Sora, smelling the candy on his breath and listening to his soft snores when he would fall asleep because he thought Riku was sleeping. They had found a fallen palm that they kept a secret from Kairi and sometimes Riku could make an excuse to her and meet Sora there. Those were the best times and the times that Riku hoped Sora would realize how he felt about him. He didn't.
Soon Riku was off the hook with Kairi because her parents found out what they had been doing with their alone time...plus he had called her Sora at a very unfortunate moment...more than once. Back on the beach with his best friend, he was happy. Sora was happy too. He smiled a lot but he still carried a notebook when they hung out.
One afternoon while he was sleeping on the sand, Riku decided that he needed to know what he was always writing...for his own sanity. Crawling around Sora so that his shadow wouldn't fall across his face and wake him, Riku lifted the cover of the notebook.
Chewing his lip, he tried to figure out why Sora had lists of adjectives under headings that appeared to be body parts. Maybe Sora was simple, like his parents always said...or maybe he was a genius. Looking closer, he realized the lists were about him and he looked at his sleeping friend. Was it possible he felt the same way? Riku squirmed with the desire to touch him, to wake him with kisses and say the words that stated the obvious.
He started that afternoon deciding how he would go about letting Sora know how he felt without seeming like a psycho or a total jackass...it wouldn't be easy.
Sora took everything he said exactly as he said it; no reading into, no adding on, no assuming. If he told Sora that he loved him, Sora would be confused because they had skipped the liking part. Maybe he should start small and go from there. Sora kissed him once in a while, but Riku honestly wasn't sure if he even considered it kissing or just...tasting. Kissing or tasting either way, it caused Riku a problem that Sora seemed oblivious to.
Finally when Riku was 18 he decided that Sora was never going to give up his notebooks and he was never going to get the hint. He was never going to kiss him for real and he was probably never ever going to be his boyfriend. So now he was ready to take a chance on ruining their friendship forever by telling Sora how he really felt in a way that he would understand.
Before meeting at the fallen palm, Riku spent extra time in the bathroom so he wouldn't embarrass himself. He thought about the few times he and Sora had talked about the trials of puberty (which was another futile attempt to get Sora to understand his feelings without making it weird) when Sora would blush, then rub his belly and change the subject. (Oh yes, if Sora was edible, he wouldn't exist anymore. Riku would have kept returning for a taste until he was all gone) He stopped bringing it up however, for fear that Sora would think he was a total creeper… but he didn't care anymore. He was a creeper where his best friend was concerned. Kairi had found out and after she got over her own hurt feelings, she told him good luck finding a house to drop onto Sora's head because he was clueless.
Sighing as he prepared for his meeting, he didn't bother with shoes or jeans because all he really wanted was to find out how Sora felt about him. He had told Sora he had a gift for him and the gift was going to be a kiss, a real one. If he needed more explanation than that, well...he had that too.
Sometimes Riku didn't need to say anything to get his point across and today was apparently going to be one of those days. Sora was smiling and happy to see him but didn't say anything as they walked to the fallen palm.
Once there Riku plopped him onto the tree but instead of taking his usual spot beside him, he stood in front of him. He stared at his feet and toes in the sand working up his courage, then looked into his eyes with his hands resting on his knees.
The kiss began softly and that could have been mistaken for anything, so Riku lingered as he inched his hands up from knees to thighs. His fingertips were under the edge of Sora's shorts but not enough to scare him off.
Sora tasted so good and seemed agreeable to the kiss, so Riku pushed his legs apart just enough to get closer and deepen the kiss. Sora's hands had found his shoulders and he was beginning to respond. Riku thought it was all going well so far and he was doing a decent job of staying in control of himself, until... Sora spread his legs and pulled Riku forward.
A low moan escaped through his nose as he decided that he would kiss Sora the way he really wanted to, licking the roof of his mouth and teasing him to kiss back harder. That happened, and Riku was doomed to have a boner for the rest of the day anyhow, so he pulled Sora of the tree and held him close.
Sora may not have talked about it much, but he obviously knew what he was doing to Riku, because pressed against his stomach was evidence of the physical feelings he had for Riku.
Dropping to his knees as gently as one could while holding another human being, Riku laid Sora back onto the sand. What he really wanted to do was flip him over, bite his round ass and ream him right there under the palm tree...but he didn't.
Sora was totally returning all his advances. It was the feathery kisses he placed on his neck that got him removed from his sitting spot on the tree, and now that he was on his back Riku waited for the inevitable push away, what the fuck Riku, and I never want to see you again...but still...
Hovering over Sora, he could vaguely feel the sand grinding into his knees and hand but all he really felt was Sora. Sora welcoming his kisses and touches, Sora's sweet lips and soft skin. Shirt off now...now.
That was much better as Sora's hands roamed his chest and he allowed Riku the same privilege but did he have any idea what he was doing to Riku at this point, probably not. Whispering his name against his lips, Riku was barely clinging to his self-control and dignity, and he clung with all he had until Sora responded with nothing he expected to hear, "Say it again..."
Whispering his name again, Riku was on autopilot. The captain was away from the wheel, so when he ground against Sora and he pressed up against him...the pants had to go now...right now. As if he finally had a clue, Sora began tugging at the band of Riku's shorts. He was more than happy to do the honors and divest both their bodies of any and all obstructions. Looking down at Sora for just a second to appreciate him in a way that he had been embarrassed to take the time to before when they were just changing their swimming clothes, Riku looked back up to the blush on Sora's cheeks and kissed him again.
Not very long after, Sora made the sweetest sound- it was needy but not like a whine, desperate but not painfully so, and Riku melted. Lying there wet and sticky with Sora on the sand, he hoped his best friend didn't see the fear in his eyes that this would never happen again, or that Sora would hate him.
Hands in his hair, pulling it back from his face, shaking legs beginning to relax against him as they slid down pushing up small mounds of sand- Sora was kissing him again and his fears were washed away like their footprints at high tide.
Slipping his hands into soft brown, sweat dampened spikes, Riku kissed his face, his eyes, his small nose, and finally his lips again. Years he had waited for Sora and it had taken a direct full frontal assault to get his point across.
They decided a swim would be necessary before heading home, and when the salty water stung the sand shredded skin of Riku's knees and elbows, when his mom chewed him out for being late for dinner, even if Sora still had that silly notebook the next time he saw him...still worth it.