80Whispers of Fate: The Girl That Never Was
A/N: So in other news I may have a new fanfic coming sometime soon because now I finally have the books again and am writing this again I'm having so many ideas. Also I finally got Midnight Sun and it changes my opinion on Edward somewhat which is good for this fic because I can make things fit properly but bad because it gives me more plot bunnies when I'm never keeping up with the ones I've written. However, for now the muse is rolling so enjoy this as it comes. Also please review, they really help with my motivation! Even if it's just a :).
Chapter 4: Best Kept Lies
The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. - Norman Schwarzkopf
It turned out Emmett was possibly the best person to enter the hospital with and the reasons were twofold. Firstly, (and most importantly to Ray's current mind), his firm, cold hand wrapped around her tiny, currently freezing hand was oddly grounding to her. Somehow the feel of his cool skin, the gentle squeeze and kind smile he flashed her when her eyes, still slightly reddened from all her crying, flickered to his face as if to assure herself of his presence, calmed her. Ray likened it to a lifeboat in the middle of the sea. Somehow Emmett was keeping her afloat and stopping her from slipping back under the tide of her swirling emotions. Secondly, Emmett was huge. He towered over everyone in the waiting room and easily parted the crowd. People moved for Emmett, leaving enough space for Ray to quietly sneak through behind him as he cleared enough space for two people to walk side by side behind him.
Ray didn't miss the look of intrigue and the flash of something that was possibly jealousy that lit Jessica's eyes as they made their way quietly past the tiny brunette. She raised an eyebrow at Ray when their eyes met and Aurelia, not knowing quite what was happening herself, blushed and directed her vision to the ground. Her eyes not rising again until Emmett gently tugged her in front of him once more, her back pressed to his chest. He placed his large hands on her shoulders, covering them almost completely and squeezed lightly as they stopped by her Uncle.
"Hey Uncle C." Ray's voice sounded hoarse and crackly to her own ears, she winced slightly imagining how awful it must sound to the vampires lurking around the hospital.
Poor Emmett is being super kind right now and you're quite literally grating against his ears, good job Auriela good job.
Her Uncle looked stricken, his skin seemed whiter than usual and a little clammy. "Hey Kid, I called your Aunt Renee, she says hi." Charlie gripped the edge of his pocket quickly, almost as if he was squeezing his own grounding object.
Huh, must be a family trait. Ray mused as she offered her Uncle a weak smile and reclaimed one of Emmett's hands without any conscious thought. "Oh Bella's gonna be pissed with you Uncle C."
Ray seemed to have successfully calmed her uncle with barely a word, memories flashing behind her eyes of Bella over the years raging at her father for calling her mother over the smallest bumps and bruises feeling she had a right to know.
A small smile slipped onto Ray's face as Charlie huffed and crossed his arms, "Yeah well, that's too bad. I don't even know she's okay. The amount of times that girl has cracked her head on something...what else was I supposed to do?"
His defensive tone was not lost on Ray who only offered a shrug in response. "You haven't heard anything yet?" Her eyes narrowed and a small frown marred her brow as she considered this. She vaguely remembered Bella waiting around with Tyler but wasn't Charlie there? Or was that in the movie? Using her hand that wasn't gripping Emmetts for dear life, Ray pressed her thumb and middle finger against her eyes, trying to dispel the mixture of memories from this world, flashes of movie scenes and odd snippets of text from books.
"I can take Ray through and see if we can find something out if you like Chief?" Emmett offered kindly.
He was rewarded with matching expressions of shock and wide eyes, one brown set, one blue set as both Ray and Charlie stared at him. "Thanks son, you think you can get in? They won't let me back there even and I'm her father so…"
Charlie trailed off with a pained glance towards the entry to the Emergency Room. Emmett responded with a mischievous grin. "Don't worry about it. My Dad's back there, they'll let me in." Emmett said confidently, clapping Charlie on the shoulder, perhaps a little harder than he should have if the flicker of shock across Charlie's face was anything to go by.
Emmett moved with a surety Ray had seen very few people ever exhibit in her lifetime, a pang resounded from her heart and reverberated through her body as she realised how much the quiet confidence reminded her of her father. A feeling of safety washed over her again as she let herself be tugged forwards and through the ER doors, nurses nodding to Emmett with a smile as they passed.
"Told you." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at Ray as they strode down the hallways towards, well, hopefully her cousin but Ray wasn't exactly sure as she was completely following Emmett's lead.
A giggle escaped her lips and she shook her head in disbelief, the golden hues in her hair glinting in the hospital's fluorescent lighting. "You're something else Emmett Cullen." She murmured.
Emmett rewarded her with his signature blinding grin, his golden eyes flashing happily as they rounded the corner just in time to see Edward stalking towards them looking murderous. "Woah Edward what's going on man?" Emmett asked putting a restraining hand on Edwards shoulder to stop his forward motion before he crashed into them.
Edward flicked his eyes down to Ray. Aurelia suddenly felt very small and very human. Edward looked like he could easily rip her apart for daring to be with his brother right now. Trying, and failing to suppress a shiver that the nasty look bought on in her, Ray's eyes darted for a way out and suddenly settled on her cousin, standing at the other end of the hallway looking furious.
"Bella!" Ray called, letting go of Emmett's hand and running towards her cousin, relief seeping into every pore of her being as she wrapped her arms around the other girl. Whether for her cousin's unharmed state or her own escape from the presence of the murderous looking vampire she wasn't sure. "I'm so glad you're okay. You are okay right?"
"I'm fine. Tylenol for the pain." Bella pushed back from the hug and glared over Ray's shoulder.
Looking quickly between the two, Bella who seemed to be trying to bore a hole into Edwards skull and Edward who was talking quietly with Emmett, Ray realised there was no way out of the conversation that was about to happen. Bella was going to tell her why she was frustrated with Edward and she was going to give herself away. The best she could do was try and claim confusion and that might appease Bella and Edward but Emmett was right there. He knew, or would know. He had the same view she did and she'd looked at Bella several times during their conversation. He would know that she had seen Bella on her own with Edward nowhere near her before the accident.
"There's something up with Edward." Bella fixed her gaze on her cousin now and Ray tried to arrange her face into something that resembled confusion. She couldn't tell if she was successful or not. "Maybe his whole family. He was nowhere near me Ray you saw that right? Tyler didn't see him. I'm not crazy!"
Bella's frustration was evident in her speech. It wouldn't have been out of place for her to stomp her foot. Ray turned Bella's words over in her head for a second and rolled her response around a few times.
"I don't know Bella. He must have been next to you right? How else would he have gotten there so fast?"
"That's my point exactly Ray! It's impossible. You saw that I was alone right? I know you did. I saw you looking at me while you were talking to Emmett. What did he want by the way?"
Ray pulled her plump bottom lip between her teeth. "English notes." She muttered, twisting the fabric of Emmett's hoodie around her hands. "He lent me this hoodie too. I forgot my coat."
Bella's eyes narrowed. "I thought you didn't know anything about the Cullens."
"I don't."
Bella raised her eyebrows, "You're in his hoodie Ray! You saw and now you're lying to me! What are you hiding for them?!" Bella's voice had gradually risen until she was shouting at Ray. Luckily the only people in the deserted hall were Ray, Bella and the two Cullens. Ray felt herself flushing red as she became aware of the eyes which seemed to be settled firmly on the back of her head.
"I'm not hiding anything Bella! I just don't know okay! I don't know what I saw." The desperation Ray felt bled into her tone as she implored Bella to believe her lie.
Bella fixed Ray with a gaze so cutting Ray felt a little corner of her heart crack slightly. She hated lying. Bella for whatever reason had become important to her, and short of finding a door home out of nowhere, Ray didn't want to be alone in this strange reality and right now, Bella was clearly furious with her.
"Whatever Ray. Side with them. I don't care." She shouldered her way past hitting Ray on the way and making her stumble before she strode out past the Cullens and presumably to the waiting room.
"I'm not siding with anyone." Ray whispered, feeling bereft. She realised bleakly that she didn't want to argue with Bella. She didn't want to be involved in this. She didn't want to be here. All Ray really wanted right now was to go home. The one thing she couldn't do.
Ray took a moment, took a deep breath, turned to walk back to Emmett. She needed to act as normally as possible. As much as she'd like to disappear back into her own life or wake up from this fresh hell, that wasn't within her control. What was within her control right now was what she did next. Did she want to go back to Charlie's? She didn't think so. The idea of sitting at home with a furious Bella for the day wasn't exactly appealing. She didn't have her own vehicle and honestly driving on the wrong side of the road kind of freaked her out, she didn't know where she'd go if she did have the wheels. So her only option seemed to be to go back to school. Also unappealing but definitely the best of a bad set of choices.
Edward had disappeared sometime during her argument with her cousin she assumed because the only person left in the corridor was Emmett. She smiled up at him as she reached him and twiddled a piece of her hair around her fingers, fidgeting under his gaze. He looked a little confused for half a second before he deftly hid those feelings, oh yeah, Ray thought, he definitely knows I saw.
"Can I get a lift back to school please?"
School was awful. There was no other word for it. Absolutely awful. People kept coming up to Ray to ask after Bella, teachers, students it didn't matter. All their concern merely reminded Ray that currently she was probably undesirable number one to Bella. Well, she thought wryly, maybe number two, Edward might get the top spot. She couldn't have been more grateful for the bell to ring at the end of the day, except that when it did she realised she had no way of getting home.
Emmett had driven her back to school from the hospital but as far as Ray was aware Bella still had the keys to the truck.
With a rough shake of her head, Ray stomped her way out of the school and began the trek home. Emmett's jeep was nowhere to be seen in the school parking lot because Ray just might have asked for a lift if it was.
She trudged through the slush and ice, grumbling internally about how far away Charlie's house actually was from the town. The book always made a big deal of the Cullen's house being isolated but had anyone ever really pointed out that Charlie and Bella lived basically on the boundary of Forks with the neighbours being at least a mile away and closer into town, no why would they? Bella never had to walk home. Ray's internal grumbling only increased as she felt the sting in her cheeks from the winds and her foot started to squelch in her right shoe. There was obviously a hole in the sole she hadn't noticed.
"Perfect, that's fucking amazing!" Ray grumbled aloud this time.
A sharp beep to her left, and the sounds of a car crunching slowly along beside her stopped Ray in her tracks. "Hey Aurelia right? Chief Swan's niece?"
Ray turned, mouth agape slightly, as she stared at this complete unknown in front of her. She couldn't place the boy with the friendly smile, crooked nose and shock of brown hair long enough the front was dusting his forest green eyes. She actually had no clue who this person was.
"Uh," Oh great Ray, wonderful opening there. She scolded herself. Make yourself look like a right idiot why don't you. Of course more people exist than are mentioned by name in the book for fuck sake, it's an entire world! "Yeah that's me. I'm um, I'm really sorry but-"
"You don't know who I am." The guy grinned in an oddly charming manner, he had nothing on the grins Emmett bestowed upon her but Ray noticed he was cute, she might even fancy the guy if she hadn't seen the Cullens. Unfortunately, she had and this guy could not hold a candle to them. "Name's Daniel, Daniel Charlmers but I prefer Dan. I'm in your calc class."
"Oh, well," Ray felt a little awkward, standing on the pavement, facing this guy who was hanging out the window of his stopped car, making small talk. Plus she was freezing. "It's great to meet you. I prefer Ray actually."
"Ah right. Sorry." He flashed another charming smile.
Ray stood, shivering in the wind for a few awkward seconds before she felt the spatter of rain as the heavens began to open. She needed to get home before there was any sort of deluge or she'd get sick for sure.
"Look not to be rude, but I need to get home before this picks up," she gestured to the rain clouds coating the darkening sky, "and I'm literally starting to feel my thighs burn from the wind so I'm just gonna-"
"Oh right!" Daniel sat up straighter in his seat, the exclamation shocking Ray enough that it stopped her mid turn. "I actually stopped to offer you a lift. Chief Swan lives near me, ish. Well honestly I have to pass my house but, I just, yeah." He trailed off as a blush began to seep across his cheeks, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck awkwardly.
Ray smiled. It was nice, she thought, to meet someone who she was expecting nothing from, she knew nothing about. It gave her an odd feeling of normalcy to meet a random person who behaved so beautifully human and who she had no preconceptions of. Now strictly speaking, getting in a car with a stranger who offers you a lift when you can't recall ever seeing them before in your life is a bad idea but Ray fancied her chances. She was freezing and in the worst case scenario, she liked to think she could probably take him, he didn't look that big; sort of average actually.
"That'd be great Dan, as long as it's not an imposition. I mean I can walk from your house if you like?" Ray offered, moving towards the car a beat up old brown Volkswagen of some description.
"Nah it's cool. Get in." He motioned with his head to the passenger seat and rolled his window back up as Ray jogged round to get in the car. "So Ray," Dan said, fiddling with the dial on the dash which suddenly blasted hot air out at them. Ray could have kissed him for that. "How are you enjoying life in Forks?"
Ray laughed lightly as she plugged in her seatbelt and Dan began to drive, "Honestly mate, it's not that much different from life in small town England. Except the whole wrong side of the road thing. Also your roads are huge. You do get more forest though, I kinda like that."
"Oh yeah?" Dan flashed her a smile as he made a turn, "You explored the forest much yet? It's great for a place to think or hike or whatever."
"Nah I haven't had much chance, and honestly I'm a little concerned I'd get lost." Ray shrugged her shoulders. "I'll get round to it I guess."
"Well if you ever need a hiking buddy," Dan said pulling up to the curb by her uncle's house, "then I feel confident in saying I have yet to be lost in these forests."
Ray laughed lightly again as she unclipped her seatbelt, grabbed the strap of her bag and opened the door of her car. "Oh i'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the lift Dan. See you in school?"
"Yeah see you around Ray." With one last smile as she slammed the car door shut, Dan drove away.
Ray stood for a few minutes considering the short drive with her unexpected saviour. It was nice to feel normal for a few minutes. Now however she had to face her strange reality again and that was not going to be fun. With a sigh Ray entered the house, shouldering open the door she was surprised to see her Uncle sat in the living room. He usually worked later than this.
"Hey Uncle C you're home early." She said as she dropped her bag by the couch.
"Figured someone should be home with Bells, she's gone to bed though so I need to go back out and pick up the truck and finish all the paperwork soon," he sighed dragging a hand down his face in a way that made him seem unbelievably weary, "you mind keeping an ear out for her?"
"Nah that's cool I can do that. I'm just gonna make some pasta for dinner, you want me to make you a plate?"
"Please." Her Uncle gave her a tight smile, "Oh Ray, there's a box for you in the kitchen, I think-" he cleared his throat awkwardly and Ray felt a drop of adrenaline hit her stomach. "I think it's from England, some of your family's stuff, things they didn't sell with the estate. You don't have to open it today kid but, yanno it might be...cathartic."
Ray nodded her mouth suddenly as dry as the Sahara desert, she would not be opening that box. She would rather cut off her own arm than open that box today, that was for sure.
The month after the accident was horrendous. Ray had somehow forgotten that it had been quietly stated that weeks and weeks had passed before anything else of note happened in the book. Obviously for a reader this worked just fine, but for Ray living through it was torture. Bella was slowly warming back to her cousin as long as nothing Cullen was mentioned at all. The girls could do their homework together and have dinner together quite happily. For the first four weeks after the accident Ray was never more grateful for background characters because she didn't know what she'd have done if Dan hadn't stepped up.
Emmett was still following her around, making conversation here and there but as hard as it was proving, and it was proving awful for her, Ray was avoiding him again. She felt terrible about it she really did, there was really no excuse for her behaviour except that she knew that Emmett, Alice and Jasper at the very least were aware of what she'd seen and unlike Bella she hadn't hit her head. Alice and Jasper had both tried to talk to her about it and Ray wasn't sure if she was more shocked that Jasper had tried to engage her in conversation during a History lesson one day or that none of the Cullens seemed at all perturbed that she knew something was up with them. If anything it seemed to be an accepted fact between them, which only served to rile Bella up everytime she saw a Cullen trying to chatter with Ray. The only Cullen that stayed far away from her was Edward, and given that Ray currently blamed all her problems on him this was probably for the best.
The box from England was taunting her. She still hadn't opened it and honestly she couldn't tell if she wanted to or if she wanted to throw it away without looking. Opening it would be painful. She didn't need anymore pain and distress in her life right now.
Annoyingly, Bella who she knew was obsessing about Edward, seemed to be handling the separation from him much better than Ray was handling not talking to Emmett. With a large sigh Ray considered the items on her bed this sunny Saturday. She had two options as she saw it. Possibly three. She could stay in and try to make headway with Bella which was about as easy as getting blood from a stone currently, she could stay in and open the box which would certainly be painful, or she could get the most awkward job out of the way and return Emmett's hoodie. They'd be home surely, given the sun.
It was a great shame Dan had a date today, because it was perfect hiking weather and Ray enjoyed crunching through the forests, keeping up mindless chatter or listening to the sounds of the animals snuffling around in the brush whilst she and Dan tried to find somewhere to stop and eat lunch, where he could draw and she had time to ruminate on her thoughts. She wanted his date to go well, of course she did, she just also needed the close friend she'd managed to make entirely by accident today and he was indisposed.
Dan had become important to Ray swiftly and confusingly but soundly. He had caught her walking to and from school a couple of times, during the early days of her argument with Bella and he had started picking her up and taking her back and forth. She ate lunch with his group of friends, he helped her avoid Jessica and her questions about what was going on between her and Bella and why she'd been holding Emmett Cullen's hand that one time. He confided in her and in turn gave her someone to confide in. Not that she could tell him everything of course, but having someone to listen to her trivial teenage problems about hating math and her Uncle thinking they were dating was much better than bottling that up along with everything else. When Bella could bare to spend the time to and from school with Ray again, Dan had made good on his promise to take her hiking, he'd pulled her out of her house the week Bella had Mike and Tara over for their Biology project and they'd explored a small area of the forest behind her house, marking off little areas that they liked. Ray had half a mind to go out herself but as she'd proved on countless outings with Dan now, her sense of direction was non-existent.
With a large sigh, Ray decided to give Dan a quick text.
Ray - So how's it going? Think he's going to be the one?
She exited her messages, locked her phone and slipped it into her pocket. Grabbing the hoodie and feeling brave she hopped down the stairs, the thumps seeming to time with her heart. Bella was in the kitchen, cooking or baking or something. She made good food, even if it was basically, 'How to ignore Ray' cookies.
"Hey Bells, can I borrow the truck?" She asked, pausing in the doorway to the kitchen.
Bella turned, her eyebrows rising in surprise, "Why?" She asked, already moving to fish the keys out of the pocket of her windbreaker.
"I want to drop this back to Emmett." She waved the hoodie. "I'm pretty sure I know where they live, it's a bit out of the way but I'll find it." She shrugged.
"You know something's weird about them Ray, you told me you didn't but you do, and now you suddenly know where they live?" Bella looked to be working herself back into anger, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown and her brow pulled into a hard line as she fixed her cousin with a penetrating gaze. Her voice however just sounded sad and exhausted which is how Ray felt with the entire situation. Her heart gave a painful pang and she decided perhaps she needed to risk being more mixed into the situation than she'd like to get out of it. It always gets worse before it gets better and all that rot right?
"Dan told me he thinks it's out as if you head to the Rez. Look Bells," Ray sighed. "Honestly I didn't see him move, you can believe that or not but I didn't. I didn't see him there before the accident you're right but I have to assume I just missed him right? What other conclusion is there?"
"I don't know! But there's something off and you lied to me." Bella pulled on the ends of her hair, her keys gripped tightly in her hand. "Why would you lie to me?"
"Bella I almost watched you die. Do you realise how terrifying that was?" Bella's expression softened as she assessed the look of distress on Ray's face. "I'm not saying you're crazy, I'm just saying what seems logical. Anything else weird you notice you want to talk about I'm here okay? We can figure this out, if there is anything to figure out. But I really don't want to fight with you anymore. I'm exhausted. I can keep telling you what I saw and what I didn't see until I'm blue in the face, it won't change anything. But Bells, nothing I've said contradicts what you think I just-" Ray huffed, slightly annoyed and crossed her arms in front of her, "I don't know okay? I don't know, I wasn't focused on him, I was focused on you. And now you won't even talk to me and I miss you okay? I miss my best friend."
Ray felt pretty good about the fact that none of that little statement was false, except the 'I don't know' bit because of course she did know, but even if she wanted to interfere in the book and tell Bella about the Cullens…. what would she say? Oh yeah he's a Vampire Bella and he swings between wanting to murder you and being fascinated by you daily. He saved you so he didn't expose them when your blood went bursting all over the place. That just wasn't something a rational person would believe. Bella might but Ray had considered this option in her loneliness without her cousin and she was pretty sure if Bella figured it out herself it would be better. After all who knew what cutting out a huge part of the story would do? Ray had accepted over her month of arguing with Bella, given the amount of time she had to think that she would have to change some things. Arguably some things had changed just by her mere presence here. Like Bella sharing a room for example, I wonder if Edward has started watching her sleep yet? Ray shuddered slightly distracted by her thoughts. However, staying away from the big reveal, that she was pretty sure she should do. She wasn't entirely convinced she shouldn't be staying out of things entirely still. It was such a fine line to walk.
Bella moved, quicker than Ray honestly thought she could without falling and wrapped her arms around the small blonde who returned the hug feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. "I'm sorry." Bella whispered.
"Me too."
Bella pulled back, large chocolate eyes tearful as she pressed the keys into her cousins hand. "Forget it. We can figure anything else out as it comes. I don't want to argue with you anymore either. I love you Ray."
"Love you too Bells." With a watery smile at her cousin, feeling much lighter and than she had in a long time, Ray practically floated to the truck.
If she could give Emmett this stupid hoodie back, without seeing anything supernatural and stay away from him there may just be hope for her yet. All she had to do was just fade into the background, hang out with Dan and let the story continue around her. She could become one of the nameless faces in the book right?
Like I've said guys my plot outline has been shat all over by the characters somewhat so can I get at least a :) to let me know you like where this is going in a review please? I love hearing from you all!
Anyway hope you enjoyed, next chapter should be out in a couple of days!
Rue :)