The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway…

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is pure silliness, goofiness, and ridiculousness. It is not meant to be taken seriously. It was inspired by a piece of fanart I saw on dA that showed Elsa naked. There was a comment on this fanart that said, and I quote: "This makes sense within the story. Elsa is not harmed by cold, so she doesn't need clothing for protection. In her ice palace she's beyond the reach of society, so she doesn't have to conform to notions of decency and modesty, and is free to go au naturel if she wishes." That sent my mind whirling and this, heaven help me, was the result.

Please review and tell me what you think!

The queen of Arendelle stood quite nude within the bright blue walls of her ice palace. She was humming softly to herself and swaying gently back and forth, back and forth as she did so. Lost in her reverie, she did not hear the delicate sound of footsteps as someone ascended the grand staircase…

Elsa jumped, startled by the sight of Anna before her. He sister's eyes were big as saucers and she seemed at a loss for words.

"You're… naked," Anna finally managed lamely. "Why are you naked?"

Elsa blushed furiously. She could feel her stomach squirming and doing backflips inside her conspicuously exposed belly. When at last she spoke, her voice was a squeak.

"It feels… nice…" she whispered hoarsely. "Pleasant… To have the cool air all over my body, caressing my skin… Not to be stifled in formal, queenly raiment… When I'm nude, I don't have to be something I'm not. I'm just as I am, as I was born… I'm… me… And it's liberating… and wonderful… and… and you're probably disgusted by me right now... I'm sorry. I didn't know I wasn't alone. Anna, I'm so, so sorry! I'll get dressed right away!"

Elsa waved an arm and prepared to form a new ice dress. Silver swirls started sweeping around her feet. That was when Anna did something Elsa never would have expected.

"Th- there's no reason to get dressed on my account," the princess murmured. "Not if... you're comfortable. I could never be disgusted by you, Elsa. I love you! And if this makes you happy, I won't judge."

Elsa's heart swelled with love for her sister. The first traces of her new garment melted swiftly away. "Really, Anna?" she asked softly. "Do you mean that?"

Anna appeared more than a trifle embarrassed, but still she smiled. "Oh, Elsa, of course I do. Now, come on! You've always told me you'd give me a full tour of this place!"

With Anna's words, confidence began to return to Elsa. Her step became springier and more buoyant as she walked through the palace's corridors and chambers, pointing out all the special touches she had put into the ice. In nothing but her birthday suit, she felt lighter than air.

"I put a great deal of effort into the chandelier," Elsa commented. "As you can see, there are many intricacies and patterns in its design."

"Uh-huh," Anna mumbled. "You're beautiful. I mean–"

Elsa's whipped her face around. As she did, she saw her sister's eyes were most definitely looking downwards, transfixed by something that was certainly not the chandelier.

"I mean, it's beautiful!" Anna stammered. "The derriere! Um, I mean the chandelier! Oh, my!"

Elsa raised an eyebrow. "Anna," she said smoothly, "are you staring at my butt?"

"Who, me?" Anna spluttered. All of a sudden, her head was tilted back as far as it could go, tilted to an absurd degree. It looked almost comical, this effort to feign innocence.

"I might've known you had an ulterior motive…"

"Well, maybe I did," Anna admitted with a sigh, "but, in the end, doesn't it work out best for the both of us? You get to go about as you please… and I get to behold your beautiful bottom. It is a beautiful, beautiful bottom, you know."

"Flattery, Anna–" Elsa interjected.

"A perfect, porcelain patootie. A heavenly heinie!"

Elsa could not help but giggle. "As I was saying," she continued after a moment, "flattery will do you nicely if it's spoken so sweetly."

Both young women beamed at each other.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Elsa," Anna told her earnestly. "This… does mean a lot to you, doesn't it?"

Elsa nodded.

"Perhaps I should try it," Anna mused, and with characteristic reckless exuberance, she started to shuck off her clothes… only to scramble to put them back on again in an instant.

"Cold," she squealed. "Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold! I should have remembered…"

Elsa finished Anna's thought with a laugh. "The cold never bothered me anyway."

Once more, there was joyous silence as the two stood in quiet contemplation together.

"If it means so much to you," Anna suddenly remarked, "maybe we could find a way for this to be more permissible in Arendelle. We could… we could say it's like in that fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes" and say you've got this special dress that's invisible if… if…"

Anna's voice trailed off disappointedly.

"Invisible if one is a fool, you mean?" Elsa mused. "No, no, Anna. I wouldn't want to insult anyone like that. Besides, an innocent child would no doubt find the truth out quite quickly."

"I guess you're right. Drat."

"It's a lovely little dream, though, dear one," Elsa reflected, "but I'll simply have to be content with the periods of peace I have here… and at Oaken's sauna, on occasion."

"Well, if the citizens of Arendelle have already accepted a queen with miraculous powers over ice and snow," Anna mused, "maybe someday they'll accept a queen with miraculous powers over ice and snow who's a nudist."

Elsa's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Maybe someday…"